Haunting Me
by JouChan13
Summary: Pain from the past transcends to the present. Coloring the future of Kamiya Kaoru. A normal young woman who finds herself in the middle of desire and loathing for a man she has not yet met. BattoussaiKaoru
1. prologue

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

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Prologue

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Kamiya Kaoru walked into her room tossing her school bag into a nearby chair before she too tossed herself onto her bed. "What an exhausting day." She spoke out loud. At seventeen her dark ebony hair and deep blue eyes made her a rarity amongst other girls. Some days she literally had to beat the boys off. They thought that because she was so young, or perhaps because she was petite, that she wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight. Ah, but that's where they were wrong.

She smiled as she closed her eyes.

Her father had a family friend train her in the art of kempo since she turned five. Her father had thought she would look too much like her mother and because of that he'd wanted her to be able to defend herself. So she wouldn't meet the same fate her mother had.

Kaoru turned her head to the side to look at her clock on the nightstand. She had to start packing. Today had been the last day of school for her. She was reluctant to get up. She really didn't want to go but she was all her father had and she had to support him. She had never been selfish and she would not start now. Kaoru got up and began packing her things in the boxes her father had brought her. Soon they would be off to the states.

"Kaoru-chan." Her father knocked on the door lightly before entering.

"Hi papa." Kaoru greeted from behind fortress of boxes. She had been packing for hours now.

"I thought we might have dinner together," he said taking a seat at the end of her bed.

Kaoru looked around her room. "Sure papa, let's go." She said reaching for his hand. She was about a third of the way on her packing. Not bad considering she still had two more days. So she had plenty of time.

"I really think you will like New York."

Kaoru looked up at her father. She smiled at him as he continued.

"It's very much like Tokyo and with your English you will have no problem at all. You'll have some time before classes start. I've cleared my day already so I can go with you to the NYU orientation."

"That's fine, papa." Kaoru responded. Her father looked very much like her uncle or maybe it was the other way around. Her father was tall, fairs skinned and with deep expressive eyes. They were a dark brown, almost black. At forty-five her father was very handsome. She smiled as he continued to talk. He was very excited about being promoted. This move was a big deal for him.

She listened intently all through out dinner, nodding her head and answering, as she should. He knew she didn't want to go even though she'd never said anything. He knew.

She got back to her room. Changing her clothes before she continued her packing. She wanted to be at least half way before she stopped.

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It was so dark. The blackness of night seemed to cover everything in sight blinding her to what lays in the shadows, looming. She feels the bitter cold of night as a breeze picks up carrying the sound of hushed whispers so cold and frightening. She knows there is something out there, she can feel its presence hiding in the corners of shadow. The presence stalks her, she is sure it follows as she backs away. The presence haunts her.

She feels a chill glide over her, seeping through her clothes and into her skin. There is a but a glimpse of gold for a moment before it vanishes, leaving her in complete darkness once again.

The gold comes again but its form is shrouded in shadow, speaking to her without words. The wind picks up and the silken whispers return. For a brief moment she feels the need to embrace the dark. So terrifying it seems but she is curious, drawn. Gold colored spots appear in the dark again but they're so far away, she wonders about the distance. She feels lost and confused yet she is aware of the twin pools of gold growing closer. Wind and whispers merge into a single voice, still so low, it's nothing more than a hushed murmur. It calls out to her yet she is unable to make out its words.

The twin pools gold have stopped; suddenly it occurs to her that these are the eyes of the stalking presence. A presence she's felt all her life. They look down at her now filling her with need and desperation. Yearning flares in their depths, the flicker of emotion eats at her mind because she recognizes it. She knows those eyes. She's seem them before.

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Kaoru woke up slowly. Feeling the last webs of sleep drifting away. Such a strange dream. She dismissed it but couldn't help feeling a sense of foreboding. She shook her head and headed for the shower. Today she would finish packing. They would be setting off for the states the day after tomorrow and she wanted to be done with it.

She'd spent the entire day working hard trying to forget, still the feeling hadn't lessened instead it'd grown stronger. If she didn't know any better, she'd say it felt like a warning. She laughed that didn't make any sense at all.

The ringing of her phone made her stop laughing. She listened closely. The ringing came again, so she was sure she wasn't crazy. She picked up her cell phone noticing it was her father. "Hi papa."

"Kaoru-chan." He greeted back. "Listen, I'm closing some last minute deals so I won't be home for dinner."

"All right." Kaoru said taking a seat on the corner of her bed.

"Try not to stay up too late. I'll see you tomorrow, ok ."

"I'll right papa." She smiled a bit before she said her goodbyes and hung up the phone. She was used to him breaking their dates so it didn't bother her like it used to when she was small.

She decided that after a small snack she would come back and finish her packing. If she finished her packing today then she'd have the whole day off tomorrow. Maybe she could get some last minute shopping done.

She walked down the hall suddenly feeling anxious. In all the years that they'd lived here she had never felt fearful before. She tried to shake off the feeling but instead she found herself turning on all the lights in all the rooms that lay in her path.

She fixed her self a quick snack feeling better now that the lights were on. She took a bite out of her sandwich as she made her way down the hall. Real brave, she thought as she took a wide turn around the corner of the hall, peaking over before she went any further. Why did she think there would be someone there? She laughed nervously and continued to her room. She was determined to finish today.

Kenji Kamiya entered his home. Surprised by the amount of lights. He entered quietly and cautiously. He left his briefcase on the sofa as he made his way to his daughters' room. Fate couldn't take away his daughter too. Life couldn't be that cruel. He reached her door noticing the light in her room was still on. He pushed the door quietly.

She looked like she was sleeping, lying on her stomach. She hadn't even changed into her pj's. Kenji drew closer until she was within reach. Then slowly he felt for a pulse. He sighed in relief when he felt the steady pulse. His greatest fear was something happening to her. He threw a light blanket on her before living her room. He was about to shut the light off when he thought better of it. She must have left them on for a reason, as strange as it sounded he felt that was the case.

He left the room and went back out, reaching for his briefcase as he passed by the sofa. Life would be easier for them once they were settled in New York. He settled on his bed picking up the picture of his beloved late wife. 'Why?' He thought sadly. 'Did you ever leave me alone.' The blue-eyed beauty in the picture smiled at him with warmth.

"I hope the bastard burns in hell for what he did to you."

He placed the picture back on his nightstand and moved over to the small mini bar he had in his room. He'd taken up drinking ever since his wife had passed on. Always before bed. It eased the loneliness and the bitterness he felt. "Kaiya." He thought before tossing back a drink.

*************

Kaoru looked around nervously. She had never been out of Japan. And she was very excited despite been under the weather. It was odd the way the flu had taken over her.

Kenji took his daughter's hand, smiling at her before pulling her along. She looked pale. He'd noticed but he hadn't wanted to say anything. It would be hours before they arrived at their destinations. It looked like they were some of the last people to board the plane.

Kaoru sat back and relaxed.

"Why don't you take a nap. I'll wake you later." Kenji said patting her hand.

She nodded, closing her eyes and sinking into her seat. She'd been plagued with odd dreams in the last couple of days and it had only increased her anxiety. She was beginning to feel like she was been watched. She exhaled slowly. Her body relaxed and slowly she settled into slumber.

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Nightfall has found her alone with whatever this obscurity hides. The presence that's taken on form is near. Somewhere in the darkness, he is there. She breathes in deeply breathing the heady scent of the darkness.

The twin pools of gold approach, advancing the space between them in but a few strides.

His eyes so deep and intense they speak to her without words. Eyes that hypnotize, making her complacent. The look consumes her. The way they devour the sight of her. She can't hide from those eyes; they steal her secrets, here in the dark. Stirring her soul, teaching it to yearn, to long. For him.

She resists still.

Standing close to him but with enough room to turn and run away. She is fascinated by him, learning about him little by little. She yearns to steal his secrets the way he's stolen hers. Flickers of emotion flash through his eyes but they are always too fast for her to catch.

Fascination is quickly becoming obsession. He frightens her but she refuses to flee. The wind stirs around them. He whispers something but she still can't make out the words. Yet she knows his voice, the same way she knows his eyes. She knows him.

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Kaoru's eyes snapped open. She looked around wildly feeling disoriented. A dark haired man peered at her with concern. She blinked and her father leaned forward feeling her forehead. "Papa." She was so confused. For a moment there. She hadn't known it was her father.

Kenji looked at her concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Papa." She didn't quiet know how to put it. She looked out the window of the plane. The further from Japan they got to more dread filled her. "I don't feel too well." She said turning back to face him.

"Is it the flu?" He said grasping her hand. Worry crossed his feature. Her hand was so cold.

"No," she said softly.

"We'll see a doctor as soon as we land." He said giving her hand a squeeze.

She nodded and smiled lightly. She had a feeling, that what she had wasn't the flu. It was hard to explain but she felt the dream might be the cause.

*************

"Mr. Kamiya all I can tell you is that it must be the stress of the move. Everything else checks out fine."

"Look at her." Kenji roared. He took a deep breath and tried again. "Does she look like she's fine to you?" He said pointing at his daughter.

Kaoru hugged her coat tighter to her body. The air conditioner was on way too high. She looked at her father who seemed really mad about something. The doctor and him had moved away as soon as her check up had finished. She caught some of the word but not all of them. All in all she still had no idea what they were saying.

"Come one." Kenji barked at his daughter.

Kaoru's eyes widen but she followed her father out, quickening her pace as she sought to catch with him. "What did he say?"

"Idiot. Thinks its stress."

Kaoru pondered on it for a moment. "Stress can be a powerful thing. It can cause panic attacks and . . . . "

"Enough!" Kenji cut her off. He turned to face his daughter. "I don't believe its stress koneko." He said touching her nose. "I want a second opinion. We'll go to a different doctor tomorrow."

Kaoru nodded.

Kenji held her hand pulling her closer to him. He loved his daughter more than life. She was all he had left. He didn't want anything to happen to her. He pulled her along to the end of the street. There they stopped while he hailed a cab.

Kaoru felt weary of all the moving around. She hadn't been able to fall asleep on the plane after her dream. Now several hours later she felt dead on her feet. Her eye lids where so heavy; they drooped from time to time. She felt the cab stop and she looked around. A yawn escaping her lips as they got out.

Her eyes didn't really take notice of the building. She did however notice the doorman and the long strip of red carpet they were walking on. The man greeted them, opening the door so they could come in. She smiled at him as they passed by. Finally she would get some sleep.

Kenji led her out of the elevator, looking at the doors as they passed by. He stopped them in front of room 504 and opened the door. The entire living room was lined with boxes, everywhere he looked there they were. He made his way around trying to find her room. He felt her leaning more of her weight on him. She was going to fall asleep standing up. He sighed finally reaching the last door. He was glad her bed had been set up. He lay her down but she was asleep before her head touched the mattress. He dug through the boxes until he found a blanket. He covered her before he left the room, leaving the door ajar just in case she needed something.

Kenji woke with a start. Nightmares seemed to plague him when he worried over Kaoru. He'd also forgotten his nightcap. He quickly got up and made his way over to the bathroom. A quick shower and clean clothes then they'd be off to another doctor.

"Kaoru? I was just coming to get you," He said as he looked at her closely. He'd almost knocked her over in his haste. She was smiling brightly. She was pale but she seemed happy.

"I woke up early." She said as she followed him. "I started setting up my things. My room is huge, bigger than the one back home."

He listened to her chatter paying careful attention to the way she spoke. They walked through a sea of people before he decided they should take a cab. They'd venture the subway system at a later time.

The cab dropped them in front of the hospital. He hesitated afraid of what they would say. He helped her out and together they made their way in. Suddenly afraid, he crossed his fingers hoping that it really just was stress.

This prologue moved a bit too slow for my taste. After a lot of deliberation I decided to post the story as is though. I figure, if I change my mind I can always fix chapter one to incorporate some of this. For those of you waiting for _Battoussai_, well don't be sad, this is the only chapter he wasn't in. So yes, he will be in all the others. I'm a big Batt/Kaoru fan.

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Remember that anything between these lines means _Dream Sequence_.

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	2. chapter 01

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter One

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She fled into the necropolis, so vast and familiar. Stepping on the wet earth all the while smelling it's cool scent. She tilted her face upwards, closing her eyes while raindrops plunged from the heavens splattering on the surface creating an unworldly haze. She enjoyed gloomy days like this. Her eyes remained closed enjoying the darkness, wanting to be enveloped by the familiar shadow.

"What are you doing?"

Long fingers grasped her arms whirling her around. Her eyes snapped opened meeting a set of deep blue-violet eyes, narrowed in concern. His voice was deep, almost harsh. He grasped her hand and dragged her back inside, into the familiar house. Away from the rain.

Their feet made splashing noises as they walked on the hardwood floors. She almost slipped but he caught her, bringing her closer to his body. They reached her room quickly, not bothering to open the doors; he kicked them in angrily. He dragged her inside, sitting her in front of the large fireplace while he fetched her a blanket. She felt the warmth of the room and the thickness of the blanket as it was placed around her shoulders. Slowly she felt the numbness leaving her body.

"Kaoru."

She moved her eyes to familiar face. They looked at each other for a while before he moved closer. "How long are you going to stay angry?"

Kaoru stared at the redheaded man. He haunted her to no end. There where times when she felt so angry. She understood she was mad to some extend but she didn't know how she'd gotten that way.

"Koishii," He drawled in a silky voice, tempting her out of her angry mood. Extending his hand and tracing a finger over her cheek. She looked into his eyes wondering if they would change color. Wondering if he would reveal himself today. "How long will you stay angry?" His voice was deceptively low. A ghost of a smile played on his lips as his touch caused her to shiver.

She looked at his smug face and suddenly she had the urge to physically wipe the smile off his face. Her hands fisted, ready to whack him over the head but she knew better, now. He was much to fast for her.

In the last year she'd abused him almost as often as he'd angered her. Lately he seemed to be taking liberties though. She still didn't know how she felt about that. I mean yes, the first time it had been she who kissed him but she'd been . . . . out of touch with reality.

His hand traced the smoothness of her cheek; slowly moving his hand to her chin while his thumb caressed the curved of her bottom lip. "Koishii?"

The endearment broke her out of the spell. The false sense of security she'd fallen into. "I want you to leave." She ordered, slapping his hand away. "Get out!" She yelled.

"Koishii?"

She drew further into the blanket shielding herself from his alluring affect. "Get out!"

"Kaoru." He tried again.

"I loathe you Kenshin, with all that I am. I loathe you." She hissed in a low tone.

The concern and affection on his face vanished completely. She could see the muscles in his jaw moving as he gritted his teeth. The color of his eyes glinted silvery as their color deepened in hue. He turned and left the room.

She sighed feeling the hate simmer to a controllable rage. The fury often went as fast as it came. He never should have left her. He'd promised. And still he'd left. She knew that's where the problem stemmed from. Still she didn't know when he'd actually broken his promise but the anger and the hate where strong, overwhelmingly so. Because of that she reasoned it couldn't have been that long ago.

There where so many thoughts in her head. She wished they would all stop, at least for a while. She was so tired. She settled on the floor immersing herself in the large blanket. Her face turned sideways, looking into the fire. She could here the rain hitting the roof. The sound was comforting

Her eyes focused on a blaze of orange and yellow; staring at is until her thoughts whirled with the flames. She stared at it till she felt her eyelids drooping, heavy with sleep. Sleep a black abyss where there were no thoughts, no people and most of all, no HIM. Slowly, slumber encompassed her conscious allowing her a temporary escape.

"Was there any change today?"

"I'm afraid not Mr. Kamiya. She sat out in the sun for a bit before we brought her back in. She's been lying there since eleven." The nurse answered sadly.

"Thank you, Maggie." Kenji spared her a glance before taking his seat over by his daughters' bedside.

"Kaoru-chan." Kenji said taking hold of his daughters hand. "It's your papa." He said rubbing his palms over her cold hand. "I had hoped that you would have recovered by now." He pressed his forehead against her hand. "It's been three years Kaoru. Did you know that? Three years since you locked yourself away from me, from the world." Kenji felt a stinging sensation just behind his lids. He cried every time he came to visit. "I got another promotion. We'll be able to take that vacation I've been promising you." He squeezed her hand gently. "In a week. We'll be leaving in a week." He said as he looked at her peaceful features.

*************

The sun shone sadly in the sky. Pale blues, purples and reds, entwined with gray, creating a dismal mood over the necropolis where and old woman stood over a grave, trembling.

How I loathe you.

More than life and more than breath.

I will never forgive you. Not if I'm born a thousand times over. My hate will transcend time. Though if, I am, I swear to you now, I will find you and I will make you pay. For the pain, for the heartbreak.

I loathe you with all that I am. I loathe you.

I will make you suffer the pain of a broken promise. For leaving me. I will make you suffer. Suffer as I do now.

Kaoru watched from afar as the old woman fisted her hands, pounding on the dirt and screaming out the injustice of it all. She'd snuck out of the house again, coming here to her favorite spot. But her spot was currently occupied. The old woman stood over it.

I hate you, Kenshin.

Kaoru stood very still. She couldn't have heard what she thought she'd heard.

Kenshin

The anguished cry was so much like her own when she needed him. The old woman was . . . . . Kaoru looked up again but the old woman was gone. She wondered where the woman had gone but she pushed the thought to the back of her head. She needed to see what the grave said. She'd never bothered to read it before. Her heart raced the closer she got.

"Kaoru!"

She quickened her pace at the call of her name. Kneeling on the soft earth when she reached the grave. Her hands worked furiously, removing the vines wrapping the headstone.

"Get away from there." Kenshin's voice was tight with anger.

"Himura Ken . . . ." She read before she was roughly pulled away. Her eyes were wide in freight and disbelief. It couldn't be. How? No, it couldn't be.

Kenshin had stilled. His eyes were a dark gold filled with emotion as he watched her rise to her feet and face him. "I had hoped for more time with you." Kenshin said as he closed the distance between them. "It was nice reliving some of our time together:" He said caressing her cheek.

"Reliving?" Kaoru made out.

"I must say, nothing was better than when both you and I were real." He said cupping her cheek.

"What do you mean? I am real." Kaoru said in confusion. His bewitching eyes had a way of making her forget herself.

"How, I love you." He sighed. He leaned forward to kiss her but she pulled back. "Kaoru, don't let the past color the future." His hand moved to grasp her but it stopped in mid motion. He had one opportunity to claim her. He could have her if he decided to take her. He could show her how their passion burned, the intensity of their love. He could make her forget anything and everything. If he would.

But he could not do it. He could have made her his but he did not. Seeing her face, pale with anger and tight with hate. He couldn't because he hadn't given her the answers she sought. She might have longed for his touch, deep down in the depths of her soul but he doubted that he'd ever get the chance. If only she would forgive him.

He suddenly felt fear. What if she never forgave him? He could not harm her. He could not force his love on her. What would he become without her? If he took her, he could keep her here in the dark recess of reality. But if she stayed, it would be her choice. He would not use force, he would not hurt her and so his hand dropped to his side, limp and useless. "I love you."

Her eyes narrowed in anger. She refused to believe him. 'Love.' the word brought a bitter feeling to her mouth. "Before when I said the words, you recognized them." She accused. "You've known all along where my angry outburst where coming from. That's why you didn't say anything." She felt the familiar anger bubbling to the surface while hate wove itself in, creeping into her voice and into her mind.

"It's true then." Kaoru accused. This place, it was all a lie. She was the old woman.

The color of his eyes changed. Tortured blue-violet eyes, heavy with longing and love where met head on with stubborn sapphire eyes. She had her confirmation. But it was hard to break the trance his eyes pulled her into. His eyes so deep and dark, where searching, haunted and restless.

She felt like giving in, her heart beat to forgive him but her anger and hate seemed stronger and it dominated over the softer feelings in her heart. "The suffering you caused is too strong." Kaoru tried to explain. "You will suffer as I have." She felt hollow as she said it like it wasn't really her yet the words still spilled from her mouth. "You will suffer the pain of a broken promise." She said as she began to fade.

Glittering golden eyes watched her. "You will not escape the flame." He warned as the corners of his mouth turned upwards in the semblance of a smile. She felt the power of his spirit stretch out towards her, reaching out for her.

Deep sapphire eyes opened slowly, peering dazedly from beneath thick midnight lashes, soft and wet with sleep. Kaoru blinked slowly before opening her eyes completely, assaulted by blinding light as soon as she did. A light much too bright for her sensitive eyes. She squinted trying to make out the hazy shapes. The shapes eventually cleared and she was able to make out her surroundings. This looked like . . . . . an airplane.

"Everyone please, fasten your seatbelts we'll be landing in the next couple of minutes." The sound of the PA sounded loud to her ears.

She turned to her left and in the seat next to her was her father, slumped in his chair. Goodness did he look bad. Her eyes fell on a water bottle and suddenly she remembered her dry lips and parched throat. The muscles in her arm protested as she reached over into her father's seat and took the bottle. Opening the bottle was much harder than its retrieval. She twisted the cap and cried out in pain just as the plane's first wheel bumped the pavement. Still she had the top off. She drank the water slowly but still the semi-cold liquid burned her throat.

Kenji opened his eyes slowly. Feeling the familiar headache of having had one too many drinks. He noticed people were starting to get up, leaving their seats. 'Must have landed,' he thought. He turned left and . . . .

"Hi." Kaoru's voice was rough but she didn't remember been sick.

Kenji looked at his daughter and then began to cry. "Oh Kaoru." He sobbed. He knew it had all been his fault. The move. It was his fault. Her waking was proof of that. The moment they'd gotten back to Japan she'd woken. She'd woken. "Because we're in Japan." He said hugging her tighter.

Kaoru was confused. "I thought, weren't we going to the states?" She tasted blood in the back of her throat and it was becoming an effort to talk.

Kenji stopped crying, frowning at the new predicament. "Koneko, I think we can talk about this once we're settled in." He said wiping his eyes. He smiled at her lovingly.

"All right." She rasped. She tried to stand and found she couldn't. "Papa, I can't stand."

"It's all right. It's all right." He soothed. He bent down, affirming his grip before he lifted her in his arms and carried her off the plane.

Kenji walked through the airport feeling lightness in his heart. Kami, he was happy. She'd opened her eyes and she knew him. She knew him. They had luggage but they could always get that later. He made his way to the exit. First things first. She needed a check up. He sighed happily as he continued weaving through the sea of people.

*************

Kaoru lay back on a mountain of pillows drinking her tea. Her movements were slow but she could at least move, now without the constant pain. It'd been three weeks since they'd arrived in Japan and her father had taken care of everything down to the last detail. He'd spent a lot of time with her in that time but he'd always been reluctant to talk. She'd allowed him time, a week or so before she began to press him about what had happened.

She still couldn't believe she'd been out of it for so long. It all felt like one long dream; some things were still fuzzy but to her it's almost like they'd never left. She still had her room, in the same house she'd always lived in. Her father had even gone so far as to buy replica's of everything she'd ever own. Well almost everything.

She settled her teacup back on the tray by her side before she picked up her magazine again. She turned the page looking at the pictures of what was in style now. She'd go shopping as soon as she got better. Her eyes lingered on a pair of leather Prada boots; reluctantly she turned the page. She felt the blood drain out of her face.

A man with deep red hair and captivating eyes looked up at her from the magazine.

It couldn't be. She read the caption underneath the picture and it only served in making her feel unbalanced.

Himura Kenshin was spotted at the new club, **Blade **here in Tokyo. By his side, the well known model Kelly Yu. A new "friend."

Plans of her shopping trip disappeared from her head completely. Her mouth hung open, as she took in his appearance. His hair was tied back and from the angle of the picture it was hard to tell just how long his hair was, though it looked long. His eyes were something in between as deep blue and purple. An odd color. He had a serious expression on his face but it didn't lessen the effect. He was beautiful. Kaoru felt her heart skip a beat. She traced the angles of his face, her finger lingering over his lips. There was something about that face.

"You haunt me to no end."

Where were those words from? She bit her bottom lip in concentration. Her heart began to race and her hands became cold. _Pain . . . . . Broken promise . . . . and . . . . _What was that other word?

She squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the side of her head. What was that other word?

Suffer.

Yes, those were the words. The ones from her dreams. Words she often thought she heard in the breeze. Her eyes turned back to the picture, to the image of the man. Such hunting features.

I was writing this story, skipping over two other Batt/Kao fics I have on my hard drive when I went to FF.net; RK section. It seems like everyone's jumped on the same timeline. So now I find myself unsure as to whether I should finish it or just go back to _Dark Times_. I guess I'll just wait and see how it's received. Hopefully my loyal readers will come out of the woodwork and help me out. Remember to read the _small notes_ if you feel lost as to where we are in the story. Drop me a line if you have further questions. 

I've left enough space between scene changes, so there shouldn't be any confusion so far. 

Small Notes: Kaoru has fallen into a state between reality and dream. Her mind is caught in the past but not reliving things as to how they originally happened. A deep seeded anger has twisted things, memories, feelings. 

Kaoru wakes up once she's in Japan with little to no memory as to what happened in the dreams. But sometimes she catches glimpses. Though not enough to peace together what was. For the moment, there is nothing but fascination for the redheaded man with haunting eyes.


	3. chapter 02

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Two

*************

Kaoru stretched her arms over her head before she bent and touched the top of her toe with her fingertips. She still hurt a bit but she could walk around on her own now. Two months had passed since her father had gone back to the states. He'd been reluctant to go as she remembered but he'd gone after she insisted. She was twenty, in a couple of months she'd be twenty-one. She was more than old enough to live on her own. Kaoru moved her arms in the usual routine warming up her body before she began her jog. Today was a pretty eventful day. She'd be leaving the house for the very first time since they'd come back, doctor's appointment.

She knew what he was going to say too. "Mrs. Kamiya you're under nourished. Forty pounds beneath you required weight. You need vitamins and blah, blah, blah." She was very well aware of what she needed. She just needed to time to heal. She'd been confined to a bed for years, they couldn't possibly expect for her to get better in two months time. She sighed again. I guess the test result was more for her father than anyone else. He wanted to keep an eye on her health. Poor guy, he must have been really scared.

Kaoru stood and walked over to her treadmill. She turned the CD player on the side of the treadmill before she began her jog. She closed her eyes trying to pay attention to the words. Not to the haunting images of a sexy redhead who now seemed to occupy most of her dreams. She ran a little faster focusing on her breathing until her mind became busy with the task, too busy to think of anything else. Exercise and a shower, then she'd go.

Kaoru pulled on the dark gray turtleneck. It was thick and with it on, she looked like she hadn't lost much weight. She was glad for that. She put on her black trench coat and exited the house. You couldn't tell she was any different than any of her pictures. Not with the make-up and thick clothes in place. She smiled not feeling self conscious anymore. Her long midnight hair swung behind her as she walked down the busy street. The cold air brought a nice healthy glow to her skin.

The streets where busy with people and the roads where full of vehicles. Everything about this winter morning seemed perfect. All she needed was for it to start raining. She stopped at the light feeling the corners of her mouth turn up as a small raindrop fell on her nose. She looked up and stuck her tongue out. Another raindrop fell into her waiting mouth.

Kaoru moved her head to the side feeling she was being watched. A woman sitting in a car right next to her was looking at her with so much hate it made Kaoru snap out of her trance. Why was she looking at her like that?

"The light." Someone's voice carried to her.

Kaoru looked at the woman one last time before she began her walk, opening her umbrella as it began to pour.

The woman in the car watched the black clothed figured disappear into the sea of people before her eyes turned to her companion. "What the fuck was that about?"

The redheaded man next to her gave her a lazy smile. "Last time I checked we weren't married." He said with a mocking smile on his lips. His eyes now focused on the brunet sitting next to him.

She gave him a baleful look before she turned in her seat and looked out the window. Himura Kenshin laughed. He put the car into gear and sped down the streets.

His thoughts lingered on the petite woman at the intersection. She'd seemed happy, childlike, the way she'd stuck out her tongue to catch that first drop of rain. She'd been very beautiful as far as he could tell. Though she'd had on too many clothes for his liking. Her eyes had looked intently at his companion but not at him. She'd been oblivious to his presence. That bothered him.

"Kenshin."

The woman next to him seemed to catch onto his thoughts. She placed her hand on his knee, slowly moving it up his leg. He smiled at her boldness. He shifted gears making the car growl as they increased in speed.

Momoyama Tori entered her luxuries penthouse, slamming the door open. She was beyond pissed. He'd dropped her off. Of all the nerve he'd driven her over like he couldn't wait to have her alone and then he just dropped her off. Uurgh!

"Bastard!"

Just who the hell does he think he is? Just because he's hot and rich doesn't mean he can just toss women around like dolls. Son-of . . .

She cut herself short. She knew he'd never had along term relationship. He dated women no more than a month before he moved onto the next. The man was either afraid of commitment or he was easily bored. She was pretty sure it was the later. She sighed, tossing her keys somewhere in her home and made a beeline straight for the fridge. She needed chocolate.

*************

Kaoru placed her keys on a small table by the door. Removing her shoes and jacket before she made her way over to the fax machine. She'd gotten two calls from her father so far. One was to remind her about her doctors' appointment and the other one was to remind her about sharing her results. All in all she felt beat. She picked up the phone and ordered herself some dinner. She had about fifteen minutes from the time she called to the time the food was delivered.

She sighed as she moved from her father's office and into her room. She would change, eat, wait a little and then go to sleep. She really needed to get out more. She took a seat on the couch and turned the tv on, putting it on mute so she could hear the doorbell. She leaned her head on the couch and began flipping through channels. There was never anything good on.

The doorbell woke her out of her reverie. She quickly stood and raced to the door, money in hand.

She ate happily, munching on a baby corn from time to time. Her eyes caught sight of a familiar woman and she turned the volume up.

Leading actress Momoya Tori has signed on for **Tears of Blood**, a project that will take her far from home and all the way to Egypt.

She didn't know she was an actress. That was the same woman though. The one that'd been glaring at her. Her mind focused on the tv the moment she saw the familiar head of red hair. She turned the volume on and cursed when she muted it instead. Finally she got it to work.

Himura Kenshin's most recent girlfriend.

Unfortunately she only caught some of the report. Just as well. She shut the tv set and began to clean up. Despite the momentary flash of curiosity she was still sleepy. She put leftovers in the fridge and threw the rest of the things away. She yawned. It was so time for bed.

She moved to her bed in a daze. Smiling as she lay down underneath a thick comforter. She closed her eyes and sighed contently.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

"Kaoru."

The voice whispered, softly, seductively . . . .

"Open your eyes."

Again, that voice warm and seductive. It called out to her, making her ache.

"Koishii."

The voice . . . . it needed her . . . . . wanted her.

"Koibito."

She shivered at his tone. Smiling as she felt a hand moving from her neck to her cheek, coaxing her to wake. Her eyes fluttered open, bringing her close to blue-violet eyes that darkened and a mouth that was, for lack of a better word, perfect. Lips that looked soft and inviting. And for the briefest of moments she felt overwhelmed with emotion.

"You can't hide from me."

His voice was low. His breath wafted over her lips before they were caught in an achingly slow kiss. Sensual and tantalizing before it deepened to hard and bruising.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Kaoru opened her eyes slowly. Sighing in disappointment. Another dream. Always something different but always the same leading man. This one had been nice though. Not weird like some of the others where she's trying to break him. Odd way of saying it. Hmm.

She tried to shake the feeling off; today she would meet with a personal trainer that would get her back on track with her weight. She nodded her head at no one in particular before she flung the bedcovers off to the side. She couldn't wait to be all-better. She hated having to think about what she could and could not eat. She'd never had to do it before and it bothered her that she had to do it now. Hopefully with the trainer she'd be back to her normal weight and then she could go back to how things were. Only then would she worry about other things. Like what she was going to do with herself.

She sighed regretfully. She should have been close to finishing college. She wasn't sure if she still wanted to be a pediatrician. Maybe she could get a job for a while and decide later on what to do. She shook her head as she stepped into the shower. She still wasn't sure . . . . . about anything.

*************

Himura Kenshin former member of the Public Security Bureau promoted several times in his career with the national police force has been awarded two special awards by the Ministry and one by the Minister himself for his work in S-9.

Himura now 31 was first introduced to us during the highly publicized incident in Tokyo last year where a cult guru took the national airport hostage. Ever since he's been trying to hide from the limelight. His tough guy aura has made him irresistible to the female population of Japan making him the most sought after male in the land.

Retired as he is now from government service he has take a job in AKIHITO Corp. working as head of security for the ever growing multi-billion dollar company. The redhead quoted to a*friend* "Works isn't as exciting but its still good." His connection with branches all over the government will surely make him valuable for his new employer and surely worth his six figure income.

Like any great novel, Himura Kenshin's life reads like a book, full of mystery and holes. But in the end, its want makes him so alluring.

The pale glow of the pc screen reflected off Kaoru's face as she finished another article on the Himura Kenshin. This was becoming more interesting by the minute. So Himura was older than her, 11yrs her senior. Hhmm, it didn't seem like much of a difference when she looked at him. He looked good in the picture taken by **The Asahi Shimbun.** His black special unit's uniform made him look . . . . almost dangerous. Nothing like the pictures in recent magazines. Those pictures had a tendency to make him look more like a model. Very beautiful and extremely sexy.

What was wrong with her?

Honestly you think she'd never seen a nice looking man before. She shut her pc off and stood, stretching her limbs before she walked out of her room in search of a snack. What did she expect to do with all the information she'd gathered? She doubted she'd ever get the chance to meet him face to face anyways. The way he looked in the magazines though; he was probably conceited.

She pulled a small yogurt out of the fridge and made her way out of the kitchen. She tossed herself onto the couch, resting her head on one of the pillows. Would he really be conceited? Sometimes when she looked at his pictures she felt she knew him. She felt attraction for him then.

There were other times though when she caught sight of him on the news or somewhere else, she felt appalled by the whole ordeal mainly because he looked callous and detached. She gripped the ridge of her nose. She felt another headache coming on. How can you feel so much for someone you didn't know?

Small Notes: Time has passed and Kaoru is getting better. Dreams and fantasy are beginning to coax her heart but the deep seeded anger has a firm grasp on her soul. Her emotions are becoming conflicted and she finds herself mystified by the whole ordeal. 

PUBLIC SECURITY BUREAU

The Public Security Bureau is a national police force used by the Ministries. It is almost military in nature and often engages in espionage and special operations. There are 9 distinct sections, each of which answers to one Ministry or another.

Section 9 is the Ministry of Internal Affairs counter-terrorist, cyborg crimes, and assassination squad. It is a paramilitary organization, and most of its members are full cyborgs. It is no coincidence that Section 9 resembles the German GSG9 (Without a doubt, the most extensively trained and equipped counter-terrorist squad on the planet), and like each GSG9 agent, each S-9 member is extensively trained in combat, anti-terrorism and investigations. When a terrorist incident occurs it is S-9's job to either stop it, or investigate the aftermath and find those responsible.


	4. chapter 03

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.

FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Three

*************

Red locks fell into his eyes, as the low ponytail he had his hair became undone. It often did during his usual morning exercise. He stretched his lean body flexing his muscles as he moved through with quick precise movements.

Life in an office was so boring. There was never anything to do. He knew he'd been hired for his image. The way the media had hounded him after the airport incident had been revolting. He'd been close to unloading his gun on more than one occasion. In the end he was forced to retire. How could he work where everywhere he went there they were? Filthy bastards. He growled in annoyance.

"What!" He barked.

The door slowly opened to reveal a timid looking man in a dark suit. "A Himura-san, you're here. Um, Kurizuma-san needs to see you."

Kenshin nodded. "I'll be there in an hour." He turned his back and finished his exercise.

The timid man looked on in amazement as Kenshin cut through the air with his boken. He bowed towards Himura after a moment and closed the door quietly. It was odd how he sensed people before they even knocked. He shook his head and moved away from the door and back to Kurizuma's office.

An hour later on the dot, the redheaded man stepped into a large office. He stood straight, in front of the Kurizuma's desk with his hands behind his back, waiting.

Kurizuma, a man in his mid-forties with salt pepper hair and small brown eyes sat in his chair looking at Himura. Amusement showed on his face as he stared at the head of security. Old habits died hard and it was easily visible that Himura was still very much a soldier. But how could he not be. Himura had resigned only six months ago after sixteen years in service. Kurizuma sighed wearily. "Himura-san I've called you here because we will be throwing a large gala. It's been set for the month of September 2nd that's exactly a month from today." Kurizuma slid a piece of paper across his desk to Himura. "This is where we'll be holding it. It'll be more then just businessmen and important foreigners so please, if you could make the appropriate security arrangements."

Himura nodded before he took the small parchment.

"The guest list has been made out and faxed to your office." Kurizuma looked pensive for a moment to see if he'd forgotten anything else. "You do have the company credit card right?"

Himura nodded.

"All right, just charge anything you need on that. We know you might require large funds for whatever services you may seem fit to employ so the cards' statue has been upgraded, it's unlimited." Himura had looked at him with an expressionless face but he was sure the wheels where turning. What he would need and whom he would hire?

"I'll get started right away." The redhead said blankly before he bowed and left.

Kurizuma nodded, watching the younger man leave. Everyone, well not everyone but most of the males in the building where afraid of Himura and so instead of the president talking to the redhead, it had been assigned to him the vice president of the company to have a few words with the head of security. He wondered about the man. His resume listed only the military and the PSB but really he didn't need much else. The way he took out the cult leader in front of the television crew last year, it was amazing. He hadn't noticed the cameras until it was too late. If they hadn't been transmitting live the government would surely have confiscated the tape.

He wasn't afraid of Himura but still he couldn't make himself ask him for the picture his daughter had been bothering him about. You'd think she'd be happy with that DAMN poster she'd bought herself of the redhead in his PSB uniform but no. No, she had to nag him every time he came home. One of these day. He'd find the nerve and ask him. But not today. He sighed and went back to his paper work. He still had so much work.

*************

Kenshin drove down the street leisurely. He was in no hurry to get to the hotel. He hated been cooked up in the office, he felt like he'd been there for far too long already. Sometimes he wished he'd just joined S-6 instead of retiring completely but the damn media. He scowled for a moment before the look disappeared. He had a lot to do today.

The guest list was in his pocket; he had to check everyone on it before he added them to the final list, admitting them entrance. Someone from the royal family would be attending and he needed to get in touch with them and see if they would be brining their own security or if they expected for the AKIHITO Corp. to provide that for them while in the hotel. He hoped for the first. He didn't want to have to deal with any assassination attempts. I guess it was time for him to earn that paycheck.

He parked across the street from the hotel not trusting the valet to really be valet. Sometimes he wondered if he was too suspicious. Hmm. He withdrew the keys from the ignition and stepped out. The air was dry. He hated hot days, especially when he had a suit on.

He was about to cross the street when a he caught side of black silk. He turned his body around, catching sight of the distracting object. His eyes ran up from the thick sandals to the bare legs and further up to the flimsy summer dress. A nice shade of pink if he said so himself. Her midnight hair was so long and shiny, he could see why he'd mistaken it for silk. Her cell phone went off and she paused in her walking. He couldn't hear what she was saying but she turned and he was able to see her profile. His eyes ran further up the dress over the curve of her bosom, to the nice arch of her neck and onto her face. What a lovely face. She smiled into the phone, tossing a long strand of hair over her shoulder in a flirtatious manner.

Kenshin moved away from his car and headed in her direction. He came closer, enough to hear her laughter.

"All right, talk to you later. Bye." She smiled, shook her head and continued her walk.

Kenshin came close enough to grasp her by the shoulder but fell short of doing it. He felt nervous. Something he hadn't felt in years. Still he was interested and followed her into a small cafe. She put her bags down and took a seat. He straightened and followed her in.

"It's you!"

Kenshin's' attention fleeted from the petite figure he'd been eyeing to who'd ever called out 'Oh, no.' He thought as he glanced around. Most of the cafe was filled with women.

"It is you. I have to get your photograph."

Kenshin began to back out. He stole a glance at beauty that had brought him in. She was looking at him with something akin to shock on her face. He smiled grimly. Now he wouldn't even get a chance to talk to her.

"I'll just get some water to go." He said finding the quickest excuse.

A chubby woman gave him a bottled water. "Smile," she sang before there was a flash. "Water's on me cutey." She said moving from around the counter. He noticed some of the other women were starting to get up as well. Damn the media. Most women recognized him on daily basis. He often got mobbed. Because of that he was really starting to consider dyeing his hair.

"Thank you."

He had tried to keep his voice light; instead it'd come out deep. He grabbed his bottled water and left. Running across the street and into the safety of the hotel.

He sighed in relief once he was inside the lobby. None of them had followed him. He snapped the water open, taking a drink before he headed over to the front desk.

"Himura!"

"Himura Kenshin!"

Kenshin raised his hand up, trying to placate the boy at the desk. "Yes, I need to speak with your manager or administrator."

The teenage boy nodded his head enthusiastically before he picked up the phone, talking excitedly to the other party.

"Sakano-san it's the front desk."

"Yes, it's me."

"Can you come down?"

"It's important."

"Yeah, ok."

The boy put the phone down and beamed at Kenshin. "He'll be down in just a bit. Would you like to have a seat?" The boy said moving around from counter.

Kenshin nodded.

"I'm Saiguchii Tohma but you may call me Tohma." The boy enthused as he led the redhead over to a large a small lounge.

"Thank You." Kenshin's frosty response seemed to have no affect on the boy which made Kenshin wonder. Especially because the boy didn't leave instead he took a seat across from him. "Shouldn't you watch the front desk?"

"Oh." The boy said disappointed. "Yeah, I forgot." He was reluctant to go. Tossing Kenshin a last look as he disappeared around the corner.

Kenshin looked at the bottle in his hand. What was so special about him that everywhere he went he got stared at? It must have been because everyone thought he was a hero. That pissed him off more than anything else. He'd been happy working behind the scenes. Helping people those who could not defend themselves. His mood darkened every time he thought about it.

*************

Kenshin walks into his apartment, mild annoyance etched into his features. He put the hotel's blueprint on the coffee table before he moved over to the refrigerator. It was ten at night and he hadn't even had lunch. He'd spent all day walking around the premises of the hotel. Tomorrow and for the next week he would be walking and inspecting the buildings in the surrounding area.

He already had a list of people, perfect for the job. Everyone in S-9 was trained in various arms, tactics, and techniques. So anyone on his crew could serve as a sharpshooter if need be.

He sat on his couch, drinking sake straight out of the bottle. He never really spoke to any of his coworkers. It wasn't that he didn't like them. He'd saved many of their lives. It was just he didn't consider them anything more than just coworkers. He sighed. They considered him more though.

The redheaded man stood and walked to the kitchen, tossing the empty bottle into the trash before he left. He made his way into the bedroom, tossing his shirt and pants to the side before sliding between the silky sheets. Mmm, if there was something he enjoyed it was the feel of satin sheets against his skin. It had a familiar feel but it was unlike anything or anyone he'd ever touched. The way it felt against him, it was odd. It always made him feel sensual, carnal. His senses sharpened as the feeling rose, taking control. He didn't like the voracious feeling that overcame him like an animal. He felt empowered and seductive. Erotic at times that he could I almost feel his eyes melting into gold. Something that only happened when he killed, purposely or not. It was why he didn't like bringing women to his apartment. To his bed. He didn't like the loss of control.

*************

The room was silent, immersed in obscurity, hiding a secret. Darkness fell over Kaoru's naive form as she snuggled into the comfort and warmth of her blankets. The room was dark and cold willing her . . . . coaxing her into a deep slumber. The place where her predator dwelled.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

She moved through the emptiness running in a direction she knew but could not see. He was there, waiting. Despite her blindness to direction she still went, willingly if not eagerly.

The sound of his footsteps could be and echo of her heart. She felt overwhelmed by a surge of feelings. She wanted nothing more than to be enveloped, swallowed by the shadow. Consumed.

Kaoru gasped, her heart jumping to her throat as she was embraced from behind. She never knew where he came from, just that he was there. He planted a small kiss on her neck before his mouth moved upward leaving a trail of tiny moist kisses along the way. Kaoru leaned back into the firmness of his body. Her head tilting back and exposing more of her throat to the hot seeking mouth. His lips pressed long lingering kisses over her neck. He laid and open mouth kiss on her chin making her shiver. His tongue robbed her of senses as it strayed from her chin to her mouth, licking, biting and sucking her lower lip.

He caused a deep stirring deep inside her and she wanted burn in his heat as much as she wanted to run away. To feel him as much as to burn him. To hurt him as much as to inflame him.

She fell a tug in the back of her mind and immediately she knew what it meant. She turned in his arms wanting desperately to stay. But the pulling grew insistent, wrenching her away when she resisted the tug.

_"Don't hide from me."_ The wind carried his words to her even as she faded from the dark domain.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Kaoru's eyes opened slowly. Everything was quite dark, still sometime before the break of day or so she surmised. _"You can try and hide in the dark but the shadows still now you're there." _She knew that. She wasn't trying to hide though. She'd been trying to stay.

'Kami,' how she hated the man sometimes. If she hadn't seen him in the cafe earlier she wouldn't have had such a dream. The way he'd looked at her before he'd dashed off though had almost made her melt. She sighed; she really lacked self-control. Though he was partially to blame because he really did haunt her dreams.

Hmm, not enough Battoussai. I myself can't wait for more of him. We'll see how the story flows. 

All right, as far as Kaoru's hate.

Yes, I will tell you why the past Kaoru ended up hating Kenshin. 

I think I might also have to write out the airport scene. I still don't know if I will be adding AM to this fic. I have another AU fic [present time] and that one has both KK and AM so if this one doesn't give it to you, well I'll be sure to include a lot of it in the next one. ^_^

Small Notes: Himura Kenshin was a former member of the Public Security Bureau. The PSB is a national police force used by the Ministries. It is almost military in nature and often engages in espionage and special operations. Kenshin has killed in his line of work. ( I will go into that later on. )

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Please remember that anything between these lines means _Dream Sequence._ In this chapter it was Kaoru who fell into one of her dreams.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

All right everything else I think was self explanatory but if you still have questions e-mail me. Thanks for reading.


	5. chapter 04

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Four

*************

Iwakami Toru leader of the Kagemusha, second division terrorist response unit S-9, stood firm as the transport van sped down the street. "I'm going to reiterate a couple of the basics before we get there." He said with the ever-present scowl on his face. "Takahashi Koji, leader of the cult, took the airport hostage sometimes after the last drills. Shots were fired at approximately 17:28 when airport security proceeded to interfere. The exchange of gunfire lasted less than two minutes and resulted in the death of three security guards, one policeman and a civilian."

Dark bangs fell into his eyes as the truck took a sharp turn. "He's got thirty men with him positioned at all key points. The civilians are lined up against the glass wall, or where it would be. The police shot it out." Iwakami's voice held no inflection suggesting neither disappointment nor anger.

The truck came to a stop but no one stood, they sat waiting for their commander to finish. "We have authorization to apprehend them by all means possible." His black eyes bore into everyone for a second before he nodded at them. "Let's get to it."

The unit of black clad men adjusted their guns and descended quickly. Spreading out accordingly to the directions of their leader. They crept through the now dark airport, keeping away from the light. They hid within the shadows advancing on the terrorists.

Kenshin and his group crept across the roof, signaling for the men behind him to spread out when they reached the edge. He pulled on his strap securing the rope. Then with a deep breath he jumped.

His hand unfastened the safety with the pull of a cord half way through the act. His body hurled through the glassless window landing on the floor. With a roll he was up. His gun in his hands and his finger on the trigger. He shot.

In the midst of things someone shouted. "Get down." He could here screaming and gunfire. The voices of his unit. Somewhere in the midst while his gun went off and while he rolled away from bullets. His senses sharpened, everything moved slower for him as he jumped off a chair, landing on a large desk and killing everyone hiding behind there. His movements exceeded normal speed as he threw himself on some idiot too fearful to move and hide.

His body slammed into the woman knocking them several feet away and stopping only after his body hit a long row of chairs. Then he was up again, shooting over people's head and leaping over dead bodies. His gun was the last to resonate through the room, a frightening site in the aftermath.

"Death . . . death will come . . . ."

Kenshin turned in time to see the cult leader rising and taking aim. In a split second his choice was made as he shot Takahashi dead on, right between the eyes.

He turned to the remainder of his unit and froze. A feeling of being watched crept over him. Shit. Cameras.

There were cameras.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

The sun was just rising, bringing light into the dark room waking Kenshin as rays filtered through the window settling on his eyes. He sighed angrily. Why couldn't he have plain dreams or plain nightmares for that matter? No, his mind settled on past kills, reliving events until he felt like killing someone again. It was beyond odd. It was twisted. But this airport incident, he must be reliving things again because it was so close to the date that it happened. September 1st.

Two more weeks till the date. The anniversary of the incident was approaching and he was going to be hounded again. Like before. Everywhere he went there would be media frenzy.

He was glad to be organizing the security for the gala. It would keep him busy. It took a great deal of effort and coordinating to get things done. A permit for this and a permit for that. So on and on. It was tiring but it kept him occupied.

He rose and walked over to a dresser where he pulled some sweats. Putting them on before he made his way to the bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water and then headed over to his gym.

The gym like much of his home was spacious, the equipment settled on the outside while the middle of the room remained clear.

He removed a sword from the wall, from a special holder he'd had made for it. It was odd the way he'd taken to it but it seemed like it fit. Like it was a part of him. He unsheathed it, watching the gleam on the blade before he swiped it through the air. He took the familiar stance his late uncle had taught him before he began his exercises. Fluid movements that increased speed as his mind settled. As he became one with the blade.

*************

"Fuck!" He swore loudly.

Photographers and reporters turned to the front of his building to where he stood. Swiftly moving away from the garage where they thought he'd be coming out from.

"Himura-san!"

"Can we get a picture!"

"A comment!"

The aggravate redhead moved back into the building. Why did he think that he could walk to the subway station without getting hassled? He made his way towards the garage, seeking the safety of the car.

Minutes later he sped out of the garage, tires screeching as he raced away. So close to the day, hadn't he just thought that this morning? 'Fool,' he murmured to himself.

Half and hour later he found himself honking the horn. "Out of the way!" He ordered as he roared his engine. He snatched his shades off, flinging them to the side of the car. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Idiots!"

He lowered his window; ready to yell when the car in front sped off just before the light turned red again. "Shit!" He banged his hands on the steering wheel repeatedly. He grabbed the ridge of his nose, willing the anger to simmer down. He took deep breaths, exhaling slowly, calming himself. He opened his eyes just as the light turned green. If he caught up to that car . . . .

He put his car into gear, zooming down the street. He caught up to the car in a flash just before the next red light. He pulled up beside the car this time rolling down his window. "Oi!" He yelled.

The tinted window refused to roll down though and it only served to piss him off. He roared his engine angrily and turned his face back to the road.

A curvy figure walked across the street, smiling as she chatted on the phone. The figure was dressed in form fitting dark jeans and a deep red cami. He recognized the midnight hair and the curve of the bosom.

What was it with this woman?

It was almost like they were supposed to meet. Her eyes skittered over to him and her smile disappeared as she gazed back at him. She looked at him intently making his heartbeat race.

Someone jabbed her and she turned away. Disappearing in the large crowd heading down for the subway.

The light turned and he shifted gears. This time driving down the road slowly. He licked his dry lips and began thinking back to the times he'd seen her.

He couldn't help but think that he should have followed her. If he'd been walking like he'd wanted to, he might have run into her. He felt disappointed which was odd in itself. He wasn't the type to seek attention. Though women had a tendency to seek him out.

In all the time he'd been in the army and even in S-9 he'd never dated. It wasn't until after the publicized incident that he'd begun to see women. And that was mainly because some of them were just plain unavoidable. He shook his head in annoyance. Honestly what was going with him?

Still his thoughts trailed back to the black haired beauty. She really was very attractive. And the way she'd looked at him, there'd been recognition on her features. If he ever had his chance with her . . . . .

He smiled lazily . . . . .

Predatorily.

*************

Kaoru made it to her almost tripping on some of her shopping bags as she entered. It was eight and she was just getting home. She'd spent all day shopping and she was beat. She shoved some of her buys to the side and placed others on her desk. She'd been up since five so she had reason to be tired. She wormed out of her jeans and crawled into bed. 'Food tomorrow,' she thought. 'Sleep now,' she mumbled just as her eyes closed. Her mind drifting into the abyss, warm and bright. A place where dreams were born, where lovers met and where time was of no barrier. This aperture was of a different sort, one filled with a warm haze and glittering threads. This wasn't her abyss.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

She blinked not believing her eyes.

Oni . . . .

Uruwashii-oni. His eyes glittered like burnished gold. He looked fierce, wild and she shrunk back in self-preservation. She'd always been trapped in darkness. So she didn't know his face but she knew his presence. There was no darkness around them now. It was gloomy but it was day. This time was different than all the other times' they'd met. She could see him.

His red mop of hair held up in a high ponytail, the way his bangs fell into his eyes while jagged tips adorned his face. And despite his beauty he seemed deadly.

"You've been hiding for far too long." His voice was deep and smooth. The tone alone caused a shiver to run down her spine. It frightened her and she stepped back.

"What do you mean?" She stammered.

He seemed calmed, almost amused. "You've been hiding in the shadows." He said taking a step forward.

"Nnn, I . . . . No that's not true." She argued.

"Why don't you want to see me?" He asked, his voice increasing intensity.

Kaoru opened her mouth but there were no words. She licked her lips and tried again but he cut her off.

"You come to me yet you refuse to look at me." His smile slipped as he voiced her actions. "You want me but you keep back." His eyes narrowed and he grabbed her by the wrist. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"With those eyes." His face was so close to hers she could barely breathe. "So full of anger." He said stroking a cheek with the back of his hand.

Kaoru backed away again and in response he pulled her close to him, starring into her eyes intently. "Don't," he warned in a cold tone and with hard eyes.

"I want you to let me go." She ordered with as much courage as she could muster.

"That I will never do." He said as the smile came back to his lips. "You gave yourself to me. You are mine." He said as his voice dropped an octave.

Kaoru looked at him questionably. He must be crazy. She didn't remember him. She'd never seen him before. They'd always met in the shadows. "How?" She squeaked. Cleared her throat and tried again. "I don't remember."

"Maybe it's better that way."

"No." She thought out loud. "I want answers." She said more aggressively.

The redhead frowned darkly.

"Answer me." She demanded. She felt anger and hate bubbling to the surface at his refusal. He would do as she said she was his . . . . .

His what?

The word had been there. Right at the tip of her tongue. She looked at him and suddenly a sliver of memory ran past her vision. "I am your mistress." She breathed in astonishment. "You took and oath." She said in remembrance.

"It's you who belong to me." She stated once her mind processed what she'd seen. Her dark blue eyes narrowed in anger before she spoke. "You're oath." She reminded him. "Was to remain by side till I breathed my last breath."

"Kaoru." He cut.

"No, you broke you promise. You died before me." She spat as she wretched herself away from his arms. "You lied." She accused. "Cursed in this life." She said as she looked at him with deep pools of sapphire. "You will know me." She said as she backed away a few feet. "Retribution will be mine." She sneered. She had waited so long to meet him again.

"Don't fight me." He cautioned with a cool gaze and detached façade.

"Don't repeat my own words back to me." She snapped, knowing what she'd said to him and what phrase came next.

"You will not escape the flame." He warned

He was repeating, part of what she'd said to him once. Using her own words to dissuade her from pursing this hateful vengeance. Yes, it might be true that she couldn't escape the flame . . .

"But neither will you." She promised.

This time he would know pain. Whatever it took. If it meant seducing him and marrying him. Becoming his world, she would do it. Just so she could rip it down and tear it apart. Only when he was broken would she find peace. Only when he felt like dying because she wasn't with him would they be even. Only when he felt what she'd endure in his absence. Only then would they be even.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Kaoru opened her eyes just as the sun rose over the horizon. She knew. Now she knew why he had seemed so familiar. Why she'd fantasized about him and why he'd been hidden in her dreams.

More than life and breath. That's what he'd been to her. She felt that deep seeded hate flow into her veins. How would she be able to come near him when all she felt was hate at the mere thought of him? _You cannot escape the flame._ Attraction. Oh how she knew that word. The way they'd been draw in. Like moths to a flame, willing to burn for a minute in the glow.

And they had.

The intensity of their love had ignited a passion that burned and blazed. It consumed them, melded them into a whole. That might have been the problem. What is one half good for without the other?

Kaoru shook her head violently. That was in the past. She would not allow herself to become part of the whole. She would keep her heart out of it. She would be as cold and as ruthless as her beloved once was on the battlefield.

"Himura Kenshin."

More than a memory from the past. 'My once sole purpose for being,' she thought. Seems my obsession has caught up with me once again.

Well we're getting closer to the inevitable meeting. A defining moment in time where two people, once linked by love will once again encounter one another. A meeting of chance where feelings from the present will collide with hate from the past. 

Small Notes:

He's quick to notice that perhaps those glimpses of her might mean something more. He's become intrigued with her. And already his mind is forming contingency several plans.

Kaoru for her part has been struggling along with her feelings. Lost in confusion for several months because her dreams where obscured. Now though she's found her answers. The reason for the transcending anger and deep seeded hate. She knows what she has to do and she's determined to get it right. But she fears being consumed. She was obsessed with once and though she has a different intend this time around, she's still aware that she has become obsessed again. 

Definitions

Oni: _demon_

Uruwashii: _beautiful_


	6. chapter 05

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Five

*************

Kaoru held on to her father's arm. A bit self-conscious of the dress she'd decided to wear. She stayed close as they walked into the enormous room. "They really out did themselves." She noted.

Kenji Kamiya turned his gaze away from the crowd and to his daughter. She stared around in awe at the grand scale of the social gathering. "Looks like a lot of people came after all." Kenji said leading her around various clusters of people.

Kaoru was oblivious to the heated stares she received but her father was not and he glared dangerously at those who ogled her. He'd been surprised by how beautiful she'd become. If that wasn't enough to upset his fatherly protectiveness she'd also decided on wearing something revealing. Though it had been sometime since he'd seen her in party clothes. Seems he'd forgotten her flare for fashion as well.

He greeted old colleagues before he maneuvered them towards his company's table. It was a large table and there were a lot of people. Some of them he knew while there were a lot that he did not.

"I see a lot of actors." Kaoru comment as she settled into her seat.

"Aa, The gala seems to grow larger every year. This is the largest I've seen it so far." Kenji said before taking a drink from his glass.

Kaoru toyed with her goblet, watching the liquid swirl before she took a drink. Champagne is something she'd never tasted before. It was nice. Everything in the room looked nice.

"I've been thinking about transferring."

"Papa, not this again. I'm old enough to live on my own." Kaoru said laying a hand over his. "I know you worry but you don't have to go out of your way to keep an eye on me."

"I just think it would be a good idea for me to move back here."

"Papa be honest. If I weren't here would you consider leaving your job to transfer back?" She looked at him intently.

He sighed dramatically and she smiled in return. "See." She said making her point.

"I just worry koneko."

"I know but I can take care of myself." She assured.

He nodded. It was just that now that he saw how she looked, he wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing she lived alone. What if some psycho followed her home and killed her? He'd always been afraid of his daughter ending up the same way as his late wife. And with the way his koneko looked that might be a real possibility now.

She ate her meal, happily chatting away about her scholastic plans while he listened and smiled. He had missed his little chatterbox. She hadn't changed much since she was little.

*************

The head of security hid from the throng of people. Dressed in a dark suit with a crisp white shirt and deep red tie. He stood off to the side, watching. Observing individuals within the large crowd.

"Hunter to shadow leader. Do you copy?"

He tapped his earpiece. "I copy."

"There's movement on the east wing. Possible ground unit."

The redheaded man tapped his earpiece again. "Shadow leader to Eagle eye. Move to the east wing and confirm movement." He sent a sniper to confirm before he sent a ground unit. It would be safer that way. This was just a business gala. There was no reason to think that there would be some sort of attempt tonight. Except he knew that this was a gathering of some of the largest figures in the business world as well as in entertainment.

"No one there, toorima."

The redhead scoffed. He hated that nickname. "Hunter take your unit and blend. If there's someone there you'll see them again. Don't approach before informing me of your location. Copy?"

"Copy, hunter out."

"Eagle maintain position. And inform me of any further discrepancies. Copy?" The head of security moved his finger away from the earpiece.

"Copy, eagle out."

The redhead went back to observing the crowd. Everything had been running smoothly. But there was always the chance of something going horribly wrong. Maybe he should have worn the black uniform instead. He'd had it in his hands but he'd decided on this suit at the very last second. But now he was having second thoughts.

"Himura!"

The read turned. "Kurizuma, Akihito." He greeted them.

"Splendid job on security. We were wondering if you wanted to join us at the table." Kurizuma asked.

Akihito much like Kurizuma seemed to be some where in his mid forties maybe early fifties. His hair a shade of gray darker than Kurizuma's. Much leaner as well. But also less verbal.

"Come on. There are a lot of people who would like to meet you." Kurizuma insisted.

Kenshin shook his head. "No. I have rounds."

"Do you expect something to happen?" Akihito voice was low. Someone of good breed who'd never had to yell at anyone. Well mannered and well spoken. His eyes bore in to Kenshin, asking for the truth.

"Yes. If you'll excuse me." With those last words Kenshin moved away from the two men.

He weaved through the dancing couples, veering away from groping hands at certain times. Some women.

"Excuse me." He said when he bumped into a man.

A tall, fair skinned man with deep expressive eyes turned to look at him. His dark eyes narrowed before he moved his head to the female in his arms. "Do you want to dance with him koneko?"

Kenshin frowned. That's not what he meant.

"No."

The answer surprised both men. The older man nodded and they dance away from him. When they turned Kenshin saw the woman. It was the same woman. The one he kept seeing around. Her long midnight hair was down, falling to her hips alluringly. She wore a deep red dress same color as his tie, he mused. He liked the dress very much. The back was cut low, allowing him a very nice glimpse of what he could only assume would be a smooth back.

The redhead moved off to the side again. Keeping an eye on the black haired beauty. He wanted to see the front of the dress. 'Oh,' he groaned inwardly. The front of the dress had an even better view. A deep plunging neckline held back by very tiny straps around her neck. He could have dance with that. His eyes skimmed over the curve of her hips, over the small waist and pausing on her bosom a moment before settling on her face. She laughed at something her dancing partner said. Her eyes casually settling on him, she smiled flirtatiously at him before she went back to looking at the older man.

He felt something in him churn at the provocation. She had refused him yet the way she looked at him. It confused him. Who was that man she was with? He seemed much too old for her.

*************

"Papa, that lady's been staring at you all night." Kaoru said in a hushed tone. At her word he turned his head but made no comment. "I think that maybe you should ask her to dance."

"Nonsense. You're my date." Kenji said patting her head and twirling her. She giggled and it lightened his heart.

"Let's get some dessert," Kaoru said after a while. She led him back to the table and picked up her dish. "No, papa don't sit." She laughed when he stopped mid motion. "I want to eat this outside on the balcony. It's getting too crowded in here."

He father nodded and they both left.

Kenshin watched them leave. He'd been following their movements on the dance floor for some time. Casually he stepped out of the room. He made his way out to the balcony where he was satisfied to see a not so large group of people.

He pulled a small palm pilot out of his suit pocket. Quickly reviewing his list of the more prominent figures. A picture appeared on the small screen accompanied by a name and occupation. His eyes would scan the crowd every time after the image changed.

Prince Mikasa Tomohito, the eldest son of Prince and Princess Mikasa, born in Tokyo on 5 January 1946. The prince is a first cousin of the Emperor, fifth in line to the throne and heir apparent to the house of Mikasa-no-miya.

He didn't want to take any chance. So he put the palm pilot back into his pocket and walked over to the older man. Pausing before he spoke. "You're highness." He said with a quick bow. "I'm the head of security for Akihito corp. I would suggest returning inside."

"For your own safety." Kenshin added when the prince didn't move. The prince understood and nodded. Leading the way back inside, his group right behind him.

The reflection of something made Kenshin turn. "Get down!" He roared seconds before the sky was lit with flashes of color. The crowd scurried off shrieking and wailing in an attempt to get away from the invisible threat. Thought not so invisible anymore.

"Shadow leader . . . . . on the roof . . . . unknown." There was static and the transmission didn't quite make it through.

Kenshin had rolled away from the balcony and stood just behind the glass doors. "Get back inside!" He bellowed at several people still outside on the balcony. They would get caught in the crossfire. Damn it. He crawled over to a circle of four women. Yanking one by the hand. "Stop crying. Look at me." He yelled harshly in response the woman stopped wailing and only sniffled.

"You need to follow me inside." He said pulling on the woman and began leading her back. He turned and noticed the other three weren't following him. "Get over here because I'm not coming back." He growled. They nodded and made their way over to him. A nasty rumble was followed by a large crack. He shoved them inside at the sound of another crack. His footing slid to the side. The balcony was going to collapse. "Grime clear the floor beneath the west wing. Do you copy? Clear the floor beneath the west wing."

"Shadow . . . . . gunfire . . . . heavy."

There was too much static. He jumped back inside and back to the dance floor where several clusters were still laughing and dancing unaware of what was happening. He signaled six of his men and they quickly moved to his side. "Two of you will guard the balcony. No one is allowed out. The rest of you will guard the two entrance doors in pairs. Two on each side. I want radio silence unless we are breached."

They nodded quickly and ran to their new posts

Kenshin ran around the side of the room heading for a door when it exploded open. His gun was already out and aimed.

"We have a problem."

"I know." Kenshin said lowering his gun and closing the gap between him and the newcomer. The room had gone silent, listening intently.

"There's too much interference but they're still on the floor they've split up and we caught some of them. It's those nut followers from last year."

"The ones from the airport." Kenshin said as they raced down the hall.

"Yeah, they struck right at midnight. They . . . ."

"Stop!!"

Both men looked at each other. A female scream? Everyone was still supposed to be inside, at the party.

Kaoru's fist connected with the bastard's nose then kicked him on the side of the face dropping him where he stood. A gun clicked near her head but she didn't care. No one hit her dad and got away with it. She moved to kneel at his side when the other man pulled her by the hair.

"Let me go." She hissed.

"I aught to kill you where you stand." The man said too close for her comfort. "But you're a brave little thing aren't you?" He said running the gun along her cheek. "Standing up for daddy the way you did." He drawled as he cocked the gun and leaned it against her temple.

Kaoru closed her eyes. The sound of a bullet resonated along the hall echoing in the silence. Kaoru breathed and opened her eyes. The form holding her dropped to his knees and then back to the floor.

She knelt to her father's side. "Papa." She said shaking him.

"We're in trouble if they're coming up the elevators. We have everyone on the floor looking, down below."

Kaoru turned her face upward to her rescuers. One dressed in a black uniform and the other in a suit, both with guns but only one holding his out. Her oni.

"All right we'll get them back inside. I have extra artillery I brought just incase." Kenshin said as he looked around.

"Always prepared, aren't you?"

"Hunter. " Kenshin snapped, he didn't need sarcasm right now.

"Yeah, yeah." He said shrugging. He moved towards Kaoru smiling after he checked her out. "How about I carry the girl and you carry the old man." He said to Kenshin over his shoulder.

"He's not old." Kaoru snapped. "And I will not be carried."

"Fine." Hunter said in disappointment. He picked the man up and tossed him over his shoulder. Kaoru scowled at him for mistreating her father. She watched Kenshin approach the figure she'd knocked out. He knelt by the body and bound him with something plastic he pulled out of his belt.

Kenshin picked up the body and tossed it over his shoulder in the same manner the old man had been tossed over Hunter's shoulder.

Kaoru made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat and walked along side Hunter. Kenshin walked behind them. His eyes straying to the curve of her back from time to time.

"Do you mind? Kaoru said. Hunter turned to look at her but she wasn't addressing him. She was starring straight ahead. He turned back to Kenshin, who despite the detached facade seemed to have the semblance of a ghostly smile on his face. Hunter turned back somewhat perplexed. In all the years he'd know the red head, had Toorima ever smiled? They opened the door to the gala, the sound of the party reaching their ears as they walked in.

Kaoru pulled the barbarian's sleeve leading him to the side closet where all their coats were. There was a large sofa just outside the counter.

Hunter tossed her father on the sofa like a sac of rise, earning him a vengefully glare from Kaoru. "Be careful." She warned. She turned towards the barbaric idiot but he was gone. The door they'd come in through was ajar but she couldn't hear anything. A second later the redhead stepped through the door, making his way over to the stage.

He stopped at a small side door and removed two large black duffle bags, which he carried back to where she was. Correction to where the closet was. He changed his clothes in less than a minute. Then strode out past a surprised coat checker and a silent Kaoru. He was heavily armed and undoubtedly ready to slay the imminent threat.

He hadn't changed at all.

Well there first meeting could have been longer. Raise your hand if you think the same. Yeah me too. So I went ahead and tossed something good for you in the next chapter which is being posted along with this one. I added nothing new, so there's no reason you should feel lost but if you do just e-mail me. 

_toorima_: phantom killer

_hogosha_: protector


	7. chapter 06

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Six

*************

It was ten till two when the head of security returned. He strode in past a sleeping Kaoru who'd fallen asleep sitting up while her father rested on her lap. He motioned for the guards and they moved away from their posts. Two policemen strode in after Kenshin heading to the back of the room, towards the balcony. They would be sealing it off. The people who'd been on the balcony were the only ones who really seemed ready to leave. And there weren't too many of those.

The cluster of people moved towards the front of the door. Slowly. They stepped in front of him waiting.

"If you don't wish to answer any questions tonight I suggest you write your name and number on a piece of paper. I will have Hunter take you down; the police won't bother you tonight." Kenshin assured. He received several nods and soft murmurs but all of them moved at once seeking paper and a pen.

His eyes fell back to the sleeping form on the sofa. She would need to hand over her information as well. But first he'd deal with this small band before he woke her up.

He received several pages of stationary. He counted the numbers and then the people. When he was sure he had them all he had one of his men escort them down. His name and old position carried enough weight to get these people some resting time.

No one else would need to be questioned. They had most of the offenders in custody while the rest were either on their way to the hospital or in body bags.

The gala seemed to be in mid swing. Most of them if not all of them would not know something had occurred until tomorrow when they read or saw it on the news. He'd complied with his contract, none of the guests had died or gotten hurt. He'd kept them all safe. His temper was on a short leash these days so complaints would not be welcomed neither would constructive criticism.

Kenshin walked over to the wall, leaning over the sleeping figure on the couch. "Oi." He said resting his hand on her shoulder. His hand caressed the bare shoulder before he squeezed. "Oi." He said again drawing his face slightly closer.

Twin pools of sapphire blinked at him slowly. Eyes widening at their proximity. "Move your hand." She breathed curtly. He did though it was hard to say if he was disappointed. She couldn't deal with him now. Her eyes moved to the man in her lap. "Papa." She called shaking him gently. She smooth his hair back and then shook him again.

Kenshin watched a bit irritated at her gentleness. "If you wish to avoid being questioned by the police, I'll need your names and numbers." His voice held no inflection and his eyes had gone cold.

Kaoru looked up at him, the shadow of a smile on her lips. "Name and number?" She said with a raised eyebrow. His face was a mask. But she knew the mask, very well in fact. There was only so much he could hide, especially from someone like her. They shared a bond. One that ran deep.

His eyes narrowed, feeling agitated all of a sudden.

"I think we rather get questioned," she said with disdain before she looked back down to her father. She had to remember to be nice to him she couldn't let her hate show through or she'd never get a chance. Still she didn't feel up for the challenge. Not right now anyhow. Kaoru pinched her fathers nose and covered his mouth.

Seconds later Kamiya Kenji rose startled out of sleep. His hand going to his temple as a dizzy spell over took him. His head hurt. He turned quickly looking for his daughter. Sighed in relief when he found her smiling at him. Amusement all over her features.

"You wouldn't wake up." She said grinning. "We have to give our statement to the police before we can go."

"What about the men? What happened?" Kenji asked as he sat up.

"I knocked out the guy that hit you and the second one was stopped by Kenshin." She realized her mistake in addressing the redhead with familiarity. Both her father and the redhead were looking at her intently. "Papa meet my rescuer, Himura Kenshin." She said lightly.

Kenji turned his head. Same guy from before the one who'd asked to dance with Kaoru. "Kamiya Kenji." He introduced himself after a moment. He made no move to extend his hand but then neither did the redhead.

Kenshin only nodded. The Kamiya man was very protective of his daughter. He could see why. Still he had things to do and he couldn't stick around to chitchat so with that in mind he walked off.

"Wait."

Kenshin turned back. "I have work." He said looking at the older man.

"Is there anything I can do." The words were hard to get out but he said them anyway. "For saving my daughter. I would like to show my gratitude." Honor before pride. Kenji forced the last of the words out of his mouth. He looked at Himura who's face had gone completely blank.

Kenshin looked from Kamiya Kenji to his daughter. Who for lack of a better word, seemed apprehensive. She didn't seem to like the idea of being indebted to him did she. He watched her eyes narrow. Almost like she knew what he was thinking. Kenshin forced his eyes away from the captivating beauty and back to the father. "There's no need. It's my job." With that he skirted away from them though not fast enough for his liking. She had seemed upset at his refusal. Why?

*************

"Honestly Papa, what would you have done if he'd asked for something outrageous?" Kaoru asked over breakfast the next day. She was still feeling angry at herself. And just maybe at the redhead as well. She'd been so close and she'd let her hate get in the way of her plans. So stupid. Kaoru-baka.

"He doesn't seem the type." Kenji commented.

"He seems too proud to ever take something from someone in either case." Kaoru said while she looked at the juice in her cup.

"What makes you say that?" Kenji asked, putting down his newspaper so he could look at her.

"I guess it's more of a feeling." Kaoru answered. She looked up and found her father scowling. She tilted her head wanting to meet his eyes. What had brought this on?

"Koneko, you'd tell me if you'd met someone wouldn't you?"

Kaoru laughed. He was so paranoid. "Yes papa. You'd be the first to know." She assured. She couldn't help but smile. Her father as very observant. He no doubt suspected Kenshin as the next love interest in her life. He was both wrong and right. She had an interest in him but it wouldn't be love that would make her pursue a relationship with the redhead.

Kenji's frown darkened. He couldn't help but feel there was more going on but Kaoru had never lied. So he dropped it. Still he didn't like the idea.

"It's Sunday. The only whole day you'll be here. What do you say we spent it out?" Kaoru suggested trying to break him out of his mood.

"All right." He agreed.

"We'll go to the museum," Kaoru said making her father smile. It had been the first place they'd gone out after her mother had died. She didn't really remember her mom anymore. There where pictures of course but it didn't make much of a difference. In either case her father and she had been going there every father's day ever since.

They hadn't gone this year or for the previous three for that matter. It was time they spent some nice father-daughter time.

"I'll go get dressed." She said running off.

Kenji watched amusedly. He was already dressed. True they were having breakfast but it was already past eleven soon to be twelve.

She came back moments later, dressed in a pink t-shirt. On the front it had a small black haired girl sitting on the corner of a cloud, underneath it read, 'Angel.' It was her old shirt. It's still fit, she was glad it stretched. Plus it looked good with her white mini. With a pink purse in hand and a smile on her face she announced, "I'm ready."

"Same as always then. Museum, hot dogs and then to the mall for ice cream." Kenji said as they walked down the street. Kaoru squealed in response and latched on to his hand. "That sounds like a plan."

She smiled absently as they walked, her mind already on other things. Like what she could have differently at the party. Maybe she should have agreed to dance with him. That would have been weird though. You can't try and seduced someone while your father's watching. That brought a whole new set of questions as well though. She had never tried to capture someone's attention. _They_ meaning _guys_ had either found her attractive or they hadn't.

She didn't remember enough about the past to put together how she'd captured his heart. Or how she'd lure him to her bed. Kaoru bit her lip. He was different then before of course so was she but there was something amiss. Something crucial she wasn't remembering. But what was it?

*************

Kaoru dried her hands, throwing the paper towel in the trash when she was done. She left the lady's room and headed back to her father. They were still at the museum and where had she left him?

"Umph."

Kaoru was saved from falling on her rump by strong arms with a firm hold. She smiled at her rescuer. "Funny, running into you."

Her rescuer helped her gain her balance before he let her go. Kaoru stood in front of him feeling her heart begin to race. His deep-violet gaze was cold today. Maybe because she'd been mean to him the previous nice. "Are you here by yourself?" She was less then a foot away from him, not having moved from where he set her.

"No."

A twinge of something squeezed her heart. "A date." She didn't ask, she knew. He nodded and she felt deep resentment bubble from within. There was always the chance of someone else capturing his heart. She found it hard to breath suddenly. She wouldn't be able to stand that, never that. He was hers. "Someone from last night?" She inquired in an intimate tone.

He looked at her curiously. Last night he could have sworn she had absolutely no interest in him. More than that like she despised him.

Her hand settled on his hip. She watched his expression but his mask was firmly in place. So she placed another hand on his other hip. It took one step to close the distance between them. She looked at him through her lashes his expression didn't change which made her wonder just how many women had tossed themselves at him. How many had he taken to his bed?

Her hands slid under his coat running smoothly over his back. He was warm and he smelled nice. She felt a tingling under her skin and she pressed closer, her hands digging into his back as she did. She scraped her nails down his spine and was finally satisfied to see small flecks of gold appear in his eyes. She moved back breaking all contact with his body. He grabbed her arm and she wrenched it away. "I don't like to be touched." It was a quick response and not a total lie.

"What's your name?"

"I'm surprised you don't know." She watched his expression. His name, face and presence were etched on her soul and he didn't even know her name. She turned her body around and faced him completely. "Kaoru." She conceded. "Like the Empress."

She could see the wheels turning in his head. So he had no memory of that. She tried not to frown. "I have to go." She didn't smile. She just turned and left, very aware of his eyes on her form. Her heart was still in her throat. There was something amiss. It wasn't anything concrete it was more of a feeling. They'd lived during some rough times and she'd been strict and extremely possessive of him. There were too many gaps in her memory she needed help piecing this together.

"What took you so long?"

"Sorry papa there was line." She smiled and pulled him by the arm, leading him away from the museum. She didn't want to run into Kenshin. She didn't want to think about him for a while. Her father would be leaving soon back to the states. He'd only been able to come for the gala. He had to leave almost soon after dinner. Then she'd be all alone again.

*************

Why were there three of them?

She looked at the same soul, dressed in three different types of clothes.

An ancient warrior with beautiful hip-long red hair and piercing eyes. Savage in the art of war. Oni because of the way he fought.

Slave and protector, a warrior with short black hair, dyed to keep anyone from finding out about his clan. A people of red hair and deep purple eyes. Hogosha because that's what he was bred for.

And thirdly . . . .

Same deep red hair and piercing violet eyes. A gi, hakama and sword, though there was something about that sword. Still a warrior if the sword was any indication.

Kaoru gazed intently at the third one. His face was set in the same manner as the others but he seemed different. Like he'd suffered. A wound only she could see. "Himura Kenshin." The name was the clue. The other two had existed in a different time. They didn't have last names but this last one. This one. This one's name was Himura Kenshin. This one in the gi, with long red hair. This was the one in her dreams not her Hogosha or her Oni. It was this one.

"Kaoru-dono."

Her step faltered at his voice. The familiarity pulled at her mind. She closed her eyes as things shifted. As everything darkened.

A fight. She looked on apprehensively.

His glittering eyes shone in the darkness. He turned the blade. He was going to kill.

"Battoussai."

She gasped, her skin crawled with recognition. Kami no wonder things hadn't made sense.

Not where near where I wanted to end, believe me, but I write so much my hand cramps up which is why I don't write 20+ pages per chapter anymore. Still I'm hoping to get my hands on this software where all I have to do is talk and the program will type what I'm saying. That would be nice cause my wrist is killing me, still I've already started chapter seven. Not to worry. I'll try real hard to post every Friday, that way you guys don't waste your time checking every day. 

Small Notes: All I have to clear up is why there's three of them.

01. Dark Times: Blood Bonds

The first in the AU series. Kenshin looks just slightly different. He's an ancient warrior with beautiful hip-long red hair and piercing eyes. Savage in the art of war. Oni because of the way he fought. (Oni means demon.)

02. The impious Empress

Second fic in the AU series. Kenshin looks a lot different in the beginning. Short black hair with long bangs that at times cover his eyes. In this life he's been born a slave, warrior and protector to the empress. Hogosha because that's what he was bred for. (Hogosha means protector.)

03.

Deep red hair, piercing violet eyes and a cross shaped scar. A warrior born out of necessity. To protect those who could not otherwise help themselves. To protect, he stained his hands. Someone from the shadows, The Hitokiri Battoussai. (Hitokiri Battoussai translates to master assassin. I hate the word manslayer.)

She'd dreaming by the way, here at the end. It's the only way she'd be able to see them. As for the other fics not being done. My hand HURTS. please be patient. I have several works started but nothing I can finish.

Thanks for reading and e-mail me if you have questions, just be sure to include your email address, alright. Good. 


	8. chapter 07

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Seven

*************

Kaoru jerked awake.

Early morning light filtered into the room, removing only some of the many shadows. She shivered not really aware if it was a result of the morning air or something else. An overwhelming sentiment came over her and she knew she needed help. This haunting feeling. She could eventually piece everything together if she had enough time. But she didn't want to wait. It could be a whole lifetime before she understood everything meanwhile she would go insane fighting desire and loathing.

"Battoussai."

She stood on shaky legs and made her way to the closet. Putting on the first items she could find. She grabbed a near by sweatshirt and headed out the door. A moment later she came back. She dashed into her room and after a moment, emerged with her purse.

She jogged down the street. She had a faint idea where she needed to go. She ran into the subway somewhat relieved by lack of people. The hum of the speeding car droned on easing her tension as she was taken away. Hopefully to a place where she could get some answers.

An hour later she found herself walking down some of the older Tokyo streets. The entire atmosphere reeked of tradition and something else. Old magic perhaps. The market place she imagined must have looked exactly the same during the Meiji era.

She poked her head into a shop. She didn't understand why she'd picked this one. It gave her the creepiest feeling yet her largest hope lay here. She sighed and walked in.

"Good morning child."

"Good morning," Kaoru greeted as she entered. "I was wondering. Your sign . . .it." Kaoru trailed off. "I was wondering if you could tell me about my past."

The older woman smiled in understanding. "Come with me."

Together they walked to the back, to another room. "Lin watch the front." The older woman called out. Kaoru turned trying to catch a glimpse of the other person in the shop but she didn't see anyone.

"Have a seat."

Kaoru sat on a dark cushion. Watching the older woman as she moved around. The older woman seemed to be in her early sixties. Beautiful black hair with two thick white streaks on the front. It suited her.

Kaoru frowned as objects were placed in front of her. A large silver bowl, a pitcher of water, a knife and some herbs.

The older woman sat across from Kaoru. Her eyes, Kaoru noticed were and odd shade of green.

"Your hand child."

Kaoru complied and handed her left hand to the older woman. The woman held her hand a moment before she looked at her palm. She studied for a moment before she spoke. "Exactly what do you wish to ask?" The woman gaze bore into Kaoru.

"I want to know what happened in a past life. Why I feel hatred for a particular individual." Kaoru's frown deepened as she said it.

"He has been with you in every life, child. You must be more specific."

"Why do I hate him, then?" Kaoru said a bit impatiently.

"You know the reason why. What you want to know is how you went from love to hate. Better yet why it follows you now that you've met him again." The older woman paused at Kaoru's dumbfounded expression. "I will need some of your blood to get a better picture."

Kaoru nodded and the woman cut her palm. It stung but the pain was lessened at the thought of getting answers.

Her blood dripped into the water inside the bowl. The old woman began to chant quietly at first. In response her blood swirled around the bowl. The old woman dropped some herbs into the bowl chanting a bit louder. Kaoru's head perked up at recognizing two of the words, Oni and Hogosha.

The water in the bowl turned transparent. Kaoru's blue eyes widened. Her blood and the herbs were gone. The old woman looked intently at the water before she looked at Kaoru.

"You will need to see." The woman dabbed her forefinger in her Kaoru cupped palm, in her blood. "Close your eyes." She commanded. When Kaoru complied she placed a dot on each of her lids and then trailed a finger down her cheeks. She chanted and the spoke, "Look into the bowl."

Kaoru saw him. He was wearing a pinkish gi. He looked concerned. "I can't hear." Kaoru mumbled.

"We would need more blood."

"That's fine," Kaoru granted. A second later she felt a stabbing pain on her right hand then a prickling sensation on her ears. There was a chant, which seemed to grow fainter as the image in the bowl became clearer. Soon she could hear.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

"I can't."

"Che, Kenshin you worry too much. JouChan can take care of herself." The ex-gangster said trying to sway his friend.

Kenshin's face remained blank and unresponsive.

"Suit yourself then." With that last remark he left. He walked down the street with his hands in his pockets whistling distractedly.

"JouChan?"

"Morning." Kaoru mumbled. She looked sleepy like she'd just tumbled out of bed.

Sano frowned and turned back to the dojo. Walking beside her as she entered the Kamiya property.

"Morning Kenshin." She said smiling at the redhead. She sensed his unease though she couldn't fathom why.

"Weren't you leaving, Sano." Kenshin gaze didn't leave the sight of her. "Yeah, all right." Sano got the hint and scurried off. "Where you out all night?" Kenshin asked after an awkward silence.

Kaoru's mouth fell open. "I - I stayed at the other Dojo" She stuttered.

His face was a complete blank and it frightened her to seem him that way, so unlike her rurouni. He was upset. "Are you all right Kenshin?"

"Go to bed." His tone, like his gaze was cold and it was upsetting her. She had done nothing to merit this kind of behavior from him. "I'm not tired Kenshin." She said stubbornly.

He didn't say anything else, just turned his back to her and went back inside. Kaoru chewed on her lower lip briefly before she followed suit. Heading for the kitchen where she knew he'd go.

His back was stiff. She could tell he sensed her. "What's wrong Kenshin." He didn't respond to her instead he began to cut vegetables, drowning out her voice and other questions.

"Kenshin," she said pulling on his arm to get his attention. The knife stopped cutting and he looked at her. His amber eyes glittered angrily at her.

"Battoussai," she almost stumbled back in her haste to get away from him.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Kaoru felt the sense being pulled out of herself. When she blinked she was at the shop. "That wasn't enough. It isn't even what I want to know."

"You saw what your heart desired to see. You control the vision." The older woman said.

"So he reverted back," Kaoru thought out loud. As curious as she was it wasn't why she was here. " Why do I hate him?"

"Because you loved him so much that when he died it tore you to shreds. It made you angry and bitter: a feeling that's followed you all the way to this life."

Kaoru sat silent for a moment. What was the point of this? Didn't she know all of this already? It was the softer feelings in her hear that were conflicting with her actions. "I hate him. I want to hate him." She thought stubbornly. He caused me a great pain and I don't love him so that shouldn't interfere with this life. "Do you have anything to repress dreams?"

"Are you sure you want to repress them?"

"Yes, I don't want to dream about him anymore. I know enough." That wasn't the entire truth and she knew it. She didn't want to dream about the rurouni or the battoussai because she didn't want to fall in love with him.

"This will take an hour or so. I will give you a potion that will induce sleep and cast a spell over you while you slumber. It should block everything from the past. I'm also going to give you a charm, which you must carry at all times. It will reinforce the spell." The woman looked thoughtful for a moment. She hesitated before she spoke again. "The love between you two, it transcends death. You realized that in your first life with him. If you want, I could make you a love potion. It would serve to shield you from the hate until real love blossoms.

Kaoru looked almost murderous at the suggestion. "No. I don't want to love him. I want to hurt him, to make him suffer. Make your potion. I want the past suppressed before it can inflict anymore damage."

The older woman nodded as set out to work.

*************

Kaoru held on to the book carefully. The older woman had bandaged her hands but they still hurt. She hadn't realized how deep the cuts were; still the old woman had said that the ointment on her hands would help with the scarring.

How could I not fall in love with you.

She looked through it finding some of the chapters interesting unfortunately it's not what she was looking for. She hesitantly put the book down, making a mental note to come back for it when this was all over with.

She looked through rows and rows of books. Why had she wanted to come in here?

"Umph."

She looked up, somewhat surprised to see blue-violet eyes. She smiled at her luck. "We've got to stop meeting like this."

He let her go and bent over to get her book. He caught a glimpse of the cover as picked it up. 'Dream Catcher,' he'd never hear of it. He looked her over as he handed her the book, making no comment on the bandaged hands. "New?" He said touching the bracelet on her wrist. Sliding his finger down and over the top of her hand.

To her dismay and utter shame her skin broke into goose bumps. She cursed inwardly; she shouldn't have taken her sweatshirt off. "It's a charm bracelet." She said automatically. "I'm surprised you noticed." And she was. She'd never thought he'd really paid attention to her, rather looked at her that closely.

"I noticed."

She felt awkward, standing here in the middle of the bookstore. "So no date today?" She said moving her gaze away from his eyes.

"No date." He affirmed as he studied her. He'd been thinking about her since the gala the night before last. The encounter he'd had with her yesterday had left him distracted, so much his date had noticed.

"What are you doing here?"

Her voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Meeting someone." He responded. She frowned and though he usually didn't do it he did elaborate this time. "Job offer."

She smiled. "At a bookstore."

"Aa."

She nodded, a little self-conscious now. He kept starring and he wasn't saying much. She would have worn something more eye catching had she known she'd be seeing him. "You have very intense eyes you know that," she said as she side stepped him. His left eyebrow rose a fraction of a centimeter. She smiled disarmingly and he fell into step with her, walking to the front of the store where she paid for her book.

"So what are you doing today?" She said looking sideways at him. "Aside from skipping work I mean."

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly. "Day off."

"I see Monday's off, Can I get a job there." She tossed playfully as they walked down the street. She saw a strange look appear on his face before it quickly disappeared.

"I can arrange it."

Her mouth fell slightly open; she was surprised by the quick response. His willingness to assist. She turned away. She didn't really want to work with him. Everyday she would see him. Her mouth turned into a small pout. "You're with Akihito Corp." She thought out loud. "What would I do there?"

"Secretary work," he offered watching the expression on her face.

Kaoru thought about it. I mean she wasn't doing anything but planning. "I don't know." She said looking doubtful. She looked to him for a sort of guidance or other helpful thoughts. But his face was blank, devoid of anything he might have been thinking.

"How about an early dinner." Kaoru suggested as they turned the corner. He accepted, she knew he would. Together they walked into a small restaurant not too far from her home.

They sat in a booth opposite each other. American style food would be nice for a first date.

"I saw picture of you in the newspaper Sunday." Kaoru commented once they'd ordered. His mouth settled into a firm line at the mention of the media. "Why the hostile face."

Because they're fucking vultures, he thought darkly. Good for nothing bastards. Still he kept his thoughts to himself. "All they do is interfere." He voiced a bit too abrasively. He couldn't help himself though he hated the lot.

"They do see to have a fondness for you." She noted. Her elbows lay on the table while her hands laced as they were covered her mouth and hid her smile. "Must be cause you're so beautiful."

The waiter interrupted then, brining their food to the table. Kaoru avoided eye contact with her date. Instead she smiled gratefully at the waiter making the younger boy flush in embarrassment.

"So tell me about this job offer." Kaoru said once they were eating.

He seemed reluctant to talk.

"Come on," she coaxed. "You worked for the PSB right and if you had to go meet someone in a public place that could only mean that it was someone you didn't trust too much. So the job they offered you must have been of some significance."

"You're very observant." He noted somewhat suspiciously now.

She smiled. "I guess you didn't expect me to be smart." She countered.

"That's not what I meant."

"Really cause that's how you said it." She looked at him with dark humor in her eyes. They were both silent after that.

*************

The walk back to the her house was 'peculiar.' Evening had settled and the warm autumn breeze stirred.

She had to admit she liked his hair better when it was up in a high ponytail. The black trousers and midnight colored shirt he wore made him look very delectable. She bit her lip and wondered just how many of his old instincts he still retained.

"Has anyone ever called you battoussai?"

He looked at her trying to read what she could mean by that. "NO."

It was hard to say if he was lying or not. Though if she had to guess she would say that he was. "So what time do you get off tomorrow?"

"Six."

"So . . ." She drawled.

He looked at her with a blank face.

What she saw was confusion very well hidden. "This is where you ask me out to dinner?"

He smiled at that. Something very rare indeed. "Do you want to?"

"If you insist." She smiled brightly. They reached the front of her house and she was somewhat relieved. Though only somewhat. "You know," she drawled at the top of the steps. "I never kiss on the first date." She bent her head and kissed him lightly, nothing more then a gentle press of the lips. Still the sensation sparked something in her and she pulled back to look at his face. "But I think I'll make an exception for you." She bent down again dropping her book as she took his face into her hands. She kissed him. Forcefully and possessively. A long time kiss for old time souls.

Small Note: Nothing new . . . . .

She's had her dreams repressed in order to keep a handle on her hate. A chance meeting at the bookstore has given her the opportunity to spend the afternoon with him. A chance to get her plan underway. Still the struggle persists and it's obvious when she kisses him. Perhaps repressing her dreams had not been enough. 


	9. chapter 08

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Eight

*************

Kaoru lay on her bed. Wide-awake at what? She turned her head and looked at the clock. At three in the morning. She kept thinking about why she'd kissed him. Why had she kissed him? She'd jerked away when his arm had snaked around her waist attempting to pull her closer. She was confused by her actions. She should be embarrassed but she couldn't find it in herself to be so.

She would be going out with him later in the day. He would most likely be wearing a nice suit so she had to look nice.

She'd brushed her teeth for close to half an hour. She'd been desperate to rid herself of the taste of him. But it lingered long after the man had left. Her once beloved had been right. She needed to tread carefully or the flame would consume her as well. Even now, a whole life time after, he still sparked that something in her. Though it was faint now she was afraid of what it could do. Embers grow.

*************

Concupiscence, she'd woken the feeling with the press of her lips. The kiss that ensued had to some extent taken him by surprise. Desire had flared and he'd almost become lost if not for her jerking away. His first instinct had been to grab her and pull her back. But he was well conditioned and his thoughts as well as some of his darker instincts were carefully controlled. The wants of his darker half never got out of hand. His nature was not like anyone he'd ever met.

His cool facade and detachment had started rumors when he first began working in S-9. After his first kill he'd earned himself the nickname _toorima_. A name he despised.

Kenshin turned on his side trying to get comfortable. It was five am. He had an hour and half before he had to get up. He closed his eyes in hopes of deceiving his conscious, tricking it into falling asleep.

Minutes later he opened his eyes knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep. He got up and walked to his gym. He would mediate.

Deep meditation, a type of self-hypnosis; it would served the same purpose as sleep. This way he wouldn't pull a gun on someone for merely looking at him funny.

*************

Kaoru's eyes snapped open. Her head quickly turned to the clock. Eleven till twelve; she had plenty of time to get ready. She got out of bed wondering if she should work out first then bathe or just bathe and begin getting ready.

They hadn't really said what time he was picking her up but she assumed it would be after six. That gave her time to work out then.

She dressed and headed towards the gym. Thoughts about canceling still plagued her though not as much as they had the night before. She was just nervous. That was all. It'd been years since she'd kissed a boy and so now what with Kenshin and all. She was just nervous.

So to ease her mind she would pretend she hadn't done it. It was just that simple. She nodded her head in affirmation before she began her work out.

She had to be smart.

It was obvious he didn't spend more than a couple of weeks with a woman so she had to play this right. She had to make him yearn for her company. She wasn't sure how.

Suddenly she stopped on the treadmill. Damn it! That's why she'd gone to the shop. She'd been trying to remember how she'd caught his attention, his heart. Luring him to her bed didn't seem like such a big task anymore the problem would be his heart. She began running again, pondering on what to do.

Kaoru turned in front of the long mirror. She'd gone on an emergency-shopping trip when she found she had nothing to wear on her first official date with him. Though truth be told this was their second date. She counted yesterday as their first.

Maybe she shouldn't wear black. She took the dress off and put the pink one back on. It looked too childish. He would think she was much too young. She pulled the dress off and stepped back to look at her choices. The crimson one was by her favorite though it was much to risque. Blue, pink or green. She thought for a moment before she dug through her closet. She pulled a white dress out of her closet. It was long white silk. This dress was similar to the red dress she'd worn to the gala except for the front. This dress while it allowed a nice view from the front it didn't over expose anything. She turned several times in the dress. Was this really her last choice?

The doorbell rang and her head jerked away from the mirror. It was exactly six. It couldn't be him still she took a couple of seconds to sprits some perfume and to apply her lipstick. Her hair was down but it didn't matter she didn't have any more time. She grabbed her purse and ran out of her room. Slowing her pace when he reached the outside hall otherwise he'd hear her running and she didn't want him to think that she was eager. Because she wasn't.

She stopped herself from biting her lip, red lipstick smeared like no other. She composed herself and opened the door.

Kenshin eyes roamed over her without thought. He'd been preparing himself for what she might look like all day. Deep down he'd hoped she wouldn't look too beautiful. Seems he'd hoped for too much.

"You look nice," she noted.

He nodded and forced a reply, "You too." He was casual when speaking with her still he had the feeling she could almost see what he was thinking or in this case trying not to think.

She smiled and moved past him once she'd locked the door. He put his hand on the small of her back leading her towards his car. Silk, she just had to wear silk didn't she. He tried very hard not to rub the material like he often did his bed sheets. He opened the door for her. Noting the front of her dress as she sat down. He took a deep breath as he walked around, to his side of the car. He had the sense of restlessness when he was close to her sometimes. He strapped himself in before turning the car on. She had such an innocent face a contrast to her audacious nature and forward personality. His eyes focused on the road though his thoughts still lingered. She looked almost sinful in white.

His car roared as he drove through the streets. She was quiet now watching the scenery as they sped by. His head looked forward at the road as he avoided hitting slow cars. Still from time to time, out of the corner of his eye he could see the curve of her bosom rise as he avoided yet another car. Was he doing this on purpose, maybe. Scaring her seemed to give him a sense of power. Something he seemed to lack when in her presence.

The car stopped in front of a restaurant. He had planned on a club but she looked much too elegant in that dress to be dancing around. Though it would have been nice to see her try. He smiled inwardly.

The valet opened the door for her, his eyes dropping to her chest as he helped her out.

Kenshin's blue-violet eyes narrowed in annoyance. Another reason to hate valet. "The keys." He offered the idiotic teenage boy who at the moment seemed too transfixed by his date to notice he'd walked around. He put a hand on the boy's shoulder. Applying pressure as he pulled the boy back without drawing attention to himself. "Are in the car." His voice had dropped several degrees and only now did the boy turn to look at him.

His arm slipped around her waist as he led her inside the restaurant. He was behaving strange tonight. It was probably because he hadn't slept at all last night. Still he had this vexing feeling that maybe it was she who affected him. He put the thought aside as they were shown to their table.

*************

"I didn't expect you at six." She said placing her wineglass down.

She really was observant, he thought as he glanced at her. "I left early." He responded offhandedly.

"Yeah, I kind of figured." She smiled a bit. "So how was work?"

"Boring."

"Really the sense I got from the business community was that it would be exciting. My father took me to work with him once back when I was small. It was great. I saw him wheeling and dealing."

He watched her. She really loved her father you could see it in the way she spoke about him and the way her face lit up. "Is it just you and him?" He asked, curiosity loosening his tongue.

"Yeah, been him and me for as long as I can remember my mom died when I was young." Her smiled slipped slightly. She cleared her throat and changed the subject. "So tell me about the PSB, that's a place I'd like to work at. You guys are like spies right?

Kenshin only nodded.

"Is it like the movies? Did you ever get to go to another country while on assignment?" She was genuinely interested in his previous job.

"I can't say."

A secretive smile appeared on her face. "I guess that means you'll tell me later."

He didn't comment though her response did intrigue him. He was sure she couldn't get the information out of him and why would he willingly tell her.

"Kenshin," she sighed his name. "What are we going to talk about?"

He was confused by the confrontation.

"Well I guess we can avoid talking about your past for the time being. I mean this is our first date and all." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "So how many girlfriends have you had?"

The wine he'd been swallowing seemed to take a wrong turn then, threatening to come back up. He composed himself tossing her a narrowed look. She smiled wickedly at him in response.

"The PSB was just a job . . . . . . ." He began.

*************

A blowing breeze stirred his hair as he got out of the car and walked around to her side. He opened the car door for her, grasping her hand and helping her out. The meal had been interesting. Her tactics surprised him in that she'd actually gotten him to talk. Silently, they walked to the front of her home. Again he stood one step below her, waiting.

Kaoru swallowed her nervousness. She'd already done this. She didn't have to be nervous. They both stopped when they reached the porch. He halted on the step below the top of the stairs.

"I had a nice time." She said softly if not shyly.

"Me too."

She looked down at his face. He looked so young. Her right hand wove itself into his bangs. Moving them aside so she could see into his eyes. His eyes where well guarded. They should be, she thought sadly. The feeling served only in fueling her inner turmoil.

Without warning she bent over and kissed him. Wishing she could crush him the way she crushed her weak sentiments. She kissed roughly as anger worked into her blood. His arm slid around her waist and she fought the reflex to flinch, to get away.

She pulled her face away from him just as suddenly. She licked her lips drawing his attention to them. She took a breath somehow sounding regretful.

"Are you busy Saturday?" She said moving strands out of his eyes.

"No." He rasped huskily.

"We can meet for lunch then. I'll see you at the bookstore, ten am." She gave him a long lingering kiss. Pulling away from his reluctant hold. She only smiled when he nodded.

She made quick work of opening her door. Dropping her smile once, safely inside. She took her shoes of by the door, her hand gliding along the wall as she made her way to the bathroom. Tears clouded her vision. She stumbled to the toilet where she began to heave. Tears rolled down her cheeks in between sobbing and throwing up.

She hated him.

She hated him so much. She feared he would get to her before she got to him. If that happened, it would mean that it would come down to whom ever possessed the strongest will. Loathing and desire battled for her peace of mind, only one could win. It was more than just about him now. She was doing this for herself, to get rid of the anger and the overwhelming hate. To go back to how she was. A vile taste rose in her throat and she heaved again. She heaved until it hurt her throat. She despised him with her whole heart. It was all his fault, all this hurt inside of her. It was all his fault. He deserved what he got.

She rose to her feet feeling a sense of instability. She took rest against the sink. Avoiding her reflection as she washed her face and then her teeth.

She swayed as she walked over to her father's room. She crept into the room feeling a sense of wrongness. There were many reasons for feeling that way but it was mainly because she went over to the mini-bar. She removed a big bottle of whisky he kept there. She would replace it with a new one tomorrow when she went to buy her own.

She dragged her feet to her own room, sitting on her mattress surrounded by so many things from her past. She began to cry. She opened the bottle and took a swig feeling the liquid burning her already sensitive throat. She hadn't bothered with the light so everything was dark. She took another swig closing her eyes this time as a dizzy spell passed.

Why did things have to be so complicated?

She was sure she'd never been this confused before. She would have loved to have her mind erased if she could but never while knowing that he was out there, living. She took a large drink from her bottle.

She just couldn't find peace. And she was afraid that she might not in this life. So what is there but death if that's the only place where I can find it. She took another swing, this time setting the bottle on her nightstand. "I only want peace of mind," she thought as more tears clouded her vision. She lay back feeling too heavy all to suddenly. She welcomed the alcohol-induced slumber as it rose around her.

I like the kissing scenes which is why I like the beginning of chapter nine. I debated whether posting a small preview but in the end I decided against it. Sorry. Anyhow I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Things are moving along and at the moment there are no obstacle other than her conflicting emotions. It didn't seem like too much of stretch for her to feel that way. 

I watched a movie once where the woman killed herself because she came to the point where she couldn't live with who she was and whom she used to be. Very sad.

Small Notes: Embers grow and flames blaze in the burning haze of desire.

Kaoru still struggles with conflicting feelings. Though her hate is strong and it's what gets her past moments of weakness. Moments of confusion and doubt.

Kenshin, it seems that despite his cold eyes and controlled manner is being swayed to her will. Something in Kaoru pulls at him. Something unknown and intriguing. His nickname _Toorima_ translates to phantom killer.

I believe that's all I needed to review. Thanks for reading, be sure to review. 


	10. chapter 09

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  
  


Chapter Nine

*************

Five weeks and ten dates later. Kaoru was backed against the wall of her front porch. Her arms were around his shoulders, holding him close to her as they kissed goodnight. Her rage had simply seeped away, stolen by his kiss.

He pressed closer, crushing her to the wall as he devoured her lips. He liked the feel of her body. He wanted nothing more than to taste and to touch the skin underneath but there were strong restraints on his lust. Restraints that kept him from ravishing her. Still he relished in the closeness they now shared. The way their bodies touched in all the right places.

Her hands fisted themselves in the material of his jacket, crumpling the suit as she tried to push away. She gasped for breath when he released her lips. Leaving her panting as he moved his mouth along side her jaw and to her neck. He nuzzled her neck before his tongue darted out creating a moist trail to her earlobe.

Kaoru blinked desperately trying to regain focus. She bit her lip hard when she felt him sucking on the sensitive lobe.

"Kenshin." She rasped. "I- I have to go."

It took a couple of seconds to understand what she was saying. His ability to think had been temporarily hindered by a dark almost primal concupiscence. He pulled back to see her face. It made him glad to see she was flushed. Her eyes were dark and dazed but not glazed as he'd expected them to be. Her lips were stained a cherry color, bruised from the their kissing and his biting.

"My dad's calling me to night." She said in a clearer voice.

He sighed inwardly, then nodded. Why couldn't his presence affect her the way it did other woman? His arms were still on her waist holding her still.

"Saturday, you can come over." She said watching his eyes carefully. They hadn't changed from their blue-violet hue. Why hadn't they changed? "We can spend the day in, watching movies and eating take out." She hated that his face was blank. She licked her lips drawing his attention. He leaned in and kissed her. A gentle brushing of the lips until he tipped her head back and deepened it.

She allowed the kiss hoping it was enough to get him to agree. When they pulled apart she ducked her head. Placing it against his chest, she could hear the beating of his heart. "Saturday." She reminded him.

"Aa." He agreed resting his chin on her head. No woman had ever made him wait; usually they just tossed themselves at him. Sleeping with him right away. He still remembered the one who'd snuck into his car.

She pulled her head up, smiling brightly at his acceptance. "I'll see you then." She said, pulling her arms back from around his neck. His hands dropped to his sides, letting her escape. He nodded watching as she moved away from him.

Kaoru walked away deep in thought. She opened her door quickly. Closing it in the same fashion, she took her shoes off and headed towards the bathroom. She walked to the sink and turned the faucet water on. She ran it until the water was warm. Nights were getting longer as the weather began to change. She could no longer avoid inviting him into her home. This Saturday would be the first time he set foot into her house. Troubling, as the thought was she knew it was inevitable. Sooner or later this relationship would have to be moved to the next step. A phase in the game she wasn't sure she was ready to meet head on. Not just yet anyways.

The water was lukewarm and it helped as she scrubbed her skin with the washcloth. She had to get clean. She needed to be clean. Her hands worked vigorously over her arms, face and neck. She stopped when her skin was red and raw. Every where they'd touched, it was clean now. She washed her face and her teeth and headed off to her bedroom.

She blocked out her thoughts as best she could. She striped out of her dress and began getting ready for bed. This part of the evening ranged from, crying to vomiting, from drinking to washing or having a fit. Fits of rage where a rarity amongst her moods though probably because the only two times she'd done them she'd ended up hurting herself not purposely of course. She meant no harm to herself only to Kenshin.

Today however she was just going to lay down. Exhausted as she was, she knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep without a little help. Too much to deal with. It would keep her up. So she took two sleeping pills and washed them down with a bit of water. Anything for sleep.

She was tired. Pretending was draining not just physically but emotionally as well. Still it was necessary and she knew it, which is why she did it. She had a lot to do before he came over Saturday so that only gave her two days to do it in.

She had to fix the guestroom to look like her new bedroom, which meant she had to go shopping. She had to get everything from new drapes to a new bed. Plus she had to go back to the shop. There was something she needed to see. All in all, she had her work cut out for her.

*************

Kaoru walked into the store and all she could see as far as the eye could reach were rows and rows of beds. All along the walls and in the middle of the room, nothing but beds. She'd never been to this kind of store since she'd never had to buy a bed before.

She walked around nervously she knew why she was buying a bed. Yet she couldn't bring herself to think about it right now. Her eyes settled on a simple dark cheery stained sled bed and since she didn't want to be here more than was really necessary she decided that she'd found her bed. She walked over to the salesman and asked to have the bed delivered to her home. Queen size just like the floor model.

Having paid for the bed she was now free to go and look for other furniture. For that though she'd go to the department store. She'd save time by going there. She needed a comforter and blankets. Drapes, blinds, frames and pillows. She also needed several new outfits. She sighed as she crossed the street. She'd gone out of the way to avoid seeing him, traveling all the way to Yokohama. She'd be taking a taxi home as well since she couldn't walk around with all her purchases.

Today had been deigned a shopping day, that's what she'd do all morning. Later her things would be delivered and she'd have to be home so she could redecorate. The guest room would really have to look like her room plus she still had to strip her own room bare. He couldn't suspect anything.

Was she really buying all this to throw away?

Yes, there was no way she would actually take him to her real bed. New blankets because she wouldn't be able to wash them afterwards she expected to be emotionally unavailable after they'd . . . . they'd been together.

The thought made a knot in her stomach. It would be best not to think about it. She could already feel the vile taste in the back of her throat as her breakfast threatened to come back up. She swallowed and turned her thoughts away. She would only think about her purchases while she was out. She'd save the heaving till she got home. With that running thought in her mind she walked into the mall. The cool air of the air conditioners greeted her as she opened the door and stepped through.

*************

It was midnight and she was only now getting the furniture into their proper places. She never knew redecorating would be so hard. She rubbed the back of her arm over her forehead clearing off the perspiration that'd build up. You think she would be tired.

She walked over to one of the new nightstands, deep cherry colored just like the bed; she smiled and reached for a slice of pizza. She munched on it happily as she examined the room. Blinds and drapes check. Furniture, check. What else did she need?

Hmm.

Nick, nacks and her clothes. The dressier stuff like all her going out clothes would come to this closet while the other stuff stayed in the other. All the lingerie she'd bought would be placed into these dressers. She took up another piece of pizza and walked out of the guestroom and back into her own.

Everything from on top of the bookshelves, dressers, nightstands and desk would all be moved to the guestroom. That was a lot of work, at least two more hours worth. She sighed sadly and cleaned her hands on the back of her pants.

*************

No one could say she wasn't dedicated. Her hair swung out as she ran down the stairs, attempting to catch the train that would take her to the shop. She reached the bottom of the stairs glad to seen the train coming to a stop. She rushed on, breathing in relief only once she was inside. She slumped into one of the seats and closed her eyes. A large yawn escaped her as she relaxed. She'd gone to sleep at two something and she'd woken up only twenty minutes ago.

She yawned again. It was seven ten or something close to that, she was sure it would be a while before she got to the shop and she still had stuff to do. She had to rent the movies they would watch and she had to move her clothes over to the guestroom. The image of him crying over her is what kept her going. It drove her on, willing her past the squeamishness and self-doubt. A slight rephrasing of an old saying popped into her head. _Do onto others, as you want done onto you. _Well he'd already had his shot at obliterating her heart so this lifetime was her turn.

*************

Kaoru sat on the dark cushion, her hands bleeding into the bowl. Her eyes were glazed over as she concentrated on a specific moment in time. Not to her past life but the one before that. Where she'd been an empress and rurouni had been nothing more than a slave. Born to protect and to follow her every whim. A different time and place. Impious they'd called her. That was just another word for wicked. A nice word for evil maybe. And so she had been . . . . .

She stood with the whip in her hands. Her eyes, intent on the red welts on his back. She'd hit him hard enough to hurt but not to break the skin. Though he wouldn't be able to sleep on his back for a week or so.

She waved off the other guards that had chained him. She moved to the front of him and lifted his head by the hair. Deep pools of amethyst absorbed her piercing gaze, glittering rebelliously.

"It hurt me to do that to you." She said softly, though whether she meant it or not, she wasn't sure yet.

He however didn't respond. His face was a complete mask. Only his eyes burned, which meant he was very angry. She smiled at him. "Now you will do as I say." She leaned in to kiss him but he jerked his head away.

Anger bubbled into her blood and she drew back, her whip ripped into the air the same as it did into his flesh. She was very skilled with it and knew what kind of pressure would do either the most or least amount of damage.

She'd caught the left corner of both bottom and top lip. Blood dripped from the gash. Though he'd been startled she was sure, the feeling didn't show on his face. She stepped back to him, watching the blood dripping onto his chest before she grabbed him by the hair again. "Do as I say." She felt him struggling against his bonds but he didn't jerk his face away. She pressed her lips against his slowly and frowned when he didn't respond. She stepped away from him and he spat out to the side.

"Cruel, it is then."

The sound of her voice broke the silence before the sound of her whip filled the air. Her whip tore through the flesh of his chest until her hand hurt. She felt a stinging sensation behind her lids and she fought against the urge to break down. She was his mistress and he was the slave. He lived to serve. He lived for her. She gripped the whip tight in her hand; her face was pale and tight with anger.

His eyes were like liquid metal when she approached. She jerked his head up hard no longer caring whether she hurt him. "Wretched slave," she hissed and licked his face lewdly, causing flecks of gold to appear in his beautiful eyes. As if to make up for the insult she kissed him gently, coaxingly. She sucked on his lower lip willing him to admit her entrance though when he didn't she bit his injured lip causing him to snarl. Just the opening she needed to delve into the hot carven of his mouth.

She blinked, bringing herself out of the world she'd fallen into. Kaoru's gaze refocused on the familiar walls of the room. She needed better practice at this. While she'd been able to go back to the right lifetime, she hadn't been able to go back to the right moment.

This time things had been different. She'd felt it. The same feelings, like she'd synchronized with her former self.

"Did you see what you needed?"

"Hm," Kaoru shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "What?"

"Did you see what you needed to see?"

"No," Kaoru sighed. "Do you think I can go again right now?"

The older woman shook her head. "I'm afraid not. We used a lot of blood to jump two lifetimes even now you run the risk of fainting."

Kaoru looked pensive for a moment, cleaning the spots of blood off her face with the warm wash cloth that had been set out ahead of time. "I think I need practice." Kaoru stated after a moment. "I'll come back." She said watching the clear water swirling in the silver bowl without any help. "I need to see a specific event."

The older woman nodded as she began to bandage Kaoru's cuts. Kaoru watched as the woman applied the ointment and then the band-aids. They'd made the cuts smaller at her request. She was glad she'd thought ahead. This way the wounds wouldn't attract Kenshin attention.

When they were done Kaoru paid the older woman. "I'll see you Monday." She said bowing to the older woman. The other woman nodded and returned the bow.

She left the shop deep in thought. The nice October air played with the hem of her skirt as she walked down the street. Her thoughts lingered on the short glimpse of the past. Their relationship had been . . . . turbulent. There really was no other way of saying it.

She'd been an observer. She seen, heard, smelled and touched. Experiencing it all first hand. She'd felt an overwhelming surge of emotion, such intensity. She'd wanted him and had whipped him when he'd refused her. For trying to deprive her of what she'd wanted, a kiss.

A kiss that wasn't so simple, it represented his submission. If only she'd held on to the moment a little longer she'd have been able to see, to feel what it was like. To feel him respond when she'd wanted him. Because she had, so much that she still felt the after effects.

When she kissed the Kenshin of this life she did it because she had to. He kissed well she wouldn't deny him that but it was all different. She didn't want him. Though she couldn't stand anyone else to have him either. Still when they kissed it was nothing more than that. Just a kiss.

Unlike her past self.

When the empress had tasted the unwilling lips of her slave, she'd felt a sense of euphoria. Such an unquenchable hunger. Desire had flared like she'd never felt before except maybe in her dreams. She felt a tingling down her spine. An aching for a man long past.

She pushed the feelings of yearning away chucking it up to nothing more than nostalgia. She crossed the street and headed down the stairs to the platform. She didn't have to wait more than a minute before the car made its stop. She boarded glad she was on her way back. She still had a lot to do today. She took her seat and clasped her hands in her lap. When she did though she realized she didn't have her charm bracelet. Hm, she'd taken it off when the spell repressing memory had been lifted.

Oh no.

Wei, the old woman hadn't replaced the spell. She bit her lip in concern. She was without spell and charm. Today was Friday surely she could be without until she went back on Monday. She hadn't dreamt at all since the spell had originally been put on her but now without it . . . . would she dream?

Would he haunt her nights again?

Well there you go. Another chapter completed. I hope you guys like it. Sorry it took so long but I have two other stories and I alternate between which I write and on what day.

Small notes: Kaoru and Kenshin have been dating for five weeks, now. Their relationships is moving along slowly. She can't yet bring herself to do anything more than kiss him which is fine, he's not pushing. She's coping with her deceit as best she can, often drinking herself to sleep. 

Kenshin for his part has yet to see through the veil of lies, she's created.

This chapter contained an excerpt from The Impious Empress. I will admit that is one of my favorite scenes.


	11. chapter 10

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Ten

*************

He stood in front of her, shielding her from their eyes. His hair, red as blood, blew in the breeze. They had tried to hurt her and for that they would die a most gruesome death.

Her large sapphire eyes were opened wide in fright. She clutched the silk cloak she wore. He'd come out of nowhere. Demon. That's what they called him. Not because it was his name but because of how he fought.

"For daring to touch her, death is the price." He moved beyond her sight. She crouched down, closing her eyes and covering her ears. Her mid-night colored hair served to block the sight. She would never get used to his ruthlessness. His sense of justice, he knew. But it didn't matter. He would do what was needed whether she liked it or not.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Kenshin woke with a start. His eyes had snapped opened expecting to still be in the middle of a fight. Adrenaline still pumped through his veins. His right hand felt empty without his weapon, his sword. He sat up feeling a sense of disorientation. Even though he could see he was in his room. He looked out the window expecting it to be sometime in the wee hours of daylight but it wasn't. His eyes quickly turned to the clock surprised to see it was nine am.

For as long as he could remember, he had never _dreamt_ or slept in. Ever. He rose from his bed quickly, needing the awareness only a cold shower could provide. He felt lines on his brow creasing in the familiar frown.

Why had he dreamt?

He stood under the cold blast of freezing water. Feeling his body coming alive. His thoughts lingered on the dream. It was more out of curiosity than anything else. He had never dreamt before not in the same way normal people do. No, when he dreamt it was always a replay of an actual event. Always. So now he found himself at a loss.

Like everything he'd ever dreamt. It had been vivid, like an actual event replaying in his mind. Except it couldn't be have been. Kaoru's clothes, they'd been different. So had the men's' whom he'd seen as a threat to her. Why were they wearing odd clothing? His thoughts seemed reluctant to move past that small detail.

He stepped out of the shower and quickly dried. She'd said to be there at ten. He pushed all thoughts away as he focused on getting ready. He towel dried his hair and then quickly put it up in its usual ponytail.

He made his way out and quickly glanced at the clock, nine-thirteen. All right ten minutes and he'd head on out.

*************

Kaoru walked down the hall. Hoping what she'd worn wasn't too casual. The fitted charcoal gray sweat suit hugged her curves like a second skin while the white cami she wore underneath peeked out from underneath the unzipped hoodie. She sighed softly just before she reached the door. She practiced a fake smile and then opened the door.

Her eyes widened as he handed her a bouquet of flowers. "Azure Allium and Jasmine flowers," her eyes softened when she looked at him.

"They reminded me of you."

She smiled and moved back in, allowing him entrance. He closed and locked the door behind him. He walked down the hall and into the living room. "Have a seat," she called out from the kitchen. He did as he was told and took a seat on the snow-white sofa. The room had a homey look. Birch woodened furniture adorned the walls of the room while white ottomans and armchairs surrounded the couch.

Minutes later she came back into the room. "Do you want anything before we start watching the movie?"

"No."

"All right," she said taking a seat next to him. "I've got six movies to choose from since I don't know what you like go ahead and pick the one you'd like to watch."

He looked at the boxes and then at her. She waited expectantly. For some reason his thoughts drifted back to the dream. Her eyes had held so much fright, probably because he'd been different. Oni. They'd called him oni because of the way he'd fought.

"You pick," he said after sometime.

"All right but if I pick it'll be girly movie." She announced. She was happy to see a small glint, flashing through his eyes. Panic. She shook her head in mild amusement then turned back to the covers. She wasn't going to be that cruel. No, she'd play something that went with the mood and applied to their relationship. Or had at some point, some lifetime ago. She rose and put the movie into the dvd player. Feeling his heated gaze follow her as she went around the room closing the blinds, making everything dark. Lastly she turned the air conditioner on a little higher so the room would get cold.

Kenshin read the back of the empty box while she was off doing something. She was out of sight so he could no longer see. "Bram Stokers: Dracula." He read softly. His eyes drifted down and stopped on a particular phrase. _True love never dies_. Something tugged at the back of his mind. Half-spoken words that drifted back to him though so softly he couldn't hear nor understand.

Kaoru returned to the couch, catching a strange expression over his features. "Kenshin?"

Their eyes met and for a heart beat; the world seemed to hold its breath. There was recognition in their eyes. The realization caused a surge of emotions to flare. Like fire the flame blazed. Burning hot in its intensity. A love that would last longer than all the ages of men. Their connection, so strong it's transcended death. Ever lasting for all eternity.

Kaoru tore her gaze away. Feigning ignorance, as she sat down next to him. She felt him looking at her, probably trying to decipher where he knew her from. She reached over for the controls and pushed play, giving it enough volume in hopes of drowning out her thoughts.

He felt like the air had been knocked out of him. He was lost in turmoil. A deep well of chaos that spilled as it overflowed. Anger pushed past a haze of desire and longing that had erupted when their eyes had met. The familiar feeling, the loss of control when he was around her. Specially now. She was so close to him he could feel her body heat. As much as he'd always enjoyed her closeness now it made him mad. And the angrier he seemed to grow the more distant she seemed to become even though she hadn't moved from her spot. His senses sharpened as the feeling rose, taking control over his actions. He turned his face and looked at her.

Kaoru turned to look at him. A mask of innocence in place. "What wrong Kenshin?" She said as she took his hand into hers. His eyes were narrowed and they a glint about them that drew her in. Deep pools of amethyst, dark with anger. She squeezed his hand to get a response but he didn't say anything. Instead he turned his face away back to the television. He sunk back into the couch with his mouth set into a firm line. Oddly enough, he didn't pull his hand away from her grasp.

Kaoru turned her attention back to the tv. Her heart was racing, so fast she was afraid it would burst from her chest. She never imagined he might remember her too. She'd held hope in the beginning but it was obvious from the start he did not. But now . . . . . there was doubt and worse then that, she feared he might remember being someone other than battoussai.

*************

Kaoru cried. Her breath hitched in her chest, as she wept, over so many things and really nothing at all. The love they'd shared. Gone. Love stronger than death. Love that never dies. Dracula should have gotten his Elisabeta. For all the pain he'd suffered at her death, he deserved a little happiness.

Her crying began to subside after a while. She sat curled around Kenshin body almost on his lap. The credits were starting to roll and Kenshin chose that moment to stop the dvd. His arm was around her shoulders holding her close.

"Do you cry every time you watch it?" His voice broke the silence though it was nothing more than a whisper.

Kaoru turned her tear stained face towards him. She nodded unable to form words that didn't sound like they were been chocked out of her. Suddenly filled with shame, she turned away feeling stupid for crying in front of him. It's just that she loved that movie and it was so much better than the book. She took slow shallow breaths trying to regain some semblance of control. At least it seemed that he wasn't mad anymore. She stood up and his arm fell away allowing her the space she needed. Slowly she walked into the kitchen, leaned into the sink and washed her face. The cool water felt nice against her hot face. She sighed and dried her face with a paper towel.

How does she proceed now?

Her behavior could spark a memory, if he indeed remembered. She cleared her throat and yelled out to him. "Kenshin do you want a drink?" She took out a whisky bottle from underneath the sink and poured herself a cup. He walked in just as she put her cup down. "Do you want a drink?" She offered again.

He nodded, watching her closely as she poured him a cup and refilled her own. It was obvious she was used to drinking the beverage from the way she tossed it back. She put her cup down and walked back over to the fridge removing large containers of food, take out to be exact.

Kaoru heated the food. The strong smell of garlic bread filled the room as it was being heated and despite it being her favorite it just didn't stir any hunger. She took another sip from her cup; very aware of the intent gaze directed at her. He had stayed in the kitchen but he hadn't said anything else to her. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe he was still mad. She took another sip from her cup, glad when her mind started to get fuzzy. She would only have three cups and not a drop more.

She didn't want to get drunk. She just wanted to numb her brain, keep it from thinking or drawing conclusions of any sort. The timer went off, spurring her forward. She pulled bowls and plates from the cabinets; she piled them together and placed them in front of her guest. "Would you put these on the coffee table, please." He nodded and left with them. Meanwhile she put the containers and forks on a tray and carried them out.

They sat on the floor, eating quietly all the while her thoughts turned over her current predicament. Her being angry with him was one thing but him being angry with her was totally different. She didn't like it one bit and to be honest she couldn't stand.

*************

The room was dark and very cold. They were on their second movie now. Watching a martial arts movie, something that wouldn't make her cry and might appease him all at the same time. They were both sitting on the couch, leaning against the back. Again Kaoru had curled herself around him, needing comfort after his spurt of anger.

A bottle of wine sat on the table, filled only half way. Two wineglasses sat near by, one half full the other empty. They watched the movie in silence. They'd been mostly silent since that awkward moment when their eyes had met and they'd recognized each other. Speaking perhaps five words to each every hour.

Kaoru turned her face towards him drawing his attention. She looked at him from beneath a set of dark lashes that fluttered as she blinked slowly. She leaned closer and tipped her chin, waiting expectantly.

He looked into her eyes, feeling their message he bent his head down just slightly and kissed her. A soft pressing of the lips before he pulled away and turned his head back towards the movie. He didn't have to see her to know she was frowning. She wasn't angry with him and he wasn't either. Not so much anyways. It's just he didn't want to start anything right now.

He was used to knowing how he felt and what he would do. But today had brought out too many questions. She was driving him crazy but that didn't seem to bother him. Not like it would have if she were anyone else. He wanted her in every sense. But he got the feeling that she might not feel the same way. He couldn't be sure. He'd always been too suspicious in either case. Still he was suspicious.

Kaoru sat with his right arm firmly around her waist. She entwined her left hand with his right. Intrigued by the difference in their color. He was a soft bronze while she was pale, white porcelain like. They'd always been that way. She traced the tiny lines over his fingers and knuckles. Smoothing the skin over his wrist to his elbow with feathery touches.

She briefly wondered what it would be like to bruise his skin. Would she have enough guts to beat him with a whip like she did two lifetimes ago? She doubted it, though in a fit of rage the idea seemed very plausible.

Though his eyes seemed set on the movie he had stopped paying attention to it sometime ago. His thoughts instead where filled with how soft her hands were and that he liked the way she touched him. He wondered if she was doing this on purpose. It was almost like she had a need to be his priority. To keep his thought occupied with nothing more than his need for her.

She squeezed his arm and the muscles underneath flexed feeling hard and tense, strong. She turned her face back to him again drawing his attention. Her lips parted wanting to ask him something but changing her mind at the very last minute she turned away. She'd already asked for a kiss and he hadn't responded the way she'd wanted him to.

Kenshin watched her with concealed curiosity. For a minute he'd thought she might kiss him and he'd waited. Anticipated the moment but she'd simply turned away. Was he disappointed?

He didn't know.

*************

It was ten past midnight. The room was truly dark now except for the light coming off the television. He was supposed to leave now because he'd said it. She hadn't asked him to stay. She'd even nodded; agreeing with him when he'd said it. And he meant to just as soon as he kissed her goodbye.

They were still on the couch. His arm was still around her waist and she was still holding his arm. Their hands were entwined and settled on her lap. She noted he'd said he'd go but he hadn't moved. The light from the tv reflected off his eyes making them glitter. From where she sat they almost looked like liquid metal so she couldn't help but stare. Just yesterday she'd been in the shop looking into the past and trying to force her wretched slave to submit, to give her a kiss.

Now here they are several decades if not centuries later, sitting on her couch looking at each other. Did she want him to submit? Yes. She's pretty sure she does so she leans in and kisses him. She twists in the embrace untwining their hands so she can cup his face. Finally she's gotten her kiss and it's how she'd wanted it. Its hard and bruising, ultimately exciting. She pushes him down with her weight so that he's on his back, submissive to her wants. Their stomachs and chests alike are pressed closely together as they continue kissing.

She's fervent in her actions like she's never been before. Not with him anyways but then she's not really kissing him. In her minds' eye, she's kissing her slave.

The feelings she'd felt yesterday at the shop come back. The way the empress had felt when she'd tasted the unwilling lips of her slave. The sense of euphoria. The unquenchable hunger and desire. All those feelings seem to flare, all at once and she can't help herself when she rocks her hips against him making him groan. His hands tighten around her waist pushing her down against him, so she does it again. He repeats the sound a little louder this time, a captive to her wants.

Eventually she pulls back taking ragged lungfuls of breath. When she can breath again she chances a look down at her willing victim not sure what to do now that her minds cleared of the other woman's emotions. She's not yet ready for the next stage of this game and she's unwilling to go into it unprepared. So she starts to get off him.

Confusion flashes through his eyes at her sudden pulling away. That feeling however is quickly replaced when anger flares somewhere in his gut at the taunting, at her teasing.

Kaoru pauses then noting the small flecks of gold that have begun to seep into his eyes. "They still change color." She notes, her voice is rough almost like she's been screaming.  


"How would you know?" His voice is husky, demanding. Hardly anyone knows that and the only people that do are all in S-9 because it happens only when he kills. Not even the tv crew got a glimpse of his eyes.

"I dream about you Kenshin." She whispered, smiling brazenly. "Specially about your ever changing eyes."

Finally I feel like I'm getting somewhere. We are so close to where I really want to be. I have an outline and my favorite chapters are just around the corner. I myself can't wait. Still I hope you guys liked this chapter. It was longer but I didn't like the direction it was going. I tried to rewrite it but nothing worked. Sorry. 

Small Notes: His dream, a key point in this story because it wasn't a normal dream like he suspects it might be. Nope, it's a memory from his first life with her. If you read Blue Moon then his dream might have looked familiar to you. It's an excerpt from Dark Times: Blood Bonds.

The flowers he brought her. The Azure Allium is a blue flower, close to the shade of her eyes. Jasmine flowers because the smell is utterly her. The small detail softened her heart for a moment. 

Why Dracula?

The theme, _True love never dies _is a reminder of words she once spoke to him. When she comes back to the couch and their eyes meet. It's his soul that recognizes hers. The bond they share is acknowledged in that second just before she turns away.

Why did he get angry?

He feels she's hiding something. He can't be sure what it is but now he's suspicious of her Still he's infatuated with her and so he doesn't leave. He can't seem to make himself.

His ever changing eyes, a comment that deepens the suspicion he already feels. Angry as that might have made him though she stir something that appeases him. A captive to her wants.

E-mail me if you have questions, just be sure to add your email address so I can respond. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review.


	12. chapter 11

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Eleven

*************

That's it.

He pulled the camera out of the idiot's grasp. Smashed it on the floor and kicked the pieces away. His eyes were hard, glinting with barely repressed fury. Monday morning was not turning out to be so good for him.

At his violent outburst the other reporters and cameramen had backed away, becoming completely silent. They'd moved to the side and created a path for him straight to the elevator.

It was too late though. He was angry now. Truth be told, he'd been angry since Saturday night. His annoyance escalated to real anger then and he shoved the thought away. He turned his anger on those who stood before him. The only outlet he had. "Who let you in here?"

An eerie silence followed his question.

"I want you all out." He barked. At his command most of the reporters ran off, each racing to the door. There were two though that still remained. And one had their camera rolling. "Now before I remove you." He said stepping closer to them.

"Freedom of the press."

"The right of the people."

They said something else but he wasn't listening. Really, his anger was hanging by the thinnest of threats. He closed his eyes and fisted his hands trying to keep calm while there were camera's on him. When he opened his eyes, they were harsh and menacing. They glistened an eerie shade of hoary, lustrous like the reflection of the moon on water. He was not going to pull his gun out on them. He was not going to use his gun. He repeated the phrase in his mind as he approached the speaker. "Trespassers." The one word was his only warning. He grabbed the man by the back of his coat, intending on escorting him out.

Unfortunately the man struggled and in that struggle he caught Kenshin's lip. The red headed man moved so fast the reporter wasn't even aware of having been dropped down onto the floor until his hand's were bound. Kenshin tied him with his own belt and pulled him up to his feet. He spat blood to the side as he looked at the one remaining.

"What's going on here?"

Kenshin's attention turned to the security guard, holding a donut in his left hand and coffee in his right. Kenshin saw recognition come across the other man's face. "Himura-san you're early."

"You're fired." Kenshin responded in turn. What kind of security leaves their post? What if these were armed men or worse. The security guard paled then nodded. The redhead then turned his back to him and addressed the last man. "Give me that tape."

"What?" The cameraman said moving his head from behind the eyepiece.

"Give ME the tape." Kenshin repeated, stressing his words but the cameraman backed away when he approached. If only he had a sword. "Where are you going to go?" Kenshin asked the man that kept trying to back away.

The cameraman stopped; slowly he lowered the camera. Looking from the redhead to the bound reporter. He took a calming breath, trying to build a little inner courage. He ran.

Or at least tried to.

The head of security read the intention even before he set off. His foot tripped the man as he ran by. The camera a long with the man went down. He walked over to the recording object, now in several pieces. He removed the tape and put it in his pocket. He bent down and bound the man in the same way as the reporter. He really didn't feel like calling the police and having them come here. Still, he pushed the men across the long span of the lobby. He would hold them for a couple of hours, maybe instill a little fear in them.

*************

What made him think drinking would make it better?

It was sometime after two and he was in his office drinking. They'd supplied his office with a small bar and he'd never touched it before. Even now he'd only taken one drink from the large bottle of whiskey. He'd spent his entire lunch in bar. Tossing back drink after drink.

Saturday Night.

He was still very agitated. He didn't even know where to begin. They'd been kissing then she'd pulled away. Of course that had upset him but even more was the fact that she'd known about his eyes and her cryptic response had done nothing to appease him either.

"I dream about you Kenshin. Specially about your ever changing eyes."

Kaoru was playing with him. Some game he didn't understand. He couldn't understand what it was about her that drew him so. I mean she was beautiful and very tempting. He'd jump at the chance to get into her bed; he was willing to admit that. Though not aloud. She was very confusing.

Lies.

He'd pushed her off him and called her a liar. She'd only smiled in response. He'd been in some temper and she'd made no attempt to placate him. He'd left then, cursing at everything though mainly her.

He'd been thinking about her since. The whole day had been odd. First he'd gotten mad, which wasn't so odd, he does have a short temper after all but what'd bothered and still bothers him was the fact that nothing happened to make him feel what he'd felt. He'd looked at her and it'd been like he'd been looking at someone else.

There really isn't a way to describe the feeling. Though it was kind of like the first time he'd been in a shoot out. Years ago when he'd first joined PSB but before he was S-9 he'd been caught in a cross fire and he'd been trying to help one of the ministry officials get away. Bullets had rained down on them from all directions. Blood had spilled on him and he'd thought for a minute it was his. He'd been shocked that he hadn't felt the pain but he quickly realized that it wasn't his blood but that of the other man's. He'd never had anyone die on him, literally. It was like the wind had been knocked out of him. The cold realization had sent chills down his back. He knew death.

He knew Kaoru.

*************

He'd just gotten out of work and what had he done?

He'd driven to her house where he'd thought he'd confront her. About what? And what did he think he was going to say when she opened the door. Bloody temper. He was parked outside, two houses down from her home. Confused and maybe just a little drunk.

Maybe he just wanted to see her. Kami only knew how he felt because he had no idea. He was just so . . . . so . . . . infatuated with her. Hm, that's what he wanted to call it because he didn't want to think about the alternative.

He leaned over the steering wheel wanting to bang his head against it instead of just resting on it. Today was Monday, October ninth, their six week anniversary. He'd never been good remembering holidays or anyone's birthday but hers he knew. He knew what day they'd met. What day he'd seen her at the museum and what day they'd first had dinner together.

An unnatural affinity had developed. He was sure it was infatuation. It had to be. It was the only way he could explain why he constantly thought about her. Why he longed for her. He couldn't escape her and he knew it. He groaned in frustration. He needed another drink. He turned his car on and drove away.

*************

_It was a cold dark night. The moon hung high in the sky though it was obscured by dark large ominous clouds. Leaves fell around, blown by an unseen wind._

_He was sitting quietly off to the side. His eyes were closed, ignoring the rising voices of his companions. The others had done nothing but argue since they'd gone here._

_Suddenly his eyes snapped opened. An amber glint shown off his eyes as he looked around, sensing._

_"Put out the lights." He ordered. "They're coming." He rose using his katana as support. Everyone scrambled. The other guards rushed on ahead of him, idiots. He was the last to step through the front door._

_His katana slit a man, right down the middle, small droplets of blood slid down the blade pooling on the floor. Two others rushed to block his path. The handle of his wakazashi served to fend of the first attack. With the same movement he slashed across from right shoulder to the left hip. His katana came back up cutting across the second man's stomach dropping him where he stood._

_He finished down the last step. His eyes focused on those of another man. They held a silvery glint and his ki was strong, another hitokiri. The other man's katana rose in the beginnings of a stance. He himself did the same, gripping the handle. There under the moonlight they faced off, reading each other before they attacked. The swords clashed, lighting fast and with the familiar metallic clank. They ran simultaneously each gaining speed. The other man jumped, his sword coming down but he was ready. He drove the other man back and leapt into the air. When he came down, the other man's blade slit the air where he'd stood. No matter how fast, he was faster. He was already in the air in the beginnings of the Ryu Tsui Sen. He growled as he came down, the familiar clink of cutting through metal resonated through the woods as he set down._

_The other man stood several seconds before his katana fell on the floor, cut into pieces. Blood spurted out, washing him with blood. His opponent fell back, bleeding but already dead._

_He stood and slashed the air, ridding his blade of blood. That same blood that dripped from his chin and back onto the floor. He re-sheathed his sword and walked away. His read hair swayed in the breeze as he disappeared into the shadows._

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Kenshin was not pleased. He'd woken up wiping his brow. The blood had slipped into his eye or so he'd thought. But it was just another _dream_. Though what kind of dreams they were, he didn't know. Groggy as his mind was he could still see that all these strange dreams seemed to have the same thing in common. Old clothes, swords and him as the protector. He frowned in confusion. What the hell was going with him? And how was it that he could recognize a regular guard from and hitokiri?

*************

Kenshin walked into the lobby glad to see no reporters. Maybe today would turn out better than Monday.

"Himura-san there was a man here looking for you."

Kenshin's looked across the lobby towards the new security guard at the front desk. "Did he leave a name?" He said walking closer to the new guard.

"No, when he didn't find you. He asked to speak either to Akihito-san or Kurizuma-san."

Kenshin frowned at the bit of news. "Did he call up?"

"Yes, Kurizuma took the call. He called him to his office."

"Bring up him on camera four." Kenshin ordered moving behind the security desk.

With the punch of a few keystrokes, the image of a tall man came up on camera four. Most of the cameras were black and white. There were several that were colored though and one of those was hidden behind the company logo. The logo was large and stood high above the security desk, it caught all those coming in whether they registered at the desk or not. He was glad now he'd had it installed. It was one of the first things he'd installed on coming to work for Akihito corp.

"I need a different angle."

The security guard punched a few other keys changing the angle. It was useless though the man had kept his face averted, almost like he'd known where the cameras where. It was hard to make out who it was. There was nothing but a few characteristics, he was tall and lean with dark midnight hair that covered his eyes. Longs bangs that kept his face from view.

Kenshin felt an uneasiness creep into him. "Print that picture and post it down here. Call me immediately when he shows. Don't try to detain him." The security guard's eyes were wide. He nodded with avid curiosity. Kenshin made his way to the elevator just as the doors opened. He strode in and punched the key for his floor.

He didn't like the feel of this.

*************

"I really couldn't see his face but he showed me government credentials."

Kenshin gave Kurizuma a penetrating gaze. It was cold and calculating. "What was his name?"

Kurizuma had the feeling he was been interrogated. "I don't remember. He pulled out a badge and showed it to me but it was so quick I didn't catch the name on the Id. It did say Public Service Bureau though."

Kenshin had straightened to his full height and was now standing rigidly. His face and tone alike were devoid of feeling. There was no inflection in his voice when he spoke. "What did he tell you to call him?"

"Iwakami."

The redhead had stilled, his features schooled. He made no reaction when Kurizuma answered. That man hadn't been Iwakami. Iwakami Toru had been his commander for several years and he would know the man even if he were blind. This had been someone else but he couldn't fathom whom.

"He wanted to know how you were adjusting."

Kenshin thoughts snapped back immediately. "What did you say?"

Kurizuma frowned in thought trying to remember exactly what he'd said. "I told him you were fitting in great. You were the best head of security we've ever had. He also asked about the company holidays."

Kenshin jumped on that. "Did he mention the Eea treaty?"

"No, what's that?"

"National security, the treaty overrides all other contracts. I can be pulled back on assignment." Kenshin's voice was hard. It held an uncompromising edge that frightened.

Kurizuma's skin crawled and he was glad he was wearing a suit. "Could they take you today if they wanted?"

"No, I haven't agreed to take any assignments." Kenshin moved towards the large glass desk in front of him. He took a leaf of paper and a pen and wrote down a number. "Contact me right away if you see him." He slid the paper over. "Don't approach him, especially if you see him outside of this building. Do you understand?"  


Kurizuma nodded curtly not liking the way he was spoken to. Still Himura was head of security and he had his reasons for the decisions.

Kenshin had waited long enough to see Kurizuma nod before he turned around and left. "I will have security escort you down tonight when you leave." He tossed over his back as he reached for the door. "The same goes for Akihito."

Small Notes: Kenshin's short tempered and his patience is wearing thing. His frustrated with Kaoru leads to a violent outburst early in the morning. Monday really was not his day. His irritation seems to grow as the day wears on. 

He contemplates things with Kaoru, understanding that she must be playing some kind of game he's not yet aware of. Despite that he can't seem to keep away from her. He goes to her house after work wanting a confrontation though once he's there he realized that the reason why he might have gone was just so he could see her.

His dream is not really a dream. It's something that happened when he was still the hitokiri battoussai. Fans who've watched the movie will recognize this as the opening scene.

Can you guess who the unidentifiable man is?


	13. chapter 12

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Twelve

*************

His body reacted before he was even aware. Kaoru sat in his leather chair her legs propped up on his desk. The sight of bare legs and high heels threw him off for a second. She'd been waiting for him.

She smiled coyly at him. "It's Wednesday Kenshin, I do hope you haven't forgotten." Her voice was soft today, whimsical and flirtatious.

"How did you get in here?" He asked her as he closed the door and came in the rest of the way.

"Not too hard to get past your security." She said smiling.

Kenshin gritted his teeth in agitation. Damn idiots. He would have to fire the whole lot of them.

She rose from his chair slowly almost deliberately. "We have a date later today. I just stopped by to remind you."

Since they'd started going out they'd been going out every Wednesday and Saturday. Naturally she would assume they had a date. Today being Wednesday and all. Still he wasn't sure if he would go out with her today. He might not just to spite her.

Kaoru walked around from behind his desk, showing off her dress. It was bluish-purple; a silk embroidered peony dress. Cut in the traditional Chinese style with slits on the sides. Long slits that ran all the way to the beginnings of her thighs exposing a leg each time she took a step.

Her legs seemed to go for miles in the dress and she was very aware of that fact. It's why she'd bought it. She smiled amusedly at him. His reaction was very familiar. He seemed to have a thing for silk and she'd played off that. "It reminded me of you." She said touching the dress, running her hands over it softly as she walked closer to him.

Kenshin found himself feeling strangely out of place and at a loss for words. He blinked slowly trying to focus but it was like he was just waking up from a long deep sleep.

"It's the color of your eyes." She murmured, now standing close enough to touch him if she so wished.

He watched her small mouth forming words and it took a moment to understand what she was saying to him. She reached for his right hand, extending it from the fist he'd been making. She placed his splayed out palm over her hip so he could touch the smooth fabric of her dress.

He couldn't help but feel the material. He caressed her hip over the dress feeling the velvety softness. He felt a dark hunger fighting against rational thought. He was falling again, victim to her wants. The satiny feel made him think lewd thoughts and something in him struggled to break free, take control. "What are you doing to me?" He asked enthralled by the lure.

She smiled. "Nothing you don't want me to."

Purple eyes glinting with a hint of gold pierced hers searchingly. "Kaoru?" He questioned huskily.

Her heart seemed to catch in her throat. Battoussai was not supposed to come out. It was that idiotic rurouni she'd been after or at least that part of him that was easier to control.

Suddenly he smiled lasciviously at the expression on her face. Both his hands now held her firmly by the waist, pressing her closer. He regarded her with half lidded eyes. A look that spoke volumes.

She was mesmerized by his gaze. Lost in a familiar feeling. He exuded sensuality, subtle eroticism, beauty and force. She found herself melting, helpless against him. Why was she here again?

"So you came all this way to remind me?" His voice was low and husky when he spoke. She shivered and drew back. She seemed to struggle, trying to clear her thoughts. A voracious feeling overcame him wanting him to rob her of all reasoning. All sense of thought.

They were so close; all he had to do was lean in. Unable to help himself he did, kissing her almost savagely. He held her tightly and she responded with abandonment, clutching him to her with all her strength. He groaned at her responsiveness. Her reckless empowered him. Seduced and enticed him to try something more. He could feel his eyes melting into gold. His hands roved over her back out of their own accord, feeling all the curves, burning her skin. She whimpered in response and leaned more of her weight on him.

Reluctantly he released her lips. She sagged against him gasping for breath feeling dazed and faint, too overwhelmed for words.

His eyes were rapt by her flushed look and shallow breaths. He had to struggle against the urge to possess her. He burned with barely restrained desire, fighting the uproar as best he could. He didn't like the loss of control and he felt how easily she could consume him. "What are you doing to me?" His voice shook when he spoke.

Kaoru for her part seemed to see nothing but his lips, moving as they were. She couldn't hear anything over the pounding of her own heart. All she knew is that she was where she wanted to be. She pulled his face back down pleading without words. Just one more kiss.

*************

What was she doing?

She'd been asking herself that for the last couple of hours. She'd wondered for sometime but now she walked with purpose. Walking down the familiar streets, perpetually the same since the Edo era. Seeing without seeing, her thoughts had been occupied with _him_. Like any creature, she could sense danger. She was fearful of him. He who had loved her so passionately once. He how'd made her forget her name with a touch. He who would have killed for her. Battoussai, his presence alone made her weak. She felt a cold shiver down her spine, gripping her throat and squeezing her heart.

Kaoru sighed and walked into the shop, spotting Wei right away. She greeted the old woman and followed her to the back.

"You know that potion to make people fall in love with you?" Kaoru said taking a seat on the familiar cushion.

Wei nodded.

"Can you make one, to make you hate people?" Her cobalt eyes were apprehensive. Worried over something she had yet to voice.

The older woman looked at her curiously before she responded. "No."

At Kaoru 's frown. The old woman elaborated. "My family stopped making those potions sometime ago. They are too strong and there's no way to dilute them."

She was running out of options. Kaoru bit her lip thinking of what else she could do. "Can you do anything to repress feelings then? Love in specific."

The old woman could see the distress on Kaoru face. Hear it in her voice. "I can repress feelings though only for sometime eventually they will break free. No matter how strong I make the potion or reinforce it with a spell, as time goes on, your feelings will increase and break past the spell."

Kaoru acceded, anything to rid herself of what she was feeling. Even if it was a temporary fix. "That's fine."

The woman nodded and began gathering supplies for the spell she would cast.

*************

Kaoru sat on her bed thinking. Now that her troublesome emotions were out of the way she could focus on the task. She could see through her actions and discern where her problem lay.

Originally she'd thought about him as just Kenshin. It was easier that way since that's whom she hated anyways. Her dreams and past memories had told her that his personality had once been split into two. These last six weeks had shown her that he retained none of the rurouni's idiosyncrasies. All mannerism suggested he was battoussai. What with the cool facade, detached tone and cold exterior. Yet he'd never really displayed passion. The kind he'd used once to defeat his enemies. The way he'd spoken when something was really important or the way he'd loved her once upon a time. So with out that trait she'd never really believed him to be battoussai. It was easier to see him as just Kenshin.

That had all ended abruptly earlier today though. The sight of battoussai had overcome all her senses. She'd wanted to melt into his arms like ice cream in the sun. For him to burn her with his touch, to devour her whole. She'd loved him once, intensely so. But that was in the past. Where he should have stayed.

Kaoru's scowl darkened. She knew he'd remembered something on Saturday, the expression he'd held that day had made her suspicious. "Bastard."

Of course this complicated things. His personality was not easily controlled or manipulated. His darker side had a tendency of eclipsing her reasoning. But as long as the spell worked she'd be ok.

This _thing_ between them had just become all the more difficult. And she was unwilling to let him have his way. No matter what, she'd complete what she'd set out to do. She'd crush his spirit until he felt like dying. Not until he was broken. Only then would she have her peace. Only then . . . . .

. . . . . would she flee Japan.

*************

Kaoru held Kenshin's hand as they walked down the street. She strove for her normal demeanor smiling when she needed to and nodding her head. She had avoided talking about what had happened earlier in the day. She tugged his arm, pulling him into an ice cream shop.

They sat in a booth huddled together not really saying much. Waiting for their ice cream to be served. She leaned her head into the crook of his neck. Feeling his warmth. His arm came around her waist, holding her close.

She avoided putting her hands on the table since they were bandaged again. She kept looking too far into the past, which is why Wei took so much blood for the spell. But she'd wanted to see how the empress and her slave had . . . . . consummated their relationship. What her past self had done specifically.

She was inexperienced in that way and she'd never be able to learn what she needed out of a book. So she'd dug into her past. Learnt what she'd needed to. With her feelings bound, she would be able to move onto the next phase of her plan. At least that was her theory. There was always the chance the spell would shatter in the middle of it all.

She was so lost in thought she failed to realize when the ice cream had been placed in front of them. He'd given her a small squeeze causing her to look at him. His eyes were dark purple pools, well guarded as they looked at her. He gave her a searching look. Looking for something she didn't understand. She tried to soften her eyes as she smiled at him. She pecked his lips softly and turned her attention to the ice cream. She ate hers slowly, feeding him some of hers as they ate quietly.

*************

Kenshin lay in bed, alone. And he was more confused now then he ever was before. At the office she'd been so . . . . . passionate. His eyes had burned, melting to gold when his restraints had fallen away. It'd surprised him to say the least. His eyes only changed color in the middle of a fight, never outside. Only when he killed whether it was purposely or not. Only then.

He sighed in frustration and propped his head on his arms. She had looked so nice in the morning. It was like the dress had been made just for her. Hugging her in all the right places. He smiled despite himself. She was quick to notice his like of silk. He wondered how far they could have gone if they hadn't been interrupted. He decided to stop his thoughts right there before they aggravated him.

His date with her tonight had been odd. She'd smiled and she laughed. She'd hugged him and she'd kissed him but it was all different. There'd been a veil of detachment over her eyes. Her smiles had never reached her eyes and she would space out at times.

Maybe he'd scared her off with the way he'd acted at the office. Though he didn't see how that could be when she'd been a willing participant. He didn't understand and whenever he tried he only ended up getting mad.

He sighed and closed his eyes. It was almost four and he needed to sleep. It would be two more days before he saw her again. Until then he could only suspect about her sudden pulling away. He did know this though; he wouldn't allow her to distance herself from him. He wanted her too much.

*************

Kenshin rubbed his eyes furiously. He hadn't been able to get a goodnights rest since last Friday night. First his argument with Kaoru on Saturday, that of course that had carried on till Tuesday. Which is when he'd found out about the unidentifiable man looking for him at his work place. Though that didn't seem to pose such a problem, not like Kaoru anyways. She seemed to be taking up his attention again, filling his thoughts. He groaned and rubbed his temples.

His phone rang, interrupting him out of his thoughts. "What?"

"He's here and on his way up."

Kenshin felt his heart picking up it's pace at the sound of those words. Adrenaline pumped in his veins. "Thanks." He said tossing the phone back on the receiver. He pulled his gun out of his holster and took the safety off. He put it back and felt around for the extra clip. He was set. He sat behind his desk, smoothing out papers in front of him. Better yet he turned them over.

The door snapped open then, slamming against the wall. A tall man with golden yellow eyes strode into the room. He was dressed in a black suit the same shade as his hair. His eyes were glinting with something close to delight.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Kenshin couldn't help the words that spilled from his mouth at the sight of the other man.

The other man grinned. "They want to see you."

"What the fuck is the phone for?"

"You sound agitated, odd for a man with a girlfriend."

Kenshin's eyes narrowed dangerously at the comment. "You've been watching me." He accused.

"Come now, Toorima why would I waste my time with you." There was mockery in that tone.

"Tell them, I am not interested." Kenshin bit out.

The man's eyes flashed. "I didn't come here to ask." His odd bangs were not covering his eyes today.

Kenshin stood, his chair being pushed back as he rose. "Are you going to make me Ookami?"

The black haired man smirked. "If that's how you want to see it."

Kenshin's hands itched to pull out his gun. "You've delivered your message now get out."

"Always the barking dog, aren't you?"

Kenshin moved away from his desk at the taunting. "If you want me to put a bullet in your head then why don't you come to me after work." Kenshin offered.

The tall man scoffed. "You couldn't hit me at point blank."

Kenshin drew his gun out. "I don't need a gun to kill you." He said placing it on the table. He took his suit coat off and tossed it onto his chair.

The other man's smirk slipped off. His eyes were flashing dangerously while his mouth formed into a thin line. He'd hated the redhead since first setting eyes on him. They'd gotten into a fight or two before and had come close to killing each other during training. He took his coat off and put it to the side, putting his gun right over the coat. "Neither do I."

Kenshin's eyes were liquid metal brimming with deep seeded hate. "Let's go."

I'm happy with this chapter. The opening scene alone. You all know I'm a big Battoussai fan so you can imagine what's like when I finally get to see him. I'm very excited. The scene was actually longer but I decided I shouldn't get too carried away. Too lemony. 

Small Notes: Battoussai, his presence alone made her weak. She was too overcome when she first saw him in his office and she was afraid of what he could do to her if he should decided to come out. His intensity had a way of eclipsing her judgment and because of that she had her feelings bound. So she could stand a chance. So she could resist him. 

Crumbs, clues that aren't big enough to understand but if you gather enough of them, eventually they will form something. 

Kenshin has begun to see, small patterns not enough to know what it is or why she does what she does but enough to notice. He's a suspicious individual, not trusting anyone. Though when it comes to Kaoru he does seem to have a blind spot.

Does Ookami sound familiar to you? He should he's always been a nuisance to Kenshin. Both as Battoussai or Toorima.

Minbu no Ookami 

I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review.


	14. chapter 13NH

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Thirteen

*************

Kenshin glared at everything. The sun was too bright and traffic wasn't moving. Everywhere he looked there were too many cars or too many people. Worse of it all was they wouldn't shut the hell up. He banged the stirring wheel of his car in anger. Friday traffic was going to kill him.

It wasn't just traffic that had him all riled up though. His fight with that asshole from yesterday had begun to grate on his nerves then today they call him and tell him if he doesn't come to them by twelve- thirty they'll haul in.

He'd had a lot to say to them when he'd seen them. Fucking wolf-eyed freak, it wasn't even S-9 that wanted to see him. Though why S-6 had offered him a job he still didn't know. It didn't matter though it's not like they couldn't make him do anything he didn't want to do. Bastards.

The cars ahead off him moved but the light stopped him at the intersection. He sighed in frustration, thinking a second before he muttered under his breath. 'Fuck it,' and turned right. He almost ran a cyclist that was moving along too slow from his point of view. He honked his horn and gesture for the idiot to get off his car. He was in a fowl mood and he knew it.

*************

Kaoru padded down the hall, a little surprised that her take out had come so quickly. She secured her bathrobe before she opened the door. Smiling largely at the delivery boy, she handed him the money. She could smell the aroma of Hawaiian chicken with yummy rice. It made her mouth water. She was putting the food down on the table when the door bell rang again. She walked back to the door and opened it.

"Kenshin?" She was surprised to see him on a non-date day but worse then that he looked like he'd been in a fight. "What happened?" She said taking him by the arm and pulling him into her house. "Are you all right?"

She smelled like jasmine. Her skin glowed, her hair was damp and she was still in her bathrobe. Kenshin felt better already. She led him into the living room and sat him on the couch. She sat on the coffee table peering at him with concern "Tell me."

"Just a fight with some guy I know."

"Kenshin." She warned.

"We got into it yesterday."

"Does he at least look worse than you do today?" She said touching the stitches over his left brow then trailing her fingertips to the side of his mouth. Gingerly touching the cut on his lip before tracing the swollen flesh around it.

"If your asking me if I won," He said in all seriousness noting the curiosity in her sapphire eyes. "Then yes I did."

Kaoru smiled. "Good." She said getting up. "I was just going to have dinner. "Do you want a lot or a little?" She said already moving into the kitchen.

"A lot I guess." He said following her.

She took a set of plates and forks then handed them to him. She made a grab for a couple of soda cans and then the take out bag before she walked back out to the room. She sat down on the couch next to him and began opening the bag. "So was it an eye for an eye kinda fight?"

"Aa." he admitted.

"Well give me a play by play. It's not everyday you get into a fight."

Kenshin didn't comment too much on that particular statement. "He came into my office."

"What?" Kaoru was surprised, "At your workplace, what nerve." She said as she continued to serve his plate.

Kenshin smiled grimly. "There's a lot of bad blood between us so when he came into my office my temper just got the better off me." he took his plate from her and began to eat.

Kaoru turned and looked at him. "So tell me how did it end?"

Kenshin finished chewing his food. Thinking if he was being wise in telling her. "The police broke it up." He said after a moment. He could see her out of the side of his eyes. Her expression made him turn towards her.

"There was police involved?" Her voice held incredulity and her eyes sparkled with curiosity.

His mouth quirked into a grin. "Someone walking by the office heard things breaking. They called security and they called the police."

"Wow." Kaoru's was impressed. "Did the other guy go to jail?"

"No." Kenshin's frown returned. "He would have gotten out in less than an hour, there was no point." He kept the rest of details to himself. Like the fact that Fujita was S-6. Or that he was being offered a job out of the country. There was a lot he couldn't tell her and it bothered him that he couldn't share that with her. Though he didn't know why. It was odd but he didn't want to worry her.

*************

"It's late and I should." He insisted rising from the couch.

"You don't have to though," she said grasping his hand.

Kenshin looked at her closely. She was calm and friendly, hospitable he would say. He didn't want her to feel obligated to put him up for the night though. It's not that he didn't want to stay here with her. He just wanted to be asked to stay for the right reasons and not the wrong ones. Besides she seemed a little indifferent despite her cheery face and dazzling smile. "It's all right." His expression softened when he turned to look at her. "I'll go home."

She gripped his hand a little tighter, stopping him where he stood. She had worked up the nerve to ask him to stay and stay he would. She had to get through this part. The bind on her feelings would only last so long, the intensity of what she would feel . . . . she had to do this already. "Stay." She commanded and pulled on his arm.

Kenshin felt more than knew, something was wrong. Though he'd been a long time in waiting now he felt like they might be rushing things. He didn't want her to get angry which is why he hadn't pulled his hand away. Maybe he could just ask for a guest room. Though he had a feeling that would upset her. Maybe they could share the same bed then he didn't _need _to touch her. Really, he had a lot of self control. Not too easily broken. He frowned. Was that really the truth? Cause at his office he'd seemed more than happy to have tossed it away.

Kaoru opened the door to the guestroom. Her heart was beating wildly and she began to panic. Wasn't the bind supposed to hold back all feelings? She moved aside and let him come into the room. What had Wei said to her?

The potion works different on everyone, some peoples feeling are so strong they seep through the spell. Feeling a fraction of what they normally would.

Kaoru looked up at Kenshin who seemed to be regarding her with deep pools of amethyst. Her heart skipped a beat and she realized her throat was dry. It dawned on her that she might be one of those people. Her emotions for this man were by far the strongest. Stronger than death.

"I can sleep on the couch." He offered, his voice was deep sending goose bumps all over her skin.

She broke the gaze and looked at the floor. "No you don't have to." She mumbled as she moved over to the bed and began moving pillows and drawing the covers back.

He watched her movements with a curiosity. Retaining himself from licking his lips in neither hope nor expectancy. He noted the flowers he'd bought where on her dresser. Did that mean something?

Kaoru looked at him, tilting her head to the side. She wondered why he was just standing there. "Are you going to sleep in your suit?" She said breaking him out of his reverie. He swallowed the knot in his throat and turned his back to her. Slowly he began to unbutton his shirt. Kaoru took the opportunity to change while his back was to her. She slid open a drawer and slipped a short night gown on. She let the bathrobe fall noisily around her feet, knowing just how sensitive his hearing was.

He slipped his shirt off and she couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips at seeing his bare back. He was bruised all over. He turned, feeling the hairs on his arms standing on end as a cold shiver ran over him. She'd walked over to him wanting to inspect him closer. Her hand's were warm when she touched him. Trailing the recent cuts and bruises. "Did he break you ribs?"

"Two." he admitted as she rubbed her hands over the bandaged area.

She touched the large bruise around his left arm, the color seemed to darken the closer she came to it. She pressed it tentatively. "What happened here?" She breathed against his chest. "Dislocated my arm?" He said as he threaded his fingers into her damp hair.

She touched another bruise around his waste. "And here?"

"Slammed into the edge of a table." He lowered his mouth and kissed her but she turned her face away. "Does it hurt?" She said pressing her thumb into it. "Not really." he murmured against her skin. He mouthed soft kisses around her cheek and jaw while her hand trailed back to his ribs, "here?" She said pressing hard. He gritted his teeth. "Some." he admitted. Kaoru nuzzled him, rubbing her face against the firmness of his chest. He swallowed and closed his eyes enjoying the teasing of her skin against his own.

His scent was different in this life though not so much she couldn't recognize it. She laid a small kiss on his chest, right over his heart. She felt his arm snaking around her waist rubbing the material of her night gown.

She smiled against him and laid an open mouth kiss over his nipple. Teasing it with her mouth, licking and biting, circling the erect bud with her tongue. She licked his chest lewdly, biting on his pec and leaving the small bite mark. She turned her face upwards meeting his hungry gaze for a faction of a sec before he kissed and crushed her to the bed.

**************

Kenshin opened his eyes, adjusting his eyes to the low light. He was sure it was sometime before sunrise, it couldn't be any later than that. His body felt heavy, as if he were inebriated or in a state of fancy, like a dream. A dream that held all he'd ever wanted and all he'd ever yearn for, so full of hope and warmth. Like strings of sliver and moonbeams, they shimmer and pull, tugging on his heart.

He hadn't known how overwhelming physical desire could be, not till he met her. Sometimes when he looked at her he felt as if he were drowning in something he didn't understand. Helpless against the pull, he had all but thrown himself at her. He dipped his head closer into her hair, smelling the strong jasmine scent.

His arms had slipped around her waist in sleep and pulled her close to him. He pressed closer and kissed her shoulder. Her skin was warm under his lips. The feel of skin lured him. Slowly his right hand caressed her hip, moving upwards from the smoothness of her stomach to her ribs settling on her bosom. She was too beautiful.

He'd always thought that once they'd slept together his feelings would wane but that had not been the case if anything at all. It seemed that this had only strengthen them. Almost like she'd sealed his fate. He smiled and nuzzled her neck. An odd affinity that had lured him like a moth to the flame. Since before they'd actually met, he'd felt something for her and now . . . . . His breath hitched in his throat as he realized that it wasn't mere affinity or concupiscence he felt. The growing embers in his eyes flared, melting into gold.

He loved her.

This chapter is much larger than this but FF.net won't let me put up anything over PG-13 but if you want to read the original chapter then go to my website. 

Small Notes: All of you pretty much caught the hint. Minbu no Ookami is Fujita Goro. Saitou changed his name after the Bakumatsu. 

Kaoru and Kenshin have finally moved to the next step in their relationship. Despite her constant struggle and conflicting feelings, Kaoru finally gave into battoussai. Kenshin for his part, concluded that what he felt wasn't mere affinity At last he realized he loved her. 


	15. chapter 14

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Fourteen

*************

His kisses were soft and lingering. She could tell he didn't want to leave, but it was Monday morning and he had to work. They stood behind the door of her house kissing as she bade him good bye. "I'll see you tonight." He whispered against her throat.

"No, Wednesday." She said pushing on his chest.

He sighed and nodded his head. They opened the door and he walked out, pausing on the last step of the stairs of her porch.

"One more." She said knowing what he wanted. She walked over to him and threw her arms around his neck. Kissing him until her world began to loose focus. She released him, smiling when she saw flecks of gold appearing in his eyes. He hesitated for the fraction of a moment before he turned and left.

She waited till he drove off before she went back inside. Slamming the door close as she ran inside and into the bathroom. Her hands shook as she opened the medicine cabinet already a stream of tears made their way down her cheeks. She took hold of the pills she'd been looking for; they were prescribed painkillers she took during her period because her cramps were far too painful to endure without medication. Those pills that had helped her through so much were now going to help her again. She struggled with the cap until she popped the lid open. The pills spilled on the counter but she quickly shoved them back in though not before she stuck two into her mouth. They were bitter on her tongue and tasted even worse when she chewed on them. She put the bottle on the counter and knelt down in front of the sink. She opened the cabinets underneath and stuck her hand all the way into the back, behind the bathroom cleaners until she found her bottle of rum.

The mixture could be dangerous but at the moment her mind was slow in registering anything but what had happened. She took the top off the bottle and chugged a mouthful. She wanted more, desperately but she knew it wouldn't be a good idea. She put the bottle down instead and crawled into the shower. Her hands managed to find the knobs and turned the water on. Hot water sprayed down on her, washing away everything.

Everything they had shared in the last three days. All his words and all his kisses. Every where he'd touched. It'd burned and she wanted it to burn now. The water was almost too hot to bear but she could stand it. She was proof of the fact that pain didn't kill you. If that had been true then she would have been able to die with him in the last life instead of living on.

Kaoru grabbed her head, pulling on her hair. She began rocking herself. She wanted to be numb. If the pills hadn't had their affect on her by the time she left the shower then she'd drink herself to oblivion. A flash of amber eyes drifted past her vision causing her to cry louder. I don't want to think. I don't want to think. I don't want to think. She chanted the same phrase over and over until the words slurred together.

When again she opened her eyes, she noticed the water was no longer scalding hot. Her vision swam and she sat there under the water until the spinning stopped. Then slowly she crawled forward turning the water off. She crawled out feeling to weak to stand. She sat on the fluffy mat with her eyes tightly shut, trying desperately to regain some strength. When she could move again, she took off the satin robe she'd been wearing, it felt heavier now that it was completely soaked. She pulled on a near by towel and draped it around her torso. When she was done she then crawled across the floor to where her bottle of rum sat.

Alcohol induced sleep was still sleep.

Kaoru supported herself against the sink in an effort to stand. She was slow in rising but she did it and with her bottle of rum in hand. Tiny steps, that was all she could do for the moment but she didn't mind. She had a feeling that if she went any faster; she'd throw up or worse. Though she couldn't even imagine what could be worse.

She shuffled out of the bathroom slowly making her way past the guestroom and to her room. Her haven. A place he hadn't seen nor touched. It was clean and free of his smell.

Her eyes teared up when she saw her bed. This was her bed. Hers and only hers. She pulled back the covers and crawled onto the mattress beneath the warm blankets. Clean blankets.

She sat long enough to drain half the bottle in her hand before she put the top back on and sat it on her nightstand. She felt a heavy dizziness spinning over her as soon as she lay down. She stayed completely still as the spell passed. Cracking an eye open in the direction of her clock, she noted a six and realized she'd spent the entire day in the shower.

She closed her eye again and covered her head with the blankets. More than glad she was already drifting off.

*************

Kenshin tossed and turned unable to find a comfortable position. It was just after midnight and already he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. His mind and it was not of no surprise was filled with thoughts, images and memories. He'd already had a cold shower and really didn't want another one but he couldn't control his thoughts and they drifted.

Always back to her they drifted.

He'd gotten to her house Friday afternoon and he'd been allowed to stay all the way till this morning. The fact that he was _allowed_ to see her on some days was beginning to bother him. He should be able to see her at anytime and on any day. She was his girlfriend. Didn't that give him some rights?

He sighed in frustration and rubbed his temples. He loved her. And very much it seemed. He'd spent all weekend learning the feel of her touch, the curves of her body, caressing every part with his hands and mouth. She'd become like a sort of addiction. He craved her attention and after a while the craving turned into a painful need. He needed to have her.

He hadn't told her he loved her yet. He didn't know how to go about it plus he wasn't too sure how she felt. Though when they made love he could see it. When she climaxed all her feelings were bared and he saw it, the longing, the desire and most importantly he saw love in her eyes. At those times he wanted to tell her. He almost had on Sunday. He'd refrained from saying it though because he didn't want to say it if she didn't feel the same way. He didn't want to scare her off.

Kenshin threw his arm over his eyes. He had never been one for commitment. He'd never really wanted a relationship but with Kaoru it was different. She had a way of getting to him; sometimes a mere glance was all it took to incite him. He sighed, he loved her so he really only had one choice. He would make her fall in love with him. Until then he'd hold off on saying it.

*************

His mood was quite obvious on Tuesday morning. The contrast in his temper from one day to next was quite drastic. Sunday, he'd been with her and though he hadn't slept, he'd been in a great mood on Monday.

Monday he hadn't really slept because of course he'd been alone and he'd thinking about her. So Tuesday morning found him in one of the darkest moods he'd ever fallen into. He'd spent the whole morning going over proper procedures with the security team. But it all seemed useless. They couldn't learn everything they needed during one hour a day lessons. He tapped his pen on the desk while he thought about it. Maybe he would send them off to camp.

He looked at his cloak, noting it was only eleven. He sighed; all right he would send them all to camp. One month is all he needed to have them broken in. He would find proper temporary replacements and then he would take the group over to Camp Toshimichi in Kyoto. He hadn't been there in a while. And a month a way from work was sounding better by the minute. They would all leave this Thursday. He'd get them settled in and then come back so that he could keep his date with Kaoru on Saturday.

Though he stopped to wonder, would she consider going to Kyoto with him? She didn't have to stay with him at the camp. He could put her up at a house or hotel whatever. Hm, He'd call her but he didn't have her number and she didn't have his. They were odd that way. Mark Monday, they'd been together seven weeks and he'd never bothered to ask. It hadn't seemed necessary since they always went out at the same time on Wednesdays and she always told him what time on Saturdays. He frowned in thought. They seemed to do a lot if not everything she wanted.

He dismissed the idea, knowing now wasn't the time, he was too stressed to think correctly specially in areas where she was concerned.

*************

Kaoru's head slowly emerged from a canopy of pillows and blankets. The world no longer spun, her eyes where dry and her head no longer hurt. Only her body ached. Kaoru sniffled then and blinked several times. She though that after two days she'd be all out of tears. Slowly she rose off the comfortable bed and headed for the shower.

When she got to the bathroom she decided that she'd be better off with a bath instead. It would be better for her protesting muscles. She turned the knobs, letting the tub fill half way before she turned the water off. It was still hard to believe that she'd moved them to the next step. The act had been easier that she'd anticipated, it was everything that'd happened afterwards that was now causing her breakdown.

Friday night was not as hazy as she would have liked. She hadn't had any alcohol or any pills so she couldn't blame her reaction to him as a mere side affect of some drug. Kaoru blinked back several more times trying to keep back a stream of tears. Tears she thought she didn't have. She poured the vanilla-jasmine scent into her bath water and slipped in. The water was hot and it burned but only for a moment. She sat back and leaned against the tub.

She'd felt him, Friday. All that he was, all that he'd been. Just at that moment, when her world had exploded into light and the earth had shattered beneath her essence. When they'd been connected she'd felt him and she'd wanted to keep him.

The rest of her days were hazy and she was glad, she couldn't live with so many memories. Kaoru picked up the washcloth on the side of the tub and dabbed her eyes. He hadn't noticed the difference between Friday night and the rest of the weekend. She was glad though still irritated. She felt a headache coming on.

This was all his fault. If only she hadn't seen that first flash of amber. If only she had never seen him. Kaoru vision blurred as tears slid down her cheeks, some even clinging to her lashes. Battoussai had appeared and she'd jump at the chance to feel his caress, to savor his kisses. He of course had done with her all that she pleased and even things she didn't know she wanted. He hadn't merely touched her. He had possessed her

Kaoru silent sobs grew to whimpers.

It's true she'd once loved him, very much in fact. What she didn't understand is why she still had feelings for him? Her anger and hate where still there of course just as strong as when she'd died but it seemed, at least at the moment anyways that she was angry at Kenshin and not Battoussai. Everything was becoming more complicated. Because though she hated Kenshin she desired Battoussai. And the more she saw Kenshin the more he seemed to regress.

Kaoru's shoulders shook as she cried. She had known deep in her heart that she couldn't possibly enter a relationship with Kenshin of all people and not leave unscathed. She might in the end, be able to walk away but she wouldn't get far. No spell or potion would be able to help her then. She would fall. His destruction would also be her own. She knew that now. It was times like these she whished she'd never woken up from that damn sleep she'd fallen into when she'd been in New York.

*************

Kaoru lifted her head, looking around; it seemed she'd fallen asleep in the tub again. She yawned as she pulled the plug and turned the shower on. Slowly she stood letting the light spray wash over her body. All the alcohol and pills she'd been having were starting to mess with her head. She never would have thought that this is how she'd be living her life. Chasing after a man she hated though wanted him so she could ruin him. To make matters worse she needed alcohol-induced courage to do what needed to be done.

She wasn't a coward. She was just weak. There's a difference. She turned the water off and stepped out. She dried herself off and for the first time caught sight of reflection. She saw the bruises he'd left on her body. She walked closer to the mirror frowning in thought. She remembered the bruises on her hips because it'd happened on Friday but the others.

She saw several bite marks and hickeys on her skin. Her fingers grazed over the dark bruises on her left breast and the bite mark under the right. Two matching bite-marks, one on each hip right over her pelvic bone. She turned and was surprised to see more on her back. The one bruise that took her focus though was the one on her right buttocks. She didn't really remember that one at all so it must have happened Sunday. She sighed and put her robe on.

She looked at her reflection with critical eyes. Her skin was glowing and her eyes despite being a little red, sparkled. She was a depraved woman. She shook her head disapprovingly and reached for her toothbrush.

She would order out tonight. She wasn't in the mood for cooking she was barely able to function even as it was. Kaoru put her toothbrush back when she was done and reached for the eye drops. That would relieve the itching for a while. Tonight she'd at least be able to get some sleep.

She turned the light off and stepped out of the bathroom. She would put some clothes on before she ordered out. Slowly she walked back to her room. The sound of the doorbell made her pause. She half turned; it was Tuesday so that couldn't be him.

Quickly she walked over to the door, securing her robe on the way before she opened the door. "Kenshin?"

"You're not dressed."

His eyes took in her appearance, slowly drinking her in. The white terry cloth robe she wore seemed much too big but it was cute. She looked cute. "Is something wrong?" He said as he brushed a trail of tears away from her cheeks.

It was Wednesday. She'd slept through a whole other day. Kaoru was dumbfounded for a moment though eventually she found her voice. "No," she said stepping back. "It's eye drops, my eyes were bothering me. Come in." She said quickly walking away from the door.

Kenshin looked after her, finding her behavior odd. She hadn't even kissed him hello. He closed the door behind him and walked into the dinning room rather than the living room. He put the food he'd brought with him down and took a seat at the table.

A moment later Kaoru emerged in a pink baby-doll dress. It'd been something from her teenage years but it was the first thing she'd found. She was in such a hurry she'd barely even had time to put underwear on. She'd had to rush her dressing because she'd been busy making the bed. He thought the guestroom was her bedroom and she couldn't have him thinking otherwise.

"You brought food," She said as she entered the kitchen.

Kenshin though disappointed by the fact that she'd put clothes, was very happy to see that the dress she'd chosen was nice and short. And see through it seemed under the kitchen light.

"Kenshin, your not listening."

Slowly his eyes drifted past her curves and settled on her face. She was blushing something he found very endearing. "Repeat what you said."

Kaoru smiled and shook her head. "Never mind." She said as she began to pile food on their plates. He didn't seem to take notice of her response instead he went back to watching her movements. Two whole days without her presence had felt like an eternity. He'd wanted to see her, to talk to her but most of all he'd wanted to touch her.

Kaoru handed him his plate and was a little startled by his gaze. Though his eyes were still purple they burned with dark blue flames. Liquid metal eyes she knew.

He took the plate and dropped his gaze. He breathed in an effort to calm the raging chaos of his thoughts. He wanted to spend sometime with her, talk to her. See if he could convince her to go off with him. He felt her walk around the table before she settled on a seat to his left.

*************

Kaoru swallowed the pills, washing them down with tap water before she turned the faucet off. She dried her hands and checked her reflection. She dabbed a little lip-gloss and fixed her hair before she went back out to the living room. Anxiety was really pushing on her nerves today. With a last deep breath, she shut the light off and walked out to the living room.

She strove for casual but she was afraid he might still see the uneasiness she felt. She sat next to him so that their arms and legs touched. He was warm. "So," she began. "You look like you have something to say."

He put his arm around her shoulders, tucking her under his arm. He smiled at her observance. "Aa." He answered, rubbing her arm. He had thought about this all day long and decided that subtlety would be his best bet. He turned his body so that he could talk to her face to face but was caught off guard by the small hand that settled on his lap, patting him soothingly. His eyes moved from his lap, slowly back to her face, whatever she had meant by the small gesture was lost on him. All he knew was that it provoked him.

Gently he took Kaoru's head in his hands; he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. Kaoru fought the urge to flee when he cupped her face even after all they'd done she still felt the need to runaway. Despite that though, when their lips touched she leaned into him.

He pulled back after a few seconds. His gaze had become clouded again. Looking at her face, so close, it was melting his restraints. He leaned in again this more forcefully, nipping and licking her lips. He tipped her head back kissing her almost savagely. Kaoru gripped the front of his shirt trying to keep her thoughts. But he was insistent; kissing her until she forgot her name and her vision swam. She gasped for air when finally released her. Her eyes where tightly shut as she struggle to regain her breath.

Kenshin's breath came in short puffs that stirred her fringe. His blood burned with a fervent need, a need that seemed to increase the more he kissed her. Having caught his breath, he looked at her as his thumb ran over her bottom lip, caressing the fleshy skin. Her eyes were slow in opening but when they did, she gazed at him with near black colored eyes. The look incited his heart and he could feel the changing in the color of his eyes. His voice was low and rumbled deeply when he spoke. "Go away with me."

Kaoru's mouth opened in surprise.

I hope you liked this chapter. I was iffy about it. I liked chapter thirteen best but I guess they can't all be like that. :::Sigh::: More Battoussai would have been nice though. 

No small notes for this chapter, I don't believe there's anything I need to go over but if you have questions email me.


	16. chapter 15NH

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Fifteen

*************

Mid-afternoon found her in a panicked state. She still didn't known what had made her agree to go? But she had and now she was running between her closet and her suitcase. Wondering what she should take and what should be left behind. She would need several outfits; he had said a month. A whole month.

She threw her last pair of pants into the suitcase and snapped it closed. She dragged it to the living room where two other bags sat. She looked at the Louis Vuitton luggage for a moment wondering if maybe she should change bags. Grr, she pulled her hair in frustration. She was making too much of this. It was only Kenshin. She turned and walked back to her room. She just had to dress now.

Quickly she put on her clothes knowing that if she looked at the outfit too much that she'd want to change out of it. She had decided to wear black pinstripe skirt, menswear pattern with an uneven hem and pleats. The wide waistband rode low on her hips and looked great with the winter white turtleneck she'd decided to wear. The sexy boyfriend turtleneck sweater was silk and cashmere in a fitted, cropped silhouette. It was warm and soft; it was great now that the wind had picked up. She stood in front of the mirror, turning to the sides as she examined the effect it had once combined. All she needed was her shoes. And she knew exactly which ones she would take too. She had satin cuffed pumps with rhinestone rings around the ankle bracelets. The champagne color was an exact match to the turtleneck.

She sat on the bed, putting her shoes on, that way she'd be ready when he came. She sighed and moved to her vanity table. A quick brush of the hair and then some lick gloss that was all she needed to be done.

*************

Kenshin looked at his watch, swearing as he swerved around a car. He was going to be late. Well not really late since he'd left work two hours early so they could beat traffic. The point was he wanted to be at her house by four not six. He swore louder and turned the corner, tires screeching as he made a right turn. He raced down the street, knowing he was almost there.

He turned the corner and slowed his speed. His car crept in front of her house until finally he came to a complete stop. He pulled the keys from his car and quickly strode out to her door. He rang the doorbell and looked at his watch, four o'clock. He almost smiled.

He heard the soft clicking of her heels from behind the door, it must have meant she was ready. He ran a hand through his bangs and straightened just a second before the door opened.

His lips parted in surprise as he took the sight of her in. She was much too beautiful. The white little sweater she wore stopped a couple of inches from her belly button and because her skirt rode low on her hips, he could see her mid drift. The tantalizing skin seemed to call out to him and his body responded without question or thought. His eyes darkened in hue, feeling the stirring of the demon within.

Kaoru smiled at the expression on his face. "Kenshin," she drawled, amusement lacing through her words when she spoke. "My luggage is inside."

Quickly he halted his straying thoughts. He nodded and moved past her. Smelling the sweet scent of jasmine as he made his way inside. It had been less then ten hours since he'd left her home and since he'd kissed her. He shook his head disapprovingly. Self-control is something he had always prided himself in. But since meeting her, he'd begun to loose hold on his restraints. He never knew himself to have such a thin hold on the control he had so carefully built up. He picked up the suitcase and the two matching bags, easily carrying them out of the house.

Kaoru quickly locked the door and followed him out to his car. She watched as he shifted the luggage to one side, freeing his right hand and opened the door to the car for her. Kaoru smiled at the gesture as she sat down comfortably in the seat of his car. This trip she hoped, would turn out to be very educational, she wanted to see where they stood.

The sound of the closing trunk brought her out of her thoughts. Her sapphire eyes watched him as he got into the car and noted that his face had set into an emotionless mask. Keeping his face averted as he turned the ignition on.

Kaoru shifted in her seat feeling annoyed at his actions. She wasn't sure what had happened but she didn't care. She didn't like to be ignored, not by him or anyone else for that matter. Purposely she crossed her legs, left over right, exposing her leg as the uneven hem shifted to the side.

He blinked, seeing her from the corner of his eye. Still he didn't turn in her direction. He wasn't going to give into the slightest of provocations. Yet his hold on the steering wheel tightened and his knuckles turned white on the knob as he shifted gears.

Kaoru turned her face away, her mouth forming into a pout. Maybe she could ease up on things during the drive. There was no need to start pushing buttons so soon. She sighed under her breath. "What are going to with me Kenshin?"

At that he did turn. Not so much at the question but at the tone. So soft and wistful but more than that she sounded weary. "What do you mean?" Her face was turned away and it was hard for him to see her expression.

She smiled despite herself. "You wouldn't take me to camp with you, so where am I going to stay?" She kept her face turned away, watching the streets fly by. She opened the window letting the air play with her hair, caressing her face with icy hands. It had been so long, since she'd enjoyed the day, simply because it was just a day.

"I've rented a house in the city."

Kaoru turned away from her window, turning to look at him, she wondered why he would want to keep her in Kyoto while he was off training. "So I'll see you on the weekends, rather than on the usual days?"

"Aa," he confirmed.

The warm scent of autumn drifted into the car as it stopped at a red light. "Are you going to show me where you'll be staying before you drop me off?"

"There's no women allowed."

"But I won't be staying I just want to look and see." She said lowering her voice into a more persuasive tone. He kept his tone even when he answered rather than annoyed as he was beginning feel. "No." There were rules and regulations, an order which needed to be followed. Besides he had his reasons for not wanting her at the camp, rather for not wanting her to be seen. He had never been the jealous type but just the same he felt a twinge of possessiveness flaring in the depths of his soul.

"But Kenshin?"

"No Kaoru," he turned his face looking at her sternly. She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, turning her face away in annoyance. This was going to be a long trip.

*************

Long and silent. The ride had been, awkward. She hadn't spoken to him since he'd snapped at her. She was annoyed still. It wasn't such a big deal perhaps but she was curious and she wanted to see where he'd be. She needed to know where he'd be.

Twilight bled into night just as they entered the streets of Kyoto. The breeze seemed stronger, howling against the car. They drove slower now that they were within the city limits. She looked around feeling a sense of deja vu as they drove through streets she knew though she'd never seen them before.

The car came to a halt in front of traditional looking house. Tall and narrow with exquisite detail. It was beautiful. She opened her door and stepped out. The air had grown chilly and she felt herself shivering in response. A passing wind blew her skirt up as it howled by; quickly she held it down, blushing to the roots at having her thighs exposed. Another gust of wind blew her hair around her face playing with the ends in a familiar way.

Kenshin closed the trunk and made his way to the house. His mood had grown darker the further away they got from Tokyo. He was angry, though he wasn't sure why. He opened the door, holding it open for her to come in.

Kaoru strode into the dark house, watching her step as she went inside. The light came on a moment after Kenshin closed the door. So there was electricity after all. She walked in slowly feeling a stronger sense of deja vu, she stepped all the way to the back not surprised to see a yard. She opened the door and walked out, smelling the scent of flowers and rain. Walking a little further out into the yard, she paused feeling a small prickling behind her eyes.

This house . . .

It was just like the one from her dream. That long dream she'd fallen into when she was sick. She remembered bits and pieces from that time. She remembered being found out in the yard; Kenshin had come for her, angry that she was out in the rain again.

She remembered that.

He'd taken her by the arm and dragged her into the house. Kicking the door to her room open as he waltz inside, dragging her behind him until he sat her in front of the fireplace. He'd wrapped her in a blanket before he'd spoken, asking her something. Something she couldn't remember thought she knew it had upset her.

No.

She was wrong on that, she'd already been upset, she'd lashed out at him after she'd fallen victim to his eyes. Eyes that froze and burned. Eyes that bewitched her still. She hated him.

"What are you doing?"

Her face had been tilted up, looking to the heavens for what could only be guidance, perhaps. At the sound of his voice she'd snapped her head down. This wasn't then, she reminded herself. She turned her back to him and dabbed the sleeve of her sweater over her eyes. This wasn't then. She'd been mad then. She wasn't now; she knew what she was doing. She knew why she was angry. She knew why she hated him. Of course now wasn't then.

His hand on her arm startled her. Her eyes opened wide in fright, for a split second she hadn't known him. That look in her eyes, he'd seen it before. In that one dream. That one dream when he'd killed for her. The only difference was, she hadn't been afraid of him then.

His hand dropped to his side as walls of ice were built between them. The amount of control she held over him, it was too much for someone he had only just met. "Dinner." He said in a tone, he knew all to well.

A tone she recognized as well. Battousai. She'd know him anywhere. She turned the rest of her body towards him, searching his eyes for confirmation. She drew closer to him, so close she could make out every one of his lashes, the arch of his brows and the curve of his lips. Such a sensual lips. 'He really was beautiful.' She closed her eyes wishing it were another life, wishing so much tears escaped their confines as she leaned forward and kissed him. A warm, chaste kiss full of wishes, she knew would never be.

She sidestepped him and quickly made her way back into the house. Kenshin stood there, starring at that vast sky wondering what it was about her that called to him so much. Why did he feel responsible for the mood she was in?

Sometimes during very small flashes he could see beyond her gaze, past the veil that often covered the pain that lurked and shadowed her eyes. It felt like she harbored grief, such an unfathomable sorrow. It pained as well as accused him. And he didn't understand.

Why did he feel responsible for her unhappiness?

*************

She lay there with her eyes opened, starring at the ceiling. Morning had come and she hadn't been able to catch even the slightest wink of sleep. Silence had ruled their evening as it had during the day. They'd gone to some restaurant near by. She couldn't quite remember it's name. The whole evening seemed to be like that. She just couldn't quite remember. Kenshin had sat there with ice over his eyes, acting cold and detached. He'd barely even looked at her.

Sniffling a bit, she blinked a couple of times.

It was one thing for her to be mad at him; she had every right after all. But for _him_ to get mad at her after everything he'd done, she couldn't stand it. She hated him. So much sometimes she thought the feeling would eat her alive. She couldn't understand why it bothered her so much.

It'd been sometime after ten when they'd arrived at the house. They'd walked back from the restaurant in silence. He'd opened the door and held it open, letting her in. For a splint second when she'd walked past him, she'd felt him stiffen. She thought he would apologize then but instead he'd caught her wrist and given her a key just before her turned and left. He'd left. Just like that and without a word.

She'd half a mind to jump a plane back to Tokyo. He hadn't even left her any money. What kind of man brought a woman all the way out here and then didn't give her any money to buy groceries? Bastard.

She made a derisive sound at the back of her throat and she flung the covers back. Agitation had just stepped up a notch. No good for nothing bastard. She was sorry she'd lost sleep over him now. She stomped over to the bathroom. A quick shower and then she'd be off. She'd spend the day out. No thinking of him at all. Her plotting could wait a day.

She stepped out of the house dressed in a white cord mini skirt and pink sleeves turtle neck. The knee-high stockings looked great with the white prada boots she'd bought sometime ago. The wind blew strong and she was glad she'd put her hair up into a ponytail. She would probably get groceries first, make a little lunch and then back out.

*************

It was like she had two left feet. It had been that long since she'd been to a club, no wonder she'd forgotten how to dance. Luckily she'd found herself a nice gay guy by the name of Tai. He'd offered to take her to a straight club but she'd opted for the safe choice and joined him at Miyuki's. A place Tai knew well.

After a great many drinks some of which where bought by girls, she was able to dance. She felt the alcohol taking its effect as she began to loosen up. Dropping her inhibitions. She closed her eyes and fell into the rhythm, flowing with the beat until there was nothing outside the hypnotic trance.

Streams of smoke flowed from machines near the front, close where the DJ stood. Bass laden music flowed from speakers in the walls and the roof. The thumping rhythm along with the ultraviolet lights made the place appear like something out of a movie. Something unreal.

It was almost four.

They had left the club sometime ago and she was on her way home. They were in a taxi she knew because she'd cracked an eye open. Her feet were killing her while the rest of body felt like she'd just been through work out. Next time she went out to a club, no boots. She felt the taxi slowing down and again she opened just one eye. Yeah, this was her stop. She pulled some money out of her boot and presses it into Tai's hand.

"Wait, here." Tai's requested as he helped Kaoru out of the cab. "I'll only be two minutes." He waited for the taxi driver to nod before he took his new friend into her house. She leaned heavily on him as they walked across the sidewalk and to her porch. "Can you make it Kaoru, or do you want me to come inside?"

Kaoru straightened at the front door. "I can make it Tai, thanks for letting me tag along." She opened her eyes and smiled at him drunkenly. "You've got my number call me Monday and we'll do something." Kaoru nodded at him. "Sure, "she said waiting for him to unlock her door. He pressed the key into her hand and waited till she was in before he walked back out to the cab.

Kaoru stumbled just a little at first, seeing as how dark the whole house was. She made her way up the stair and into the bathroom. She was going to have a bath. She fell near the tub but still she didn't bother to turn the light on. She stripped out of her clothes and boots before she stepped into the shower. Having turned on the hot water first, all she had to do now was adjusted the cold. She sighed, feeling the tension living her body. Her shower was brief. She'd shampooed, washed and stepped out.

After wrapping a towel around her head, she headed out to the bedroom. All she wanted was to fall onto that bed and sleep. A dreamless slumber. Yawning she crawled under the blankets. She tucked her head under several pillows and proceeded to fall asleep.

*************

Kenshin entered the darkened house. It was just a bit past five am and he was officially off for the weekend. He wasn't due back till five am Monday morning. Plenty of time to make up with Kaoru. His step was light, soundless as he made his way up the stairs and to their room. He stepped through the open door, his eyes quickly darting to the open window. His eyes drifted to the bed and over the small form hidden underneath a mountain of blankets and pillows. He put his bag down on the floor and walked across the room to the window, drawing the curtains closed. He would have closed the window too but she seemed to like the cold.

Moving to the bed, he sat down on a corner and proceeded to pull his boots off. His military garb was easier to pull off and soon he was undressed. He'd showered before coming over so there was nothing to do but sleep a while before she woke up so he could apologize. Now only in his boxers, he lifted a corner off the blankets and slid underneath. The bed dipped slightly with his weight causing her to mumble a protest.

Recognizing him even in sleep, she scooted closer when she felt the warmth of his body. Kenshin smiled and scooped her into his arms, immediately becoming aware of the fact that she was nude. Swallowing a sudden lump in his throat, he closed his eyes and breathed. 

The face that had been hiding underneath a mountain of pillows now slowly began to make its way out. Yawning as she finally freed her head out from underneath the pillows. She pressed close to him, smelling the familiar scent of his skin.

Kenshin could smell the alcohol on her breath as soon as she freed her face. "You've been drinking."

.

Same as chapter thirteen. The chapter is much larger than this but FF.net won't let me put up anything over PG-13 so if you want to read the original chapter go to my website. 

Small Notes: The need to touch her has been ruling over him for sometime but it isn't till Thursday afternoon that he actually begins to feel frustrated at his lack of control around her. So when she starts to push him on the subject of camp, he snapped at her. Both annoyed and somewhat angry, they now reach Kyoto. Exchanging very few words between them that night. After dinner he walked her home, handed her a key and left. Kaoru now thoroughly bothered decided that she wouldn't think about him. Spending all of Friday out, she didn't bother coming home till sometime around four am. Only an hour before Kenshin came home. 


	17. chapter 16

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Sixteen

*************

The air felt warm, too warm in fact to sleep in. Slowly she opened her eyes adjusting them to the dimness of the room. She stirred a bit and immediately felt sore. 'No more clubs,' she thought as she yawned. At least not for a while.

"Finally."

Her head snapped to the left making her hiss in pain. She closed her eyes as a throbbing ache ran between her temples. She didn't have to see him anyways. "What time did you get in?"

"An hour after you." He smirked as he stood, leaving the chair he'd been sitting on and walking to her bedside.

Kaoru massaged her temples for a moment before she dared to open her eyes She studied him for a long moment, noting there was something odd in the way he looked at her. Her mouth parted in half asked question before heat rushed to her face and her ears grew hot.

His eyes glittered in amusement. So now she remembered. "You've slept half the day." He sat on the bed, looking down at her reddening face. "Didn't you want your gift today?"

His smirk grew large when she groaned and hid her face. "It's time to get up koibito." He said over the pillow covering her head.

Sighing in frustration, she pulled the pillow away. Her large sapphire eyes were narrowed menacingly though the dark blush on her face lessened the effect.

"Take these." he said placing two small tablets in her palm. The lines on her brow smoothed as she looked at him. An expectant gaze that didn't go unnoticed. He half turned and retrieved the bottled water he'd brought up. Snapping the top open before he handed her the beverage. She took the offered water without word. Placing the pills on her tongue before she gulped a large portion of the water. Handing him the bottle, she lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. A nap would do nicely just about now.

"Kaoru."

She opened her eyes and spared him a glance. Why couldn't he let her sleep? "Aren't you tired?" She yawned. Blinking slowly at him and missing the look that flashed over his eyes.

"Come on." He said flinging her covers off. Kaoru yelped realizing she was still undressed. Now fully awake she clutched at the remaining piece of blanket. "Let go of my blanket." She hissed.

"Modest by and a de- "

"All right!" She yelled interrupting him. "I'll get up." She swallowed the curse words at the tip of her tongue and yanked her blanket out of his grasp. She stood on the opposite side of the bed and wrapped the blanket securely before she strode past him and into the bathroom.

He laughed and began to change the covers on the bed. She was cranky this morning but it wasn't anything he couldn't fix with aspiring and a present.

*************

She stood in front of the mirror trying to decide if she should wear it up or down. Up, she held it back with her hand or down ,she thought letting it go.

"Kaoru." He knocked on the door.

Up or down, she was already dressed, all she had to do was decide on how she wanted to wear her hair. Up or down.

"Kaoru."

"Kami," she yelled from behind the bathroom door. "Can't I even fix my hair in peace this morning."

"It's past twelve." He reminded as he opened the door and let himself in. She glared and strode past him, her hair swooshing to the sides angrily. His eyes of course settled on the curve of her back as she strode past him.

Kaoru grabbed her purse off the bed and stomped out of the room. It's like he was been annoying on purpose. Her brow crinkled in thought. He was almost playful today. She couldn't remember him being that way before. At least not in this life. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, thinking as well as waiting.

A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes, watching her just standing there. He reached the bottom of the stairs without sound, grabbing her by the back he turned her around and pressed her against the wall.

A starling shriek escaped her lungs until she realized it was him. "Baka!" She yelled into his amused face.

"You look nice." He said stroking her thigh. His eyes drank in her angry features, the flash of steel in her cobalt eyes. Her face though angry seemed to loose it's scowl. Instead her lip stuck out into a little pout. Tempting as it was, he squeezed her hip and let her go. He strode over to the door and waited for her to join him.

She did but she refused to look at him. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of knowing how much he got to her. Arrogant son-of bitch. She huffed a little as she got into the car.

"Where do you want to go." He said as he started the car.

"Takashiyama's."

He frowned a moment trying to remember where that was. "Is that on Karasuma-dori?"

"No Kawara-machi in Shimogyo-ku." She said as she looked out the window.

Hm, he knew where that was though it'd been a long time since he'd been to that area.

They drove in silence though unlike before, it wasn't an angry silence just a quite ride to the department store.

Kaoru's eyes grew large when they neared the parking-lots. She'd been dying to come here. This place had all the best stores. It was heaven for a true shop-aholic. She could already smell the aroma of brand new pursues and leather shoes.

He turned the ignition off once he parked the car, surprised as to how quickly she got out and moved over to his door.

"Hurry Kenshin." She said pulling on his arm the moment he stepped out of the car. He was just able to slam the door close before he was dragged off. He didn't understand what her hurry was, it's not like the place would just get up and move.

The moment they stepped in, the first thing she did was to breath. Inhaling that yummy scent that wafts to your nose when you first step into a department store, a mixture of perfume and clothes. Of shoes, purses and make-up. It'd been a while since she'd actually been shopping, real shopping that is.

She clung to his arm the way she often did with her father, feeling excited about the prospect of new clothes though in this case it would be jewelry.

He didn't know brining her to a store could make her this happy. "What are you going to buy me?" Her tone was hopeful, her face lit with joy. It made him feel like he should buy her the entire mall. To keep her this happy he would do just about anything. "Anything you want." Was the only response appropriate enough for that pretty face she made when she looked at him.

She nodded and pulled on his arm. A tingle ran along the palm of her hands a feeling she often got when she just had to buy something. She was a compulsive shopper which is why she didn't leave the house while in Tokyo. She could easily put her father in the poor house so because of that she opted for staying in and away from the stores.

They stopped in front of one of her favorite stores. The glimmer and sparkle of jewelry was everywhere. She already knew what wanted but she would have to see if that's what he bought her or if he backed out and bought her something cheap instead.

Kenshin had never been to Tiffany's. To be honest, he'd never been to any sort of jewelry store before. This place, he observed, was full of men with young pretty women. Men that seemed much too old for the girls they were with. He at least didn't look his age plus he was barely in his thirties.

"Oi," the sound over voice interrupted his thoughts. They'd paused in front of one of the glass casings. She'd turned and now stood in front of him, so close he could feel the warmth of her body.

"Welcome to Tiffany and Co. I'm Hitomi, how can I help you today?"

Kaoru had turned at the sound of the young woman's voice, smiling lightly she greeted the woman back. "Hi, I'm looking for the Dragonfly charm bracelet, it's from your nature collection."

The young woman nodded. "A very fine choice."

Kaoru's grip on his hand increased when the woman turned to get her bracelet. The sales woman had noticed Kenshin and her eyes had strayed, too much for Kaoru's liking.

"Here we go," Hitomi said as she came back with the bracelet.

Kaoru took it, admiring the detail. Thirty-two round brilliant diamonds, pavé-set on a platinum link bracelet, 7" long. She'd been dreaming about it for a while. She had hoped to get it for Christmas from her father but it looked like she might not have to wait that long. "Kenshin." She said handing it to him. Giving him the chance to examine it as well as to guess the price. If he could then he could still back out and buy her something else.

Kenshin took the small piece of jewelry. It was pretty, the small dragonfly is probably what had caught her attention. "Get it, if its want you want."

Kaoru smiled. "We'll take it then."

"Should I gift wrap it?" Hitomi said as she picked up the bracelet from were Kenshin had laid it along with his credit card.

"No, I'll wear it out."

The sales woman nodded at Kaoru's words leaving for a moment to ring the item up as well as to remove the security tags. She came back a couple of minutes later handing Kenshin the receipt as well as the bracelets' box in one of Tiffany's bags. The bracelet it self she put on the counter in front of the two.

Kaoru picked it up and handed it to Kenshin, almost jumping in place with the excitement she felt as she held out her wrist. He'd actually bought it, just like that. Her heart fluttered in her chest. He hadn't even looked at the receipt.

Kenshin took the item and put it around her wrist, brushing his fingers over it lightly once he was done. He pulled his hand away, watching the odd expression on her face as she looked at her wrist. Her eyes were slow in meeting his though he noticed the same look in her eyes when she looked at him. "Kenshin," she breathed his name with an odd inflection, something he had never heard before but liked. "I love it," She said just before she pounced. Catching him off guard, he stumbled a step as he caught her around the waist.

Her arms were quick in pulling him down to her, kissing him with an insatiable thirst. The throbbing of her heart pulsed through her veins as she kissed him, melting his heart with the heat of her touch. Lack of air caused her hold to weaken, releasing him with an audible gasp, leaving them both panting for air.

She panted against him, resting her face against his chest until she could breath again. Sighing she pulled back, avoiding eyes now she kissed his chin and pulled on his hand. "Let's go." She rasped, deliberately evading other peoples gaze as they stepped out of the store.

Kenshin, who'd allowed himself to get dragged out, walked close to her now, letting her pull him by the hand. His thoughts still too busy processing her behavior. Her gratitude though unexpected was very welcomed. He hadn't expected for her to act that way. He was slow to realize. "You like shopping."

"Yeah," Kaoru conformed as she led them to the food court. She still couldn't believe she'd kissed him just because he'd bought her something. True the bracelet's cost was over two thousand dollars but still.

She tried not to sigh.

Maybe they'd eat at a restaurant instead of the food court that way she could have some wine. She needed wine though the thought of getting drunk again didn't appeal to her, not when he was home anyways. She didn't want last night's events to repeat themselves.

"Let's just go in here." She said as she led him into one of the many restaurants with in the mall. A nice little Italian restaurant with a homey feeling, soft lighting, small tables and cozy booths. They were greeted and seated in less than five minutes.

She was glad having chosen one of the booths; she sat extremely close to him, resting her head against his chest. This way she didn't have to make eye contact and if she lied well she could do it with a straight face. Her left hand rested over her stomach while her right, the one with her bracelet lay over his lap. She was waiting for her wine. They hadn't talked since the jewelry store and now she sat here waiting for her wine, needing the alcohol-induced courage to talk to him, to look him in the eye and lie.

The constant stroking of his fingers was going to drive her insane. He was acting so . . . . . so affectionate. Grrhh. The most irritating part about it was that she knew why he was acting like this. It was because of last night. Damn it to hell. He was acting like this because of her. Because she'd touched him like some sort of slut, stroking and groping him.

Her skin broke out into goose bumps and she wasn't sure if it was because she'd liked being that way with him or if it was because she was so disgusted her skin crawled. She sighed unconsciously gripping his leg.

His fingers stopped stroking her arm causing her to turn and make the mistake of looking at him. His eyes were dark pools of amethyst, sizzling with restrained hunger. She blinked trying not to get caught. She knew those eyes. She was afraid of them, especially when they turned to gold. He was there then lurking just behind.

Her eyes lit up when the waiter came, not only had he saved her but he had her wine. The dark red liquid swooshed into the glass as it was poured, emitting an intoxicating aroma. She took her glass when handed it to, drinking it down in two gulps. It burned and warmed her tummy all at the same time, it was good and since she hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch for that matter it wouldn't be long before she had a buzz. That's all she needed, she thought closing her eyes. Aware of Kenshin speaking to the waiter, ordering their food while she just sat there, holding her empty glass and resting against his chest.

Kenshin felt her relaxing against him while he ordered their food, his attention darted back to her once the waiter was gone. "Do you want more?" He asked, taking the glass out of her hands.

"Yeah," she answered without looking; holding her eyes closed until she'd built herself enough courage more than usual as to avoid thinking about the previous night.

He refilled her cup and handed it back to her, stroking her hair as she drank it. She could drink as much as she wanted when she was him; he would take care of her after all. He just didn't like it when she did with strangers, aside from it making him jealous anyone could take advantage of her in that state. He sighed and curved his thoughts away from that, knowing it would only make him jealous which would serve only in making him mad.

They'd had a good day so far, he only hoped that the rest of the weekend was the same. 'To a good weekend,' he thought as he picked up his glass and took a long drink, draining more than half the wine in that one gulp. She sipped hers now, which was just as well he didn't want to carry her out. The thought made him smile thought he couldn't say why.

*************

There was a heavy, lethargic feeling flowing through her body, alcohols' affect. She yawned a bit not out of sleep but rather out of fatigue. They'd eaten their meal, finished their dessert and eventually gone back to the mall for further shopping. They were in the car now with bags in the trunk, stuff she'd seen and just had to have. Presents, because she hadn't paid for them herself.

She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the seat. Maybe she'd take a nap when she got home, she hadn't sleep for two days. Friday she'd been too upset to think and Saturday well . . . . . she didn't want to think about that.

"Kaoru."

She opened her eyes somewhat surprised to see him so close. She must have fallen asleep somewhere along the way. "We're home already?" Asking though she already knew. She watched him nod just before he moved back, giving her enough room to step out without really leaving her side.

She took the extended hand, feeling a slight jolt when they touched. "Static," she reasoned knowing he'd felt it too. She swayed once she stood and leaned on him for support.

Kenshin closed the door and locked the car. She looked well enough to walk but he wouldn't make her if he didn't have to. He picked up her bags with his left hand, feeling the strain of their weight a moment before he picked her up as well.

"Kenshin." Her startled cry was close to his ear. She wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling. "You'll drop me."

"I won't," he assured as he sat her on his lap and opened the door. He strode into the house and kicked the door close.

"You can let go."

He would have if she hadn't rested her head on his shoulder. Walking the rest of the way in he realized he would have to carry her up to the second floor. Taking a deep breath, he treaded up the stairs taking two at a time until he reached the top. Several strides later, he reached their room. Thankful that the door was open, he walked in and over to the bed where he carefully lay her down. She wasn't asleep quiet yet but she seemed close. He put the bags down by the closest and went back down to lock up. You could never be too careful. Just because you lived in a nice area didn't mean you where safe. Kaoru's father knew that first hand, having had his wife murdered. Kenshin wouldn't make the same mistake. He finished checking the windows and strode over to the kitchen.

Thinking ahead of time, he took two water bottles from the fridge and headed back up to their room. The bottle of aspiring was still there so he wouldn't have to look for it later. He walked back into the room finding her just where he'd left her. He smiled and removed her boots so she could sleep comfortably.

Yawning he realized he hadn't really slept in the last two days plus she had a way of making the bed look alluring. He kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket off to the side. He would keep her company for a while. Usually he would take his slacks and shirt off but she was still dressed so it wouldn't be right. He scooped her into his arms once he laid beside her, sighing in contentment as he closed his eyes. It was still hard to believe he'd fallen in love with her so quickly. So soon after meeting but he had. And whether it had been love at first sight or not he wasn't sure, he just knew that he did and with time she would return the sentiment. _Maybe then _he yawned. _Maybe then they could get married._

I love battousai :::sigh::: I'm going to be sad when this story comes to an end but I still have have the Impious Empress and I can truly say that aside from Lost in the Madness that other story is really up there for me. I think it's going to become a lot of people's favorite too. 

This chapter is pretty straight forward so I don't believe it needs an overview. But if you have any questions email me. 


	18. chapter 17

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Seventeen 

*************

The bed dipped slightly as bent to kiss her good bye, his lips brushed against a bare shoulder, lingering a second on the soft supple skin. She mumbled and turned, hiding further into the protective shelter of her blankets. He smiled, watching her hide her head under a pillow, leaving her just the way he'd found her; he closed the door behind him as he left.

Slowly she opened her eyes, seeing nothing but black, even in her inebriated state she could feel him leaving. She didn't hear the click of the door or his footsteps as he left. But she knew when he was gone because it's then she became cold.

She allowed him enough time to get to his car and drive away before she flung the covers off. She sat on the bed a moment, gaining some balance before she rose. With a last deep breath she stood. Swaying a little in front of the bed, she pulled all the covers off and tossed the pillows aside.

Staggering a step, she paused and tried again, walking towards the bathroom with cautious steps. Her ritual here in Kyoto was much like the one back home. She found the knobs of the shower in the dark, knew which way to turn them to get hot water rather than warm. She stepped under the shower and began washing, working with automated movements she gave her task no further thought.

Her robe was off to the right and she had no trouble finding it when she finally stepped out from her bath. The thick terry cloth robe covered her hands and dragged on the floor as she walked over to the sink. She brushed her teeth repeatedly till the familiar taste of copper filled her mouth. She rinsed and dabbed her mouth with the sleeve of her robe, avoiding the mirror or anything else that might show her a glimpse of her reflection.

Her body felt heavy and her mind felt light. A hazy blanket of black seemed to call out to her and she knew it was sleep calling her back. She pulled a towel free and wrapped it around her hair, yawing as she walked back to the room. Shuffling past his side of the bed and back to hers. Her eyes were closed more than open now and she struggled in her step. With her energy almost spent she unexpectedly slumped on the bed and slowly slid to the floor. Kaoru closed her eyes and tucked her hands under her cheek, already on her way to sleep.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Eyes of liquid gold blazed with dark intent. His voice was dangerously low and possessive sending shivers down her spine when he spoke. "Is this what you wanted?"

Confused beyond thought all she could do was gap at him.

"All this taunting?" He went on.

Unable to find her voice, Kaoru shook her head in denial

"No," he mused drawing closer. "So you didn't go through all this just to make me angry?" He stopped in front of her, gazing into pools of blue, wide and disbelieving. "To make me jealousy?" He drawled, caressing her cheek. Helpless against his touch, she leaned in; her eyes fluttering close in the process. His hand slid against her jaw, softly stroking the skin as it slid down the curve of her neck. "Do you want me to kiss you?" His voice was velvety and hypnotic so it took a moment for her to comprehend what it was he was saying. Seconds passed before she became coherent enough to understand his words, which had the expected reaction, her eyes snapped open shocked by the forwardness. Her lips parted but words lacked solidity, refusing to form.

A lascivious smile touched his features, hastening the pace of her heart. "I think you do." With only those words as warning, he trapped her in a firm embrace, catching her lips in surprisingly gentle kiss. Slowly drawing her in, molding her body to his. He brushed his lips against hers again and again, each time increasing pressure until she slumped against his form. With a surreptitious intended he ran his tongue along her lower lip. Lips that parted in surprise, he groaned as his tongue slipped inside. He placed a hand at the nape of her neck and tilted her head, finally deepening the kiss.

She melted against his body as his tongue tangled with hers in a sensual dance, kissing her passionately and urgently. She became lost, swept into a whirlwind of emotions, a place where there was nothing but him and only him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, wanting to never let go. Always like this, she wished more than anything to always remain like this.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Kaoru woke with a start, confused as to where she was. Realizing she was alone, she began to cry. This wasn't fair. Her cry turned into a sob, a heart-wrenching sob, because this wasn't fair. If she was going to remember then she wished she would only remember the bad moments between them because remembering things like this was going to rip her apart.

Their first kiss . . . . .

He had no right to haunt her like this, to hurt her so many decades later. Tears trailed down her cheeks in long wet streams. What right did he have to still hold her captive like this? Helpless against his touch and a victim to his love, she clutched the sides of her head as she began to shake, trembling almost violently.

This was only a taste of the end. She realized that as she pulled out handfuls of hair. Insane without him she would be forced to live in the past or so mad with hate she would be forced into violence, killing him or herself in an attempt to reach the next life. Hopefully then she'd get a clean slate where she wouldn't be bound by the past.

*************

Like a moth to the flame, there was no escaping him. Too deep in her thoughts she'd cut herself. On accident of course but what she'd done after . . . . . She'd let the wound bleed and bleed until she felt dizzy and faint. Weakly moving around, she'd cleaned up and dressed the wound before coming back to her room. She lay on her bed now, curled into a fetal position. Her eyes were closed, taking deep breaths in an attempt to even her breathing. Her emotional pain sought an outlet and she was afraid of it manifesting into self-mutilation.

Her thoughts no matter how much she sought to vanish them kept circling back to him and to their time together. Not the dream, she refused to think about that but to their weekend. This last weekend to be precise. He'd been different, touching her hair and her face. Caressing her lovingly. She'd almost cried. Her eyes had teared and she'd choked back a sob. He'd been confused, asking her what was wrong. Of course she hadn't answered him only worrying him more. He'd comforted her in the only way he knew how and that had nearly crushed her heart. She was being dragged in two different directions and it was only a matter of time before she broke. She would shatter into a million pieces that no one would ever be able to put back together again.

Things where getting worse for her. She couldn't be with him anymore, at least not without taking some sort of drug beforehand. She was afraid of where they were headed. Things where progressing extremely quickly between them, sleeping with him, it wasn't just about sex anymore it was love and she knew it. He made love to her. And it was killing her. A soft sob escaped her lips and she squeezed her eyes tighter.

Her hate seemed to intensify when she was alone. It pained her and reminded her of all that he had done. The suffering he had caused and all she would have to endure when they finally where apart. She knew how it was to loose the one you loved. Another sob escaped her.

She had caught herself watching him sleep. Moving strands out of his eyes and stroking his cheek. The feelings she'd felt were familiar, the flutter of her heart and the softening of her eyes. She felt it might be the beginning of her demise. Try as she might she couldn't fight herself forever. She had been in love with him once, actually several times and it was only a matter of time before she fell in love with him again. Despite the hate and the hurt there was still a small part of her waiting for his embrace.

She hated that part, that weakness. It wouldn't be there if they'd been unhappy. It wouldn't be there if she hadn't loved him so much. She fisted her hands and curled tighter into herself, seeking protection from her own heart.

One day this would be over. One day she would see him writhing in agony over his loss. She had yet to devise the plan to ruin his life. But one of these days she would find a way she would have to before it was too late. Before she fell in love with him again.

As determined as she was, she had a feeling that the sentiment she felt would in the end subdue the anger eating away at her heart. She couldn't allow that to happen. Hate would win over love. She would make sure of it, even if it was the last thing she ever did. Her hate would win out over his love. She rocked back and forth telling herself it wasn't a lie. It was the truth and so it would all be all right.

It was a long time before she was able to open her eyes. Her eyes were puffy and pink, she could hardly see. The curtains were still drawn and everything was blurry. She made the attempt to stand but it was useless. She was too weak to get up just yet. Sighing she leaned back, she was so tired, she wished she could just stay in bed the rest of the day. But she couldn't today there were things she had to do things that took priority over senseless rest.

*************

The sun peeked from behind white clouds, large clouds that held no shape, moving fast with a passing breeze. Thirteen hundred hours found Kenshin alone in the middle of a track field. A strong gust of wind descended on the camp halting him mid-step. The hairs on his neck began to stand on end, a sign usually associated with an oncoming threat. He stood stock-still for a full moment, sensing for any presence with mal-intent.

He frowned when he found nothing. All his men where on the south part of camp doing their training while the current army recruits remained on the northern part attempting to go through simulated mine fields.

Again the air stirred and he found worry seeping in, his thoughts trailed back to Kaoru and he hoped everything was all right. He had never really worried over someone before but he found his thoughts constantly filled with her state of being. It had only been a few hours since he'd left her but already he felt their connection weakening. Strange, he shook his head and dismissed the idea. Continuing his jog without further thought though the sense of urgency remained, lingering behind in the back of his head.

*************

"You understand this is very strong?"

Kaoru nodded taking the prescriptions from the physician's hand. " I understand." She conceded, hopping off the small bed. She put the note in her pocket and walked out.

It'd been a struggle and she'd debated with herself if this really was the right thing to do. She hadn't wanted to start taking Valium. It was easy to get hooked on those kinds of drugs and she really didn't need another problem. She already had so much to deal with she didn't need to become a drug addict on top of everything else.

She sighed in bitter disappointed. Why did she have to remember anything at all? She put her hands in her pockets as she walked down the street. This Monday had by far been the worst ever of her life. She hastened her pace, crossing the street just before the light tuned.

The smell of disinfectant was strong, greeting her even before she entered the pharmacy. She walked to the counter and handed her note to a smiling older woman. She wanted to be done with her errands and be back home before the clock turned to four. She stood off to the side with her vision on some point on the wall, thinking while she waited for her medication. These pills were only for the weekend since alcohol had a very undesirable side effect. Mainly being that she couldn't control her actions. She sighed regretfully; all she had to do was avoiding thinking about him and she couldn't even do that.

"Miss?"

Kaoru turned, smiled and handed her money over to the elder man. "Thank You."

The old pharmacist smiled and handed her a small bag containing a single bottle. He noted her trembling hands when she took the bag. He found it curious, why someone so young would need such a heavy dose of medication.

Kaoru rolled the bag and stuffed it into her pocket. Half bowed to the old man and left quickly. She couldn't help feeling guilty. She wasn't doing anything wrong of course but still. She couldn't shake the feeling off and almost ran out of the pharmacy in her haste to get away. These were necessary. She had told herself that for hours on end before she'd decided to visit the doctor.

The human mind despite belief is very frail. She was an idiot for begrudging him. Crazy for pushing him in this lifetime for something he did in the last. She knew that, she understood that but the problem stemmed from somewhere else. It came from her heart and this tear in her soul, she found that the only way she could mend it was by ruining him, killing him the way he'd killed her.

Was she sane?

It was hard to say, she simply didn't know. As of yet though she could still think and she realized she was running out of options. Her choices were limited, she could either let her hate explode which would only result in some act of rage or she could remain calm and wait this out till January. To the day rurouni Kenshin met his Kaoru-dono.

She just had to hold on. There was still much she had to do. She had to make sure he loved her, more than life and more than breath. He had to love her. When she was sure of that love then she could destroy him the same way he'd destroyed her. She would shatter his world. Any breakdown after that would be welcomed. She just had to wait.

She made her way to the curve and hailed a cab, feeling too conflicted to get around on her own. A familiar beep reached her ears and she was startled to find it was her phone. She moved away from the side of the street and answered her cell, "Hello."

"Where are you?" The male voice froze her thoughts. "Kaoru?" She took a deep breath and steadied her shaky hands. "I'm here."

*************

Kaoru entered the house not surprised to find him home. It was still Monday and he had left some hours ago but he had called her, something he had never done before. She put the takeout down on a table near the door, thinking ahead of time, she'd bought it just in case he were to come home.

He stood up the moment she walked through the door. Her face was pale and her eyes were puffy, she'd obviously lied to him when she'd said nothing was wrong.

A prickling sensation sprang behind her eyes. He looked too much like before. He was wearing all black, dressed in his army garb, the emblem off his camp stood off what with it being written in white.

Hesitation filled her first two steps but the closer she got to him the more hurried her steps became. Almost leaping into his embrace, she wrapped herself around him while hiding her face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his musky scent. He wrapped his arms around her, not sure why she was upset but glad just the same that he came home to check on her. Murmuring words of comfort as he held her body close captive in his hold.

Her eyes had fluttered closed and all she focused on was breathing; she leaned on him, clutching at his waist. There was something terribly wrong with her today. Her mind and sentiments were in disarray but despite the haze she could sense his thoughts and knew he wanted to ask her the cause for her distress. Knowing this, she kept her face tucked into his neck. It wasn't a good idea to pull away just yet, she wasn't ready to lie. His hands weaved into her hair running through the long strands, over and over in a soothing caress. She sighed against his skin, feeling the warmth of her breath bouncing back on her face. "Why did you come home today?"

"I was worried."

Small Notes: This chapter as you can see is full of dark undercurrents, foreshadowing things to come. Murder, suicide as well as self-destructive behavior are heavy in this chapter. A pattern that will grow dimmer since we now begin our descent towards the inevitable end.

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

Please remember that anything between these lines means dream sequence. In this chapter it was Kaoru who had the dream. A small glimpse to her past with battousai

: : : : : : : : : : : : :

In chapter seven, it is revealed that Kenshin (the rurouni) reverts back to battousai. The why and the how are not yet known. All we know is that he'd stayed up all night waiting for her to come home, he was angry by the time she showed up the next morning. He questioned her whereabouts and refused to believe her answers when he finally got them.

In this dream which is a glimpse to the past we see a confrontation between Kaoru and Kenshin. Their conversation leads one to believe that Kaoru has been purposely plotting to bring battousai forth the only problem seems to be that she has no idea what he's talking about. Is battousai seeing things? Again we are left in doubt.

All we know for sure about the past is that Kaoru fell victim to his touch because she already loved him.

The present Kaoru, startled out of sleep, still expects to see him when she wakes. Confused and disappointed she begins to cry; she really does want to keep him just as much as she wants to see his demise.

Love and hate are eating her alive and her deterioration is quite visible to the reader but not to Kenshin, who's spent no more than 72hrs at a time with her. Still he manages to sense enough that it worries him.


	19. chapter 18

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Eighteen

*************

Kaoru brushed her fingertips over her breastbone. She'd lost five pounds in less than a week. Too much time in bed and not enough nourishment was having it's told. Kaoru sighed and moved away from the sink, leaving her reflection behind as she left the bathroom.

It was past one a.m. close to two. She'd done all the housework and the cooking for the weeks. She yawned feeling sleepy. She shouldn't have waited till Friday night to begin the housework not to mention the cooking.

She sat on the bed a moment, massaging lotion over her hands. She'd already taken a sleeping pill and fixed the things she would need for the next day. So there was nothing else to do but sleep, it wouldn't be long before he was home. She rubbed the last of the lotion over the back of her neck before she began to braid her hair. A loose braid that she let rest over her chest.

She was wearing formal pajamas but she didn't think he would mind, they were dark-blue and slinky, made of imported silk. She laid her head on the pillow and drew the blankets all the way to her chin. The room was cold so it wouldn't be long before she fell asleep.

A cold breeze stirred the curtains, washing into the room. It wouldn't be long before he came home, she thought as a dark abyss rose around her waking thoughts, drawing her down into a bottomless place where sleep existed without dreams.

Darkness reached out its clammy hand holding her close while she slept, shadows played around her form seemingly ready to attack. Frowning in sleep, she tossed and turned finding no rest in her abyss.

It was sometime before she settled as heat finally seeped into her bones casting off the swarthy figures surrounding her form. Contentment filled her breath and she sighed as she relaxed at last.

Kaoru turned, seeking the moving warmth. She tucked her head under her pillow trying to adjust herself back into a comfortable pose. Finally she opened her eyes, finding that no matter which way she turned her pillow was much too firm. She half rose on her elbow somewhat surprised to find her companion already home. A glance towards the window confirmed in fact that it was already morning. It hadn't felt like she'd slept at all, she wasn't tired but it felt like she'd only closed her eyes and turned. She kept herself from sighing and slowly moved off the bed.

Her steps were slow as she made her way across the room, she slid a drawer open and removed the clothes she'd picked out the day before. She glanced at the bed noting he hadn't moved. He could be pretending for all she knew he always stirred when she rose from the bed unless he purposely chose not to. Her eyes narrowed as she moved towards the bathroom, there were too many tendencies he still retained.

One Valium table was good for twelve hours she knew. This would be the first time taking the dose and so she would be counting the hours to see just how well it worked. With long drink of water she washed the pill down. Her watched confirmed the time as ten minutes till eleven, a perfect time for brunch. She made quick work of getting ready, putting on her long sleeved turtleneck after her pants. Giving herself the chance to dress the wound on her arm, it wasn't as big as it was been Monday in fact it had already begun to scab. She added a bit of ointment on the wound before she put a new bandage on. Once done she rolled the sleeve of her shirt down and put the turtleneck on.

Lastly she washed her face and teeth before brushing her hair. After a sprits of perfume she was done. Moving towards the door she put her ear against the door, listening for any possible movement. After a long moment of silence she dared, quietly and with extreme care, she opened the door.

He was as she had left him, sleeping on his back with his face facing her side. She moved her eyes away and crept out of the room. Shaking her head once outside, the things she did to surprise him.

*************

Kenshin walked down the stairs, taking two steps at a time, he had waited for her to come back to bed but it seemed she had left him in favor of something else. It was close to eleven thirty and by her standards they should both still be in bed. He frowned as he looked around the living room, finding it empty he moved on to the next room. A quick glance into the kitchen confirmed her absence there as well.

His ears perked up at hearing movement in the back and stalked towards the garden where he then stopped. Kaoru stood with her back to him, obscuring his view with her form as she looked out into the yard. Amber flicked across his gaze as dark humor sparked a fiendish intent. Slowly he crept behind her and clasped a hand over her mouth. A startled shriek emerged from behind his hand as fear gripped her still. He pulled her close hiding his nose in her mane. "I waited for you to come back."

Kaoru breathed again at the sound of his voice and relaxed into his hold. She'd panicked for a moment forgetting he was in home. He moved his hand away from her mouth and turned her in the embrace. Her face was flushed and she breathed a bit hard but it was her eyes that stole his attention, dark and narrow, they promised him wrath. Instinct kept his hold on her hands, an assurance of sorts, to keep her from beating him.

"Kenshin-baka."

He almost smiled at the admonishment; her tone was light so she couldn't really be that mad. After a moment a smile broke over her face, finding that she couldn't stay angry with him for very long. "I was going to come get you," she said turning her head back towards the yard. "'I have brunch for outside."

He moved his head a bit, surprised that she'd gone through the trouble of setting up a picnic for them in the yard. He released the hold on her arms and waited for her to lead.

Kaoru took hold of his hand and dragged him behind her. The weather agreed with her thoughts, being nice and cold without wind and bright without sun. She sat him on a dark blanket she had already laid out. Her smile was large, setting off the color of her eyes when she looked at him. Glancing at him through her lashes from time to time while her hands busied themselves, pilling food on a plate. She handed him the plate and paused, watching him take a taste of her food. "Do you like it?"

He nodded, feeling his heart skip a beat as a look of joy crossed her face. Kaoru filled a plate and set it next to him, he frowned not understanding why until she crawled closer to his side. A ghostly smile settled over his lips. She wanted to eat right next to him. "Did you fix all of this last night?"

She nodded as she bit into a bacon piece. "I thought it would be nice."

Again he nodded and wondered what could have set her spirits up so high. Kaoru dipped her pancake into a syrupy sauce before she took a bite; she paused when she noticed the blankness in his eyes. She dipped her pancake again and set it against the tip of his lip. His gaze fell on her as he bit the offered piece. "Eat," she ordered licking the fingers she'd fed him with.

His eyes fell on her lips and he realized he hadn't really had his morning kiss. She seemed oblivious to the heated look in his eyes as she munched away on her brunch. Inwardly he sighed and stepped on the growing desire that had flared up.

Kaoru pushed a bacon piece into his mouth, wondering why he seemed so absent today. She frowned a bit and decided that it would be best if she fed him instead. Liking he idea she smiled again and pushed the rest of her strawberry into his mouth.

Not really bothering to chew, he swallowed the berry and kissed her lightly on the lips. She smiled at him and pecked his lips lovingly. "You have to eat Kenshin."

A look must have passed over his face he surmised because a soft laugh broke past her lips. She kissed him again then stuck a piece of toast into his open mouth. He wanted to ask what had made her so happy but he was afraid that if he drew attention to her behavior she would try to control the reaction. So he let it be, watching her eat off his plate and enjoying the caress of her fingertips when she fed him.

"That was good." He complimented as she took the plate out of his hands.

"I'm glad you liked it," she voiced as she put the plates away. She handed him a cup of juice as she put everything back into place. He had eaten everything she made and it had surprisingly put her in a good mood. She moved the cushions she'd brought out with her and placed them behind his back. Patting a couple in place before she moved back to her original spot. Kaoru knelt in front of him and took the cup out of his hand. His eyes followed her movements as she took a drink from the glass then handed it back. His gaze fell on the glass in his hand again until Kaoru yawned, bringing his attention back to her face. She moved closer to him, nuzzling his neck. "Finish your juice."

He obeyed the command, drinking the remainder of the juice in one quick gulp. The cup was taken out of his grasp by her small hands. Hands that pushed against his chest afterwards until he settled against the cushions she'd laid out. She settled her body over him, laying her cheek against his chest, she sighed and closed her eyes as she wrapped herself around his form.

A soft cloud full of warmth settled over her thoughts as the lure of slumber drew her back. She snuggled closer into the warmth until streams of silver and cords of light led her to a place just beyond the stars.

Kenshin felt her body settling against him, relaxing as his arm came around her waist, holding her close as she fell asleep. He knew she'd gotten up early and she'd obviously gone to sleep pretty late for her to be this tired. A yawned escaped him and he knew he should probably take some rest as well.

Monday, when he'd come home she'd been upset but when asked what was wrong, all she'd said was that it'd been a nightmare. She'd woken up crying then but she didn't recall why. She only knew that what was left was a feeling of dread, one that had remained with her the rest of the day.

He'd spent the whole week loosing sleep over her troubling dream. Kenshin shook his head and settled further into the cushions. A short nap seemed welcomed despite the hour of the day. She would be able to sleep at his side and now he could sleep knowing she was fine.

He secured his hold on her waist before he threaded the fingers of his right with those of her left and settled their hands back onto his chest. Kaoru gripped his hand in sleep, bringing it closer to her chest. Kenshin smiled then closed his eyes. Her warmth called out to him and he gladly answered the call. His head settled on the cushion as he took a breath. Jasmine, he thought would forever be a reminder to him of the woman he loved. Smiling, he fell asleep.

*************

The change in weather brought him out of slumbers grasp. A drop of moisture fell on his nose causing him to look up. The cloudless sky was now full of large angry clouds. Dark and ready to burst, they hovered over the sky. He sat up, careful not to wake her. Slowly he stood, feeling his muscles protest at not having stretched before he lifted her up. Though once he held in his arms, he could feel a slight change in her mass. He made a mental note to ask her later if she'd lost some weight.

Kenshin strode across the yard and back into the house. Finding that the house in fact was a lot warmer than it had been outside. He laid her on the sofa and headed back outside.

Kaoru stirred, feeling her warmth leaving, she half opened her eyes, enough to see his crimson locks disappearing around the corner. Yawning she sat up and rubbed her eyes. A glance to the clock on the mantle told her it was twenty past four. She yawned, thinking, not bad for a nap. She stood and slowly made her way back towards the yard.

Yawning she paused just outside the living room, Kenshin seemed to need no help bringing the stuff in. He brought everything back in just one trip while she'd made seven. He strode into the kitchen, setting everything down on a table.

"Let's go out to dinner," she suggested as she came into the room. "It's raining;" he pointed out as he spread the blanket open.

"I didn't plan to eat in the park." She quipped "I thought we could bring the food back," she said as she approached. "You can build a fire when we get back." She wrapped her arms around waist and looked up at his face, noting there was something different in his eyes.

Dark pools of cobalt urged his assent, "Go get a coat so we can go." He said, watching her smile a sec before she ran off.

*************

Reason seemed to be absent today but then so did all her distress. Her behavior was traitorous yet her thoughts didn't seem to catch onto the fact at all. She smiled and she spoke, patting his arm and squeezing his hand. She tucked her face into the crook of his neck, allowing him the chance to stroke her hair or grasp her waist, she responded to it all with an affectionate smile.

She hadn't really let go of him since leavening the house so it came as no surprise when she took hold of his hand on the drive back. Kaoru looked out the window, there was too much rain to really see so instead she watched her breath fogging the windows until the car came to halt. "We're home, " she announced as she began to open the door.

He smiled and squeezed her hand. She turned to him with a puzzled look, "The keys," he said laying them on her palm. "Oh," she smiled, giving him a quick kiss before she dashed out of the car. He shook his head and followed behind, carrying two large takeout bags.

Kaoru stood at the entrance holding the door till he entered through. "I didn't think it would be so cold," She said closing the door. "I'll take the food; you go start the fire."

He did as he was told, not minding at all that she depended on him for any tasks at all. He walked into the living room and set about starting the fire.

Moment's later Kaoru entered the room dragging the blanket from their picnic behind her. He tossed in a few extra logs into the flames before he walked over to help her. "No, I can do it." She said holding a hand to his chest. "Sit."

Pulling her load just a few more steps, Kaoru threw the corners aside and pulled out all the cushions from before. A blank expression crossed his face, wondering why she would want all the cushions again. Quick work was made of tossing the cushion on the floor before she stepped out and brought the takeout.

"The light goes out in these parts, " she explained as she began to open a bag. "'It's better if we're comfortable." Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled, not a second after she finished her thought, the lights flickered and died. "See."

Strange, he thought but didn't mention it. Sometimes it was better to just let things go. She was happy today and that's all he really cared about. She hadn't seemed this happy since he'd first met her. "Kenshin." His name brought a stop to his thoughts.

"Are you all right?" She leaned over the small table and put the back of her hand on his forehead. She'd made him put on a coat before they left so he couldn't have gotten sick. Even still it wouldn't happen so suddenly.

"I'm fine."

A dubious look settled on her face. He laughed and kissed the palm of her hand. "I'm fine."

"But if you were sick, you'd tell me wouldn't you?"

"Aa," He lied. Never would he say something that would upset her much less worry her. She took things to heart and at times she seemed to worry too much. A crinkle of her nose was her response and sometimes he swore she could read his thoughts.

On reading back I find that I do write with a lot symbolism and metaphors, so I apologize ahead of time. I'll guide you through this though I must admit I feel like I'm writing cliff notes for my book.

Small Notes: Kenshin's leave is from Saturday four a.m. to Monday morning at five a.m. That being said we can move on to her sleeping. When she goes to sleep, she feels cold and restless, like dark shadows hover over her form, a representation of her feelings. In chapter seventeen Kaoru explains how her hate as well as other ill sentiments intensify when she's alone. The fact that she grows warm sometime after she's fallen asleep indicates that Kenshin has come home and laid down with her. This is confirmed when she wakes up.

Kenshin's presence is a welcomed change. He seems to keep away the all-encompassing pull of distress that has been threatening her all week. Too much time alone, left with her dark thoughts has begun to fuel the already present conflict within her.

She sees battousai in gaze and knows that he retains too many qualities from before. What she seems to miss is the fact that she retains just as many from her past. These thoughts usually get pushed aside in his presence because she is weak against the amber-eyed fiend that lives within her current rival.

Though _the hate _seems elusive through out the day as her behavior has changed. Her mood and state of thought, she seems all but content to have him at her side.

Despite been glad Kenshin notices the change, she was a happy individual when they first began to date but as time progressed he began to see less and less of who she was before they met.

Oddly enough her sudden change is due to the sleeping pill interacting with her new medication that to the plain antidepressant itself. Either way the medication has suppressed all her angry thoughts.

Valium (generic name: Diazepam) is a member of the benzodiazepine family. Which are mild sedatives, useful in treating anxiety, insomnia, seizures, and muscle spasms. Though often used to sedate and relax an individual Diazepam is used for the short-term relief of symptoms related to anxiety disorders. So they are often used as antidepressants.

Like any strong medication there are side effects the most frequent of which are drowsiness, fatigue, and ataxia (loss of balance). Rarely, diazepam causes a paradoxical reaction with excitability, muscle spasm, lack of sleep, and rage. Confusion, depression, speech problems, and double vision are also rare side effects of diazepam.

Certain side effects are increased when a prescribed dose is taken with other drugs such as Acetaminophen, Aspirin, Ibuprofen, etc., Unlike antacids which may decrease the effects of diazepam.

That been explained we can move on.


	20. chapter 19

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Nineteen

*************

It was the first of the month and their second week in Kyoto. November had finally come, bearing not such good news. After avoiding the media for close to three months they had finally found them. Kaoru sat on the couch looking through some magazines. She'd bought her usual three at the newsstand like she did every first of the month.

Shock had rendered her speechless for several moments after finding that there were pictures of them in all three of the magazines. Pictures of them kissing and holding hands. As well as pictures of him simply holding her. It was odd to say the least. Odd because of how they appeared. They looked like a couple. A loving couple and it's no doubt how people would see them. How the world would see them.

She sighed and leaned her head on the back of the seat. It was Wednesday so it would be a couple of days before she saw him, which meant it would be a while before he saw the article or the pictures. He was so short tempered. This was going to make him hit the roof. If the pictures didn't do it then the article certainly would.

Her eyes focused on a particular picture, staring intently at the scene the couple made.

Himura Kenshin seen in the arms of an unknown beauty was spotted in Kyoto sometime this month buying her an expensive gift. Associates from Tiffany's who shall remain nameless describe the couple as very friendly, affectionate and very much in love. It looks like the most eligible bachelor is no longer a bachelor at all.

She closed her eyes and tossed her arm over her brow. Why did they have to print the picture of her kissing him at the jewelry store?

She could think of doing only one of two things. Tell him herself or let him find out. Though there was always the chance he didn't know. If he didn't know then there was always the chance of him finding out if they stepped out of the house. They could stay home; the only problem was that Saturday would be their third month anniversary. Something he had reminded her about on Sunday. He was counting which in itself surprised her but the fact that he remembered or cared to remember, it got to her.

Sighing she slumped further into the cushion's of the couch. She didn't want to spend the whole weekend trapped in the house with him. Her medication was working of course but she wanted to avoid taking it if she could. When they where out, it wasn't so hard to be with him as it was when it was just the two of them. She could do without the pills if they went out.

The binds on her emotions were weakening, allowing more and more to come through. It's why she'd sought the haven only drugs could provide. She didn't like that she did it but she'd sworn to do whatever it took.

These last two weeks in Kyoto had felt like the longest weeks of her life, she couldn't really explain why but she was anxious to get back, she missed the comfort of her home, it was her sanctuary. She felt safe even during the worst of her spell. Her cell began to ring, bringing dread to her heart. He'd seen the pictures.

Quickly she picked up the phone, "Hello."

"Koneko."

Joy filled her heart at the sound of her father's voice. "You didn't call me yesterday so I thought I'd call you today." She chewed on her lip, feeling guilty. She always called him on the same days. She'd forgotten to call him the day before though. "I'm sorry papa. I honestly forgot what day it was."

"What's keeping you so busy you forgot you papa?" His tone was jesting and so Kaoru didn't panic at the inquiry.

"I've been reading a book and I can hardly put it down, still I shouldn't have forgotten. I'm sorry Papa."

He laughed. "It's all right Koneko. I've called bearing good news."

Kaoru frowned a bit. "What is it Papa?"

"I'm coming home for the holidays."

Kaoru almost swooned, if she hadn't already been sitting she would have collapsed. "When Papa? When are you coming home?"

"November twenty-second, I'm supposed to leave New York Tuesday night so I should be home Wednesday about eight a.m."

Kaoru felt her vision swimming. What would happen now? Kenshin. She couldn't see him while her father was home. "Kaoru?" The sound of her father's voice brought her back out of her reverie. "Yes, Papa. I'm very happy." She paused to clear her throat. "It's been two months since I've seen you; " a thought suddenly struck her. "I've grown taller."

Kenji smiled. "Was it a whole inch?"

Kaoru scoffed. "I don't think I'll tell you now." He laughed knowing it was less than that then. ""I'm sorry, " He apologized really wanting to hear all the going on's of her life, all the details even the minor ones. "How tall are you now?"

Kaoru pulled on the tip of her ponytail rather reluctant to tell him now. He was tall of course so half an inch wasn't anything to him but for people who'd been vertically challenged all their life it was a big deal. "I'm 5'3."

Holding back his laughter, Kenji smiled. "That's great, when I get home we can celebrate. We'll got to that place you liked so much when you where little."

Her ears perked up. "You don't mean Kansai's do you Papa?"

"No, did you want to go there instead?"

Kaoru shook her head. "No what place are talking about Papa?"

"The place with the fish," he hinted. Kaoru gasped. "That place in Yokohama from where you bought me my first fish." She filled in. "I don't know if I can eat there with wanting to save another fish."

Laughter broke past his lips, remembering his little koneko at the age of six, wanting to save the fish that was to be there dinner. "Well we can go anyplace in Yokohama you want."

"Why Yokohama?"

"I have a business arrangement I need to take care of while there. See it's a holiday here in the state but not in Japan."

"So you have to work," Kaoru finished sadly.

"Aa but I took it because it allows me some extra time with you. I won't have to go back till Sunday."

Kaoru kept herself from sighing she wouldn't make her father feel guilty, he didn't deserve it. He was a good man and a loving papa. "So are we going to be staying in Yokohama?"

"Very observant koneko," He voiced proudly. "Yes we are, we'll be staying at one of my partner's home."

"So I should be packed by Tuesday," she paused. "Should I take a taxi to the airport or what do you want me to do?"

"I'll rent a car and pick you."

Kaoru quickly interrupted. "But papa you'll be tired from your flight. You really shouldn't drive."

"Don't worry yourself, you papa isn't so old he can't miss a few hours of sleep." He soothed. "I have a meeting so I have to go. I just wanted to call and give you the news. Call me Thursday."

"I will papa. I love you."

"I love you too koneko. Be careful and don't stay out too late. Or talk to strangers for that matter."

Amusement settled on her features as she shook her head. "I know papa. Don't worry. I'll call you Thursday."

"All right, goodbye."

"Bye papa." Kaoru said ending the call. Her papa had a tendency to worry too much. Though a talk with him always put her in good spirits. She rose off the couch and made her way to the kitchen. She'd make a bit of tea before she began to think of how she would tell Kenshin.

Kaoru boiled the water for her tea, while she looked for the chamomile leaves she'd bought. She pulled a mug from the coverts before she went back for the leaves, preparing to make her tea.

Less the ten minutes later, she found herself outside in the yard, sitting on the ground. Kaoru held the cup close her chest taking sips from time to time. There were a lot of things she needed to do before Friday night. There were things to buy, meals to prepare and reservations to make. There was a lot to think about as well, the photos in the magazines and her father's visit.

She took a deep breath and then a sip from her cup. Kenshin was very understanding, so he would understand her need to spend some quality time with her papa. She didn't want to lie more than she had to and this thing with her father, she would like to be able to tell him the truth. As for the pictures, she knew he would be mad for a little bit nothing she couldn't overcome, she just hoped that the media didn't follow them around because then she wouldn't be able to control his reaction. She wouldn't be able to dissuade him away from his anger, which meant battousai's presence would be called forth.

A shiver ran down her spine. She knew why but she refused to acknowledge any such thoughts. All she knew was that battousai held the upper hand and it was in her best interest to keep him from emerging. Kaoru took another sip of her tea before she set the cup off to the side. She laid back and propped her arms behind her head. Her eyes glazed over as she stared at the sky. In all their life's they'd married before she'd turned twenty-one. Her eyes closed at the thought. It wouldn't do her any good to reminisce over time past. Ignoring the twinge of her heart, she allowed slumber to rob her of thought.

*************

It was dark and chilly. The night was eerily silent he noted as he opened the door to his current home, quietly letting himself in. The house was dark and cold. Like always, he couldn't understand her fascination for the cold. He made his way up the stairs in but a few strides. All week, he'd looked forward to coming home. His body despite his everyday exercises, felt strained from the work out he'd put it through the last three days.

He walked through the open door into the bedroom, setting his bag down on the floor in it's usual spot before he began to disrobe. His eyes trailed to the sleeping form on the bed, lying peacefully while she dreamt. Coming home seemed so much better when there was someone waiting. He drew the covers back and slid in. Like always he scooped her into his arms, bringing her closer to him. Kaoru snuggled into the warmth, laying her cheek against his bicep, breathing in his scent with her every breath.

Kenshin leaned just the slightest and kissed her forehead. She mumbled and fisted her hand. He wondered why she did that. His left arm, rubbed her back soothing noting the softness of the material, he smiled.

Her lashes fluttering open where the first sign of her waking up. Kaoru yawned against his skin before she really opened her eyes. "Kenshin," she mumbled sleepily.

"Aa."

"I went to sleep early." A yawn escaped her lips again. "Hoping I would be up by the time you got home." She sat up rubbing her eyes.

"Why?" He asked beginning to rise. Kaoru turned halting his movements. "I wanted to give you your gift." She said hopping off the bed. "Stay there a sec."

Kaoru quickly ran into the bathroom, took a valium and brushed her teeth. She took the gift from underneath the sink and raced back out to the bedroom.

Carelessly jumping back on the bed, she squealed as she landed on him. His arms came around her shoulders, holding her in place so he didn't topple her with his movements as he sat up. Kaoru moved off him just slightly before she handed him her gift.

"Here, I'll turn on the light." She said as she moved behind him and turned on a lamp next to the bed. Her hands took rest on his bare waist while she looked over his right shoulder.

He felt her breath against his neck as he unwrapped the present. He was taken back the actual gift.

"They're wrist guards," Kaoru explained as she picked up one of the two. "A collector's item from the nineteenth century, Edo dynasty." She leaned on his back as she continued. "They're rumored to have belonged to the Hitokiri Battousai himself." She turned her face and looked at him.

There was a moment of blankness over his features as he looked from her to the gift. "You don't like them," she said as she began to draw back.

"It's not that." He quickly interjected, pulling on her hand and settled her on his lap. "I'm just surprised. I collect this kind of stuff." He trailed off. A smiled blossomed on her lips. "So you do like them then?"

"Aa,' he said putting the box aside.

She halted his hand. "No put them on."

His left eyebrow rose and she blushed in response. "I just wanted to see what your hands looked like with them on."

He nodded and strapped them on. He fisted his hands feeling the familiar grip on his arms as he tried them on. Kaoru's gaze was focused on his hands and with the slightest touch, her fingers began to trace over his right hand, feeling the hardened material. It was very possible he'd once used these, she thought, fought and killed in these.

Her eyes where slow in moving up his bare arm, she could almost see the dark blue gi, she could see him as he was. Her eyes moved over his face, avoiding his left cheek she focused on his eyes instead.

Kenshin's hand had settled on her thigh while a familiar dryness filled his throat and something in him began to stir. This moment, it felt like they'd already had it before. It was impossible of course but he couldn't shake the feeling off.

Her eyes were soft when she looked at him, caressing him with her gaze. "Happy anniversary." She murmured just loud enough for him to hear.

Flecks of gold began to swirl in the depths of his gaze, responding to something in her stare. "Happy anniversary," he responded just as low before he bent down and laid a kiss on her lips.

Kaoru's left hand wrapped around a wrist guard as he deepened the kiss, fueling the spark into a flame. He kissed her with a controlled intent. Slowly he pulled back, gaining his breath and reading the expression on her face.

"I haven't bought your gift."

Kaoru nodded. "That's ok." A gift isn't so much what she wanted, not right now. She pulled his head back down with her right hand, keeping her left on his wrist. He sensed the need behind the gesture and so he remained complacent, allowing her freedom to pull him, bending him to her will with the touch of her skin and the brush of her lips.

Kaoru kissed him softly, not understanding why only knowing that she had to. Feeling a need stronger than mere desire, she needed to be close to him, as close as she could be.

He found her lips to be soft and inviting, luring him into a web he couldn't quite see. Gentle kisses turned firm, growing hard with intensity. Her kisses became more insistent until finally he let go of his control and began kissing her ravenously, drawing her into the murky depths of desire. Wanting to drown them both in the passion that flared between them every time the touched.

When finally he released her lips she swayed in his embrace feeling too light in the head and too short of breath. She pulled back to see his face and found her self transfixed by an amber gaze. Eye to eye she stared at the man of her dreams, her heart skipped a beat. Would this be another cruel dream?

"Will you still be here when I wake up?" Her voice was a soft rasp, light with longing and a feeling he couldn't quite place.

"Aa." He kept the rest to himself, promising her today and forever might be too soon. Kaoru nodded finding that to be enough. All her dreams where treacherous beings showing her a happy past, this would be no different she thought, this would be just another dream. She closed her eyes and tucked her head just under his chin, listening to his heartbeat. It beat to the rhythm of hers perhaps because it belonged to her. "Mine." She said laying a kiss on his skin just over where his heart drummed against his chest.

Kenshin nodded, agreeing to what he thought she meant.

*************

It was morning she realized when she opened her eyes and still fully clothed. She put her hand to her head trying to remember. They'd spent all of Saturday at the fair, leaving somewhat late. Afterwards they'd driven to a restaurant where she'd had something to eat as well as to drink. That she realized must have been her mistake. Alcohol and medicine don't mix, even though it was just a glass of light wine, it seemed like that did her in. At least she didn't have a headache.

She walked over to the bathroom, washing her face and teeth before she combed her hair. Kenshin never got to see her tattoo. Sighing she took her medication before she changed her clothes.

Her head was half way through her shirt when she realized Kenshin might not be home. Which meant that he might see a picture of them somewhere. "Oh no."

She finished dressing as quickly as she could, before she ran down, hoping to find him somewhere below.

"Kenshin." She called out when she reached the bottom of the stairs. "Kenshin," she said as she peeked into the kitchen. Her racing heart began to pound the closer she drew to the yard.

She slid the door open, somehow she knew. "Empty," she murmured. Standing in the cold a full minute before she closed the door. Desolate, she walked back to the living room. Though halfway there she heard the slamming of a door.

His car door, she thought as she raced to the front door. "Kenshin." She met him halfway across.

The disgruntle look on his face quickly faded away at seeing her in his clothes. He caught her in his arms, holding her in place. "You didn't leave a note." She said tossing her arms around his neck.

"I wanted to get your gift." He explained.

"You didn't have to; you got me the bracelet already."

He nodded; "Still I wanted to get you something." He pulled a small box from his pocket when he suddenly turned. "I don't believe this."

Light flashed across Kaoru's vision blinding her to the spot. "Kenshin." She called out, feeling him gone. She rubbed her eyes, blinking to clear her sight. His arms came around her suddenly, leading her back inside.

"What was that Kenshin?" She said once they were inside.

"Stupid photographers, nothing to worry about."

Kaoru held her tongue finding it better to remain silent then to add to the growing problem. "I'll make us breakfast." Was all she said, leaving him alone to his thoughts.

Kenshin stayed behind, walking into the living room. He pulled out the roll of film he'd taken from the photographer's camera. Bastard was lucky Kaoru was there or he would have done more than to toss his camera, grunting he let those thoughts drop. He bent in front of the fireplace, tossing in a few logs before he fixed a fire; he let the flames blaze before he tossed the roll into the hearth. Turning on his heel Kenshin left, walking away from the flames in search of Kaoru. He walked into the kitchen and spotted her right away. Moving around as she prepared their food, he took a seat at the table and watched her.

Looking at her body he wondered where she'd had them put the tattoo. Even though it was henna the large dragon on his back looked real enough. He'd spent some time looking at it after he'd woken up which brought him back to the same thought. "Where's your tattoo?"

Kaoru turned with a ladle in her mouth, a smile began to curve her lips. She put the spoon aside and walked over to him till she was within arms reach. Turning her back to him she lifted her shirt up.

He blinked trying to clear his thoughts. His fingers were cold against her skin causing her to shiver when he traced the design low on her back. The dragon was at least five times smaller than his but still just as well drawn. The legendary beast stretched out magnificently, so low on her back, one of the claws lay over her tailbone.

"Do you like it?"

"Aa," his voice rumbled deep in his throat, making Kaoru turn around. His hands however held her in place as they settled on her hips in a strong grip. He wanted to know why she'd picked a dragon as the design they both now wore. How could she have known that if he'd had a choice, he'd have place it right in the same spot, low on her back so that only he could see it when they were alone. How could she know so much of his wants? He laid a kiss on the marred skin, licking the outline of the dragon.

"Kenshin," she rasped. "Our food?"

His mouth settled high on her buttock, biting down the supple flesh. Kaoru cried out and arched against his hold, struggling again to turn around. Reason flashed across his thoughts and he knew he should let her go. But desire ruled over him, dominating his acts and dictating his demeanor. His breath was hot against her skin as he struggled to keep his movements slow. He lusted after her but the feeling was born out of his affection and emotions rather than mere desire alone. He wanted her desperately because he loved her and when they where joined together her heart beat along with his, crying out for more.

"Please," Kaoru called to him trying to loosen his hold on her waist. Afraid he might be hurting her, he let go, swallowing the lump in his throat all in an effort to compose himself but he found not even enough time for that. Kaoru straddled his knee and tossed her arms around his neck, bringing his head down for a kiss. She swallowed his breath, devouring the inside of his mouth.

He gripped her tightly around the waist so much so he was afraid he'd crush her with his hands. Her fingers undid the band of his hair before threading through large sections of his locks. Heat emanated from her body scorching him through the material of his shirt. Until finally he rid himself of the hindrance and tossed the shirt to the floor.

Kaoru's free hand smoothed over his back while her other remained in his hair, moving his head to guide the kiss. She bit him repeatedly, suckling on his tongue, pressing herself so close; he couldn't help but groan when she moved.

His arm had come around her waist, holding her to him while the other kneaded her breast. Arching against his hand, she mewled into his mouth when he squeezed the pliable flesh, pinching the hardened nub. His touch was unrelenting and she whimpered in response to the persistent caress.

She bit his throat, sinking her kitten teeth into his flesh before she lapped and sucked on the spot. Kenshin groaned at the intensity of the suction, feeling all the blood in his veins rushing south. She simply overwhelmed him when she rubbed her knee against his groin. "I love-" he cut himself off. "I love that you want to but I think we should head upstairs."

She nodded and stood quickly pulling him behind her. Kenshin swallowed hard, calling himself a million times the fool. He'd almost told her he loved her. The words had just slipped out; he was lucky this time. Next time he might not be able catch himself in time. He needed to make her fall in love with him fast. He stole a glance of her, feeling his thoughts settling with the promise of his task.

Focusing back on her, Kenshin picked her up before she took another step and tossed her over his shoulder none too gently. "Kenshin," she gasped as she tried to hold on, he only smiled and patted her bottom as he took the stairs two steps at a time.

This thing between them was enough for now but he would find a way to make her fall in love with him soon enough. He smiled as he tossed her on the bed. It was all a matter of time.

Small Notes: The reason for the pills is explained at last. The binds on her emotions were weakening, allowing more and more to come through. It's why she'd sought the haven only drugs could provide. And from she says, you know that she takes them because she feels she has to not because she wants to.

Kenji's unexpected visit puts a hitch in her plans with Kenshin but it's nothing she can't overcome. She loves her father and is going to spend quality time with him, no matter what.

There are certain things we touch upon in this chapter that aren't completely explained.

1. Kaoru isn't willing to lie to him more than she has to despite the ways she feels.

2. Battousai's presence. She knows he holds the upper hand and she tells herself it's in her best interest to keep him from emerging but at every corner and at every turn it seems that if it's possible for him to appear she pushes him in that direction until amber fills his gaze.

3. She refuses to acknowledge certain feelings as of yet. Feelings that make her shiver or squeeze her heart with a familiar twinge, always when thinking about him.

4. "Mine," a word uttered after she kissed his chest. Kaoru and Kenshin, each have a different idea of what it means.

In this version of the chapter. (Edited)

We skip the whole day at the fair, jumping some pages to the morning after. Kaoru wakes up a bit off, chiding herself for the glass of wine she had the previous night. She knows better.

The Valium as a reminder, lasts twelve hours. Alone it's supposed to help her represses the anxiety she feels when she sees him. So far we haven't seen her on the medication alone. It's always the sleeping pill, altering the way the drug works.

Kaoru is halfway through changing when she realizes Kenshin might not be home, though subtle, the thought of him being gone is troublesome and she goes out of her way to look for him.

Why a dragon tattoo?

The Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, just about every attack has something to do with a dragon.

Ryu Shou Sen - "Dragon Flight Flash"

Ryu Tsui Sen - "Dragon Hammer Flash"

Sou Ryu Sen (Kaminari) - "Twin Dragon Flash"

and so on . . . . . .

Since this is battousai, master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu it was only fitting the symbol for him be a dragon.

Why did Kaoru get one? She got a small version of his tattoo on her lower back and intentionally or not she marked herself with his sign.

Something his subconscious picks up on it, inciting a strong desire he almost can't control and in a moment of weakness, his sentiments spill from his mouth. Luckily he catches himself in time, twisting his words so that she doesn't drawn on what he almost said.

It's becoming harder not to tell her, his will is weakening and so he decides what he needs to do, is hurry things along. He's bent on making her fall in love with him and figures it's only a matter of time before she does.


	21. chapter 20

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Twenty

*************

The time had finally come to go back home. There was disappointment in her heart more then relief. It's true that the first two weeks had gone by slow but after their anniversary the weeks had just flown by. Kaoru sat in the car, contemplating their time spent away from Tokyo. She found that after so long, Kyoto had finally begun to feel like home.

It was Sunday night and traffic was supposed to be light so it wouldn't be long before they where back at her house. She was going to tell him today that she wouldn't be able to see him the rest of the week because her father was coming into town.

The driver's door opened then, Kenshin sat and slammed the door closed. His mouth was set into a thin line and his forehead was creased in a thunderous scowl. He was angry and she knew why. The media hadn't let up and there were several more pictures of them floating around, there was one in particular that was upsetting him though.

The picture was taken the day after their anniversary just as Kenshin was handing her his gift, which happened to be a small jewelry box. She liked the picture, so she'd kept a clipping, the headline to the picture read; _Is Himura Kenshin getting married?_

Her thoughts turned away as Kenshin angrily jabbed the keys into the ignition, brining the car alive. The engine roared ferociously before he set it into gear, driving away from the house that'd been their home for the last couple of weeks.

She was glad she'd taken her sleeping pill before leaving the house, she was beginning to feel drowsy already. The roar of his engine, she knew would lull her to sleep. The highway she noted was very dark and the car sped along much too fast for her to see the scenery as it changed. It was a long time before she spoke but now her words were low and slurred. "You're staying over, right?" Her half lidded eyes gazed in his direction.

"Aa," he answered as he glanced her way. A tiny yawn escaped her lips before her eyes finally fluttered closed. He sighed in frustration, he hadn't meant to cuss in front of her but fucking reporters, why couldn't they just let things be? Yes, he was short tempered and yes he'd pulled a gun out on them on more than one occasion but damn it the way they hounded him, they where lucky to still be alive. What if he'd really been about to propose? Fucking bastards, they better not spoil things when he finally asks her or there's going to be hell to pay. His knuckled turned white as he gripped the stirring wheel, feeling his blood bubbling with anger again. All he could do was exhale, taking deep breaths in an effort to calm down.

He glanced at her, watching her sleeping form. He reached out and tucked a few errant strands behind her ear. A ghostly smile touched his lips, glad to see her wearing the dragon fly earrings he'd bought her, companions to her bracelet. The back of his hand smoothed over her cheek distractedly, he was used to coming home and finding her in bed. Always there and always waiting for him. What was he supposed to do now? The longer they spent together the more reluctant he was to let her go.

He turned his eyes back to the road and shifted gears. The car lurched forward, speeding down the highway as it gained speed. His thoughts were turbulent these days more so than they'd ever been when he'd assassinated, just in a different way now.

They'd begun to stay in doors more and more since a couple of reporters had begun to hang around the house. Of course he knew how to make them go away but Kaoru insisted on not drawing anymore attention to them. Maybe that's why he was upset with her, because she'd kept him from smashing their camera's over their faces. A cruel smile crossed his lips at the thought, it held a moment or two before he let it drop, fading away from his mind.

So what if people thought he was getting married. Maybe now other women would leave him alone. He hated been hassled and Kami only knew how he hated been hounded. He hoped the media's report of his proposal would satisfy the stalkers and other fans, he was off limits now and hopefully they would leave him the hell alone.

Kaoru mumbled, shifting in sleep until she was closer to his seat. He pulled his jacket off and set the car on cruise control while he put his jacket on her, zipping it close. A smile hovered on his lips by the time he was done. He'd noticed she seemed to like his clothes, or the smell of them. He retracted his hands, switching the cruise control off as he sat back in his seat. A sigh escaped his lips, finally relaxing; he let his head fall against the seat, keeping his eyes on the road as he drove.

It wasn't long before the ride drew to a close. They did pretty good time he thought as he pulled the keys from the ignition. He stepped out and stretched, rotating his shoulders before he walked over to her side of the car. Softly lifting the handle, he opened the door and crouched by her side, pulling her closer towards the door. "Kaoru," he hadn't wanted to wake her up but he forgot to ask for the keys before she fell asleep and it'd be wrong to just go through her purse. "Kaoru," he called again.

She mumbled sleepily but didn't wake. "Koishii, you need to wake up." She mumbled again but this time she half opened her eyes. "Kenshin?"

"The keys koishii, we need them to get inside."

She yawned and slowly covered her mouth. "My keys?" She thought sleepily. "I put them in your pocket."

Kenshin dug into the pockets of the jacket she wore trying to find the aggravating pieces of metal. He growled when he couldn't find them. Kaoru opened an eye and looked in his direction. A dark scowl hovered over his handsome features, grunting when he couldn't find the missing item. Yawning, she dug into the pocket over her breast, finding the keys right away. "Here." She mumbled, snuggling closer into his jacket.

". . ." He bit his tongue to keep from cussing.

Kaoru smiled and rubbed her eyes. She was very sleepy, still she knew they where home. So despite the weary feeling, she sat up in her seat and attempted to get out.

"Where are you going?"

Suddenly startled she looked up. "Inside." She mumbled, watching him shake his head before he picked her up. "I could have walked," she half protested while her arms snaked around his neck. He only nodded, having already opened the door to the house he was able to just waltz through, making his way to the living room; he laid her on the sofa. "I'm going to get the luggage," he explained.

"Kay," she acknowledged, sitting up so she could glance at the clock, she squinted at the vcr, noting it was only ten o'clock. "Feels much later," she thought. Sitting up the whole way, she stretched before she stood. Yawning again as she made her way to the guestroom. She would wash up and change before she approached the topic of her papa's visit. Even still she would wait till they were already in bed before she spoke.

The bathroom door closed just as Kenshin stepped into the house. He brought the luggage into her room and set it off to the side by the door. Thinking, it's a good thing they ate before they left, it was ten past twelve and he was beginning to feel weary of the day. He stripped down to his boxers and drew the covers back. Sighing as he slid into the cold blankets.

Kaoru shut the light off to the bathroom then stepped out. She pretty much knew what she was going to say. Sometimes she still got a little tongue tied around him but she hoped this wouldn't be one of them. She ran her hands over her cotton pj's, wondering if he'd think they were too plain. Suddenly nervous she began to pull on the corner of her top.

The lamp next to the bed was on and she was glad he was already in bed, though it was kind of early wasn't it? "What time is it?" She asked as she crossed the room to her side of the bed.

"Twelve-thirty."

Kaoru's eyes widened in surprise. She must have misread the clock. She slid the covers back and slipped in all the way to the middle of the bed. Kenshin reached for the light and turned it off. After which he scooped her into his arms.

"Kenshin?"

"Aa, " he responded.

Kaoru propped herself on her right elbow while she folded her left over his chest. "There's something I have to tell you but I don't want you to get mad." That's not the line she'd practiced but it's what she'd been able to get out.

"What is it?"

"My papa is coming to visit me." Her heart was racing wildly even though she'd taken the Valium, she wished those damn pills worked faster. "He'll be here from Wednesday to Sunday." She paused, seeing if he'd interrupt her but he didn't. "I won't be able to see you because we'll be staying in Yokohama."

Silenced stretched across the room for a long moment before Kaoru spoke again. "Kenshin?"

"Have you told your father you're dating me?"

It was her turn to remain silent. She hadn't thought enough; obviously, she hadn't expected this question. "Kaoru?"

"I - I haven't." She admitted.

"Why?"

"You must remember what my father's like." She said as she began to draw circles on his chest. "He's very protective. I think if it were up to him, I'd never get married." Kaoru sighed. "I love my papa don't get me wrong but sometimes and this was really only sometimes, I felt like - like a doll, too fragile to be ever left alone."

Kenshin's hand snuck under her top and slowly began to massage the skin underneath, feeling more at ease she continued. "I told you what happened with my mom, " she paused again and cleared her throat. "Because she was killed, I think, I think that's why he's so overprotective. I understand that now that I'm older but it was hard when I was young."

Kaoru felt the rise and fall of his chest, a silent sigh on his part. He was upset but not angry. "You understand don't you?"

"I do," he answered not really knowing what else to say. He was upset that she hadn't even mentioned him to her father even though he understood, he was still upset.

A strained silence followed his words and though she should leave well enough alone she couldn't. It bothered her that he was upset. "Kenshin?"

"I need to get some sleep Kaoru I'm leaving early for work." He pulled his hand away from under her shirt and turned on his side, facing away from her.

A prickling sensation stung her eyes and she blinked back the unwarranted tears. The pills were obviously making her crazy. She turned on her side, facing the window and away from him. She tucked herself into a small ball trying desperately not to cry. What reason did she have for crying? None she reasoned with herself. There was no reason at all. She sniffled and immediately rose from the bed.

"Kaoru?"

"Go to sleep." She said as she made her way out. She strode barefoot across the hardwood floors making her way to her father's room. She turned the knob and stopped as his heavy hand grasped her arm. "Come back to bed."

Kaoru stilled, she was torn between the safety of her fathers' room and the promise of Kenshin's arms. A churning feeling rose in the pit of her stomach as confusion set its veil over her mind. Her hand began to tremble on the knob until finally she released it, letting her hand drop away, useless at her side.

Her eyes were cast, looking at the floor; he sighed and pulled her close, imprisoning her within his hold. He felt the moisture of her tears as she rubbed her face into his chest, clinging to him until her silent sobs subsided.

"I'm sorry," he apologized over her head. He felt her nod against his chest; still he couldn't help feeling guilty that he'd made her cry simply by turning his back. Aside from it all he couldn't help but think it was a sign of her feelings towards him.

"Let's go to bed." He said, pulling her with him as they crossed the room.

He eased the covers back on his side, letting her slide in before he moved in beside her. Cuddling her to his side once they lay together.

He lay awake feeling the rhythm of her heart. He'd stopped rubbing her back a bit ago even so she'd yet to fall asleep. He kept quite hoping she would find rest but obviously she was still upset. Sighing inwardly, he gave in. "What is it?" His tone of voice was gentler than before; afraid he'd hurt her feelings in someway.

"I don't want you to go to work?"

He blinked not sure if he'd heard right. "What?"

She cleared her throat, trying to rid her voice of the roughness it held from crying. "I - I want you to stay with me."

His hand began to rub her back again, feeling the softness of her skin. He'd never missed work, ever, since he'd first begun to work.

"Never mind." She said tucking her back head into the crook of his arm. "No," he said. Stilling her movements when he felt her beginning to hide. "If you really want me to, I'll call in."

Finding his grip too strong to move away from, she settled for placing her cheek on his chest rather than hiding her face like she usually did.

"Kaoru?"

"I do." And oddly enough she did, she wanted to spend the day with him, doing things couples did. She wanted to sit in the park with him and hold his hand when they walked down the street. She wanted him to kiss her by the lake and hold her close under the shade of a tree. Tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes and now she really tried to move away. "I have a headache, Kenshin." She said, hoping he'd loosen his grip around her waist.

"I'll get you some aspiring." He said sliding her off him and standing.

"I can get it," she protested trying to sound not too desperate. She couldn't have aspiring while on medication. "I have to use the restroom anyways."

Kenshin nodded, helping her stand before he slid into the bed again. Kaoru walked out of the room somewhat hurriedly. She hadn't left any extra Valium pills out, they where all still in her suitcase. As it was, she would have to settle for another sleeping pill. She walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind. She locked it. Finding it was better to be safe than to be sorry later. She turned the light on, feeling it hurting her eyes, she closed her eyes to slits and began walking towards the sink.

The medicine cabinet was fully stocked something for which she was glad. Her hand moved past several bottles before she grabbed a blue one. She uncapped it and popped a pill into her mouth, resisting the urged to have more than one. Quickly closing the cap, she set the small bottle down to it's original spot. She had just a handful of water before she walked over to the bathroom, flushing it so he would know she hadn't lied. She moved back to the sink and washed her face. Always she avoided the mirror at night; it scared her to see her reflection. She was afraid of what she would see, perhaps the something she always avoided acknowledging. Shaking her head at her own paranoia she walked to the door. Unlocking it first, she then opened it, shutting the light off before she walked out.

She was prone to paranoia as of late, just like now she was afraid. Afraid of the dark and the shadows, she practically ran back to the room. Almost leaping into the bed, she slid in and snuggled against his side. His body was always warm and it gave her comfort to know he could beat anything with a gun or sword. He'd been trained in hand to hand combat, so really he could protect her from it all. "Night Kenshin." She slurred against his chest.

"Night koibito, " he returned. Holding her close to him, he fell asleep just minutes after she.

*************

Like coy whispers and strong alcohol, she lured him with her lashes and the sway of her hips. With her laughing eyes and tempting touch, she danced around the span of his arms, moving close and sauntering away. She all but melted against him when he finally caught her and pressed a kiss to her malicious lips. They had tempted him all night and all morning for the better part of the day. They stood under the shelter of a tree as a strong breeze swept by.

They where in the park, behind a tree that hid them from public view. He stood close against her form, pressing her against the tree with his body as his lips hovered over hers for seconds at a time, only long enough for him to gain his breath before he assaulted her again.

Her eyes were dazed every time he stepped away but always she pulled him back. She cuddled him and pulled on him, yanking him when he refused to move. She pouted adorably he thought as he gave in, once again capturing her lips.

Eventually he stopped when she swayed after a particularly long kiss. His heart beat in his throat, tempting to jump out of his mouth at any moment. Kaoru eyes were dark pools of cobalt pulling on his heart strings with their intensity.

"I love your eyes," she rasped, transfixed by burnished gold. "I have always loved your eyes."

The corners of his mouth hitched up, amused that she couldn't see past his gaze. He shouldn't have kissed her for so long. "What time is your father coming home?"

Confusing flashed across her face, her eyes had followed the movement of his lips but she hardly understood what it was he said. His grin grew into a smile. "When's your dad coming home?"

Her lips curved into a 'O,' trying to think back to when her father had said. "He'll be home Wednesday morning. Sometime after eight, it all depends on whether his plane is on time I guess." A thought full looked crossed her face. "Did you want to sleep over?"

It meant he would have to leave early, but he was ok with it. "If you want."

"Oh, so it's if I want." She smiled. Knowing he wanted to stay with her just as much as she'd needed for him to be with her today. His arms gripped her waist again; holding her just as tight as when she'd almost passed out.

She felt his body close and so warm; her thoughts began to drift. She blinked suddenly realizing what he was doing. Her smile turned into a wolfish grin. "Well if you wanna stay that bad, it's all right by me."

He sort of grunted, caught in the web of desire he'd meant to spring on her. Her smile was sultry and she looked at him with knowing eyes. Which from his perspective only made things worse.

"Come on," she said trying to step away. Though her struggle was only half-heartedly. "We still have the movies to go to and I don't want to be late."

Sighing in frustration, he stepped back. Trying not to look at her, he waited with his hands in the pockets of his jacket. Amusement was clearly visible on her face; she stepped in front of him for a sec, kissing his chin before she stepped aside. Pulling on his arm, she led him away from the tree and back to the little trail that would lead them out of the park.

She hummed, from out of the park and through the streets, right up until he bought the tickets for their movie. It lightened his spirits to know he made her happy. He was glad he hadn't gone to work. "Will you buy me an ice cream?" The sound of her voice was awfully close he noted. Her arms had wormed their way around his waist, holding him close. He looked down at her, nodding his head. She kissed his chin and turned, pulling him along so she didn't have to release his waist.

"Hi," she smiled brightly at the teenaged attendant behind the counter. The boy spared Kenshin a glance before his eyes met Kaoru's again. "I'll have a double scoop waffle cone, please."

"Wha- at flavors." The boy's voice cracked, making him blush.

"Strawberry cheesecake and cherry jubilee." Kaoru went on as if she hadn't noticed. With her smile in place all the while the boy rushed to fulfill her order.

Kenshin laid out money on the counter as Kaoru took the cone, a delighted looked curved the sides of her mouth just before she began to lick around the sides, tasting the berry flavor of the ice cream.

"That looks good."

Kaoru paused mid lick as Kenshin and she turned to the new comer. Their eyes simultaneously turned to the swell of the woman's belly. The pregnant woman stood to the side, waiting her turn to get served. She spared them a smile, "Cravings," she explained.

Kaoru nodded and moved aside, out of the way, leaving a clear path. She took hold of Kenshin's arm again and led him towards the theater.

A frown settled on his face. The word, 'cravings' repeated itself over and over, filling his mind with all kinds of thoughts. Too many and all at once, he didn't understand any of them at all. All he knew was that he was thoroughly confused. The word had set something off in him.

Kaoru licked the ice cream, with a child's eagerness as they sat and watched the movie; too caught in the film she missed the looks that crossed his features or the increasing pressure of his hold. There was only the sweet flavor of her treat, the humor of the film and the warmth of his body, protecting her from the rest.

*************

Gloom bore a heaviness that didn't quite leave, even in the warmth of her embrace. Wednesday morning had come and with it their separation. He'd bathed and changed, he was already to go but he'd made the mistake of wanting to see her one last time before he left. Their trip to Kyoto had done a lot in bringing them closer together, now the problem was in letting go. It was hard to leave her side, especially because she seemed reluctant to let him go.

Kaoru had woken up while he was in the shower, feeling dazed and extremely tired. She'd stood on shaky legs and slowly put on a robe before she made her way to her father's room. Glad he had a bathroom, she'd washed her face and brushed her teeth before coming back to bed, to wait for him and their eventual kiss good bye. She picked up her watch from the stand next to the bed; it was just barely six am. Only four hours since she'd taken her dose.

Her eyes slowly rose meeting his at the door. For some unknown reason, her bottom lip began to quiver. She sat up and crawled closer to the edge of the bed. Closer to where he'd come to stand. He stood by the bed, looking at her, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. "I'll see you when you get back, koishii." His voice was low, trying to soothe her nerves.

Nodding, she pulled him by the lapels of his coat, brining him close until their foreheads touched. Her eyes fluttered close, breathing against his skin, feeling his breath on her face. Words hovered between them, she'd wanted to say something but she couldn't remember what.

She hid her face in his chest when he embraced her. Her heart was racing much too fast to be normal. Her breath grew short, making her feel like she couldn't breath at all. She was afraid she'd faint in front of him. An anxiety attack, like before was threatening to break loose. He couldn't see her like that. He might not let her go or worse, he'd let her go and not come back.

"I'll be back sometime Sunday." She rasped as she pulled back. "Come stay with me Monday."

He nodded, laying a soft kiss on her lips. Her breath was nothing more then a puff when he finally pulled back. She licked her lips then nodded before she stood. "I'll walk you to the door." He had to leave before the attack rendered her helpless.

Quietly they walked down hall, she noted his bag was already by the door. Her right hand began to shake and she grasped his arms now with both hands to keep them from shaking. He picked up his bag before he opened the door. They paused there, under the doorway, looking at each other before they kissed again. He grasped her firmly, kissing her until he felt all oxygen leaving his being. He knew he had to go and as difficult as it was he tore his mouth away.

He set her against the wall, trying not to focus on her heaving chest. "Call me when you get home." He nodded at nothing in particular and left.

Kaoru stood at the door feeling numbness setting in. Eventually she turned away; a small shiver ran down her spine when she closed the door. The shiver grew stronger as she reached the bathroom. Trembling now she removed her robe and stepped into the shower.

Cold water beat against her face and it's then she realized she must have fallen asleep in the shower. Quickly she stood, her head was pounding terribly but she ignored the symptom as she shut the water off and stepped out. She put on her robe and began drying her hair. She'd fallen asleep for goodness knows how long while her father was due to come at any moment.

She slipped as she ran out of the bathroom, thinking herself lucky that she didn't fall. She rushed into the guestroom, looking around for the simplest of clothes. All she found where jeans and a shirt she'd already worn. She smelled them and put them on when she found them to be ok.

Five minutes later she found herself dragging the Louis Vuitton suitcase she'd taken to Kyoto. She was glad she hadn't unpacked. She slipped just as the front door opened.

"Kaoru?" Kamiya Kenji ran to his daughter's side.

"Papa," she squealed as he helped her stand. She should have put her watch on. "I'm so happy to see you." Embracing him in a bear hug.

He laughed and patted her head. "Is this all you're going to take?" He asked as he looked down at her suitcase. She had a tendency for over packing so one bag alone seemed odd to him.

"This is it; I'm all ready?" She said looking up at her father's smiling face. He nodded and she let him go. He picked up the suitcase with one hand while he used the other to push her in front of him.

She waited patiently on the porch as her father locked the door to the house. Strolling together to the car. It was a nice black Honda that reminded her of Kenshin's car. She frowned a bit at the reminder of him.

Her father touched her arm, waiting for her to get in before he closed the door. Surprised for a bit she looked at him, then smiled foolishly, she knew she'd spaced out. The door closed once she was in. The brand new smell of the car was strong and she coughed after she'd taken a deep breath.

Kenji laughed mirthfully as he started the car, shifting into first. He drove down the familiar streets turning a corner as he headed for the highway. He glanced at his daughter who glanced out the window as they left the limits of Tokyo. His eyes fell on her ears, noting the new dragon fly earrings on her lobes. It looked liked real diamonds and he didn't remember buying her those. His brown crinkled in thought.

"What's wrong?"

He smoothed out his face, when he looked at her again. "Just thinking about work koneko." He smiled lightly. "So what have you been doing these last few months?" He tried to sound casual when he spoke.

Kaoru gave him a funny look. "Papa I call you three times a week sometimes even four and always for an hour or more. You know what's going on." Her stomach tumbled at the bold face lie. She hoped the truthful mask was in place as she spoke. She still didn't know if it was a good idea, to tell him about Kenshin. It was an on going debate within herself. In the end her father was all she would have but if she told him now she was afraid he'd take her far away. She didn't work and had no way to stay in Japan. It was too early in her relationship with Kenshin to ask him if she could stay with him. All in all she was still undecided.

Kenji stared at his daughter for a long moment. Eventually nodding before he set his eyes back on the road. He couldn't help but feel that he was missing something. He didn't think she lied but that perhaps she was omitting something. Hmm.

*************

Kaoru felt her eyes going wider with every corner she turned. The house they where staying in was _big_. She'd been left alone in the house while her father went to a meeting but now she wished that she'd have insisted on going with him. She was sure he would have taken her with him.

She left the upstairs and went back down to the first. Dinner would be nice to have ready by the time her papa came home. She kept her hand on the banister as she descended down the stairs. It felt weird to be in a new house. Kaoru made her way into the kitchen, not hoping to find anything in the fridge. She wasn't disappointed. Though she was saddened to find it was empty. Now she couldn't make dinner. Her mouth formed into pout as she went back to back to the living room. She should have brought a book or something. Sighing she laid on the couch, closing her eyes for what she hoped what a peaceful nap. Sleep was good idea, especially since neither she or Kenshin had gotten any rest. She shifted on the sofa, tucking her hands under her chin; she drifted off to sleep.

Kamiya Kenji loosened his tie as he entered the house. The lighting was dim, he noticed as he came into the house. His eyes narrowed trying to see his way around. He bumped into something hard, almost dropping the take out he held.

Kaoru's head jerked up, looking around in for what had made the noise. Her father's shadow stood under the arch of the kitchen. He was bent, rubbing his shin. She yawned and stood. "Are you all right papa?"

His head jerked up at the sound of her voice. "I'm fine; everything's just dark."

"Sorry papa, I fell asleep when there was still light out. I didn't get a chance to turn it on."

He nodded. "I brought us dinner."

Kaoru sniffed, "It smells familiar." She said taking the bag from his hands before she turned the lights in the living, setting up their late lunch on the coffee table.

"How was work?" She asked when he sat down in front of her.

"Hectic, it seems as if Akihito corp. is trying to move in on Shinbashi for the bid on Takasugi." He removed his jacket and tossed it off on the sofa behind him.

"I thought you guys where on good terms with Akihito corp.?"

"We were but if things don't pan out for us, it could get really messy. I've told you how Kogorou feels about been out done by the Akihito's." He said as he began to eat the spaghetti of his plate.

Yes, old rivalries. She nodded in understanding. Though it frightened her to see how all things were connected. She frowned and shook her head trying not to think too much on the subject; otherwise she would start seeing nonexistent patterns.

"I have two more meetings this week but they'll be in the mornings so we have to rest of the day to do whatever you want."

Her father's gentle voice lightened the mood she seemed to be falling into. She tried to smile for him as best she could through out the rest of the meal, nodding and answering at all the right cues, even though her mind seemed to drift elsewhere.

*************

Their days had been full of activities, walks and talks. She'd spent her time ignoring everything but the presence of her father. Their days together were drawing to a close though and she couldn't help but be upset. Kaoru pulled the covers higher up her chest but found that no matter which way she turned she just couldn't get comfortable.

After an hour of tossing and turning, she got up. She stomped over to the thermostat and adjusted it, until the room became ice cold. Sighing she walked back to the bed and slid in. She was hoping that was enough to get her to sleep.

With a frustrated breath she settled in and closed her eyes. A twinge ran over her left palm, causing it to spasm. She fisted her hand involuntary until the spasm passed. A drowsy feeling settled over her body and mind rendering her immobile. 'There's something wrong,' was the fleeting thought that passed over her conscious right before she fell asleep.

Kamiya Kenji put his report on the coffee table; he would finish reading the rest tomorrow. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose before he rather reluctantly stood, stretching his aching muscles. It was Friday and he should really put his work aside specially since today had been his last meeting. Still he was so used to reading over his reports at night; he couldn't sleep without doing it. A bad habit he hadn't been able to shake off.

He shook his head, yawning as he began to walk around, checking all the doors; he made sure they were all locked. The light he decided he would leave on, just in case. Slowly he treaded up the stairs and to his room.

A chilling cry froze his thoughts and for a split second he felt his heart stop. "Not again." He breathed. "Kami please not again." He ran to his daughter's room afraid of what he would find. His heart beat faster than he could think, faster than he could count. A second cry rang out, this time louder than the first. He reached her door and flung it open. Rushing to her side as she screamed bloody murder.

I hope you guys liked the chapter. It's just over twenty pages, I had to trim it several times to keep it from going into thirty. 

Small Note: Confusion has set its veil over her feelings as well as her thoughts. The pills and her will to push all other thoughts away are working together, forming an illusionary reality where she can exist with some sort of peace.

Kenshin, an active participant in her life has been pulled into the silvery web she's created for them both. Enjoying their time together, he'd been oblivious to the fact of conception. It's not till the movie theater when they both encounter a pregnant woman that he realizes what might come out of their unions. Though confused he relishes the thought and hugs her closer to him. His happiness is interrupted with the visit of her father. Kamiya Kenji. Who's come home after two months, taking advantage of business trip to visit his daughter.


	22. chapter 21NH

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com  


Chapter Twenty-one

*************

She sat on the bed, calmly looking at her father. It'd been an hour since she'd woken up, her cries had subsided sometime ago but not the fear which lingered like poison corrupting the blood in her veins, shadowing her perspective, the view on reality as she knew it. The dream had been so real, too real for her liking. She told her father about it. Leaving out only the tiniest details. The nightmare had been bloody, too horrific to recount but she'd done it to ease her father's nerves. She wished she'd brought some of her pills with her but she never thought she'd have a need for them. She didn't think she'd ever have to be medicated when she was so far away from _him_.

Time had slowed for them both, worry gripping her father while fear coiled around her form, squeezing tighter and tighter. An oppressive feeling encompassed her and now all she wanted was to be alone. To be able to cry again or scream, tear her hair out or simply break things. She turned her eyes towards her father, hoping he understood what it was she meant rather then what she said. "Papa, you really need to go to bed, I'll be fine it was just a nightmare." Her voice was coarse from having cried but she tried to smile all in an attempt to make the worry fade from her father's face.

A deep frown creased the brow of his features, still handsome even at the age of forty-eight. "I'll just stay till you fall asleep." His tone despite being gentle left no room for argument. She nodded in acceptance before she settled back under the covers, facing away from her father's watchful gaze. She closed her eyes even though she didn't feel sleepy. She had been afraid of closing her eyes; afraid she'd see the murder of _him_ as a child.

So bloody, the whole scene had been too bloody. He'd been nothing more than a child of seven playing in the middle of the road under the waning light of the dying day. The crimson mane had caught her eye and it was of no surprise that she was drawn to the lonesome boy. She'd picked him up, holding him close against her breast. She'd touched his face and smelled his hair. All the while thinking, even as a child he'd been beautiful. At his request she'd played with him, laughing as they ran around. The world paused for them while they played. Right up until he asked her to fetch him water, she should have known something was wrong then. A well had appeared some forty feet from where she'd stood. She figured she just hadn't seen it before so she did as he wanted, she walked away to get his water. It was when she reached the well that she turned to look at him. Men had appeared from the shadows, attacking him. Slashing without dismembering him. They'd ripped him open, almost turning him inside out. She'd run to his side hoping to help him in some way or at least have them kill her too. But they didn't, they'd only laughed at her, even as she threw herself over his body, blooding the clothes she wore.

Her hands began to shake as fear and dread gripped her heart once again. Kaoru shut her eyes tighter; feeling like her heart would stop. Through the haze of feelings and the raging fear she realized she was having another anxiety attack. She hoped that was the case, the attack would give her the shakes and steal her breath, till she blacked out. That's what was supposed to happen without the medication anyways.

She closed her eyes and waited patiently till all was black. There was only a small pause in which everything stopped but all too soon it passed. She opened her eyes and sat up feeling a strong headache pounding on the side on her temples. Her eyes moved to the left side of the bed where her father's head rested on a small corner. She shook her head and slowly stood. She pulled her cell phone from underneath her pillows before she walked out of the room.

She turned it on, somewhat disappointed that she didn't have a message. She drew the phone closer to her face as well noting the time on the phone. "It can't be ten."

That must have meant she'd blacked out then because last time she checked, it'd been three fifty-three a.m. She put the phone back into her pajama bottoms. She could wait another day to call him. It's not like he'd missed her so much that he'd called her. She scrunched up her face and headed for the bathroom. Her father's plane left Sunday at eleven a.m., too early from her point of view.

She washed her face and brushed her teeth before she headed back to bed. Maybe she could convince her father to stay in for the day. He'd looked tired after coming home from the meeting then to make matters worse she'd deprived him of the little sleep he got. "Poor papa," she thought as she eased back into the bed. Careful in her movements so that she didn't wake him up. She lay back on the many pillows of her bed, closing her eyes again; slowly she began to relax. She felt safer now that the sun had come up.

*************

"Kaoru."

"Kaoru."

"Koneko, can you hear me?" He'd called her several times before Kaoru's eyes slowly opened. She looked at him sleepily. He didn't look tired anymore. "What time is it?"

"It's about four. I have lunch ready." He smiled at his only daughter, helping her sit up before he put a tray of food on her lap. They both began to eat off the large plate and after a long silence, he cleared his throat.

"How often do you have nightmares?"

Kaoru's brown creased. "I would say this is the first one I've had since I came back from New York."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded her head. "Why?"

"Well I was thinking," he paused a moment. "Kaoru wouldn't you just rather come home with me?"

Her mouth fell open at the sudden suggestion. The wheels in her brained worked over time as she tried to piece things together. "Is that why you came home for the Holidays, so you can take me back?

Kenji shook his head in the negative. "No koneko, I just wanted to see you. Don't you want to come?"

She bit her lip and looked down at the plate in her lap. "To be honest papa, I don't feel now would be the best time. I'm somewhat afraid of leaving Japan."

"Why?"

"We never found out what caused me to lapse into that comma like sleep. All we know is that it happened when we reached New York and that I got better once I returned. I'm not saying that was the cause," She stressed as she halted his protest with her hand. "I'm just saying that I'd like to hold off on moving to New York. I would like to turn twenty-two without any fear."

"Kaoru," he didn't know where to even begin. Eventually he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew she was right. He held the same reserves but the thought of her coming home was more than appealing. He loved his daughter more than anything in the world, he just wished she were closer to him. They hadn't separated for over seventeen years, not until she became sick and even then everyday after work he would go and sit with her till midnight, sometimes he would even sleep at the hospital.

"I understand." He sighed in resignation. He didn't like it but he understood.

"I'm sorry papa." She really was though her excuse was only a half-truth; the main reason why she wanted to stay was because of something else, better said because of some else.

He nodded. "It's fine." He couldn't help feeling sad. Still he harbored hope, he would wait sometime of course but then he'd asked her again. He hoped that eventually she'd move out there with him. Even if she didn't live with him anymore, she would at least be closer. Close enough to see and talk to, plus he'd get to scare off all the worthless boyfriends he knew she would one day begin to date.

*************.

It seemed as if all she did lately was cry. After a long good bye her father had left, promising to visit again soon. She'd begun crying in the car, just as he'd turned into their street. It been almost twenty minutes since he'd left and still all she could do was cry. She lay on her father's bed, trying to calm herself.

A pounding headache had settled on the sides of her head, beating her temples mercilessly. She was afraid of going to sleep and she was upset that Kenshin hadn't called her. Not once, not even to leave her a message. His absence seemed to fuel her anger and it made her suspicious. What or better said who had kept him so occupied that he hadn't even bothered to call her?

Sniffling she sat up, now that she really thought about it. He hadn't even said he was going to miss her. Her eyes narrowed, feeling the stirrings of jealousy. She'd missed him, even been a bit afraid to be without him and he hadn't even called. Her chest filled with righteous anger. Well if he thought she was just going to sit by while other women batted their eyes at him, then he was sadly mistaken.

Wiping the last remnants of moisture from her eyes, she stood and made her way to the gym. A good workout would set her mind at ease. Suddenly determined she decided she'd spent the day without him. Not just that, she'd go back to practicing her Kempo as well. She'd beat anyone who even half looked at him, male or female. And she knew he had a large male following, she still read the gossip columns in the newspaper and the magazines.

Time dragged on without someone to talk to but after a couple of hours it didn't seem so bad. Four hours had passed and now she found herself struggling out of a hot bath. She might have over done it a bit. Still it's something she was going to keep up with. She spent way too much time at home; she'd lost touch with who she really was. She hadn't done anything, not even the volunteer work she'd loved so much when she was young.

Well not anymore, her father's visit was a wake up call, she was spending way too much time focusing on _him_ and if she allowed that to happen then he would end up becoming her whole world again. And she knew how devastating the loss of that could be. A deep breath helped expel some of the troublesome thoughts that seemed set in worming their way into her thoughts.

She pulled her robe off the small hook, tying it around her waist. Tomorrow she would call Seibo Byoin and volunteer her time. With any hope she'd still get a spot on the children's ward. She left the bathroom feeling positive about her tasks.

She walked back to her papa's bed, fixing the covers and everything back into place. She did the same with the guestroom, pulling the covers off, she refused to think of what they'd done on the bed. The reason's why she/d missed him so much. She rushed through her cleaning trying to get out of the room as fast as she could. Her high and mighty positive outlook wavered in the face of so many reminders.

A lump had formed in her throat, but she ignored it. She wasn't going to call him and she certainly wasn't going to give in and invite him over. She went over to the kitchen and fixed herself a small snack, she wasn't in the mood for food but she knew she had to eat. Her weight had been going up and down lately, she figured it was her depression and the medication's effects.

Sighing she half-swallowed bites of her sandwich as she slumped onto the couch, tossing a chip into her mouth from time to time. The house fell awfully empty. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that tonight would be her first time alone in the house since leaving with Kenshin just a bit over a month ago.

She tossed a glance at her watch; it was still pretty early just a bit after two pm. She turned the tv on, surfing through channel until she came across Gone with the wind. The movie had already started but she hadn't missed that much. She propped some pillows in a corner of the couch then settled herself in. It was a long movie so she figured it'd be best if she got comfortable.

*************

"Somehow, someway I know I'll get him back after all tomorrow is another day."

She'd already been crying ever since the loss of the baby when Rhet had blamed himself. She loved this movie. She dabbed her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, her breath hitched in her throat from having cried for so long. The letters had started to roll but in a corner of the screen she realized they were announcing _Scarlett_. She remembered leafing through the book and so she had an idea as to what was going to happen. She stood feeling her muscles stiff from having been sitting for too long, over three hours.

Kaoru made her way to the bathroom. Thinking, she'd order some Italian food, open a bottle of whine and then sit back and watch the movie. She used the bathroom in a rather rush afterwards she washed her hands and headed for her room. Fetching her purse quickly she peeked into the living and was relieved to see that it hadn't started yet.

She called the house of pasta and ordered her usual meal all the while she looked for a bottle of rum. On finding it she took it to the living then went back to the kitchen for a coke and a large glass.

Finally she sat, now only waiting for the food. She made a face at the actors they used to play Scarlett and Rhet, though after a couple of minutes they grew on her. This new Scarlett certainly seemed bolder than the first.

The pounding on her door made her sit up. She'd been so caught up in the movie she hadn't heard the delivery boy. She rushed to the door and opened it; she'd caught the boy just as he was about to leave. "Sorry?" She apologized handing him the money as he gave her the bag. "Keep the change;" she shouted already closing the door. She ran down the hall with the food trying to hurry so she wouldn't miss anything.

'Hmm,' she thought as she sat with the bag in front of her, nothing too important had happened while she was gone. She began to undo the knots on the bag, bring her food out. She began to eat, slowly chewing her food until she realized she had indeed missed something terribly important.

"Oh he's going to be sorry now." Kaoru smiled. "She's pregnant." Somehow the news seemed fitting. Suddenly happy she began to munch away, washing her food with the drink at her side.

It wasn't till the end of the movie that she realized the whole bottle of rum was gone. The room was quite dark when she stood. She swayed in her step but she paid no heed to what it meant. She picked up her trash including the empty bottle of rum and threw it all away. She felt a bit light but she didn't stagger so she figured she wasn't really drunk.

She turned, leaving the kitchen when she suddenly remembered the nightmare she'd had. She paused not knowing what to do. There was no way she was going to take any pills like this. "I guess I can have a bit more to drink." That thought didn't appeal to her but the dream. Really, there was nothing worse than seeing a child slaughtered like an animal. She remembered the blood and that made her mind up for her. Turning back into the kitchen she headed straight for the sink, she kept the liquor in the coverts underneath. She took a bottle of vodka and then headed back to her room.

She turned on her nightlight then sat on the bed. She took a large swig from the bottle and almost choked on the liquid as it burned her throat. It'd been a while since she'd had vodka or gotten drunk for that matter. Another swig from the bottle made her realize that it got easier to drink the more she had it and so she took another swig. Drink after drink until the bottle felt light in her hand. Kaoru brought the bottle close to her face; she could see just enough left for one more drink.

"To the love of my life," she slurred. Raised the bottle and took the last drink. She lay back with the bottle in hand wondering why she hadn't fallen asleep yet. Wasn't she drunk?

Her eyes closed while she pondered. Her body was awfully heavy and wasn't that a sign of something. She turned on her side causing the bottle to roll off the bed, hitting the floor with a loud sound.

The phone rang loud near her ear and she jumped, surprised to see it so close. "Wha's d'matter?"

There was a pause on the other end. "Are you drunk?"

Her thinking process was slow but she recognized the voice. "Kenshin." Her mouth formed into a resentful pout. "Why didn't you call me all week? Didn't you miss me?"

"I did."

"Then why didn't you call me?" Her voice wavered. "I had a horrible nightmare Kenshin." Tears began to fall down her cheeks and she hugged the phone closer to her ear. "You where little and we were playing." Her voice cracked. "They killed you right in front of me." Unrestrained tears feel freely down her cheeks, rolling down her chin and throat.

There was another pause though not as long as the first. "I'm coming over."

Kaoru nodded obediently, "Kay." She clicked the phone back into place after only two tries; proud of herself she sat up and stood. The first step took her too close to the left and the right led her right into the wall. She made her way to the bathroom rubbing her head and the side of her face. Somewhere inside she realized that she might have had a bit too much. Although she didn't see anything wrong with it, she hadn't expected to be woken up. "D's right."

She turned the light to the bathroom and staggered to the sink. Kenshin might not like her like this. She shook her head to emphasize the fact. "Dftly not." She brushed her teeth in a hurry suddenly feeling she had to pee, she half spat into the sink before she rushed over to relive herself.

She burped, feeling the acidic taste in her mouth. She made her way to the shower and turned the water on. It wasn't till she made a grab for the soap that she realized that she still had her clothes on. "Kaoru-baka.' She thought stripping down. Hitting her head on a knob when she took the last sock off. The water began to turn red and she just knew she'd cut herself. "Shit!" She cursed. One thing at a time, she thought; she had to finish her shower first. Kenshin's car is fast, so she had to hurry.

She was able to finish her bath and put a band-aid on her cut before the doorbell rang. She put her hand over her racing heart. "Kenshin." She tied her robe and headed out to let him in. She stepped out from the bathroom and ran into a firm body, screaming loudly until she realized who it was.

"You need to lock that fucking door." He said, making her look at him. The cut near her temple drew his attention; his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he touched the side of her face as well. "Did something happen?"

She shook her head, trying to get closer to him. "I walked into the wall and fell in the shower." Her arms snaked around his waist and she tried to lay her face against his chest but he kept her from doing it.

"Is that really what happened?"

She nodded. "I want to hug you now."

He searched her face for any signs of mistruth but at finding none he brought her closer to him. "Why where you drinking?" He asked after a moment.

"I dint' want any nightmares." She said pulling back to see his face. He nodded and led her away from the bathroom and to her room. He slid the covers back, allowing her to get in before he did the same. "No," she pushed him out. "Take your clothes off."

The corners of his mouth turned up and he was glad the room was dark. He shook his head in amusement and slowly began to disrobe. He paused when he heard her moving around the bed and realized she was taking off her robe, the sound of the heavy material hitting the floor confirmed his thoughts. His pants, which were the only item left, he took off faster then humanly possible.

He had come over to make her feel better not himself, he reminded as he slid beneath the covers with her. Her body was cool against his and she drew closer trying to steal his warmth. "Rest Koishii" He said scooping her into his arms, he positioned her against him differently than he usually did, trying to minimize the contact between certain parts of themselves.

"I'm not sleepy anymore." She struggled to turn further into his warmth but his hold was strong and she had trouble shifting. She bit her lip thinking a moment before laying her palm on his chest. Her palm began to smooth over his skin until it was caught. He held her wrist firmly against his stomach. "You need to sleep."

"Mou," She said in exasperation. She yanked her wrist from his hand and turned away from him. Sure, she thought, now he let's me go. "Kenshin-baka." She muttered under her breath just loud enough for him to hear.

Kenshin closed his eyes, breathing out like only a frustrated man could. It was for her own good, he thought. Though he didn't see how depriving her of something she wanted could be good. He frowned in the dark.

She'd turned away from him, she hadn't completely moved away as she still lay in the middle of the bed but they no longer touched and after a week without seeing her it'd been hard to turn her away. Didn't she know that. He sighed again, struggling to clear his thoughts so he could fall asleep. Tomorrow, he thought, I'll make it up to you. Breathing in he jasmine scent he fell asleep.

*************

Only a hint of the sun was visible when he woke. His eyes where slow in opening and he blinked several times trying to adjust his sight to the poorly lit room. A glance at his watch made him realize he'd finally gotten some decent rest. Four hours of sleep wasn't so bad, he thought as he began to disentangle himself from her limbs. He hadn't been able to sleep very well without her at his side but now, he yawned. The bit of rest he'd gotten felt like more than enough. He pulled the covers back as he sat up, a soft crack was heard as he rotated his head to the sides. His body was tense from having remained in the same position while he slept. Usually he spooned behind her but he hadn't wanted to do anything she might contrive as acceptance to her advances. She was tired and needed rest. Stifling another yawn, he tossed his legs over the side. Her hand caught his arm then, surprising him for a sec. "Didn't you sleep?" He asked, moving neither forward nor backwards.

"I slept." She said drawing closer. "Though maybe not as much as you'd have liked?"

He frowned at her answer but didn't turn. Kaoru's hand smoothed over the skin of his thigh and for a moment he closed his eyes, allowing the caress. Kaoru pressed soft kisses against his back, slowly trailing upward as she sat up. She kissed the span of his shoulders before she kissed his neck. Her tongue darted out and it's then he made a move to stand but she'd anticipated his movement. Her arms had been snaking under his arms, so when he made the sudden moment he only succeeded in bringing her closer, as her chest now firmly pressed against his back. "It's pretty early don't you think?" She asked as she nipped the side of his jaw.

He steadied his breathing. It was pretty early, he reasoned. It was only six and he didn't have to be at work until eight, he debated the idea though in the end he thought it might wise to just go ahead and give in.

Kaoru took his silence as acceptance and slowly began to move her palms over the front of his chest, feeling the hard muscle, flexing as he firmed under her touch. She breathed against his ear loving the feel of his body. She hadn't realized just how much she'd missed him till right now. She licked the shell of his ear, watching as he squeezed his eyes tight when she nipped his throat, flicking her tongue over his bottom lip. He groaned, suddenly glad he'd given in. 

This version of chapter twenty-one is edited. But as I keep saying, you can read the entire chapter if you go to my website. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review. 


	23. chapter 22NH

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Twenty-two

*************

The day was gloomy and clouds covered most of the sky but to her Monday had never seemed so bright. Humming as she walked down the street, she was in a particularly good mood so she refused to think of why or how. Instead she focused on other things while she walked down the street. The wind stirred the hem of her jacket causing it to open from the front. Her gaze drifted, wondering what Kenshin might be doing. He'd left the house late, so she figured he'd probably been late for work. An insistent pulling tugged at the back of her mind but she ignored it finding it better to just enjoy the day without the constant turmoil.

Just as planned, Kaoru walked down the familiar streets making her way to Seibo Byoin also known as International Catholic Hospital in Shinjuku-ku. The hospital wasn't too far from her house. It's mainly why she'd volunteered here before. She'd worked out a schedule of the time she'd be able to volunteer, Monday through Friday from one to six, that way she could still run all her errands in the morning. Not just that but she'd be closer to Kenshin who lived in Shinbuya just a few meters from the dividing line. He could pick her up after work and they could go home together.

The white building stood tall and grand taking up the entire square of land. She walked in through the familiar doors, feeling a shift in the air. Her eyes seemed to refocus as she entered the lobby of the hospital. She'd wanted to be a doctor, once upon a time before she became sick. She paused suddenly wondering if she might still be stuck in the dream. A dark frown began to form and quickly she shook her head. She was being stupid.

Her eyes fell on a directory on the wall a reminder of what she was to do. She walked to the elevator and took it to the fourth floor. The bell rang and the doors opened, she stood a moment gathering her strength. She was still the same person. She didn't know why she needed the reminder but found it reassuring just the same.

Her step was slow and careful as she made her way to the nurses' desk. So many new faces, she thought as she approached. "Kaoru-chan?"

The tumbling in her stomach settled. "Tae, I can't believe it you're still here." Kaoru rushed around the large desk and hugged the older woman.

Tae only twenty-eight looked at Kaoru with sister eyes. "My how you've grown." She stated running her hand through Kaoru's hair. "I remembered when you barely reached my chin."

Kaoru pouted at the taunting. "I wasn't that short."

Tae smiled. "I'm going to take my break you guys." She called out to her fellow nurses before she ushered Kaoru towards the cafeteria. "So what's going on with you? It's been a while since I've seen you."

"Yeah I know almost four years." Kaoru filled in.

"So what's going on?"

Kaoru waited till they where seated before she answered. "Well I'll make the story short." She half smiled at her old friend. "We left Japan as you remember and a couple of days into our stay I got sick. I took about three years for me to overcome whatever it was after which papa brought me back. I was very weak when I got back and it took a long time for me to get back to how I was. I've been living here by self for the last couple months."

"What kind of illness was it?"

Kaoru shrugged. "They never found out what was wrong eventually my papa got tired of them running tests that never revealed anything so he just let it drop."

"So college?"

"I never got to go." Kaoru sighed regretfully. "But I'm still young and I still plan to go. With any luck I'll be able to attend NYU next fall."

"So you're still going to go out there with your dad?"

Kaoru nodded. "I am all he has."

There was a small pause where Tae, feeling Kaoru's mood decided to change tact. "So I'm surprised." Tae drawled. "You don't have a ring; does that mean you don't have a boyfriend?"

With a roll of the eyes, Kaoru answered. "I knew you couldn't be serious for too long?" Pausing. "I have someone."

"Is it anyone I know?"

Suspicion settled over Kaoru's blue gaze. "I'm betting you think you know?"

"Well now that I know you're here in Japan my suspicion is confirmed. I wasn't sure at first."

"Yeah, yeah," Kaoru interrupted so much for hiding her identity. "He's my boyfriend. We've been going out since September."

"How is he?"

Kaoru blushed all the way to her toes. She'd forgotten how forward Tae was. "So?" Tae prompted. Kaoru bit her lip. "Come on?" Tae enthused, leaning over the table.

Blushing wildly Kaoru looked away. "He's spectacular."

Tae squealed in her chair, clasping her hands to her chest. "You have to give me more than that, Kaoru-chan?"

"I'm not drawing anything out." Kaoru stated vehemently. A beeping sound drew both their attention to Kaoru's coat. She dug through the pockets until she came to her cell phone. "Hello?"

"Is it him?"

"Ssh," Kaoru gestured towards her friend.

"Koishii?"

"I'm here?" She answered cupping a hand to the phone.

"I just wanted to see if you were up yet?" Kaoru blushed at his words and turned her head away. "Is it him? Oh let me talk to him, please Kaoru-chan. Please." Kaoru tried to draw the phone away but her friend was persistent.

"Who is that?"

"My friend at the hospital?" Kaoru answered with an exasperated expression on her face.

"Hospital? Are you all right?"

"No," she interjected at the strain on his voice. "I mean I'm fine. I just came to visit my friend. I'd forgotten how loud she was."

"I'm not loud."

"Yeah," Kaoru nodded sarcastically.

"What hospital are you at?"

"Seibo Byoin, why?"

"Do you want to have lunch together? I'm only ten minutes away."

"Tell him yes, I want to meet him."

'Shut up,' she mouthed at her nuisance of a friend. "That's fine but I'll warn you now. You'll get harassed when you get here."

He laughed; the sound reverberated loud and sensual in her ear, causing goose bumps to form on her skin. "I'm in the cafeteria on the second floor."

"I'll see you in a bit then." He promised.

Kaoru clicked the phone off and turned back to her smiling friend. "Could you be any more embarrassing?"

"Yes," Tae answered, her smile growing wider at the blush that tainted her friend's cheeks. "So you were about to give me details." She prompted. "What?" She asked at the disbelieving look on Kaoru's face. "What?"

"I'm going to tell you now."

"Oh, come on." Tae said scooting her chair over.

"No, get over there, if I tell you something then you're going to start giggling stupidly in front of him and he's going to know I told you something." Kaoru crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to spill the details of her relationship.

*************

Kenshin entered the large cafeteria, spotting her right away. She sat with her back to him, talking with a woman a bit older than she. He made his way across the room, gesturing to the other woman to remain quiet as he approached. "Koishii," he breathed into her ear.

Startled she turned, her lips brushing against his with the movement. He smiled and pressed his lips against hers before he took a seat next to her.

Kaoru blushed to the roots, biting her bottom lip, a nervous habit she'd never grown out of. Tae's grinning face only made matters worse, adding to the already embarrassing situation. "Kenshin, this is Tae. Tae this is Kenshin." They both bowed towards each other politely.

"I hope you don't mind eating here." Kaoru began. "I know it's your lunchtime and all."

"It's all right." His arms settled across the back of her chair, playing with strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.

"So Himura-san," Tae's cheerful voice disturbed Kaoru. "Are your intentions honorable?"

"Tae," Kaoru hissed. Kenshin laughed and held his girlfriend back from jumping over the table. "My intentions are . . . . . admirable wouldn't you say koishii?"

Kaoru blushed at the double meaning and refused to look at either one of them. "I'm not introducing either of you to anyone else."

Kenshin smiled and rubbed her back soothingly. "How long have you known Kaoru?"

"Kami," Kaoru muttered under her breath, hiding behind her hands. This conversation was going to take his whole hour. "I'll get you something to eat." She said as she began to stand. "And Tae I hope you remember that my cousin owns your house." She looked at her crossly before she bent and gave a Kenshin a quick kiss.

He watched her walk away before he turned his attention back to the grinning friend. He could see the questions been drawn together before they leapt from her mouth. "So are you going to marry her?"

"Right to the point." Kenshin commented.

"I love Kaoru like a little sister and I'm sorry to say that you haven't been portrayed so well by the media, what with all the girlfriends. So are you going to marry her?"

"When she's ready," Kenshin paused. "We'll talk about it."

Tae frowned. "What do you mean?"

Kenshin found it uncomfortable talking about his relationship with a stranger. "Haven't you asked her if she'd like to?" She persisted.

Kenshin's eyes narrowed slightly. "We just me." His tone dropped an octave.

"So, some people marry on the first date."

Kenshin gave her a skeptical look.

"What? You don't believe in love at first sight?"

His eyes moved away from her to where Kaoru stood in line. He hadn't before he met Kaoru but after being with her. He'd realized that's what he must have felt when he first saw her so long ago. Catching that first drop of rain with her tongue. His eyes went back to Kaoru's friend.

Tae grinned at him. "I can tell you now Kaoru isn't the most perceptive of people." She sighed. "She won't now how you feel if you don't tell her."

An expressionless facade had settled on his face. Understanding what he was being told, just refusing to give away what he felt. He somewhat nodded. "Kenshin?" He looked up, finding Kaoru's face hovering over him. "Are you all right?"

"Aa."

Kaoru placed a bowl of food in front of him before she sat back down. "What where you talking about?" She asked Tae, knowing she could read her friends face better than Kenshin's.

Tae grinned again. "Just discussing what you'd named the kids."

Kaoru flushed, her lips parting in surprise. Despite being embarrassed she turned her face towards Kenshin. The corners of his mouth where turned up and she could see something in his eyes, something familiar though she couldn't name what it was. She sighed and turned her face away from them both. She shouldn't have left them alone.

*************

She'd been walking around for hours, going around in circles. The wind had grown colder since leaving the hospital, she thought as she walked down some of the older streets in Tokyo. She found it difficult to differentiate between what she felt, with what she was supposed to feel. There was something stirring, some emotion she thought she might not be able to control.

Children.

The thought had never really crossed her mind, not since meeting him. She'd always assumed that it would be him and her, just the two of them in that last instant before everything shattered. All these hours walking, she'd come to realized that maybe her plans where too rushed or maybe she hadn't given things enough thought. She'd wanted to be done with her vengeance by January third after which she'd run away. Far away, hiding under her father's sheltering shadow until she was strong again. If she ever recovered that is.

That plan however, seemed too unrealistic. Perhaps it would be best if she left. Try again in the next life, she felt weak, like she'd taken a terrible blow today. And she knew that as smart as it would be to walk away, she couldn't. Her feelings for him were too strong. She couldn't stand to have someone else look at him not to mention touch him. Never while she was alive and aware of his existence.

The sky blurred into dark shades of gray and black, perfect for the mood she was falling into. The storm would go well with the stirring turmoil inside her heart. The feelings she'd kept pushed down the last few weeks were finally breaking free. She'd thought that if she ignored the anger, pretended that there was no hate, that maybe she'd be able to live with him. For a moment she'd thought she might be able to keep him.

She'd thought that with the right medication she'd be able to stay with him, repressing all the anger and anything else that might spring up. But eventually she'd want children with him and if she ever left the medication. She could honestly say the outcome didn't look too good.

Kaoru slumped against a tree, sitting down on the ground. Her thoughts became bitter. The more she thought about little redheaded children the closer she came to tears. It wasn't fair that she should be punished along with him. She hadn't done anything wrong and yet she would be the one to suffer till life became too much to bear. At which point Kami would spare her or she'd spare herself. Kaoru sat starring at nothing for a long time. Everything centered on a single thought. Wasn't there any escaping it?

*************

Small drops of rain had begun to descend from the sky, littering the floor with tiny dots. The day was waning and she ran, hoping to get there before they closed. The doors chimed when she entered the familiar shop. Smelling spices and herbs as she made her way further in.

"I haven't seen you in while child. How are you?"

Kaoru looked at the old woman. "Not so good Wei."

"Come to the back then."

Kaoru followed the sorcerers to the back. Hoping against all hope that she might be able to reinforce the spell she'd cast. They both entered the room taking their usual seats, opposite each other with a small table between them. "Did you come to see the past?"

Kaoru shook her head; she didn't need anymore reminders of how happy she'd been. "No I was hoping you could reinforce the spell. I know you said it was temporary and that eventually everything will break free but I was hoping you might be able to extend it, just for a while longer."

Wei looked at the young woman in front of her, despite the weeks that had passed between sessions. She still had the same expression on her face. "Are you sure you don't want to try the love potion?"

Kaoru blinked back a surge of overwhelming tears. "I have thought about it. But I don't think that's right for me." Her voice wavered and she paused. "I feel that if this hate has transcended time it's strong enough to survive a potion. And if I should marry him," She paused and viciously wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks. "One day I might snap and cause harm to someone other than him. Our children." She couldn't elaborate but her thoughts still finished their path. Their children, they'd always looked like him and if she was crazy she might hurt one of them by mistake. She couldn't take that chance. She wouldn't risk the lives or the happiness of her would be children by going crazy one day, acting against the man she'd loved until the moment she'd gone insane.

For them to be happy she would have to be sane and completely free of the hate. She made herself no illusions, knowing something like that had a one in a million shot of happening. Wishing wouldn't make anything better and so she had made her resolve.

"I need that bind reinforced." She felt desperate. All she wanted was to enjoy the time they had left. Try not to hide who she was so that he could really fall in love with her. Love her with all that he was because in the end perhaps when she was huddled in some corner of a sanitarium his love would be all she would have left. "Please Wei, tell me you can reinforce it."

Wei chose to nod instead of speaking feeling her voice would crack with emotion. She stood and began moving around, preparing all that was necessary to reinforce the spell.

Kaoru set her head on the small table feeling tears trailing down the sides of her eyes but unable to stop them she just let them be. Her thoughts circled around her obsession, around the haunting image of one man. He who controlled who she'd been and who she'd be again. Her eyes no longer blinked, remaining open as if in a trance. Her head felt like it was being split open while her heart shrank into the shadows. This was for the best. She was too weak. She couldn't fight against the stronger emotions from her past.

"Kenshin," her lips formed his name. For you Kenshin, I'll bind my emotion as many times as I can. Swallow as many pills as it takes. So I can love you, even if only for a little while. So that I can feel a bit of what I once knew.

*************

She walked in the rain, feeling calmer than she had in a long time. The air was chilling almost achingly cold in her lungs. But it felt good; it helped clear everything up. She jogged the last couple of footsteps to her house before she suddenly paused. Standing still some feet from the door. Rain drizzled over her head she was surprised that her hands didn't shake. But most importantly her heart didn't leap like it had as of late.

Kenshin eyes had settled into slits. The sky was dark and it was raining, so of course anger was what leapt into his gut at seeing her dripping wet. "Why didn't you call me if you needed a ride?" He walked down the steps and pulled her under the shelter of her porch. His tone was crisp almost cutting. He took the keys from her hands and unlocked the front door. Pushing her before him, he then proceeded to lock the door.

"Have you been here long?" She asked once they reached the bedroom.

"Long enough." He paused at the door. "Where were you?"

"Running an errand." Kaoru let her jacket fall into a heap at the floor. "I didn't think I'd see you today. It's Monday and our dates are usually Wednesday's and Saturday's." She put on her robe, tightening the sash before she shimmied out of her pants and underclothing.

"I see." His tone of voice had a dangerous undertone something she picked up on right away. She paused in her changing and on seeing his face she realized she'd upset him. "That's not what I - I didn't mean anything by it." She amended. "It's just - I would have come home earlier." Her explanation didn't seem appease him. "I'm sorry." She looked at him giving him her undivided attention.

The look in his eyes only added to the coldness she'd felt since leaving Wei's shop. A feeling which had yet to leave. She'd hoped that it was because it'd been raining, she still hoped that's all it was because the alternative would devastate her. She went to him, standing close enough to place her hands on his chest. Where was the warmth she usually felt? "Kenshin?" Why wasn't her heart racing?

An emotionless mask lay over his face emphasizing his eyes, which like gems remained cold and unchanging. "Where were you?"

"Downtown, in one of the older sections. I made friends with an old woman named Wei. I often visit her Monday's but I usually go in the morning never this late." Her hands had fisted around the lapels of his jacket standing as close as she could get without stepping on his toes. "Please don't be angry."

His expression remained fixed and for a long time neither said anything. Eventually he nodded. "You need to call me when it's like this." His hand cupped her cheek. "I don't mind taking you where you want to go."

Kaoru nodded obediently. "I have some clothes I've bought for you. Let me get them so you can change." She stepped away from him and dug into the last drawer of her dresser. Pulling out several articles of clothing before she found what she what she was looking for. Black silk pajamas with his last name embroidered on the top left pocket. "Here." She handed it to them gently.

He took them, sliding his hand over the material. She knew he didn't like sleeping in clothes but she'd bought them with a purpose in mind. "Do you want me to stay?"

She nodded again. "I'll make us dinner while you change."

"Kaoru?" At the call of her name, she half-turned. Pausing at the door she regarded him with an expectant gaze. "Is everything all right?" His voice held no inflection and his face was just as closed off. His eyes however bore into hers, trying to see beyond the facade she showed.

The corners of her mouth tilted up with the barest of smiles. "Everything's fine." She responded, gazing gently at him before she turned away, leaving him alone in the darkened room. She made her way into the kitchen, a deep frown on her face.

She could feel the change, the shift in her behavior. There was something wrong with her. There had to be because she always reacted differently when he was angry. That reaction was absent today. Her heart beat softly, so low in its rhythm she laid a hand over her breast, assuring herself of it's pace. What she'd said . . . . .

She could hurt him.

So easily, without even meaning to.

She wasn't happy but neither was she sad.

Kaoru leaned against the kitchen wall, realizing that perhaps she'd hoped for too much. She stood there, eyes glazed as she stared into nothing. What would happen now?

*************

A large vase flew across the room shattering into a tiny dozen pieces when it hit the wall. Large bits of glass and chucks of pottery already littered floor. Her breath was slightly shallow but that's all, no matter what she did, anger refused to surface. The bind was meant to repress feelings not block all of them out.

A cup flew across the room shattering in the same spot as the vase. What the hell was wrong with her? Why couldn't she have let well enough alone? A half-filled wine bottle joined the ranks of its brothers shattering just above the dent in the wall. She'd cleared the table of everything there was, cups, silverware, plates.

This is not how she'd planned to spend her anniversary. She tossed the chairs out of her way, turning them over in her wake. She'd meant to repress her anger so that she could enjoy her time with him. That's why she'd gone, that's why she'd done it this time.

She couldn't even cry. She knocked over a lamp in the living room and yanked the phone off its cord. If she could only feel angry, anything at all would be better to the empty feeling inside. It was worse than being alone. She sank to her knees over all the broken glass, grasping some of the larger pieces with her hands.

He was upset, he said he felt like she was drifting away. Kaoru squeezed the shards of glass, wincing as they cut into her skin. A stinging sensation began behind her eyes and she waited. Waited for tears that didn't come. She squeezed the shards tighter shattering them in her grasp.

She'd thought her mind would be enough to create memories she could later look back to but it seemed her heart was needed for that. Life was more than unfair to her. She wanted to cry and cry until all the tears were gone.

The first time, she'd told Wei to cast the spell because she'd wanted to repress her soft feeling, keep them from interfering with her ultimate goal. This last time she'd gone because she'd wanted the darker feelings locked away. She knew him now and she'd been willing to bind her emotions or whatever else it took to have him while she could.

"This isn't fair." She pounded on the broken glass, feeling blood splattering her face. She looked at the pooling blood with only mild fascination. After all the destruction she thought she'd at least be somewhat angry.

Maybe it was time she admitted that Kenshin might not be meant for her. She saw her hands begin to tremble and she wondered, was it because she was loosing a lot of blood or was it because the thought of him and some else enraged her beyond the standards of a sanity.

"It has to be anger." She thought because her stomach began to knot. Her hands were cold as ice and even though she saw her hands were bleeding she no longer felt any pain. Maybe I'm going into shock. It couldn't be an anxiety attack she didn't have any anxiety. Kaoru sighed woefully; she should have just stuck things out with the pills.

She looked at her black dress, swiping a way some shards of glass from her breast. It was a long sleeved turtle neck dress that fell three inches from her knee. It was form fitting, accentuating her curves, and hugging all the right places. He would have liked it she thought absently. She'd bought it just for this day. Her hands settled on her sides, far away from her dress.

Why did he pick their anniversary of all days to become upset? All week she'd tried to act as if everything was all right. She'd kept up with her their dates, her volunteer work and even her kempo. Her mannerism was the same, her reaction to things might have been slower but she'd tried, desperately even to hide the fact that her feelings weren't all in place.

Why did you have to go on vacation Wei? It would be so easy for her to reverse this. To let her go back to how she'd been last week. Still in turmoil but at least she would've been able to see that flash off gold she loved so much, the heat of his hands as they settled on her hips or the brush of his lips against her neck. She would be able to feel him and hold him even if there were doubts later.

She didn't know the bind would be so strong. But then dark magic was something to be weary of. She didn't trust anyone else to do a good job of removing the spell, afraid they might undo everything and that she did fear. The heights to which her feelings had soared, she couldn't be sure, she only knew that they had to be strong because the misery she'd felt when she'd gone to Wei last week was only a bit of what she actually felt. She would just have to wait, either for Wei to come home or for the binds to loosen. Both of which seemed to want to take their time.

It was sometime before Kaoru tried to stand but when she did she found that her energy was spent. Still she tried and she struggled, slowly crawling out of the glass, making her way out of the living room. She collapsed on the floor just a step into the hall. Her breathing came out in short little puffs. She was getting sleepy she realized and sleeping on the hardwood floors, was not the best of ideas.

She closed her eyes, gathering her strength before she rose feeling a little stronger than before but not by much. Her knees ached and her hands stung as she used them to help her stand. Slowly she rose, staggering in her step. She reached the bathroom, leaving blood on the wall as she turned on the lights.

Getting out of her dress was harder than she'd thought as she tried to pull it off with injured hands. Her shoes she left on, knowing there was no way she'd be able to get them off. She stepped into the shower and turned it on. The water ran red; thick at first with her blood but the more it ran the thinner it became until finally it all but cleared to a pinkish shade.

After sometime she stepped out. Finally feeling awake, her hands reached for towels instead of her terry robe, aware that it was her favorite. She dried herself off as best she could before walking over to the medicine cabinet.

Her right hand wrapped around a bottle, opening it quickly despite the ache of her hands. Two painkillers, she hoped was all it took. She bent and opened the coverts underneath the sink, pulling out a bottle of rum and a first aid kit.

It was twenty minutes before she finished, having removed the last bits of glass from her hands and knees. Though her knees weren't nearly as bad as her hands, having only tiny cuts while her hands had large gashes in the middle of the palms.

She applied the ointment Wei had given her once before she wrapped her hands with gauze and only band-aids for her knees. Once done she left the bathroom holding the bottle of rum awkwardly with her wrists. She avoided looking at the house knowing it was a mess. She simply strode past things as she made her way to the guestroom where he and she usually slept.

Her room was dark and cold much like it always was. But she was used to the dark and had no trouble moving around. She set the bottle on the floor before she turned the covers back. She hated sleeping with shoes on but it would have to do, she settled herself in before she reached for the rum. A sane person would never, the thought fleeted through her mind but she dismissed it. She was aware of what could happen, mixing alcohol with painkillers but she was only going to take two drinks, just enough to hurry the pills along.

She lay on the bed feeling the chill of night, reviewing everything that'd happened. After a while she came to the conclusion that perhaps she'd been wrong in thinking she could be with him. What had made her think she could go against her hate anyways? Maybe that's why she couldn't feel anything. It was punishment for going against herself. Shivering she pulled the blanket closer to her chin. She should quit been stubborn and just admit defeat. Accept it and go back to her original plan. Sighing, she took two consecutive drinks from the bottle she held before setting aside. Sleep she would, not because she wanted to but rather because it was necessary. She had a lot to do tomorrow, cleaning the house been the first before she even thought of how to approach him.

*************

The constant pounding she realized was not of her headache but of the door. She stood up almost falling, she'd forgotten she still wore the stilettos. She pulled the silky blanket she'd been sleeping under and wrapped it around her form as she made her way down the hall. Though secure she clutched at the front of the blanket. Unlocking the door without thinking, she swung it open.

Kenshin stood looking angrier than she'd ever seen him before. His eyes were already liquid pools of gold that only narrowed after seeing her state of dress. "I called you."

Her mouth had parted in surprise and looking behind him, she realized it was still night or maybe sometime around dawn. Her eyes went back to his and it was only then her heart began to race. "I must have not heard." She answered.

Kenshin pushed passed her only to have her hand grasp his arm. "I rather you not." She firmly said.

"Am I interrupting you?" He yanked his arm away from her grasp and strode in, leaving her standing at the door. Kaoru stood by the open door, afraid to go in. Thinking, this was not the best of times for the binds to loosen.

It was less than a minute before he came back, slamming the door close and locking it. He pulled her left hand free from underneath the blanket. Bandages again. His eyes moved over to her breast, where her other hand hid underneath the blanket clutching it tightly. "Let me see." He demanded in a cutting tone.

Her hand tightened further making the wound bleed. "It's the same." She admitted.

"Were you with someone?"

"No," she snapped, looking at him crossly. "Were you?" She strode past him not waiting for his response. Unfortunately he moved faster and she didn't get very far. He shoved her against the wall gripping her forcefully. He looked at her wanting to strike her for being so stupid.

She could see it, the possessive feelings that flashed bloody murder had there been someone else. "Is that why you came?" She couldn't help goading him, he'd ruined their evening. "Cause you thought I'd be in the middle of something?" His grip tightened, hard enough to hurt. Still she kept a straight face, hiding the pain at his hands and accusations. Her eyes were dark and cruel, flashing with anger. "Did you want to catch me?"

"Don't," he warned.

"Screaming for someone who wasn't you."

He closed his eyes, trying to remain calm. Anger had never felt so overwhelming as it did at that moment. The urge to hurt that imaginary someone else was great, almost as tremendous as the need to punish her. "If you where anyone else Kaoru."

"You'd have fucked me and sent me on my way." She answered condescendingly. "I know."

At a loss for words, he released his hold on her, finding the temptation to strike her too great. Still his eyes glittered with restrained menace. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, if that's all you came to ask." She began to move, stepping away less than half a foot before she was slammed back. She bit the inside of her lip as her head collided with the wall. Her eyes began to glitter feeling an overwhelming hate swallowing her whole. "I want you to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not till you tell me what the fuck is going on in there." He pushed her head with his finger. "Now tell me."

Her lips and hands shook, she was so angry. The whole week she'd spent emotionless seemed to flood into her veins, feeling everything at once and she answered without thought. "I wanted to spend time with you today. It was our anniversary." Tears ran down her cheeks, slipping down her neck. "I made plans, reservations; I even bought a new dress. I - I had wanted." She broke off.

He reached out to wipe the tears off her cheeks but she slapped his hand away. Starring at him with cold chips of blue before she slapped him hard across the face. "I hate you." Her face paled and she repeated the action. "I hate you."

His eyes hardened and all emotion drained from his face leaving only a mask in place. "That's just as well."

Her heart sank into her stomach and she tried to move past him again but he held her in place. She struggled not wanting to hear the end of his sentence. "Let me go." She yelled as she fought against his hold.

"No," He pressed her against the wall with his body. "I'm not done fucking you yet."

Kaoru shut her eyes trying to block him out as he pressed opened mouth kisses on her jaw and throat. His hands roamed over her body possessively. Skimming under the blanket, touching over bare skin. "No." She gripped his arm as forcefully as she could.

"No, " His voice was a husky drawl while his eyes filled with concupiscence, glittering dangerously when her lips parted in a shallow breath. His fingers molded over her form, drawing her into haze of desire she wouldn't be able to escape. Stroking her flesh with a possessive and calculated intent before he pulled away.

Her eyes had fluttered opened and she was caught. She licked her lips feeling more than frustrated. "You would have to ruin this too." She accused.

A half smile touched the corners of his mouth while amusement and desire mingled in the swirling gold of his eyes. 

"You ruined our anniversary." She held on to the argument stubbornly. "But," she paused following the movement of his tongue as he licked his lips. "We'll call it even it you apologize."

He laughed and drew closer to her again. "Do you hate me?" He asked setting a hand on her hip. Kaoru shook her head then stilled as he tucked his face into her neck, smelling the skin before he licked the side of her throat in a lewd stroke of his tongue. His expression was serious when he pulled back; his hands cupped her cheeks, running his thumbs over trails of dried tears. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." She nodded.

He had a feeling she didn't understand why she should be but he let it go, knowing she'd said things only to get a rise out of him. Her left hand pulled on his neck until she felt the heat of his body pressing her against the cold wall only then did she let her blanket fall. He caught her lips, kissing her with a dark hunger he'd always kept at bay. A cold flash ran through his veins as the restrains on his darker half shook till breaking free. He pulled her body close, growling deep in his throat as he crushed her against him, loosing himself in her heat and the panting of his name.

This chapter is edited. You have no idea how hard it was cutting parts from the end. Still I believe I did a good job in removing the racier parts without actually cutting out the content. 

Still if you want to read the original chapter then just go to my website. If you don't read the racier version, at least read the Small Notes, which summaries everything for you. 

Like always go ahead and email me if you have any questions. I have several stories I'm working on so if you ask me for a preview be sure I'll send it you, it might just take me a couple of days to send it out though.

Small Notes: For weeks Kaoru's been in a good mood choosing to ignore certain facts of her life. Happy in the misty truth she'd been living in until a reminder of what she can't have is pointed out. Children.

After several hours of deep thought she decides a course of action that betrays her original line of thought. She has the bind on her emotions reinforced, choosing to lock away the anger that eats her up inside. All for the chance to feel the love she once felt for him.

The spell however was cast too strong and for a while she can't feel anything. She tries to hide it as best she can, hoping he won't notice but he does. He tells her so and cancels the date on their anniversary.

She tries to get angry, breaking and destroying things all in an effort to loosen the binds. Unable to she picks up large pieces of glass, cutting her hands, hoping the pain will free her tears. Unsuccessful, she stands and heads for the bathroom where she showers and tends her wounds before heading off to bed. After a while she decides she was stupid for thinking she could love him. Considering defeat she fall asleep.

Kenshin shows up hours later, angrier than she's ever seen him before. His jealousy drove him to her home in the early hours of the morning. Assuring himself that she was indeed alone. At seen the mess of her house, his anger escalates, asking her if she's been with someone else.

Kaoru angry herself is truth when she denies her infidelity but she can't help goading him, drawing scenarios of what she could have done. The pain in her accusation loosen the last string holding her emotions back, she cries and slaps his hand away when he tries to wipe her tears. Still angry she slaps him across the face until finally she voices her hate for him.

The reaction is automatic as all emotion leaves his face. Still a part of him feels her lying and he uses the desire she feels for him against herself until finally she suggests a truce which is just an attempt to save face without truly giving in.

Agreeing to her truce, he kisses her, feeling alls right with the world until his restrains shake loose and the darker part of him breaks free.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to review.


	24. chapter 23

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.  
  
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Twenty-three

*************

A surreal haze had fallen into her mind's eye and she was no more able to resist it than she could him. Battousai had taken permanent residence in him now and she was frightened and excited, beyond delighted in her almost delusional happiness. The comb ran through her hair in cautious, strokes. It was Friday and they would be celebrating their anniversary today since things had gone wrong on Monday.

Aside from the original surge of anger she'd felt that day, she no longer felt anything but butterflies, fluttering in her tummy at the sight of him. His mannerism was slightly rougher but she basked in that fact reveled in the deepness of his voice and the dangerous sheen of his eyes. Noticing she'd stopped brushing her hair, she ran a nervous hand over the ends trying to smooth them out. He loved her hair and she'd been extra good to it. Looking into the mirror one last time she stood and smooth out the wrinkles of her dress.

Like Monday's dress she'd bought this one especially for the occasion. Her dress was strapless, thin black silk with a nude under layer, suited to fit to every last curve. It ran down, covering her feet but the way her hips moved in the fitted dress made up for the fact that it was long. Her lips were ruby red and only a hint of kohl outlined the curve of her lashes. All in all she thought he would be pleased.

The doorbell rang and she rushed her step, knowing well that she couldn't walk fast in the dress but still trying to nonetheless. The thought of giving him a key was tempting; she opened the door and caught her breath.

His suit was very informal but so black it'd win over the darkest night. No tie and a silky black shirt rather than the usual work suited one. The first three buttons of his shirt were undone and her eyes seemed rapt by the small span of skin she could see.

Amusement and affection mingled in the depths of his eyes, slowly darkening in hue as they roamed over her silk clad form. A hazy light of yellow lust began sweep over his mind; he blinked and focused on pushing down the thoughts.

His eyes remained fixed in their shade though the tiniest flecks of gold still remained. "You look beautiful," His eyes trailed over her arms, where the skin broke into goose bumps at the sound of his voice.

A slight blush tainted her cheeks at the look in his eyes. "Thank you." She stammered. "You look very nice." She felt awkward, like a twelve-year-old in front of her crush.

A soft smile touched his lips, seeing the expression on her face. He pulled her out from under the doorway, where she still stood staring at him. His lips brushed over hers in a shadow of a kiss, not wanting to smear the color of her lips. "Don't forget your keys." He warned. She nodded and stepped back inside, gone but a few seconds before she returned with a silky wrap, her purse and the keys in her hand. She handed them to him and waited patiently as he locked up.

His hand settled on the small of her back as he ushered her to his car. Opening the door for her like he always did before going around to his side. He felt calm despite what he'd planned. He started the car, roaring the engine before he pulled away from the curve.

They were silent as they made their way to a well-known restaurant by the side of Tokyo Bay. His eyes fell on her lap and the nervous way she tapped her fingers against her legs. Her nails were crimson, the same shade of her lips. But no jewelry, almost like she knew. They had yet to exchange gifts and suddenly he wondered what kind of gift she could hide in that small purse of hers.

Kaoru caught his eye, holding his gaze until a car behind them honked their horn. She moved her gaze back out the window, allowing breath to fill her lungs again. He was - words lacked to describe his being. All she knew was that he was beautiful. She hadn't thought a man could ever be but he was.

The car came to a stop and she realized she'd missed sight of the ocean. Her door was opened and she looked up at a stranger's face. Frowning when the valet's eyes fell on her breast. He extended a hand to help her stand but it was offending, watching the way he looked at her.

Kenshin appeared, moving the man aside. His eyes held the smallest hint of liquid blue, flashing a warning to the insolent man. He extended his hand to her and that she took, smiling largely at him as he brought her close to his body. He was always warm, whatever his state of dress. Together they walked into the restaurant where they were seated right away.

"This is nice," She mentioned absently as her eyes roamed over the room, lingering on the decorations that hung on the walls. Her thoughts wondered off as she looked out into the patio. Words seemed unnecessary these last couple of days almost like he could sense her thoughts. He responded wordlessly to her, anticipating what she'd say even before she said it.

The waiter came and Kenshin ordered, keeping an eye on her as he spoke. She'd been awfully quiet since leaving the house despite that the look in her eyes was clear, not haunted like it'd been all of last week. She turned to him with soft eyes, darker than the stormiest sky. "I'm glad we waited to celebrate today."

He nodded.

"I have your gift but I don't know how well you'll like it. It's just that I saw it and thought of you." She was rambling and she knew it. "Still," she pulled a small box from her purse. She took a calming breath and handed it to him. He took the offered box and opened it. His eyes went from her to the gift. He removed a thick ring from within, a sense of recognition flittered across his eyes but it was gone too soon, leaving only a feeling of familiarity. The ring was heavy with exquisite artwork detailing a dragon that circled around a large deep ruby stone. Encrusted into the jewel was a small heart with a crown around its middle. The inside bore his name though the inscription was faint almost like it'd been written years ago.

Kaoru's hand trembled just the tinniest bit when she took the ring from his fingertips and put it on the ring finger of his left hand. A delighted expression settled over her features, it still fit even hundreds of years later. She watched avidly as he fisted his hand, feeling out the weight of the ring, _his ring_, a present from her in two of their lifetimes together. It had represented his statues once upon a time. Now he'd probably consider it jewelry and not the bind it had been once. "Do you like it?"

He nodded. "I've never seen one like it before."

"It's an antique," She bit her tongue before she told him the story of how she'd given it to him once or rather how the empresses had pressed it to her slave's hand. Reaching out she grabbed his hand and laid her palm over his. So much like before yet so different. He was a blend of everything he'd ever been without any of the drawbacks. He was perfect.

His eyes danced with mirth at the glazed expression in her eyes. "Your gift," he said pulling out a larger box from an inner pocket of his jacket. He held it open in front of her, watching her eyes widening with surprise. "This is too much," She said slightly tracing the inside of the box. The need to take the gift was great but she held back, despite its sparkling beauty.

"Nonsense," He said as he pulled out a thin platinum chain with a tear drop diamond pendant from the box. The teardrop shown like a brilliant little star, reflecting all the colors of the room. He stood and walked over to where she sat. Slowly moving her hair aside as he put the necklace around her neck. He smoothed his hand over the span of her shoulders before he leaned in, fixing the tear drop diamond into place.

His touch was feathery light as his fingers brushed against her skin. Whether teasing or unintentionally, the affect was the same. Her hand shot out, pulling him, she caught his lips in a warm kiss, slow and sensual, caressing him with her lips. She released him rather regretfully, running her thumb over his mouth as to wipe her lipstick off. He licked his lips and made his way to his seat. Sighing in contentment Kaoru let her eyes trail away. A rosy blush tainted her cheeks when she realized people had been watching them.

She bit her bottom lips and turned away. A little more than embarrassed she kept her eyes cast down through the rest of the evening. Her eyes never straying from his, she looked only at him, smiling from time to time. Dessert came and went as much as dinner had. In but the haze of a bubble where time seemed to move much too quick.

Kenshin flagged a waiter down, asking for the bill. He laid several bills on the table then helped her stand. He was a ware of the linger looks her body gained and he pulled her closer to keep her from prying eyes. Unaware as she always was, she only smiled at him as he led her out.

The valet, he stared down and helped her into the car himself, closing the door, he was careful of her dress before he strode to his side. His car lurched as he shifted gears, driving away from the picturesque place. The ocean air was fresh with only a hint of salt. Oddly enough it called to her like water does to fish. She lowered her window, allowing the cool air to play with her hair. The scenic route home did a lot in helping her calm, ever since waking up she'd had this feeling of - it was hard to say. But she kept waiting for it to happen. Sighing she closed her eyes and leaned back into the seat of his car.

When she opened her eyes again, she realized they weren't going to her house like she'd thought. This wasn't the right road. Where were they going?

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Kenshin asked, glancing at his passenger.

"Very much," She stated sparing him look. "Where are we going?" He smirked but didn't answer. Confusion set on her features as she tried to make out where they could be going. "Kenshin?" She couldn't be sure but she had an inkling as to where they were going. And when his car began to slow in front of a large building, she felt her suspicion confirmed.

Her heart though it'd been calm throughout the whole ride now began to leap. She swallowed and licked her dry lips, moistening them with her tongue as understanding set in. His apartment.

Kenshin parked the car, secured the steering wheel and stepped out. All while Kaoru sat in her seat, more than a bit bewildered. Her eyes watched as he opened her door and extended his hand to help her out. Don't, a part of her mind screamed but she ignored it and took his hand. He locked the car and brought her closer to him as he led her out of the garage.

An elevator ride and seven floors later brought them to his apartment. The apartment was only seven stories and he had the whole floor to himself. The word big didn't do it justice. Her eyes seemed drawn to everything in his home, the dark furniture, the hardwood floor, the soft lighting even the few scattered plants. Everything seemed to call for her attention at once and she went, leaving his side to go explore.

Her fingers lightly touched over everything he owned but as minutes passed she noted that as grand and as captivating as everything was, she couldn't help feeling a bit sad. As beautifully decorated, as it all was there was nothing that really showed who he was. There were no pictures of him, not young or other wise or with anyone for that matter. Not like her house. This house was lonely.

She set down the small statue she'd been holding and turned, her eyes darting around the room but it was empty. Frowning slightly she walked away in search for him and after checking several other rooms she came into what she could only assume was his bedroom, it was darker than all the others had been. She paused at the doorway after seeing his shadow by the window. A flutter began in the pit of her stomach growing stronger the closer she came to him. She swallowed and laid a hand on his arm.

Kenshin half turned, his features shadowed by the lack of light. "I've never brought anyone here."

The flutter she realized had leapt to her throat and she was at a loss for words. Her hand slid down his arm to his hand where she interlaced their fingers. She brought their entwined hands to her mouth and laid a kiss on his knuckles.

He looked at her, seeing something old coming alive in her eyes. A familiar feeling that tugged on his mind and heart, a half-remembered promise. He leaned into her laying a gently kiss on her lips before he pulled back. Kaoru eyes fluttered open looking at him with large hopeful eyes. She let go of his hand and brought her arms around his neck all the while his hands slipped around her waist. He leaned in again, capturing her mouth in a tender kiss. A slow caress at first until she pressed against him, complying with her silent request, he deepened the kiss.

His tongue twined with hers in a heated exchange as he kissed her again and again. The tenderness in their kiss had long since yielded to something stronger; an untamed passion that shook his barely restrained control. His hands slid over her back, cupping her bottom as they kissed. Desire flared between them and she lost herself in the sweet strokes of his tongue, melding together in urgent need.

He broke the kiss, allowing her breath as he laid open mouth kisses on her jaw. He slid the zipper to her dress down all the while leaving a trailing of moist kisses down her neck. The dress fell to the floor in a rustle leaving a pool of silk at her feet. His fingers tangled in her hair as his hand settled on her nape, bringing her mouth to him again. An overwhelming sense of desire flooded his veins and it was too strong for him to control. Fire burned in his gaze when he finally pulled away, leaving her panting against his chest. She clutched him with trembling limbs, caught by the feral yellow gaze. Her eyes glittered with more than lust and in their depths he saw an emotion he'd only seen glimpses of. "I love you." He voiced in a low husky tone.

His words caused her to heart stop, her knees gave out and she collapsed into his arms. Her hand rose to her breast, right over where her heart lay. It pulled harder and tears sprang to her eyes. "Kenshin?" The binds. Her body trembled and she cried, hoping the binds where strong enough. "I -," Another pang flashed across her heart squeezing it maliciously and she paused to take a breath.

He picked her up and strode over to the bed where he sat down and set her on his lap. "You don't have to say it." He whispered into her hair as she cried into his neck. He rubbed her back soothingly but it was to no avail. Kaoru pulled her face back; tears streaming down her cheeks as she slowly shook her head. "I have waited so long." It was hard to form words and she choked on a sob. "Too hear you say it." She began to tremble. "I thought it might be forever before you said."

He'd been confused when she'd started crying. But as he looked at her, feeling the shudders of her body. He realized something. "Do you love me?"

"More than I can bear." She cried brokenly. "So much." Unable to continue she tossed her arms around his neck and cried. Her heart was been torn open, exposing her truth. She loved him. Already she loved him. She pulled back and kissed him with all the desperation and need in her heart. So close to shattering, she kissed him with a fervor only he could match. A savage kiss he responded to without thought.

*************

Kaoru woke up, in a strange place and in a strange bed with a man life ordained 'partner.' She moved aside locks of deepest black as her fingers lightly danced over his face. His eyes opened at the caress, revealing eyes of the darkest purple hue. A smile danced on her lip but he was stubborn and refused to smile just to please her. A spiteful thing he often was but she loved that about him. She leaned into him, kissing the sides of his mouth and jaw; lightly nipping the side of his throat as her had skimmed over his chest and stomach, down until his hand caught her wrist.

"Didn't we go over this?" She breathed into his ear. "You do as I say." She bit his lobe. "As I please." She wrapped her leg high up on his thigh, rubbing with impious intent. "And when I please it."

His mouth thinned into a line, a sign of his anger building up. "Hogosha," She warned finding it better to call him by his title rather then Kenshin. He wouldn't listen otherwise he was stubborn. Still he wouldn't let go and she started to become angry herself. "Don't forget who I am." Her tone grew cold just a step away from wrathful.

Small flecks of gold emerged in the depths of his eyes as he released her hand. "All the people love their sovereign." She straddled him. "Don't you love your empress?"

His eyes melted into gold as he looked at her, a dark menacing glare that only made her laugh. She kissed the side of his mouth and held him close. One minute of affection wouldn't kill her. Just a minute before the mask went back into place.

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Light streamed into the room, dancing lightly across the floor. When she woke up this time, she found herself alone in bed, which was just as well, it gave her time to get her thoughts in order. Dreaming of the past often left her feeling miserable, longing for something that'd passed. Which in turn made her angry at realizing what it was she was thinking. This dream however was different.

Different in that she didn't see how happy she'd been. She'd caught a glimpse of them back when their relationship was still young. When both of them still wore a mask. It was very underhanded of her to have used her position the way she did, still she couldn't lay all the blame on herself, he should have been able to pick on the fact she had feelings for him.

Sighing she sat up, there was no use in thinking about what'd happened between them then. But then she didn't have to, all she had to do was understands its message. She could live with a mask. She'd done so once which meant she could do it again just as long the binds held. They'd come close to shattering the night before but they'd held and as long as they did she'd be all right. She could afford to love.

Kaoru tossed her legs over the sides of the bed and stood. She picked up the black shirt he'd been wearing the night before and headed out in search of the bathroom.

Five minutes later she emerged with a freshly washed face and even cleaner teeth. Her hair was tousled but there wasn't much she could do about that not unless she showered and she wasn't so much in the mood for that. She walked barefoot across the floor, trying to creep out as quietly as she could in an effort to surprise him.

"Koishii?"

Kaoru eyes traveled to the couch where he sat with a cup to his mouth trying to hide his grin. Pouting, she made her way to his side, flopping down on the couch next to him before scooting over just enough until she sat on his lap. Inwardly curious he watched her movements, remaining passive even as her small hands wrapped around his cup, sniffed the liquid and set it down.

His hands settled on her leg, rubbing the skin under his shirt all the while she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close for a morning kiss. She kissed him softly, adoringly even but after a moment their kiss steadily grew, it's intensity beginning to sear until she felt dizzy and weak in his arms. Taking ragged breaths when he finally released her mouth.

Entranced by the wild flutter of her heart, he nuzzled her neck and pressed a soft kiss to her throat feeling her pulse tremor against his mouth, shuddering when he licked her lobe.

"Morning Kenshin." Her voice was just above a whisper dying off on his name as a rush of breath escaped her lips, closing her eyes as his mouth left a hot trail of burning flesh wherever his lips touched.

"Morning koishii," He answered with a husky whisper of his own, nipping her neck one last time before he pulled back though only slightly.

Kaoru's eyes fluttered open, lost a moment in his gaze before she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I've decided to keep you." She said as her hand found its way inside his shirt.

"This decision." He kissed her forehead. "Wouldn't have anything to do with last night's performance."

Kaoru bit her lip and shook her head. "I'm counting Monday's as well."

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist to keep her from bounce on his lap. His eyes were dark and full of promise when she looked into them again. "Come on." He helped her stand. "I made you breakfast."

Kaoru smiled largely. She could definitely get used to this again. "You cook but can you clean?" He nodded. "Well if you do laundry, I'll have to marry you." He smiled. "But please no pink gi." At that he shook his head, not knowing what she could possibly mean. Still he agreed. "No pink gi."

*************

Kaoru lay on his sofa, one leg on the back of the seat as she surfed through channels. His clothes were big on her and even somewhat long. But she loved the way they smelled and he'd have to wrestle her for them if he wanted them back. Otherwise she was keeping them.

"Koishii?"

"Yes Kenshin," She lifted her head to look over the sofa.

"Did you wash your hands?"

"They're clean, do you want me to help you." She let her head drop back knowing his response. "No need." He said appearing at her side with their dinner. She sat up, watching as he set the tray down on the small table before he sat next to her.

She leaned on the edge of her seat and grabbed one of the bowls. As she sat back she paused and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I didn't find anything good to watch, here." She handed him the control.

A strange wave of deja vu engulfed him at the feel of her lips on the side of his mouth. A feeling he quickly shook off though not in time. Kaoru laid her hand over his, a questioning look in her eyes. He half smiled and turned away, flipping through channels distractedly. Until something occurred to him and he suddenly turned to her.

Kaoru's hand paused mid motion and at seeing him turn she did the same. "What's wrong?"

"There's another gala been organized by Akihito.corp/" Kaoru remained silent waiting for him to finish. "I have to work detail so if you want to go with your father again, That's fine."

"When is it?"

"December thirty-first." He turned away from her focusing back on the tv as he continued flipping through channels.

"If my papa can't come." She bit her lip. "Would you take me?"

A fiendish smile graced his mouth when he looked at her again. "Anytime you want koishii."

Kaoru flushed and turned away, muttering under her breath. 'Kenshin-baka.' Smile widening, he relaxed against the couch and settled on Battle Royal as the movie of their choice.

*************

Soft light and a strong breeze descended over Tokyo as the day waned, pinks and blues blurred into a myriad of colors as afternoon settled over the day. Kaoru stood in his bedroom arms crossed over her chest and a frown over her face.

Kenshin laid against the headboard of his bed, arms crossed behind his head. Amusement glittered in his eyes but he smartly chose to keep a straight face knowing that if he smiled it would only serve in upsetting her further.

Her gaze settled on his handsome features, a calculated look in her eyes before her face smooth out. "All right Kenshin."

His eyes narrowed slightly at her tone of voice, weary of her movements now as she began to pace towards him. Her fingers slid over the wooden board at the end of the bed, slightly gliding over the lacquered finish. "You do this for me." Her fingers slid on to his legs. "And I'll do something for you."

He chuckled, smiling lightly now. "I don't like taking pictures."

Kaoru used that as an opening, she flopped on top of him, hands on his stomach. "Kenshin," a frustrated grumble left her mouth. Well make an evening out it." She leaned into him, resting her chin on his chest. "Pleaseeeeee."

After a moment he sighed and she knew she had him. She smiled largely, laying a kiss on his chin before she stood. His eyes widened slightly as she began stripping out of his clothes and putting on the dress she'd been wearing the night before. He wondered if he should point out that she needed underclothes.

Kaoru smoothed down her hair and turned to him. "I'll have to stop off at the mall." She informed him as she went back to him, pulled on his hand and helped him stand.

A critical eye ran over his body and she paused in her step. "I think you should change."

A masculine eyebrow rose. She dropped his hand and walked over to his closet. Rummaging through his clothes until she found another black shirt, similar to the one he'd been wearing before. "I like this one." She set the shirt on the bed and waited.

"Why can't we just eat in?"

Kaoru tossed her hand up in frustration. She pulled his shirt off rather brusquely before she eased the other shirt on him. She smoothed her hand over his back, fixing the wrinkles out before she buttoned him up. Still leaving the same three buttons open. "Kay," she announced, taking hold of his hand as she dragged him behind her, pausing at the door only to get her shoes on.

Kaoru stood off to the side, holding his hand as he locked up. He held her close to him as they rode down the elevator, grasping her waist as he led her to the car.

He couldn't understand why she'd suddenly decided they should take pictures. Still it's what she wanted. He unlocked the car, opening the door for her to get in before he strode to his side. He turned the ignition on, accelerating the car several times before he turned to her. "Where did you want to go?"

"Odakyu Halc."

He nodded and shifted into first slowly pulling out of the garage. A glance at his watch revealed the time to be five-thirteen which meant there would be a lot of traffic. "Did you want to stop by your house?" He spared her a glance as he shifted.

She watched his expression trying to see what he meant and after a few silent seconds she responded. "Did you want me to stay with a while?"

He didn't turn, feeling he might have said too much with his stupid question. Kaoru laid a hand over his. "We'll stop so I can get some things then." She turned back, keeping her eyes straight ahead because that's what he would do. There were some things he still seemed reluctant to talk about and being lonely was one of them. She hoped that the pictures they were on their way to take would help remind him that he wasn't alone anymore.

*************

It was just a bit past ten when they finally got home. Kaoru entered first been the one to have opened the door she held it open while he walked in, his hands full of her things.

The room was pitch black and it took her a moment before she actually found the switch. She heard the door close, lock and a moment later he turned on the light. Kaoru looked around and at seeing where he stood, she noted she'd been way off. "Sorry."

He nodded and continued the trek to his room, his arms tightening as he carried her luggage and other buys to his room. They'd spent five hours out and though he might usually think that to be too much time, he didn't this time. It wasn't when he spent it with her though.

He set everything to the side of the room, hoping she'd use tomorrow to put them away rather than tonight. He rotated his arms, feeling a bit of a pinch, a sign that he wasn't working out as well as he should be. Sighing he stepped back out to the living room. Walked to the couch and took his seat.

Kaoru rushed out of the kitchen a moment later. Setting down a plate full of pizza slices, a food he'd never touched before. He made a face, it smell well enough. Kaoru laughed and went back to the kitchen. A minute later she walked back to him, drinks in hand. "It's deep dish."

Like he knew what that meant. He watched as she sat and took a slice, brining it her mouth for a bite. She'd insisted he'd like it but he wasn't so sure she was right. Kaoru blew on her slice before bringing it close to his mouth. "Come on," she coaxed. "I'll make you something else if you don't like it."

He looked from her to the offered piece and after a moment he took a bite, thinking, why do I always give in. Though after less then a minute of chewing, he found he liked it and took a piece for himself. Kaoru kissed his lips and settled back into the couch, tucking her feet as she sat indian style. "Turn on the tv."

Doing as told, he turned it on, flipping through various channels until she told him to stop. "What is this?" He asked as he settled in next to her.

"Ageless," she felt his eyebrow rising and she added to her statement. "It's the continuation to a movie I like."

Kenshin picked up another slice and sat back to watch and after half an hour of watching he came to a conclusion. "You like fairytales."

Kaoru looked at him, her nose crinkling just the slightest. "I like happy endings, there's a difference."

That answer was cryptic if he'd ever heard it. He studied her profile feeling there was more than that to her response. Though after a few minutes he let it go until he remembered that one other movie she liked, the one that had led to their first argument. "Dracula." That didn't have a happy ending. "You like it, despite the end."

Kaoru put down her slice on the plate suddenly feeling her appetite gone. She turned her face away as she cleaned her hands aware of his eyes as she did. She'd always hoped that he'd forgotten about that. Wished now more than anything that she'd never shown him that movie. Gathering her thoughts she turned back to the tv. "I like that movie because there's more to it then just what we saw." She licked her lips and continued; careful of how she worded her response. "Their love," she drawled hoping he didn't recognize her like he did after reading the phrase on the back of the box. "Transcended death."

"They'll be together again." She turned to him, "This time without all the barriers."

His food forgotten, he looked at her, remembering the phrase on the back of the box, _true love never dies_. The insistent half promise rose around him like fog, engulfing him in the whispers of a voice long time gone. "You are mine and mine alone."

Kaoru's eyes widened, afraid he'd remember the rest. His eyes narrowed in confusion and she knew he sought the words to complete the phrase. She scooted closer to him and tucked herself against him hoping that her warmth and presence would do enough to pull him away from his thoughts. His remembering could mean the last straw, shattering her binds once and for all. A lacerating pain flashed across her heart and she closed her eyes to ease the pain, willing the hurt away. Regardless of what was to come, for the time been she wasn't ready to give him up.

This chapter was the worse for me. I have two other versions each close to twenty pages each and after reading and rereading I opted for this one. So I really hope you like it (especially since I deleted the others.) My hands hurt and my eyes ache but we are so close to the end that I'm writing through it. Even as I post this chapter up I'm continuing onto the next. Shouldn't be long now before I can wrap it up. 

Small Notes: Mannerism, feelings, symbolism. A lot of little things occurred in this chapter so let's begin . . . . . .

Battoussai's emergence and now established residence has calmed her feelings and troublesome thoughts. Her weakness has always been him and now that he's present, he's stolen her choice of what to do.

Her gift to him though a small reminder of the hold she once held over him, is nothing more than thoughtful gesture now. She'd bought it on impulse and it wasn't till later that she realized why she'd been drawn to the ring. A ring he seems to recognize, familiar he thinks but the thought is fleeting and he let's it go.

He takes her home, having already planned to tell her how he feels. When he does tell her though, she collapses. The bind on her emotions wavered, extending to the point where it causes her physical pain. She cries in distress and growing sense of happiness. Revealing a truth she finds treacherous as it contradicts all she'd originally sworn against.

After a fervent night, she dreams of the past, seeing herself content despite the masks she wore. She finds that reality is overrated and make believe isn't so bad if it will keep her happy. She wages on her rose colored reality, deciding she can afford to love.

They spent the day together, lounging around until she gets it in her head she wants them to take pictures and after a small argument he gives in. While in the car he asks her something he regrets, feeling he might have exposed too much of how he felt. Kaoru however knows and she lays a hand over him, offering comfort while she agrees to stay with him for a while. She feels his loneliness and she tries to soothe him. It's why she wants the pictures, so when he sees them he'll know. He'll look at the image of her face and he'll know how she felt that day, smiling at the camera, eyes filled with feelings only he can discern.

Once back home, they sit and relax, having a bit of dinner before going to bed. It's at this time that he brings up Dracula, the reason for their first argument. This topic worries her because she knows what kind of feeling they woke in him the last time. Careful of her wording she answers his questions avoiding anything that might remind him of the past.

But the words still come and he voices them out loud. "You are mine and mine alone." Kaoru knows the rest but she's not going to tell him. She sees the confusion he's in but she refuses to fill in the rest, afraid that if he remembers it will be the end of them. Not because he'll be mad or because he might push her away on the contrary, his emotions would be too strong for her to handle. It would be too much and it would push her over the edge. Perhaps she'd see a life time in his eyes but that would be gone with the next sec as her binds shatter, plunging her into a madness worse then the twisted grief she felt at his death. All that she fears and because of that she pulls into him, knowing he can crush her but unwilling to let go just yet.

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Don't forget that anything between these lines means dream sequence. 

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Like always email me if you have any questions. I posted a lot this time so I hope that can hold you for a while. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review. 


	25. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0o you may contact me through the review button, since I can't get this _DAMN _Quickedit thing, to bring up my email address 

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Chapter Twenty-Four

Life seemed beyond perfect and whatever the circumstances, whether they be real or not. A fantastic dream or even a side affect of magic, it didn't matter, at least not now, when she was so deliriously happy. So wondrously in love, her feelings for him encompassed everything and though she'd shied away from them at first, now––she didn't think she could live without him. His presence was too strongly needed; he was like the sun and she the flower. She lived for his caress. And though she knew somewhere deep down that this was wrong, that this could only lead to hurt and pain, _so much pain_, like before. She seemed to forget everything when she looked at him. His gaze, touch and voice, they did away with her sanity, leaving her helpless and wanting. Oblivious to the warnings of her heart or the tremors of her binds; she gave herself to him completely. Binding him with every touch and kiss, gradually enslaving his thoughts. Like before, ages ago in that world of silk and lies, devotion and deep seeded love. So much like before and yet so different all at once, because now, he stole so much of whom she was, he didn't seem to mind, loving her without question, thought or reason. He loved her wholeheartedly. And that alone was reason enough for her to forget . . . . if only for now . . . . .

Kaoru pressed a soft kiss to his lips, nuzzling him adoringly; she tucked her face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent as though he were the very air she needed to fill her lungs—not to keep alive but to live. With him, always at her side, she could wish for nothing else. She needed nothing else, only him. _Always . . . only . . . him. _She closed her eyes and sighed, burying her face deeper into the ever-comforting warmth.

An old man cleared his throat, abruptly snapping her attention back to the present and reminding her of where she was. Her eyes flew open and she quickly stuck her hand into her pocket, ready to pull her wallet free when suddenly—a hand, warm and rough from years of hard work and practice with weapons, settled over hers, effectively stilling further movement. And so bemused, she looked at him, gazing at him questioningly.

He jerked his head sharply to the sides, shaking rogue strands out of his eyes, he said. "I'll pay." And laid money out on the counter.

He was pleasantly surprised when she leant back into him, kissing him fully on the lips. She murmured a soft 'thank you,' which he acknowledged with a simple nod before he took his change back off the counter and slipped it into one of his pockets. Loosing but a moments contact with her body before his arm slid around her waist again, pulling her in possessively towards him as he led her out of the small post office and into the street.

She turned to him slightly, shifting easily within the embrace. "Do you think he'll like it?" She asked, concerned even after mailing the gift.

"Aa," he reassured. "Because it's from you."

The corners of her mouth curved up slightly; she knew he sometimes said things very uncharacteristic for whom he was but even so, she couldn't keep herself from smiling. He almost never said anything that she might contrive as 'mushy' so she couldn't help but find it amusing when he did, like just now. Her grin turned impish and she slipped an arm around his waist, thinking herself a smiling idiot, she stifled her laughter and pulled him closer.

It was Friday, already the second week of December and she had but nine days before Christmas. Her father's present had just been mailed and she'd already bought the present for her cousin and a few friends. All she had left was Kenshin. It was corny the way they exchanged gifts every month but considering her state of being, it served its purpose. A lifetime of love wrapped around a great many gifts. Kaoru lowered her gaze trying to shake her bad thoughts away.

"Do you still want to go to Ameyoko?"

"No," She stated absently. "I'm getting fat."

He refrained from commenting. A woman's weight seemed like a touchy subject. Besides she'd put on less than five pounds and the only reason he knew that was because he'd been present when she'd weighed herself. Even so he was kind of hoping it wasn't regular weight she was putting on.

"I was thinking we could go to Isetan, do a little shopping and have dinner there." Kaoru voiced brining his inner thoughts to a halt. He nodded as his arms slipped off her waist and opened the car door. Holding it open while she slipped in, he closed it soon after and made his way around to the other side.

Kaoru, who waited eagerly for him to take his seat, began to speak the moment his door shut. "So I was thinking." And he looked at her as he started the car. "Could we get a tree?"

A tree.

She saw his brows knot in confusion and decidedly expanded on her previous statement. "A Christmas tree, you know get into the spirit of the holidays. I thought, well since I'm staying with you I thought it would be nice if we could celebrate.".

"Hhn," it seemed like every time they went out they bought something new for his apartment. He couldn't understand it and he had yet to ask her why. But if she wanted to, well -

Kaoru could read his face, could see the inner struggle and the moment he lost the argument within himself. The signs flashing ever so briefly, if she hadn't known him so well, she might not have been able to pick up on the subtle differences his expression showed. As it was, she hid a smile and waited but a moment before he answered.

"That's fine."

"Great, we can get the decorations today and the tree tomorrow." She already had an idea of where she wanted to put it and he had such a big house, it would look just like the magazine. Already, she'd bought him rugs, cushions, plants and she frowned trying to remember what else.

Kenshin openly smiled, seeing her deep in thought no doubt trying to rearrange his furniture in her mind. He idly thought that's how women must test men and how much they loved them. He could see Kaoru in her pink jumper; _move the sofa over there, no further to the left, more. All right a bit more. _Then pausing, _you know what, I think I liked it better where it was._

As troublesome as it sounded, she eased everything with a smile or her laughter. The way her eyes glazed over after he kissed her or the way she sighed his name. He sighed himself then, knowing how helplessly in love with her he was. Kaoru abruptly turned, happy and bright eyed, she laid her hand over his, grasping him with reassuring warmth and strength. He half smiled at her. Knowing that what he wanted for Christmas, she couldn't so easily fit in a box, well perhaps a large box, he thought. Smiling wryly. He turned his eyes back to the road and shifted gears.

· · · · ·

He'd never been to the mall during the Christmas rush and now that he saw it first hand he was glad. Kaoru latched on to his left arm, pulling him away from the entrance. Weaving through a large crowd until she decided their first stop.

"A toy store?"

She turned to him, teddy in hand. "I volunteer remember. I need toys for the kids."

He nodded in understanding, following her through the aisles as she picked up things. He was handed a bag and found that to be easier since he was carrying everything. Kaoru tossed Barbie's, sailor scouts and all kinds of stuffed animals into the bag before heading over to the boy's side; there she looked to him for advice. Though not having had a normal childhood and as he never really got to play with toys, he merely agreed when she suggested something.

It was nearly an hour before they actually found their way to the registers and once there they still had to wait in line.

"Wow, how many kids do you have?"

The comment educed a rosy stain to spread over her cheeks and embarrassed, she cast her eyes to the floor, retreating into him as she sought a place to hide. Kenshin though amused hid his smile and held her close as they waited for the transaction to come to an end. And though it took a while, having picked out so many toys, she was quick to give her money up. Hastening the boy without words, she cast her eyes towards the door, hoping he kept quite and that Kenshin would quit smiling.

They left the toy store with five bags; two of which she insisted on carrying. Kenshin refused and though she was adamant in her argument, she didn't win. He was vehement in being the one to carry them though in the end he let her carry one, the lightest of all five. That is, after he took several things out.

Pouting, Kaoru snatched the bag from his hand. She'd wanted to help him; it wasn't like she couldn't have carried the bag if it'd been a bit heavier. Still annoyed she remained quiet, giving him the silent treatment until she saw a cotton candy vendor. "Let's take a rest." She said as she tried to pull him along. He was heavier than usual though so instead she settled for guiding him around a crowd of children.

He stood to the side while she bought her treat, a large fluffy cloud of the palest pink and blue. Delicious in its sugariness like only cotton candy could be. Kaoru licked her lips. "My dad would always buy me these," she said as she pulled him over to a bench, making him set down the bags as well as sit. He noted then as she did, that with all there things and him, there was no more room left on the bench for her.

On impulse, she sat on his lap, forgetting she'd ever been mad. She tore a piece of the cotton candy and stuck it into her mouth. "Mmm," she savored the taste, calmed by the tingle the sugar sent up her spine, she tore off another piece and brought it to his lips.

Kenshin looked at the her treat with dislike, all that sugar, the treat honestly didn't appeal to him but the moment her fingers touched his skin he opened his mouth. Allowing the sugar past his lips.

"I need to buy some baking supplies." She thought, biting into a large piece of a cotton candy. "Do you mind if we go to Hoshi's next?" She asked, putting a smaller piece into his mouth. At the shake of his head she nodded and patted him absentmindedly, eating her snack and feeding him from time to time. She ran over her list of things to do. Inwardly reviewing, she wondered if there was anything she might be forgetting. Looking around distractedly, she tried to think of what else she might need to give him the perfect Christmas.

Kenshin smiled at her expression, taking the offered bites she brought to his mouth. His thoughts wondered, trailing back to something he'd been thinking as of late . . . . . mainly, how anyone her age, could still retain such child like innocence, specially in this day and age and even after knowing death. It was hard for him to fathom and yet, he knew she'd been sheltered all her life, just as he knew it was more than possible for her to have remained so if he had never come along. She was still so young and so very naive—a contrast to him in almost everyway. He was older, more experienced and not innocent at all. They were as different as night and day. And yet, she never made him feel that way, what she made him feel was overwhelmed. His emotions—bared, unrestrained and raw, they were pushed to such great heights; they left only the most extreme and primitive feelings behind. He loved her with such a need and so strong a passion; it often overpowered him. And yet, it was during these times, these moments that he became acutely aware. Everything refined into crystal clarity, so sharp and fierce, he felt more than knew that what he felt for her went beyond the limits any human emotion could ever hope to reach, it was simply too strong to have been born.

She'd lured him more effectively than light ever could a moth. It was in her gestures, the way she looked at him and touched him. She had a way of making him feel like there was nothing beyond him, even before she'd confessed her feelings. She'd made him feel like he was her whole world. And the elation, he took from that compared to nothing like he'd ever experienced before. Even when lost in the haze of desire, the feeling was different. The elation of knowing she loved him sent a sort of calm through his system. So unlike their twining, when his feelings and desire, swallowed him whole. Raging through his veins like madness, so overwhelming in their assault of his control, they toppled him head first into chaos, and then there was no more. No restrains, no thoughts, no worries, there was nothing but him and her, and the séance of rhythms between their bodies and mouths, moving together in a desperate dance of love and desire, of passion and pain. Heatedly melting against one another in blind–violent pleasure, such mind shattering ecstasy—the very thought sent a cold flash of awareness down his spine.

And the contemplating look previously masking his face fell as her sticky hand touched the nape of his neck. His eyes, darkening with the slow brush of her fingers, kindled at the unintentional, eroticism in her caress. He knew she had yet to realize it but she touched him constantly, almost like she needed to feel him. He couldn't quite understand it but he exploited it shamelessly.

· · · · ·

Kaoru held the door wide open, bouncing in place as he pulled the tree into the house. And though leaving dozen's of pine needles in his wake, he knew that though he might have cared once about what a mess he was creating. Now, he could care less because one look at her bright face and he'd surrender. A pander to her every fancy. He thought it ironic, that now he of all people, should be led around by a woman.

Oh, how things change.

He inwardly smiled and let his eyes roam over the room. Noting she'd already set everything up, he thought, _she waited only for the tree now _and hurried to complete his task. While she, acting as if she'd read his mind, moved things out of the way, growing eager as he made the last couple of steps to the base. She gasped, as he, with one fluid movement stood it upright and with an even quicker flick of the wrist, unfastened the strings binding its small branches.

"That was great." She enthused, hugging him quickly before she tended to the tree and occupied herself with the task of getting it ready.

Kenshin, ever the one the one to indulge her whims, smiled and walked over to the sofa, where exhausted from his task, slumped into it and closed his eyes, briefly wishing they would hurry up and fix that damn elevator. He begrudgingly admitted that while seven floors didn't seem all that that high up, it was a hell of a lot more when pulling a pine tree seven flights of stairs.

Kaoru pressed a cold bottle into his hand then, watching his eyes flutter open, she smiled and released it to his grasp. Whereas he, taken by her sudden appearance, slowly came to realize it's contents. The beverage of his choice, she'd brought him sake, cold sake, to be more precise—just the way he like it. _Kaoru._

She smiled sweetly. "I'll start dinner in half an hour, so try not to fill up." She advised, already turning her attention back to the tree.

He opened the bottle and took a swig, and while reaching for the control without preempted thought, he did turn the tv on. Putting it on some random channel, he watched her out of the side of his eye, following her movements as she swept up the pine needles littering the floor, quickly and efficiently before she once again turned her attentions to the tree. Touching it so tenderly, he suddenly wondered if this is how it would always be. Quite and still, like a dream, within a dream. So surreal—he abruptly rose, putting down his drink without ever consciously considering what he did or prompted him to silently make his way to her side. But there he stood just behind her, a mere hands way from his grasp.

His shadow fell over her light and she turned, about to ask what he wanted, when sight of his expression caught her still. His usually calm features were drawn together, masking his expression into something unreadable. And yet, not so undecipherable—not if she looked at him carefully. Unconsciously, her face softened and the words on the tip of her tongue, altered, amending a half–thought phrase. "Did you want to help me?" She asked. Gazing at him with her large blue eyes, she tried to decipher the reasons for his sudden change in behavior, this retreat behind a mask, it wasn't like him. This was more like–

"Aa."

And there was something in the way he looked at her when he spoke that made her pause. Made her heart beat a little faster and her eyes to light. A genuine smile blossomed over her features and though she'd yet to understand the reasons behind this sudden shift in personality or even what thought might have prompted such behavior, she smiled, knowing only that whatever it was, whatever affliction, she could fix it. She could soothe him and whatever demons he struggled with now.

Because he loved her.

And because she'd rather die first then ever admit that her affections, stronger than time itself, were not strong enough to cure his troubles. Whatever they may be. Her lips quirked into a wry grin and she mentally shook her head. Concentrating on him instead, she said, "here." And handed him a box of glass ornaments. "You can do the top."

Obediently, he nodded. Watching her still from the corner of his eye, he did as told. Working diligently beside her, it came of no surprise to him when minutes later, the small twinge of 'something' he'd felt, subsided, gradually changing into something else, more familiar. The odd feeling seemed to phase into a comforting sort of warmth, that all at once seemed to fill the hollow spots in his heart and mind, erasing his worries like only her presence ever could, always with her warm smiles and gentle kisses, so alluringly soft and soothing. _She would make a good mother_, he thought. Ignoring how the mere idea constricted his heart, he continued working, placing the tiny crystal spheres all around the top of the tree. Wondering despite his efforts, of what it would be like—for her—to bare him children. He wondered . . . . .

Forty-five minutes later, after the lights were turned down and the living room, now submerged in utter darkness and hiding his form from view, he called out to her patiently. "Ready?"

"Ready," she called back. And after a fast flicker, the lights around the tree came on. A few seconds later, he emerged from behind the tree and walked over to stand besides her, whereas soon as he was close enough, Kaoru ceased his arm. Squealing in a nearly breathless tone, "It's so beautiful."

At the sound of her voice, his head turned, shifting away from the tree to gaze down on her face. Lit by the various shades of color, each group, flashing in perfect union. He watched the reds beat together. Illuminating her features in a wash of crimson flames before the shade switched to blue and then to green, working their way through yellow before they flashed a whitish pink, an odd color he'd originally thought but she'd done such a good job in displaying them. He kissed her forehead and she backed away, smiling largely. "I have to make us dinner, still." She explained, unable to hide the mirth filling her eyes.

He blinked, bemused for an instant before he realized what she thought he'd meant and smiled. Purposely lowering his voice, he said. "I don't think that's what you want." And inched closer. "I think," and she shuddered as he pulled her close. "You want me."

His voice had the desired affect, mesmerizing her into a state of compliance, mute and immobile in his arms. He smiled knowingly, drawing out the last two words, he whispered, "To cook."

But in her haze, she could but blink. Her mind, a jumbled mess, tried to make sense of what she'd heard while the rest of her wondered when he'd lean down and kiss the rest of her thoughts away. And so she looked at him and waited. Waited patiently for that mind-numbing kiss to come and hurl her out of her skin. For that one light caress to send her heart into near arrest, so agonizingly sweet and tender, how passionate he could become, so incited—the mere thought of him in such state, clouded her ability to think. And though he laughed at her expense, he caught her in his arms, crushing his lips to hers, before any protest could be raised.

He kissed her thoroughly, leaving her dazed and panting. Breathing so hard against him, he rethought the idea of releasing her. And yet release her he did, dropping his arms from around her waist. "Go sit," he ordered gruffly, the edge in his tone barely masking his desire. "I'll make dinner tonight." He amended, much calmer, as he reigned back the need and hunger apparent in his tone mere seconds before.

Though to Kaoru, who still leaned so heavily upon him, face pressed close against his throat, heard nothing but a rumble and he sighed as he realized this seconds later when she didn't pull away and nuzzled him instead. "Kaoru," he tried again. Pulling slightly back and tilting her chin. "I'll make dinner tonight, go sit." He wooed, gently rubbing her cheek.

Kaoru half turned, looking over the couch and back at him. She shook her head. "I want to help you."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to." She offered, raising her chin for another kiss. He smiled and complied, giving her a _long _lingering kiss that swept everything in its wake, heating her blood and hazing her mind. He kissed her until she felt her skin hum, vibrating with a need only his touch could ease. So strong an ardor zinging through her veins, she swayed in his arms and he pulled back. Breathing ragged, he watched her eyes flutter open, ever so slightly at first, like the wings of a newly formed butterfly. They opened slowly, revealing two dark pools of blue that gazed at him rather sleepily as she tried, almost in vain one would think to catch her breath.

The sight she made, with her drowsy eyes and flushed face. Brought about an unexpected wave of male pride to fill his being. Knowing that a kiss was all it took to make her, his, starring at him with hooded eyes and slightly bruised lips. It was enough to unleash the dark hunger he kept at bay, always there, lurking just behind his eyes. Such possessive dominance, it tempted his every thought, coloring his reason and actions, crushing him beneath a white–hot feeling that too often overpowered him. And though he refused to let it dominate him, he did at times, find the pull to be too strong, yielding against his will, his senses drowned, sinking beneath the surface of his conscious until only the wildness remained.

Such love, such passion, he could not ignore it and because he knew this, admitted if rather reluctantly, that it'd be best to stop. Now before it became too hard and while he still had some semblance of control. And so, sighing under his breath. He drew back, hardening his heart against her whimper, a soft protest she voiced as her hands came up to clutch at his clothing, hoping to keep him close. Her gaze, already dark and misted with the stirrings of passion, conveyed her state and need. Kindling his own feelings of desire, until finally he picked her up, seemingly unaware of his actions as he carried her off—to the comforts of his bed.

Dinner as it was no surprise ended up being rather late. They too often became _sidetracked_, so the fact that they now sat eating takeout was not an odd occurrence but rather the norm for them. As it was, they now sat in silence.

Kaoru on the sofa and dressed only in his shirt, ate her sukiyaki, seemingly ignorant of her beloved's warm back resting against her legs. Her gaze, so often bright and full, was for a moment, unfocused. Lost in memory—they each reflected on private thoughts.

Though smiling when their gazes met, she leaned in to kiss him. Softly, temptingly, she pressed her lips to his. Unaware of how her eyes shown, she remained oblivious, missing the lingering longing that filled his eyes. She returned to her meal, and eventually he did too.

Minutes later, when they were done, she stood and took their plates into the kitchen. Tossing away the empty containers and other dirty paper plates, she made her way over to the counter and retrieved the tea she'd made before dinner had arrived. Carefully grasping the mugs, she turned and slowly made her way back. The edge of his shirt, so long on her form, whispered against her thighs with the movement of every step as she strode back into the room.

His eyes, in the midst of shifting between shades, darkened as she approached him. Only half aware of her speaking, he took his cup from her outstretched hands, reflexively grasping the handle, his fingers brushed against hers and was surprised, by the small spark of desire that flared at such contact. Automatically raising his gaze, he was a little disappointed to see she had not felt the same.

Sometimes . . . . .

He really wondered if she was even half-aware of how she affected him. How the mere sight of her, stirred him. It seemed almost irrational of course, that she should know his every thought but his feelings for her––did she know how much he loved her?

Could she _imagine_ the things he'd be willing to do for her?

Sometimes he didn't think so. Her gaze was so gentle. It seemed almost unthinkable. And he would surely believe her so if not for the dark gleam that sometimes entered her gaze, the way her mouth curved into a knowing smile. So sensuous and full, it almost over shadowed the cruelty in her gaze. And if not for already knowing how she felt, he would surely think––the soft press of her body, interrupted his thoughts and he turned his head, automatically pulling her closer. Her face upturned and he gave into the unspoken request, kissing her gently. She smiled at him, so dreamingly and her eyes filled with such contentment, it made his heart ache. So beautiful, it made him realize just how insecure he was being. She loved him, of course.

More than sanity could ever help me bear.

Her confession, still so fresh in mind, warmed his blood and filled his heart. So much, he couldn't help but smile, even as her gaze returned to the flickering lights, he smiled.

And though often enough to grasp her attention, this time it did not. It was not enough to chase away the sudden haunting that filled her heart. Even with his presence. Kaoru's gaze, detract from everything but the soft flicker of the lights. As though mesmerized she watched them flash a brilliant vivid shade before succumbing to their fate and dying. Only to return a second later, in a different shade, just as bright and just as sad . . .

· · · · ·

Her dress was a dark shade of crimson, long and flowing with a thin gold belt around her waist. The same shade of gold as the fine thread that trimmed the long sleeves that covered her hands and the deep v-cut of the front of her dress. She turned in front of the mirror finding that no matter which way she turned she still looked like a princess out of medieval times. Her hair, down and over her back, cascaded like a satin black cape, which only added to the effect.

As for her face, she ran her fingertips over her unblemished features. Carefully inspecting her expression—she was momentarily startled by the lingering sadness she found there. A sort of knot began to form in the back of her throat and dulled pain threatened to sting her more now, than it ever had before. And so quickly before it could take form, she shook her head and pushed the sudden sentiments away. Reminding herself, that battousai picked up on everything. From her unique scent of jasmine to the last lingering traces of sugar on her lips, she knew he could detect the fluctuating of her _ki_ still, even though he no longer realized what it meant, he sensed her distress and she didn't want that, specially tonight of all nights. No, she had to be careful; she couldn't afford to cry. She had to be strong, like before, she had to remain strong and firm, if not for him than at least for her sanity.

Sighing, she refocused on the image of her face and picked up a small kohl pencil from her vanity, running it slowly across the edge of her lashes, it left behind a dark–smoky line, which seemed to accentuate the natural curve of her eyes, adding depth and intrigue. She added dark lipstick next and finished it all off with a light press of powder over her nose and brow. Before lastly adding two small ruby jeweled combs to her hair, one on either side of her head to keep the hair from coming into her eyes.

Finally done, she inspected her image for flaws and though displeased with what she saw, she was not at all surprised by the image reflected back at her. She twisted her face into a mask of anger and recognized the expression almost immediately. Such scornful features, they seemed almost amplified by the deep cobalt of her eyes and the malicious twist of her mouth—a mouth, she'd always stained the deepest shade of red. So spiteful still and yet, despite her cruelty and petulance, they retracted nothing from her beauty. Oddly enough they seemed to highlight the dark gleam in her eyes, playing over the shadows, her hogosha, had once worshipped with all his heart.

Kogo.

The word meant nothing now, it was just an ordinary word like any other, one that could easily be found in a book or fable, referring to the title once worn by the emperor's wife. Only once had it meant something—long, long ago, when the land required vigilance still, had it meant respect and fear, loyalty and love, binding the life of one man to a now forgotten empire. Kogo, empress, or sovereign, how simple her title now seemed, so simple did it all now seem now that she'd lived through it. So unlike before when responsibilities and pride, and pain and love had threatened her very existence. Her dynasty—she suddenly shoved aside the nostalgic feelings grasping at her heart and though she wondered why the image of the empress was by far the clearest of all her lives, she did not dwell on it too long. Though for a moment, she did wish she'd retained her sentiments from then. Being able to manipulate her feelings as well as his would surely have come in handy. Having him follow where she led, her thoughts abruptly ended there, when she realized where it was leading to—this line of thinking, she shook her head, reminding herself once again, that she was no longer that impious woman, so callous and vindictive, _no_, she was no longer like that.

Her feelings for Kenshin, they weren't based on loyalty or dominance. They were true even if a bit tainted, but that had nothing to do with her, it was her past self that harbored anger and hate towards him, not her. She wasn't cruel, not like the empress, whose temper constantly escalated in to explosive confrontations between her and her beloved.

It was mere coincidence that they shared so many things in common. Her preference for the same colors, her love of storms, or even this strange affinity for an aggressive lover. It was just a coincidence and an easily believable one at that, only her reflection knew differently, starring at her through veiled eyes.

The image seemed to smile and Kaoru turned away from the mirror, leaving the room and previous thoughts behind, she headed off to the kitchen. Focusing not on the tricks her vicious mind could often play on her unsuspecting psyche but rather on all the things she still had left on her to-do list, she counted off what she'd already done.

For one, she'd done all the cooking before she'd gotten dressed so everything was done including the pie, which had taken her a bit longer than she'd thought. Even still she felt it worth it. If only to see him smile—the smell of cinnamon and apples, of roasted chicken and honey glazed ham, greeted her as she set foot into the kitchen. The wonderful aroma, so thick and warm against her skin soothed her worries over the day's importance. Though Kami only knew, she'd spent days trying to make everything perfect. And now that she was done, she felt relieved, glad that everything had turned out all right. The days had marched on much too quickly for her liking and she'd been afraid that she wouldn't find everything in time. Checking the stuffing one last time, she put the lid back on and left the kitchen.

The door creaked and she ran to open it. "Kenshin," she greeted hugging him as he came in.

"Koishii?"

She nuzzled him, inhaling his scent before drawing back. "Okarei nasai," she greeted. Her tone, so full of delight, constricted his heart. Strangely affected by her words. "Tadaima," he returned, to which she smiled, stepped back and took his coat.

She'd been waiting for him to come home all day but now the he was, she didn't know where to begin. Closing the door, she ushered him inside, "Dinner's all ready." She said, leading him towards the window where she'd already set up two tiny tables. One with a mini banquet and then another, more elaborately done, which sat some feet away, covered in a white table cloth with gleaming silverware and a set of candle sticks that rose high of the center.

His sense of smell picked up various scents and his eyes widened slightly when he saw all that she'd set up. His heart contracted with emotion again and he found himself at a loss for what to say, except for, "Why?"

"It's our first Christmas together and I wanted to make it special." She said as she pulled back the seat for him. He sat not knowing what else to do. Words lacked to describe her actions, all the effort she'd put into doing this. His eyes followed her as she moved away from him and to the table she'd set up. He pulled off the jacket to his suit and loosened his tie.

After a moment she placed a plate full of food, in front of him. Beautifully adorned and smelling just as exquisite. "I've spent all day in the kitchen." She said as she began to pour wine into a glass flute. "I hope you like it." She smiled, handing him his glass before she poured another and set it aside as she took a small portion of food for herself.

Sitting across from him, her fingers wrapped around the delicate glass stem of her flute. Toasting, "To our first Christmas." And raised her glass.

He clinked it against hers, watching as she took the first drink. He slowly brought the flute to his lips, drinking the light colored wine as his gaze, never wavering from her beautiful face. Caught the slight and almost imperceptible shudder that swept through her form, as the wine filled her blood, flushing her skin, a most fetching shade of pink. He smiled, posing the glass to his lips for another drink when he suddenly realized the reasons for her constant shopping. The insistence in knowing all his favorite meals—she'd been preparing for this.

The sudden realization caused an odd sentiment to fill his heart and though he tried to shake it off, he found he couldn't. It was there, stuck in his throat making it hard for him to breath. And whether for them or for him, he didn't really care, he appreciated the gesture all the same. Kami only knew, he loved her all the more for it. Though he'd love her regardless, he was touched by her actions.

Kaoru, smiling still and glad that he was pleased, began to cut her chicken into teeny little squares, moving next to the slices of ham on her plate. She gathered a few squares with her fork and raised it to her mouth. Savoring the lingering spices, she chewed slowly and contently. Until her face, as though drawn by an unseen caress, drifted upwards.

Time, seemingly stilled as she met his gaze. The dark and tumultuous chaos of his conflicting thoughts, so apparent in the turbulence of his gaze, ensnared her focus; such intensity in those blue/violet depths—she suddenly lowered her gaze, feeling as though she might cry. It struck her always a surprise when she realized just how much, he truly loved her. He had said it of course and she knew he meant it but his eyes, so often the window to his soul, could at times reflect nothing more than a controlled amount of feelings. Shadings of his true sentiments, they reflected but a portion of what he felt.

It wasn't till his eyes burned a fervent amber glow, that she became aware of the intensity of his love, the depths of his passion, so fierce and unyielding. They crushed her beneath their weight. Drowning her senses beneath a tide of feelings and emotions, she knew all to well.

Such ardor . . . . .

It clouded her mind. Forcing her to act on instinct and a deep–rooted love, that neither death nor hate had been strong enough to rip away from her dying grasp. And so, it was at this time, during such moments, filled with such a need and desperation that she let herself go. Responding to him with abandon, she answered his hunger with her own, drowning in his all consuming love.

His touch alone, seemed to strip her bare. Filling her with such longing for his soul—for completeness, to care what that reduced her to. She panted and writhed beneath him as much and as often as she schemed to lure him to her side, to temp the limits of his control and break him with her touch.

He'd made her greedy, starved for his kisses and feverishly desirous. He made her ache, for his heat, his flesh, the ghostly trace of his hands or the lingering caress of his lips—her thoughts suddenly collapsed in on themselves and Kaoru exhaled a shaky breath, moistening her lips, she chanced a look at him again.

And was thrown off guard by the smile that tugged his lips, the glint that filled his gaze—her eyes suddenly narrowed, understanding what he thought. She had half a mind to lean over the table and physically removed that grin off his face, _ahou!_

His grin broadened but then he couldn't help it. He could feel her thoughts, see the emotions playing across her face and the telltale signs of her rising blush. It delighted him and he couldn't help but smile, even as blue fire worked it's way into her dark orbs. He smiled. Lowering his gaze, he began to eat. Quite content now with both food and company, he felt equally enticed and to think, the evening had all but just begun.

His smirk grew larger.

And though quite annoyed, Kaoru decided to stop looking at him altogether. It was Christmas Eve and she wasn't going to get mad, especially not over something as small as his idiocy, _baka. _Turning her focus back to the food on her plate, she continued eating, ignoring the fact that he was even there.

Consequently, the rest of the meal swept through in silence. And though she'd stolen glances of him all through out, he'd pretended not to feel her gaze. Sitting there quietly, with a mask of gentleness firmly in place, he remained quiet, hoping that this calm warm silence, had been enough to appease the annoyance she'd felt earlier. Chancing a quick glance, he peeked at her beneath hooded lids.

She smiled at his antics and served his dessert. Ignoring the blossoming smile on his lips, she handed him his plate, hands slightly brushing as he took it. She blushed prettily and said. "I know you don't like sweets as much as I do," but you'll like this, she thought, half-glancing at his sitting form. "It's apple pie with vanilla ice cream." She said, licking the spoon she'd served him with. "I made the pie and I would have made the ice cream too but I didn't think it would taste as good." She confided, taking her seat across from him once again, she smiled impishly at him when she noticed his gaze lingering on her dessert. A dessert at least twice the size of his. He smiled and discreetly, continued to watch her.

The first spoonful was always the most heavenly and she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of the pie and the coolness of the ice cream as it melted in her mouth. There was just something about dessert and she had such an addiction to sugar already, that it didn't help matters much. Opening her eyes, she thought she caught a lustful look on his face though when she blinked, the look was gone and she was left to wonder, if she'd really seen it at all.

The fall of black silk over a rounded shoulder made her pause, if at all briefly before she carelessly tossed it back and dug back in. Savoring a spoonful, she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of the pie and the coolness of the ice cream as it melted in her mouth. It was, for lack of a better word, heavenly. So utterly delicious—

Kenshin's head bowed low. And he exhaled an unsteady breath, calming the uproar that'd begun to stir, he sat there quietly trying to sway his body away from that _one_ intend, ignoring the almost painful throbbing of his pulse. He released a calming breath and schooling his features so that he at least looked un-phased, took more of an effort than it really ought to have been even so, it wasn't till his mask was firmly back in place that he dared enough to begin and eat. Slowly and while directly avoiding her gaze, he tried to finish his dessert. Unable to keep his gaze from drifting though, it settled on her mouth and the look of utter bliss that lit her face. Bite after bite and bit by bit, his thoughts like his eyes, paid little heed to him. Barely aware as he himself cut forkfuls of food and brought them to his mouth. His attention, so busily occupied, returned only when her fork clinked against her plate. Brining halt to wandering thoughts, he realized she'd finished and her eyes like her attention, focused on him and his half-touched dessert.

Eyes intent on his fork, they followed its every movement. Quietly observing, as he cut into the pie and brought it to his mouth.

All this, he was aware of and though her gaze, held nothing more than mild ease, he couldn't help the feelings that surged at been the sole focus of her attention. To sweep everything off the table and ravish her completely was something he could only just refrain from doing and hardly able to fight the feelings off, he once again, closed his eyes, calling himself an idiot for even allowing the thought. He sighed under his breath, willing the accompanying images to leave his head.

Kaoru, oblivious to his distress, stole away a quick peek at the clock. Though she waited patiently for him to finish, she still hoped he hurried. She wanted to clear the table and move in to the living room next.

True it was still early, only just turning seven but still she wanted them to be able to watch the movie, dance to a few holiday songs and have their cider before they settled in front of the tree, waiting till it rang midnight before opening their gifts. She'd carefully mapped out their evening, going over each and every single detail, she'd hoped to make this his favorite holiday. If only he would finish, Kaoru exhaled an exasperated breath, eyes intent on the fork again, she willed him to hurry already.

· · · · ·

Eleven fifty-nine was a long time in coming and she'd been impatient for it to come but that had been _before_ he'd started kissing her. Now, more or less, she was seemingly unaware of time as a concept. Turning her face slightly left, she exposed more of her neck to his hungry mouth, arching against him, her fingers threaded through his hair, relishing the feeling of his mouth trailing opened mouth kisses down her throat. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his hands as they slid under her dress to smooth over her legs.

He pulled back suddenly, surprised. "You're wearing garters."

She nodded brining his head back down for another kiss; her tongue plundered his mouth, making him groan as her hands roamed over his neck and back.

Again though, he broke the kiss. Raising his head, he thought he'd heard a beeping somewhere around them and so, he wondered. "Are you still cooking something?"

Kaoru listened closely, now hearing the beeping as well. "I think that's my cell." She said, pushing against his chest.

Kenshin groaned and with a defeated sigh, rolled off her. He'd been waiting since dinner to get to this part and now that they were well on their way, they'd been interrupted. Was there no justice, he thought. Distractedly watching as she left his side; walked over to the couch and picked up her cell phone before disappearing into the bedroom.

He didn't like been interrupted and he liked it even less when she left the room to answer her phone. Eyes suddenly narrowing, he felt his anger stir. Though he stayed as he was—on his back and a couple of feet away from the Christmas tree, he still felt as though he should get up, make sure it was Tae or her father on the line and not someone else.

Knowing he was been entirely too suspicious however, he decided against it, remaining utterly still instead, he strained to hear what she was saying. He knew he shouldn't pry and usually he never would but he was suddenly so very curious, wondering if she'd told her father about them yet. He thought, it'd been a bit over a month since they'd argued over it last and he had hoped she'd changed her stand on the subject since. Though why, he still wasn't entirely sure.

Closing his eyes, he concentrated, working to make everything but the sound of her voice fade from his surroundings. Until slowly and with a calculated focus, he'd never quite understood, heard, slight whispers. Snippets, if at that, of her conversation, not nearly enough to form a conclusive answer. But enough for him to become wary. Frowning now, he thought, he should've just gotten up. At least then he'd have known who it was.

Kaoru, aware of how he was, stepped out of the bedroom a minute later, smiling largely at the frustrated look on his face. "It was my dad wishing me a merry Christmas." She explained. Taking her seat back on the floor, she waited a moment while he sat up before she bent over and reached for a present. It was then while distracted that he slid closer. Brining a smile to her face, she said. "Here," And handed him a small golden package with an elaborate red bow fastened to the front.

Kenshin, who silently groaned at the sight of the present. Wondered why in the world, she couldn't be more single-minded? For Kami's sakes, he'd almost had her dress off. Inwardly sighing, he took the offered present, carefully removing the wrapping. Until finally, after pulling it free of the many tissues enfolding it. His eyes fell on the actual gift; a dark mahogany woodened box. Which if he had to guess, he'd say was about three by five in length and width though perhaps slightly bigger, he really couldn't say off hand. Even on closer inspection, he couldn't quite make out its dimensions. What he could make out however was the time spent on the small item. It was small and smooth, so perfectly angled; his fingers could trace over every plane and edge without flaw, as though the angles themselves had fused into one surface.

Curious now, as to what lay inside, he opened the box. And found almost at once, that he couldn't breath. His gaze, immediately captured, could see nothing but the dark picture on the underside of the cover, depicting so clearly, the shadows of a man and a woman. Standing so close, they almost seemed to kiss beneath the waning moon, on a too starry night that suddenly seemed _so achingly familiar_—he ceased touching the jeweled indents, unaware even that he'd been tracing the patterned sky until that moment, when for an instant, thought he remembered—

"Moonlight shadows," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "I thought it only fitting."

The comment, as it had been intended to do, caught his attention and he looked at her sharply, not quite sure as to what she meant. His eyes narrowed further, suddenly guarded. She knew he was suspicious but decidedly ignored it, taking the box from his hands, she began to wind it. Surprising a look of wonder on his face, as he all but whispered. "A music box." With such a strange inflection in his tone, she thought she'd burst with the sentiment.

Handing it back to him, she said only, "I had it especially made." Before the melody began to fill the room. And though open to interpretation, she felt it expressed how she often felt. Listening to it, even now while only the instruments played, she could still feel their intent, the sadness in every chord as the words slowly drifted back into her mind. Speaking to her of love and life and loss so great . . .

A strange melody began to drift, filling up the room with a feeling so strong—

Longing filled his heart, the feeling of it so great, he set the box aside and hugged her. Whispering, "Thank you," against her ear, before he slowly pulled back. Carefully, avoiding her gaze as he gently closed the lid, stopping the haunting melody from completely ruling his emotions. He sat there a moment. Helplessly aware of this growing weakness, this vulnerability, she seemed to impose. Sinking with blind eyes—he felt her gaze, piercingly, searching his face and he knew, just knew as surely as the sun rises, that she sensed it.

Feeling the sudden need to change the subject, to steal her focus, he pulled out a present from under the tree and handed it to her. Hoping in someway, that it served its purpose, drawing her attention away. He watched her open the gift, tearing the paper into a whirl of slivers and lace. Until finally, the sullen mood shattered with her laughter and she turned dancing eyes towards him once again.

"You wouldn't be giving me this if you knew what I could do." She said, letting a sultry smile curve her lips. She pushed back, several ribbons of cobalt, crimson, gold and black, before deftly pulling out a long ebony cord from within the box. Testing it's weight, she uncrossed her legs and stood higher on her knees, saying, "Watch" as she pointed at a candle stick several feet away before rotating her right arm and taking hold of the cord by the base. She breathed out slowly. Concentrating her focus on that one single little blaze before she suddenly flicked her wrist, blowing out the flame with one lighting fast movement that left the candle itself, untouched.

Amazed, she said, "I can't believe I can still do that." And turned towards him again. Watching his left brow rise, she grinned and said, "just an old trick." Before glancing back down at the ebony cord. "Though I haven't used one of these in," She paused, thinking. "A _long time, _you could say." Standing, with the whip safely coiled around her hand, she said. "Come on." And offered him her other. "Let's go to bed."

Though still, somewhat distracted, his mouth opened and was about to mention the other gifts still beneath the tree when suddenly he remembered and shut it close. Taking a handful of ribbons instead, he put them in his pocket before taking hold of her small hand and standing. Alongside her, he straightened and stretched, watching her eye him curiously until finally–

"What are you going to do with those?"

Genuinely curious, he knew she didn't know, though it didn't keep him from smiling as he pulled her close. He whispered only, "you'll see," before turning and leading her along towards the privacy of his room, and where without the aid of even one word, proceeded to show her, just what he had meant.

· · · · ·

She awoke hours later, just after dawn and as the heat in the room settled into a comfortable type of warmth that easily enough, tempted her back to sleep. Though she refused to let it, blinking several times and while stifling a yawn. She kept herself from stretching, aware that any major movements would wake her other half, whom looking at seemed quite content as well as deep asleep. And though Christmas morning, usually had her up and about, ripping the wrappings off her presents, _now_, she seemed resigned to stay in bed. Actually preferring the latter, she imagined, she really was too tired in any case, her bones, for the most part, still felt as though they'd melted away, leaving her a poor, overly sated woman who just couldn't seem to stop grinning.

Unconsciously, her face turned in, rubbing softly against his side, she thought only of the heat emanating from his body and as a rogue palm slid over his chest, became suddenly aware of the unconscious movement and lifted her head off his arm. But at seeing his eyes still closed, sighed and again, without really thinking, began to brush small patterns over his skin.

Her hand, slowly trailing over the taut planes of his chest continued even lower, gliding gently over the well defined muscles of his abdomen when she thought she felt him move and her eyes flickered back to his face. Waiting to see if his eyes fluttered open, she kept her hand completely off him, counting the seconds until a full minute passed. And she was reassured that they had not. Believing it a trick of her imaginings, she went back to her previous musings, skimming over the jut of his hips, as her caress trailed over his inner thigh briefly touching over sensitive skin her hand was caught in a vice like grip. Nearly scarring her half to death, her eyes flew to his face. "Don't you sleep?" He asked, unruffled by his own lack of slumber. He watched a grin split her face.

"Enough to let you rest, ne?"

But it was the audacity with which she said it that made him laugh, his voice, still rough from sleep, made his laughter sound all the more dark and smoky, exciting her to no end as he must have known by the sudden goose-bumps apparent on her arms.

Smiling, he pulled her higher up along his body until she sat comfortably astride him, supporting her weight with her hands on his chest. He ran a hand over her face, stroking her brow and cheeks before running his thumb over the fleshy part of her bottom lip. _So utterly, soft_—she kissed the lingering digit, silently asking for more than a caress, she let her gaze flicker down to his lips before all together drifting close in a way that was _so _familiar, so dear to his heart—he kissed her without warning. Swallowing her gasp of surprise as he shifted her even closer, deepening the kiss.

He groaned as she responded. Pressing and touching, she clung to his body . . . Unable to discern, why with such warmth, she shuddered still. Why, at this moment, filled with so much love and so utterly perfect, did she feel like her heart would shatter. Why!

"Koishii?"

He had broken the kiss and pulled back to see why she suddenly trembled. But she'd quickly hidden her face, tucked safely against his throat, she only shook her head, clinging tighter to his neck until he realized she was crying and pulled her away from him.

"Kaoru?"

No, she thought, _don't go, please, please_, she thought.

"Koishii, what's wrong?"

But, she only shook her head, unwilling to let him go. "No." she finally said, grasping him by the neck again, as she pulled herself towards him, nuzzling against his throat, she murmured incoherently making him worry even more.

"Kaoru?"

It was the worry in his voice that broke her resolve, giving her no other option but than to comply, to tell him. "I-," she began. Only to have her voice waver, forcing her to pause as she tried to get her emotions back under control. Blinking past a stream of stubborn tears, she tried again. "Nothing's wrongs." Not exactly, she thought. Unable to pinpoint the reasons for her previous, silent sobs, she shook her head, frustrated beyond measure. She took a deep long breath, venturing carefully around her thoughts. "It's just," something akin to fear, gripped her heart. "Will you really love me always?"

The softly spoken question, surprised him as much as it suddenly angered him. "Kaoru," he said coolly. His tone, doing very little to mask, the fury he suddenly felt. "I do love you," he affirmed, forcibly drawing her away. He robbed her the chance to turn away, as he brusquely tilted her chin up, intent on making her meet his gaze until he saw the hurt in her expression. The pain he so often felt, she harbored, so clear in her gaze now, melted the icy barriers protecting his heart.

"Kaoru," his voice, now low and soothing, coaxed her gaze to rise. "I do love you," he confessed, running his thumbs over her tear stained face. "I will always, love you." Today. tomorrow and every day after. He kissed every inch of her face, "Always," he vowed. _Always._

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MY GOSH! Has it been forever or what, since you saw last 'yours truly' skulking around these parts, posting and writing on this wonderfully site. Well, as you can surely see, I'm back, much too my own dismay, because I have so much homework I can hardly keep up with it. But then this story has been on hold for so long; I just couldn't bear it any longer. I had to come back. I have to finish. I won't go into detail as to when I finished writing this (silently, afraid of readers) But I will tell you that today, YES, T-O-D-A-Y, is the day I finally finished editing this chapter. Finally, YES! (Jumps for joy) I know, believe me, no one is happier to see this chapter finally go more than me. I feel like I've been editing forever. I mean 38 pgs, come on.

Anyhow, let's forget all about my idiosyncrasies and the fact that I can't seem to shake off my O.C.D. when it comes to editing. Let's get back to the story, shall we.

Like the previous chapter, there is a lot of symbolism. A lot of what is said and thought, not only express how they feel, but as many of you (whom love to analyze the story like I do) can see, there is a lot of foreshadowing as well. (Little something to not for those of you who have read this chapter before. the song had to be removed; in accordance with the new policy. But if you go down to the website, you'll notice the chapter hasn't changed at all.

· · · · ·

Life and love, has for them phased into something, quite surreal. This rose-colored world, she once created simply to keep up pretense, has engulfed them both. Soothing, her hate to a level of almost none existence. While for him, the love is all consuming. A dangerous, predicament for them. Because despite all their happiness, their is an underlining fear. A sort of shadow, that looms over their happiness. Which Kaoru seems to sense but instead of trying to fix it, chooses to ignore. Afraid that if she even dares to recognize it, _IT_ will snatch it all away.

And so she pretends.

Kaoru thinks of nothing but Kenshin, and how to make the best of their time together. Always, hedging away from things that might upset her. Like before, she edges away from particular memories, finding it best to simply remain in the dark. She smiles and she laughs.

She does truly adore him with all her heart.

And he knows this, knows without a doubt that her love for him, is even more than he could ever hope to imagine. It's one of the many reasons; it's so precious to him. And though 'the words' have yet to be spoken out loud from her end, he knows she loves him. And so he is willing, not just to wait but to do everything within his grasp to keep her smiling. Indulging her every whim, he is a pander to her every fancy, even if he has yet to realize it. He has allowed her to conquer him.

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Small Notes: Christmas is approaching . . . . .

And with it comes, holiday cheer. Which in this case, Kaoru has made herself spread into every corner of his life. From redecorating his home, to shopping, cooking, fixing, dressing, doing everything she can to make this the best holiday ever, not just because its her favorite, but just in case it becomes their only.

Shopping, stores and children. He has never been faced with so much, in such little time. Always alone, he has never even celebrated a birthday. But the shock of so much is quickly passing. Delighted instead, he watches her. Simply adoring her from far until something in him calls out, and he is forced to stand. Like after they bought the tree. Something about watching her, so intent on that damn tree made him suddenly rise. But the feeling, the reason he was spurred into movement, is unknown. Though Kaoru suspects she knows, she never gets to finish her conclusion. Something about him being Battousai, it distracts her. Sometimes a little too easily. All he has to is speak her name, for her to loose her previous train of thought.

Which hasn't gone unnoticed.

The ability to make her melt in his arms, is something he rather enjoys, and because of it, exploits her weakness. Constantly. Not so much because he likes it (which he does) but because he has always hoped to make her fall in love with him as much as he loves her. And so, the mere thought of it feels him with static. Much the same way, the mention of children, does. Because children with her, seems to constantly filter into his thoughts.

Kogo, the word literally translates to, Empress. A title, she has not used for many centuries, and yet at certain moments, when she turns, she can see herself as she had been. As it all had been, once upon a time. This lifetime, for reasons yet unforeseen, stands out high above all the others. Often, guiding her reactions, she sometimes acts a little too like before but then, she thinks, or at least likes to believe, that it is all simply a coincidence. That she is not that cruel person anymore, she refuses to believes it. Even if he has noticed, that certain gleam in her eyes, he has not made her aware of it.

Midnight love, and Moonlight Shadows. (Fitting, don't you think?)

The scene is pulled out from a particular scene of DTBB, (Dark Times: Blood Bonds—the first fic in the series as well as the beginning of their lives together.) it represents a memory. For her at least, of something that occurred between them, a long, long, time ago. For him however, it represents something he cannot comprehend, but that he is aware she knows something of. Though before he can even begin to fathom what that could be—something about the melody in that music box, stops him. Filling him with a longing, he almost feels, is not his own. Such a haunting tune, he suddenly has to stop it, to keep it away. He cannot let her rule him, not in the way her song seems to want to make him. Rendering him weak and vulnerable, feelings which he is neither willing nor able to admit feels as of yet. And so because of it, shuts the lid close. Ceasing the torrent of emotions. He decided instead, to distract her, giving her a gag gift he never would have guessed she knew how to use. Surprise, surprise.

She stirred his interest. (Amongst other things) Which he made pretty clear to her, he liked. Showing her appreciating and love in the only way he really knows, through physical interaction. He conquered her heart. (Which oddly enough, is reminiscent to that of a previous live, unfortunately, he does not remember.)

Hours later, she awakes. Blissfully happy in her sated state, she is unaware of her constant habit, touching him unconsciously. She lets her caress linger a little too long and wakes him. Though startled at first by his vice like grip, she immediately jumps on the chance for an encore performance of the previous night. Instigating, a response, she touched her lips to his thumb, before all together letting her gaze shutter close. She knew full well, he could not resist the silent plea.

And yet, she gasped, when he kissed her. Though not so much because of it, but rather because of how he chose to do it. The way he touched her suddenly, seemed much too familiar, too loving and so utterly perfect, she became frightened. He looked just like before, felt the same as before and so, who was to say _he _was not the same as before.

He left her once, did he not?

The mere thought, wrenched silent sobs from her being. And though she tried to hide them, being as close as she was to his body, she found she could not. And so, tiny drops of moisture escaped their confines. Wetting the side of his throat until he realized this and pulled her from where she hid.

The expression, she held then, he had seen before. In Kyoto, in fact, shortly after they'd just arrived and he'd caught her out in the yard. He had not known what she'd been thinking then and neither did he know now, but as he looked at her, his features softened. And after all his asking, he finally got an answer. Though he had hated that she doubted him, he had been quick to reassure her, soothing her worries. He promised her his love, not just now, but forever, like in her movies, he pledged his undying love. Which really, is all her broken heart, was looking to hear.

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I hope these _Small Notes_ help you guys understand the story a little better. Still if you have any other questions, please feel free to email me. I promise, I will respond. I've begged for Tuesdays and Thursday off from work, so be assured, you will get a response on either one of those days. Thanks for reading.


	26. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments 0o you may contact me at or through the website.

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Chapter Twenty-Five

It was nearly midnight. In a room all but obscured by too much splendor: with grand windows and marble floors, and everything decorated in dark rich tones, past streamers and glitter strewn over the tables and floor—when he finally admitted, _he had known. _Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had known _and still _. . . He was angry.

Now, as people gathered, slowly, filling up the dance floor—he retreated, falling further back into the shadows cast by the heavy velvet drapes that tumbled off the sills like vast cobalt waterfalls. As they danced _nearly _around him, curiously glancing at the way his eyes seemed to shift between oddly colored shades—he glared at them with such venom they seemed to shudder beneath his gaze. And quickly moved away. While he watched them, in cold glittering hatred, the expression on his face seemed to twist with his resentment and the harsh expression settling there after, did very little to hide the worst of a rapidly rising temper . . .

The constant babble around him only worsened his demeanor. Provoking him so easily—he took a breath, stepping further into the back, into the dark, until his back lay flush against the wall. And that bout of anger he'd been so keen of not letting go, finally sprouted all about him.

His day though it'd started of well enough had slowly and thoroughly deteriorated, worsening with the passing of every hour until now—he hadn't minded working detail on New Year's eve, he'd always had to before but for once, he'd thought things might pan out just a bit differently. But _no_—it didn't matter that he'd been sure of how she felt or that she'd end coming to this because she'd already said. He should have known. He shouldn't have been so fucking involved in this project or so _fucking trusting_. And now, as his nostrils flared and anger coiled around his gut, he took another breath, trying to hold on to some semblance of control. But he just, he couldn't–

He couldn't understand why she'd so suddenly decided she'd rather stay at home, especially after asking him to bring her should her father not come. He just—he didn't understand and it bothered him, more than just a bit that she wasn't here at all. That she'd waited till the very last second to tell him—had upset him but _more than that_, it was the fact that she hadn't even been upset, that she'd just decided she'd simply wouldn't come after all—that had really made him angry.

And now as his heart rate began to escalate, all he could do was close his eyes, knowing it couldn't be helped it any more than he could control the color of his eyes . . . He was just . . . so fucking frustrated, he couldn't help but think she'd stayed at home to meet with someone else. Though just the thought of it, just the mere idea of her and someone else, bouncing around on his bed . . . It was enough to make him want to pull out his gun and shoot off someone's genitals.

"Himura-san?"

"What?" His eyes had opened and narrowed, conscious of several peoples' gaze. "What," he barked, not caring how he sounded. As he glared at them, making them turn around again. He asked him, "What?" Impatient suddenly to get away, to be alone.

"Ku- Kurizuma wanted to see you."

"Well I'm busy." As he moved away from the wall, leaving the stuttering youth behind, he had no doubt he'd run back to Kurizuma. Fucking people, they always needed something. If it wasn't for one thing or another—Ghh, he hated them. As his anger tittered and pace hastened, he pushed past several people on his way to the terrace, careless to the fact that he might knock someone over in his haste. He needed air and he needed it now. Kami only knew; if they had a problem they could try and say something to him about it, he didn't really care. He was on edge today and a fight wouldn't be all that unwelcome.

As he opened the doors to the balcony, feeling the cool air wash over him, he gave a grateful sigh at finding the terrace as empty as he'd thought. As he stood there, just under the shelter of the doorway, starring out into the gloomy sky, he couldn't help but think the day had darkened considerably since that morning; the slight drizzle had turned into pouring rain which he was kind of glad for. Dim weather had always had a way of appeasing the rising anger as well as calming the stirrings from within . . . Like so often before, he closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh, he didn't know why he was having such a problem with this. He shouldn't—but he did. _Because of her_. He sighed once again and opened his tired eyes, focusing on the murky blue sky, which suddenly reminded him so much of her eyes—his thoughts whirled into something dark.

And he was forced to shut his eyes again, trying with all his might, to block the jealous thoughts filling up his mind. As he tried almost desperately to breathe the calm, cooling air the rain had brought, he knew it wouldn't be enough. Nothing, at this moment, could ease away the troublesome thoughts. Just as being here—he admitted—wasn't doing him any good. He tapped his ear piece, frustrated. "Hunter, report to me _now_."

There was no point in continuing to get angry when he didn't even know what was going. He knew that. The problem was that he'd never really trusted people, _all people _including women and the fact that Kaoru was the first woman he'd ever loved only complicated things even more. He loved Kaoru, truly, much more than words could ever possibly express but he even so, he couldn't help but feel like she might try to run off the first chance his back was turned.

He couldn't say when he'd begun to feel that way but he'd already warned her. He wouldn't just let her go, more to the point there wasn't any place she could go where he wouldn't follow and bring her back. She was his and they belonged together. In time, she'd come to realize _just _how much.

A sudden tingling at the back of his neck alerted him of someone's approaching and it wasn't long before a tall, dark haired man found his way to the balcony, coming to stand right at his side. As Kenshin half turned. "I need you to stay up here." His voice cut crisp across the silence, heeding a quick affirming nod. Though as he turned, Hunter seemed to shift a little.

"Will you be gone long?"

"Yes," as he turned the rest of the way, liquid blue glinting off his eyes. He said, "I'm not coming back tonight." Hunter nodded, of course, understanding evident in the small smirk beginning on his face, as he stepped aside, allowing him a clear path to walk on past him. Kenshin inwardly sighed, ignoring the urge to literally wipe the smile off his face. As he walked on past him, briefly glancing at the time instead, he decided, that for tonight at least, he'd simply let it pass and quickened up his stride. Knowing it was almost midnight; he pocketed his ear piece and quickly reached the elevators in under a minute flat.

He was in a hurry to get home. There were things he wanted to say to her, things they needed to discuss but most of all he wanted to make sure she was indeed alone. He was suspicious by nature, _he knew that _but in her case these 'suspicions' escalated into something much, much worse. _Jealousy _is not something he was familiar with and had to admit, had a much harder time in trying to control.

As he glanced at his watch again, beginning to feel the stirrings of irritation at the slowness of the elevator. It suddenly chimed, the doors drew open and he stepped inside, quickly pushing the button down to the garage before he sighed and leaned against a wall, wondering, if perhaps all that time alone, hadn't caused him to become too paranoid.

As the elevator stopped and doors drew open, almost three minutes later however he longer doubted he was right. But rather like, he'd already wasted too much. As he strode across the poorly lit parking structure, wondering if everything would fall apart tonight, he reached the end of the line and quickly got to his car. Unlocking the car and jumping in with the ease of some one practiced. As he jabbed the keys into the ignition, roaring the engine to life, he thought—_this was it_—a moment or two before his tires screeched and he sped out of the garage.

His heart, unusually animated, seemed almost . . . incited, at one point by some unknown presentiment. As he cut across the highway, thoughts, drifting to the image of laughing eyes and tempting lips. He remembered suddenly . . . _that time_, in the park when all she'd done was laugh and danced around the span of his arms, moving close and sauntering off. The way she'd melted against him when he'd finally caught her and kissed her. He glanced at his watch again; no longer mad but rather impatient now. As the little hand moved up a number, moving to indicate ten before the hour, he shifted gears, racing down the street, but with one thought;_ if he hurried now_, _he'd only _just _make it._

· · · · ·

"I'll talk to you later." Kaoru sighed, trying to keep frustration out of her voice. "I know." She nodded. "I love you too." She clicked off her cell and placed it on the coffee table.

"Who were you talking to?"

Kaoru looked up, her mood brightening immediately. As she stood, smiling largely in the direction of his shadow. "My papa," she answered as she walked on towards him, paying little, if any attention to the dimming room. "You're home early," she noted. "I'm glad, now I don't have to wait up." As she gestured towards the couch, where a pillow and a blanket laid abandoned. She watched his gaze flicker to the many candles laid about the room, since earlier when she'd been afraid the lights would go out. "So how was work then?" She asked, as she took a hold of his hand and led him over to the couch.

"Fine," he answered and took his seat.

Kaoru flopped down next to him, catching sight of the frown on his face. "What's wrong?"

He half turned, regarding her a moment before he asked her—"Why did you stay home tonight?" In a voice, neither cold or warm but flat and brisk, at odds with the blankness in his face which she surmised, aught to have helped in someway, hide the anger this suspicion must have caused. Still–

Kaoru smiled. "Is that what's bothering you?" As she turned in her seat, taking both his hands in her, she quickly tried to sooth the mounting anger she saw her careless gesture had provoked. "Kenshin . . . I just–I wanted to be alone when I broke the news to my papa, that's all."

And for a moment as he gazed at her behind a well built wall of carefully constructed indifference: emotionless as he watched her grip his hands, soothingly tying to reach him as she brought his hands up to her lips, for soft tender kisses—he seemed almost unwilling to bend. _Almost_—but as he watched her, un-phased by the small burst of anger—he conceded.

"What happened?"

She sighed and squeezed his hands. "I'll be honest Kenshin." Kaoru looked at him trying her best to smile. "He didn't like what he heard." She bit her lip. "I tried to make him understand. It's just he thinks—" She looked away from him. "He thinks you're not serious about how you feel."

Kenshin's eyes narrowed. He could just imagine what the conversation had been like. "He thinks I'm using you?"

"The words came up." She admitted. His face had closed off and she knew he'd be upset. But he'd asked and there was no reason for her to lie, she'd said she was going to be honest and she was. "I love my papa Kenshin." Gold flitted across his eyes. "And I've always valued what he's had to say." He turned his face away, pulling his hands out of her grasp. "Kenshin—I told him I didn't care what he thought." As she climbed on top of his lap, carefully cupping the sides of his face with her palms. She said, "I just want to be with you." That's all she'd ever wanted. Kami only knew—"to love you." She kissed the sides of his face. "No matter what."

But for a long time, it seemed, he just looked at her. As every bad thought he'd had that day just seemed to drift away into nothingness; his jealousy, the murderous thoughts even that bout of irrational anger he'd experienced early on. All he could do was gaze at her until slowly his hands settled on her hips and he at last found the right train of thought again. "I left angry."

"I know," she admitted.

"Did you mean for me to be?"

"Of course not." She snapped, took a calming breath and smoothed out her face. Her tone much lighter when she spoke again. "I just—I wanted to be alone when I told him." She turned her face away just slightly, enough to avoid his gaze. "I knew it would take me a while to get through to him." But the main reason, the one that remained undisclosed was that she hadn't wanted him to see her cry. Her father was never careless with his words, except for when he was mad and he had. He'd been livid and had said some rather harsh things. Things she knew he hadn't meant. But still—"I'm sorry."

He inwardly sighed and pulled her close again. Noting, just _something _about the way she apologized, the way her bottom lip slightly quivered. He just couldn't stay mad, not with her. As he pressed his thumb and forefinger to her chin, moving her face to meet his gaze, he thought—there was no laughter in her eyes now, no curve to her pout, just dejection, as if ready to be admonished. _But _for what—his gaze remained fixed on her a moment longer, wondering if perhaps—he aught to let it go, wondering would only get him into to trouble. And for whatever reasons, he had the distinct suspicion, she was vindictive. Though he couldn't deny this aspect of her personality didn't intrigue him, for now at least he though he'd simply let it be.

As the corners of his mouth turned up again, she seemingly relaxed, watching him with such eyes . . . he couldn't help but kiss her. It was small and chaste, a mere touch of the lips but the way it suddenly made her smile. It's what made all the difference to him now, what would make him build her castles in clouds if she so desired. As he gazed at her, hands slowly settling on jut of her hips again, he at last, admitted the truth behind these trials—the reasons for his actions.

"Midnight," he said as he glanced at his watch. "Marks the beginning of the New Year." As her arms snaked around him, drawing them even closer still, he said. "I also wanted it to mark our first real anniversary." Kaoru's head tilted in confusion and he sighed. Thinking this was harder than he'd thought. He licked his lips and braved the statement. "You love me and you know I love you." Kaoru nodded slowly feeling her heart bounding the limits of it's home. "So, then . . . _marry me_?"

Just like that, just like all those times before, as her expression and breath both caught, her heart simply faltered and she slumped into his arm, fainted.

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΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅

In the utter darkness, surrounded by blackness so vast and encompassing, it almost overwhelmed her. A strange, cold breeze seemed to sweep around her, stirring a sense of familiarity. As hushed whispers rose, deep from within the breeze, warning and crooning softly against her ear, making her shiver in response; as a strange corner of her soul instinctively recognized this darkness, here, where it had once dared to live—her haven—her abyss.

"The shadow's again?"

Kaoru turned, quickly trying to see beyond the stretching darkness all around her, as her skin and soul vibrated in response to his presence, she tried almost desperately to discern him from the shadows. She knew he was out there, she could feel him. The thought was confirmed when she caught a flash of gold just beyond her reach.

"Are you trying to hide?"

When he laughed, suddenly close, his warm breath burned hot against her face making her turn and reach for something that wasn't there. As he laughed and continued to move away, hidden by the shadows, he knew she couldn't see. He whispered, "Don't you know yet?"

As she turned, blindly trying to reach him, he laughed and suddenly grabbed her hands. "Koishii." His touch was fleeting and comforting. Manipulative in the way, she'd long come to need and crave.

"You can't hide from me."

΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅ ΅

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"Koishii?"

"Can you hear me?"

"Koishii_, please_."

Still she was as motionless as the doll once created for his destruction. There, on the bed they'd shared so many times, propped against his pillows and supported by his arms. As the first stirrings of desperation began to creep into a small consciousness part of his mind—"Kaoru . . ." He felt it, slowly moving to the surface, uncoiling like some great snake.

"Koishii . . ."

He was lost. And the echoes of his voice were almost too far gone but she heard him. The constant rasp of his voice, finally did manage to pull her from the darkness which had consumed her. As she slowly opened her eyes, finding his face mere inches from her own, she smiled, trying to dispel the concerns she saw etched over his still beautiful face. Though she began to tremble, overcome by the strong sense of confusion, she'd only ever once experienced, she said. "You asked me, right? It wasn't just me hearing things."

The corners of his mouth turned up then just slightly but enough. "I asked." He said, as he pulled her face close to him again. "Do you accept?"

Koishii . . . You can't hide from me . . . It was a whisper, like things you think you hear the breeze whisper in your ear but they echoed, ringing much too loud and much too true for her like. As her eyes closed, overwhelmed by the hot stinging sensation just behind her lids. She said, "I do." Accepting his proposal, "I will."

Relieved he leaned into her again, grazing her lips with barely there kisses that soon coaxed her to respond. As he kissed her, gently, lightly . . . Kaoru let herself be drowned.

Her thoughts spun and whirled in terrible disarray, crashing from one end right down to the other, making it so hard to understand . . . _Why _. . . the abyss, the shadows, _him_. Why was _he_ even there? The tightening in her heart was beginning again; she could feel it beginning to tear. Right at the seams, were the pain would most likely kill her. It hurt. And she just couldn't help it then tears sprang to her eyes. She'd known all along that it was inevitable, wherever there was a beginning, there had to be an end. But . . . she'd come to love him so much.

Kenshin broke the kiss suddenly and pulled back. "What's wrong?"

Kaoru kept her eyes closed, taking shallow breaths. "I'm just happy."

"You cry because you're happy?"

"I'm happy." She assured and opened her eyes. "But I cry." Her voice wavered. "Because of you." Her whisper, soft and sad, let him see the truth behind her words. "Because of how you make me feel."

Confusion crossed his face and she knew he didn't understand but that was for the best. She raised a trembling hand to his face, gently caressing his cheek. "Wwh–when." She paused and cleared her throat. "When do you wish to marry?"

"Soon," his eyes fluttered closed in an array of dark lashes as he leaned into her hand. He thought he'd like to marry her soon. He harbored the fear of her leaving, so for him the sooner the better. As his eyes opened and locked with hers. Ensnared by features he'd so come to adore: eyes, darker than the bottom of the sea; skin so soft it rivaled the finest silk; the pale pink of her pout and the richness of her hair—it all made him aware of just how dear she was to him. Taking all that into account, he reconsidered and thought, maybe she'd want more time. Sighing he offered her the choice, "We can wait for your father to come to Tokyo . . . if you want?"

Kaoru shook her head. "I don't." Her hand caressed his jaw. "I don't need a big wedding or to wait on anyone at all, I need is the priest and you or whoever we may need to be make it legal."

He smiled, inwardly glad at her response. He'd have tried to change her mind, had she said anything else. "I know someone." He said, as he took hold of her hand. "He can marry us tomorrow."

Kaoru nodded. "That's perfect." She would be able to be his wife before—she let the thought fade. The binds where all still very well in place, they'd only torn a bit tonight. And as long as he sprung no more surprises, she could endure. The pain was only a mild discomfort now and though her heart ached, she new the pain would be swept away the moment the color of his eyes had changed. Decidely, it was in her best interest to keep him close now. To keep the pain away, she'd have to make sure his eyes burned a deep molten gold every time he saw her. From now on . . .

Kaoru's gaze refocused, as she extended her arms to him. He smiled and sank into them without a second thought. So contend at her response, she couldn't help but hug him close, breathing in the soft scent of his hair as she began to undo the tie of his hair. Her fingers threaded into the softness of it, playing with the crimson locks she'd always loved so much. As he shifted however, her brow creased. Usually she felt comforted by the heaviness of his body, the weight of him pressing her to the bed but for one reason or another, that seemed absent today . . .

"Kenshin?"

"Aa." He answered, making himself comfortable against the hollow of her throat.

"Can you kiss me?" She kept her hands in his hair even as he lifted his head off her chest. His eyes, whirling with feelings she _couldn't _just name—but _knew_, deep in heart. If he could just make the world fade from view, she'd somehow find herself again. In his eyes, his touch . . . "Please," she pleaded. "Touch me," and as his eyes darkened. "Love me," she begged, watching as tiny flecks of gold appeared in the dark depths of his eyes—"Make the world fall away. I need—" his mouth covered hers then, kissing her passionately and possessively, urgent in the need to comply with her request. As he kissed her and touched her, stoking the fires of her desire . . . Until they drowned, both, in warmth and joy, a delight so great, it shattered her resolve.

· · · · ·

Kaoru sighed, a little frustrated as she smoothed her hands down over her dress again. Wondering why, for the tenth time that day, did she ever decided to wear this in the first place. It was nice but—was it too simple? As she looked at her reflection, done in a long sleeved pale pink turtleneck dress, just inches above the knees. She wondered if the white Prada boots had been a bit too much. She looked nice, it's not that she didn't but . . . maybe she should have worn something else instead, something black perhaps like Kenshin . . . _Kenshin . . . _Kaoru smoothed down her hair again. Her heart was unusually wild in her chest and she was having problems just taking in a breath—Kami only knew—she was just a moment a way from fainting.

"Kaoru."

She raised her head and smiled a bit nervously. "I – is he ready?"

Kenshin nodded returning the smile though without any of the nervousness she felt. As he extended his hand to her, Kaoru sighed, anxiously wiping the sweat off her palms before she grasped his hand and slowly, side by side, made their way into the large hall. Though with every step, it seemed her breath grew increasingly smaller.

"Koishii?" He had turned, worried she really might faint.

"I'm just nervous." She assured leaning her weight on him as he nodded and wrapped an arm around her waist, helping her as they walked the rest of the way. It was the first day of the New Year and all offices were closed but this man owed Kenshin a favor. A big favor, he would now repay.

As they stood outside a large set of woodened double doors, Kenshin took the time to take a last look at her. This was the end of their individual lives, as they both knew; they'd be together from now. Just like Kyoto all over again, she'd be at home, waiting for him to return and he swore, on everything he loved now, he'd never ever be late. No matter what, her happiness came first and foremost; everything else, he thought, could simply wait . . .

He thought, something of his thoughts must have shown then because her eyes seemed to clear and brighten as she smiled him, he released her waist. "Are you ready?" Kaoru nodded and held his hand, gripping it tight as he smiled and opened the doors.

The ceremony was a matter of fifteen minutes, less time than the actual drive from Shibuya to Shinagawa. The process was now over and done with, and she once again felt able to breath. Still processing the fact that they'd been married, even as she held their marriage certificate in her hands—it was hard for her to assimilate. It was over.

As she smoothed her hand over the small piece of paper, her eyes intent on their written names. She silently mouthed, Himura Kaoru. Saying out loud caused her heart to stutter. Thinking it caused it to contract. So either way, she still cried. She'd cried during the ceremony, after first seeing their wedding bands and then again when they'd been declared husband and wife.

He'd been so sure, she thought, knowing he could get her to marry him. Though how could he not, she did love him, _so very much _it caused her physical pain sometimes. And yet, knowing what she knew, she still wouldn't give it up. She couldn't. He belong to her in way, she couldn't ever possibly describe; trying would only label him _a half_, a part of a whole from which he'd been torn and flung, separated by that which made the skies and stars. Forever bound and forever loved. He was hers. Like she was his . . ._Himura Kaoru,_ she was his wife now, in the eyes of the law, she was _Himura . . . Kaoru . . ._

"Koishii?" 

She looked up, smiling beyond a childish stream of tears. "Are you ready?" She asked.

He nodded, opened the car door and let himself in. "Have you been sitting here crying?"

"Not _the whole time_, no."

He shook his head, as he tried very hard not to smile. He started up the car and slowly backed out of the lot. Amused, despite himself, though he watched her out of the side of his eye.

He'd spent only ten minutes talking to Sakumura after the wedding but only because he hadn't thought that was long enough for her to start crying, again. Obviously he'd been wrong, as he looked at his passenger, still caressing the words on the paper. He felt he would have smiled if not for the news he was about to voice. "I have to start work tomorrow." He said, carefully watching Kaoru as she turned her attention back towards him. "I hope you don't mind, postponing the honeymoon just till Friday."

Kaoru shook her head, smiling. "I don't mind."

He slightly nodded and turned back to the road. Kaoru though, couldn't help look at him a moment longer before her attention went back to her paper. Thinking, she would have this framed tomorrow, as her hand smoothed over the paper once more her attention drifted over to their rings. He wore the ring she'd given him along with the wedding band, both on his left hand while she wore the one ring, the symbol of his love. Kaoru sighed, happily twirling the ring. She wasn't nervous anymore so now that she thought about it she realized they hadn't even had breakfast yet. "Kenshin . . . I'm hungry."

He chuckled, not surprised at all. "We'll stop off and eat before heading home ok."

Kaoru nodded and sat back, eyes fixed on the moving scenery as he drove, a bit slower then usual, she noted. As they turned the corner, her eyes brightened considerably, spotting the House of Pasta as he pulled up almost just in front of it. Her door opened, impatiently waiting for him to set the brake before she stepped out onto the sidewalk. She was curious; she hadn't known they were going to be open today of all days. But as she walked closer to the window, leaning over the sign they'd posted, her lips moved slightly as they read over their holiday hours. Which read; _Open till one_, in a nice dark blue ink. As she glanced at her watch seeing it only read eleven thirty. She thought, "We have plenty of time, then."

As she turned to call him, he came to stand at her side, watching her with such an odd expression. He momentarily stunned her. "Let's just eat here, ok." He nodded and she took his hand. Entering together, as the doors lightly chimed, when they walked in.

Kaoru waved, "Maekawa-san!"

A burly man in his late forties turned, almost immediately at the sound of her voice. "Kaoru-chan, I was wondering where you were?" His eyes crinkled when he smiled at her. Almost casually his eyes drifted to her companion and their joined hands. "Did you come to pick up?" He asked, avoiding her companion's eyes.

She shook her head. "We'll be eating in."

The older man nodded and led them to a table, patiently waiting till they were both seated before he pulled out a small pad from his apron's pocket and asked them. "What will you have?"

Kenshin frowned, for a moment, confused. He didn't see a menu anywhere around so how was it they were supposed to order? "We'll have two number seventeen's, a number four and a number two." Kaoru paused. "And to drink we'll just have plain tea."

Kenshin eyed her strangely and waited till Maekawa moved away before he began to speak—though before he had his chance, Kaoru cut him off. "We've lived in this area a long time Kenshin, almost as long as Maekawa-san." She explained. "So, I know the menu by hard." She smiled cheekily.

"I see."

She stretched her hands over the table and took a hold of his. "You'll like what I picked." She promised, stroking his left hand, almost absently. "I'll eat what you don't, how's that."

Kenshin laughed; pretty sure she would in any case. He let her hold his hand as he used the other to cup her cheek. Kaoru closed her eyes basking in the caress. "Do you care where we go?" He asked; eyes intent on her face. He watched her shake her head.

"No," she said, almost in a whisper. "I don't mind."

He smiled, of course, wondering if she'd even heard what he'd asked. As he watched her, slowly, beginning to pull away and back. He leaned over the table, surprising her as he pressed his lips to hers _softly_, letting the kiss linger, until she sighed and smiled—contently watching him as he sat on back.

There were a few people seated in the restaurant, still not nearly enough to have kept him from kissing her again if she'd just looked about to ask. But she didn't, Kaoru merely held his hands, studiously avoiding his gaze as they waiting patiently for their food to come. And with the vast amounts they brought, he was very soon forgotten. The queasiness she'd felt earlier in the day had completely vanished, leaving her so famished. She almost salivated at the sight. Still she remembered him seconds later and smiled before she picked up her chopsticks and began to eat.

They hardly spoke throughout the late brunch. Though words hardly seemed necessary anymore—she beamed at everything and everyone. Her eyes joyful and bright, she smiled constantly. And it was with a small sense of fear that he understood such overwhelming happiness. Though he could never express it in the same way as she often did, he understood it.

It was in awe and trepidation that he recognized the way life had narrowed all of its possibilities and wonders into a whole. The idea that she held everything that he was seemed almost impossible but–

"Kenshin?" She looked at him questioningly, forgetting all about her ice cream, as she squeezed his hand with her other.

He nodded, a little, letting her know he was fine as he unlocked the car door. He stepped back, watching her, distractedly as he waited for her sit and buckle before he closed the door again and made his way to the driver's side, glancing at his watch as he took a seat. He noted the meal had transcended on rather slowly, taking just over an hour and a half before they'd actually come to leave. Quite reluctantly, even then because Maekawa like Kaoru, had seemed surprisingly sad to see the other go.

Inwardly sighing, he glanced away and started up the car. Thinking however impossible the idea may have seemed to him at one point, he could no longer deny it being the truth. As he looked behind him, slowly pulling out onto the street. He stole a glance of her, before shifting gears along the way and taking the ramp back onto highway.

Kaoru sighed, a little before beaming. "I love that place." She said pausing only long enough between licks of her ice cream to say. "They have the best Italian food I've ever tasted.

Kenshin, who'd glanced at her from the corner of his eye, watched her, momentarily transfixed as her tongue swirled around the cold dessert. In such familiar motions, he sighed, admitting his mind did often drift whenever she was near—though who could really blame him, when she was so quite obviously distracting. Often he had paper work he'd simply just abandon in favor of tousling her around a bit.

"What's making you smile?"

For a moment, he merely stared at her, unaware he'd been doing it until she'd pointed it out. But even then, he looked at her bemusedly, until it dawned on him that she would have needed to be starting at him for the observation to have come so fast. As mischievous glint appeared in his eyes, he smiled at her, almost lazily.

It was a smile meant to disarm. And she had to blink back her surprise, caught still by the sliver of what had been his thoughts, as his smile widened, she understood, whatever it was she had seen—she'd seen it only because he'd made no effort to try and hide it.

His gaze grew heated and Kaoru, who'd stopped licking her ice cream some time ago, stared at him in silent fascination. She was so predictable sometimes, his smirk grew all knowing. He'd caught on to her fascination with eyes early on in the relationship and though they'd never had a serious argument, he knew all he had to do was release the yellowed-eyed demon that lived inside him. She'd succumb to anything after that.

"Your _'treat' . . . _koishii."

Her attention returned at once to the melting treat as she stuck out her tongue, lapping at her hand and cone as she tried to catch the small viscous drops before they fell–

Kenshin shook his head, both, amused and somewhat aroused, he kept his eyes on the road there after. Still he could see her with his peripheral vision, just out of the side of his eyes. And he inwardly sighed, thinking; she really was too distracting . . . It was a coincidence simply, that Kaoru began to slurp the milky white liquid just then but even so, he almost bit his tongue, stifling an unexpected groan. She knew how sensitive his hearing was. For Kami's sakes . . . he closed his eyes, briefly, exhaling a calming breath before opening them again. And watching her swallow, slowly, licking at her lips in a way that caused his knuckles to turn white on the steering wheel. As he watcher her, calmly, reminding himself they'd have plenty of time for such _things . . . _later. He strengthened his resolve. He could after all be patient man.

"Do you want some?"

He grunted and she eyed him strangely. Wondering why he did that ever time she offered him some ice cream.

· · · · ·

It was dessert, of course and Kaoru sat happily on his lap, licking chocolate of her fingertips as she munched on contently. They'd spent the entire day putting away all the Christmas decorations and so the take-out he'd stopped off earlier to get had been nothing short of heaven sent. Dessert especially, despite its simplicity, was something she really had enjoyed. And what she could maybe even guess had prompted him to give up the remaining half. As she picked up another berry, slowly dipping it in chocolate, she sighed, gratefully adoring it before brining it to her mouth, slowly, savoring the moment before she picked another and did the same, all over again.

Oblivious, he knew to everything but her food. At least for a while longer still; Kenshin kept his eyes on the tv, rubbing at her back slowly while she finished '_their' _dessert. Wondering, still; how anyone built so small could even manage to eat as much she did—would forever probably continue to remain a mystery. Though the way he figured, it was all probably due to some sort of fast metabolism, something in her genetic make up which . . . She sighed suddenly and leaned her head into the crook of his neck. A quick glance at the table revealed to him that which he'd already expected: an empty plate. Of course . . .

Kaoru cuddled closer into his lap just then making herself a bit comfortable which succeeded pretty much in extracting him from his thoughts as he sat there, silently awaiting her—Kaoru sighed, resting her forehead so close against his neck; he could almost taste the twined scents of fruit and chocolate coming from her breath. Enticing him, he knew, in ways he'd long ago should've come to terms in trying to ignore but all the same, he laid a hand on her lap, unconsciously pushing up her dress until his hand lay bare against her leg; so soft and warm against his skin, he vaguely watched the screen. Distractedly, instead he began rubbing at her skin, calming without meaning, her body began droop—relaxing, he realized as she fell asleep.

And still—even after all of it—after all of _this . . ._ It was hard for him to believe; they'd just gone and gotten married. Were it anyone else other then them, he'd have said they were crazy maybe even stupid. How could two people who'd just barely met and fallen in love be then married so right away? It was strange but not as much as _knowing _that as new as it all was now, in the long run, he'd made the right choice.

For all he'd promised her; _for today, tomorrow and everyday after_—for all the days of his life now, he belonged to her. He was hers. _In a way_, he wouldn't have ever would wanted to announce, before, to anyone. But now, as he glanced at the rings on his hand, he thought, there wasn't much of anything he wouldn't do to keep that. _"Not anything,"_ he murmured, closing his eyes against her hair as he sighed, so deeply, he felt the scent of her brush against his heart.

Sometime later when night had descended: his thoughts, no longer troubled by anything, began to wonder to things he'd paid very little attention to before all of this had occurred. Main of which had so far being neglecting to ask her when it'd be alright to fetch the rest of her things from her father's home. He was busy all of the rest of the week and then on Friday they'd be leaving on a weeklong honeymoon which he realized, meant that he'd have to hold off and wait till they came back. The thought of course, made the corners of his mouth turn down; he didn't _want_––_to have to _wait but––

Kaoru stirred just then pulling him out of his reverie as she yawned softly against his neck. Slowly raising her head, as she nuzzled him affectionately one last time before pulling a little away, smiling sleepily still. "What time is it?" She asked.

"Eleven."

Kaoru nodded and stretched, yawning once more before she rose. "We really should go to bed."

He nodded and stood. Turning off the tv with the control before he tossed it on the couch and followed, walking just a bit behind her as they made their way into the bedroom—conveniently suddenly, as he veered off to the right and closed the door behind him.

As she watched him, for a moment, disappear into the bathroom with only the slight beginnings of frown forming on her face . . . Before she shook her head, disregarding his behavior as she began to change, slowly, pulling off the pale pink dress and changing into a thin strapped camisole. While alone in the bedroom, she dressed quickly and quietly, settling on the bed, as she began the slow meticulous process of brushing out her hair.

It was minutes later, when the bathroom door suddenly opened that she looked up again. Watching him walk out—she stood and began to walk on past him, when she realized suddenly that he'd let his hair come undone; flowing down his back in long wild tangles like some sort of great lions mane—she slowed her walk. Eyes, darting between his hair and hands as she gazed at him hoping to see him strip before she made it to the door . . . She watched him, so rapt on him unbuttoning the buttons off his shirt; she never even saw the door but walked right into it with a very audible thud.

Kenshin, of course, had then to turn; smiling as she rubbed her head. "You okay?"

"Yes . . . Fine . . . _Just fine_—" She muttered, walking into the bathroom.

He shook his head, unhurriedly continuing his undress before tossing off his socks and clothes to the chair nearest by the window before climbing into bed. Wondering how long she'd be—he settled back against a pillow propped against the headboard, beneath a blanket and the unwelcoming bit of cold it'd always provided him before. As he waited, arms propped beneath his head, he closed his eyes, unusually tired by all the days' events . . . lingering still somewhere inside his head.

All the same, it took her several longer minutes still before she stepped on out of the bathroom, her long dark hair, now soft and free of tangles, shimmered in the soft light filling up the room. Make-up free and minty'd breath—she'd begun to walk on past the closet when she paused suddenly seeing her jeans on the bottom of the floor. She picked them up and was ready to hang them up again when she seemingly stopped. Inspecting them, under slow, careful scrutiny––only made her wonder even more. So as abrupt as the need to pick them up had been, she began to put them on. Silently cursing when she couldn't get the zipper up—she tried, for several long minutes, she kept holding in her breath, trying and trying until she got the zipper up but then after all that trouble, she found it even harder to take a breathe. "These pants . . ." she complained, "fit way too tight." Inhaling a great deep breath, she unbuttoned them, gratefully getting them undone in her first try before the breath rush out of her. As she shimmied out of the jeans—

Kenshin glanced at her, wondering, "_Why_—" he asked—"are you trying on clothes before you go to bed?"

Kaoru tossed the pants aside and took a moment to look in the mirror, turning sideways. She thought she didn't look any chubbier but as her hands smoothed over her hips and down the flat span of her stomach. She frowned and turned her back; looking over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of her bum. _No_—she thought; she certainly didn't seem to be getting fat but her pants didn't fit. And it could all be that they'd simply shrunk but—she turned to him, dressed only in her tank and matching panties. "Do you think I'm getting fat?"

"No," he reassured. "Now come to bed." He extended out a hand to her and waited for her to come to him.

And she did, after a moment's hesitation—she moved away from the mirror, slowly padding towards the bed while he turned the covers back. As she slid in next to him, feeling his arms settling around her waist; she sighed more than a little glad for the warmth always emanating from his body.

Thoughts of yesterday—she remembered had been a little too intense. She'd hardly gotten any rest and then today, with the wedding and her nervousness. She was tired. And couldn't help but yawn as she rubbed her face against his chest. She heard him sigh and was glad once again that he didn't like sleeping in any kind of clothes. As she smiled, allowing her eyes to drift almost close. She felt a comforting type of warmth encompass her. A sleep so deep, it slithered past her consciousness, eating her last thoughts as they fleeted past a shadow veiled within the shade of an abyss, which whispered to her still . . .

· · · · ·

It had been growing colder, steadily with everyday that passed. The wind had been howling for several days and dark skies had soon filled with angry clouds that seemed ready to burst at any moments notice. It was winter, after all and the breeze stirred strongly among the trees, catching bits of Kenshin's hair as he pulled the mail out from the mailbox and carried it back to the car with him. "Here," he said, handing her several small packages through the open car window before he pulled out a stack of letters from his back pocket and handed them over as well.

The air stirred strongly once again as he walked around the car, thrusting, the jagged ends of his bangs into his eyes, so that for a second or so, he merely blinked before he suddenly pushed them back, away from his face as he opened the door and let himself in.

As he started up the car Kaoru suddenly gasped. "Late presents," she cooed as she began to open one. He smiled and headed back to his apartment.

It was Thursday already, just a day before they left on a week long vacation to the Caribbean. And because of _that_ they'd had to stop off to get the mail from her father's house today instead of Friday like they almost always did.

"Oh."

He glanced at her as Kaoru held out a short black negligee for him to see. "Hm," She murmured, turning the card slowly over. "Oh it's from Tai. How nice, listen to what he wrote:

Ohayo! Kaoru-chan,

Thanks for the present. I hope you and your boyfriend enjoy my gift as much as I enjoyed yours.

Hugs and Kisses Tai

For a moment, Kaoru merely smiled, fondly rereading the letter a moment longer before putting it away and proceeding to the next box. "Barrettes," she stated displaying a set of twin barrettes, with clear and blue stones. "And they're from . . . _my papa_." She mused aloud, turning the note over. "Oh . . . my, they're real diamonds." She said, eyes shimmering. _What a great papa_, she thought, carefully putting them back into their box before she picked up another package, a little plainer than the others with what looked like a child's writing.

"Now these," she said, looking over the last two. "Look like they're from the hospital." Opening a plain wrapped package, she found a set of five silver bracelets. "How cute . . ." she thought and _how utterly thoughtful _. . . For someone to have remembered, such a small silly little detail from one of her stories was surprising enough but nevertheless appreciated. Putting them on, turning the wrapping over, "It looks like they're from Toru . . . You know, one of the boys in my wing." As she smiled and put the box aside, she watched him glance at her. Finally, unwrapping the last one, Kaoru tore the binds and paper off, digging through the vast amounts of tissue before she paused, suddenly, surprised. "A black baccara?" Her brows knotted and she turned to him, handing him the box. "I don't get it."

Kenshin's features closed off immediately as he examined it. Carefully, moving aside the black and burgundy tissue paper the rose lay nestled in. He looked over and around the box, but at seeing only the hospital's address and no name. "I'll hold on to this." He told her, deceptively casual as he set the box aside, away from her grasp and without her notice.

Kaoru nodded and turned, looking through the small tack of letters he'd gone to get her. Distracted, if only for the time being, he shifted gears quickly setting it on fourth before he pushed the cruise control and drove, mildly at ease with a hand on the steering wheel while the other searched inside the box. Looking carefully through the layers for a note or anything of the sort . . . but instead he began to frown, worried now by the lack of one, his eyes grew dark and shadowed, bereft of feeling as the last bits of sun fell across his face.

Suspicious _already_, even if by nature—he was even overly more when it came to her . . . _but _that's because _he knew _things she would never understand. Things about human nature _no one _but a killer could ever possibly understand. For someone who looked like her . . . It wouldn't be wise for him to ignore _this _now. He was going to have to head downtown. Drop this off at S-9's lab and . . . he glanced at the clock in the car, reading eighteen-thirty on the dot. He thought—_hurry down there_.

They would have results for him in the morning if he were to drop it off before nineteen hundred hours. And _he would _just make it if he hurried now. Switching lanes, turning off the cruise control, he shifted back to third, picking up speed before he shifted back to fourth, heading down town instead of home now. He glanced out the window, thinking she wouldn't mind the small detour at all—if somewhere along the way, he found her something sweet to keep her entertained. Smiling, despite his worry now. Kenshin watched the sky turn a range of dark orange colored hues—so reminiscent of those in his youth, his smile vanished. Remembering . . .

Kaoru suddenly laughed. "Baka." Eyes intent, she leafed through several more pages of her letter before something unexpected fell into her lap. As she picked it up, a look of mild surprised washed over her face, briefly stunned before she hook her head. Amused, she wondered _why _even after all these years, he still couldn't put much thought into one of his gifts? As she shook her head, turning the check over in her hand, she paused, finding the print suddenly curious, she sniffed it and laughed. Pleased by his _Cotton Candy _choice—Kaoru smiled, folding the check and tucking it into her purse, she made herself a metal note to deposit it later.

"What was that?"

She glanced at him from behind her letter. "A check from my cousin, I've been getting one since he was old enough to work." Kaoru shook her head. "Don't know what he does but his checks are always very generous. I'll have to go visit him one of these days."

"Where does he live?"

"Osaka last time I checked though he does have a house in Kyoto but he never goes there." She smiled at him and continued reading her letter. It was several minutes later when the car came to a stop that she looked up again. "We're still in Shinjuku?"

Kenshin nodded and turned the ignition off. "I need to drop something off." He turned towards her. "I won't take long." He promised. Leaning over, distracting her with a kiss, he carefully picked up the troublesome gift before carefully hiding it behind him. As he broke away, smiling at the warm-fussy look in her eyes, he pulled back completely and opened the door. Stepping out into the cold winter afternoon, he ignored the thrashing gust of wind that tousled his hair around, oblivious to the winter chill, he shifted the small box against him, a bit more securely before he sighed and set off—with the door closing behind him.

Kaoru was once again left alone, watching him as he jogged across the street and into a large nameless building. Eyes lingering on the door he'd used, she sighed, wistfully touching her lips before her attention slowly returned to the letter in her lap. Though now, she realized, it'd gotten too dark to see. Sighing, almost regretfully, she put the letter back inside the envelope and set it aside, before taking a slow look around. Wondering where exactly they had gone . . . when her gaze suddenly paused, intent on a dark, red sign just beyond her door. "Fuji," she read, smiling at her luck—to have her bank right across the street from his building—she pulled the keys he'd left behind from the ignition and picked her purse up.

Nights had grown chilly in Tokyo and despite wearing jeans and a heavy knit turtleneck, she found the air to still seep through—_almost, _unbearably cold. Even for a January evening, she thought it was awfully cold and shivered despite her clothing. As she finished locking up the car she sneezed; distantly, distracted by the cloud of fog her breath had formed—she sneezed again and sighed, this time, hoping it wasn't a sign of her getting sick. She made her way over to the ATM where the area there at least was well lit. Glancing around, making sure she was indeed alone, she pulled out an envelope from a side compartment at the machine before pulling out her check, gently, unfolding it before she signed it and wrote her account number on it. Thinking, Aoshi really should learn to send her gift cards or something else instead. She blew on her fingertips as the feeling of numbness began to spread. Sticking the check into the envelope and quickly sealing it close. She pulled out her check-card and almost dropped it, her hands trembled so much. "You'd think I'd be used to the cold," she murmured. Blowing on her fingertips once again, she punched in her pin and made her deposit.

Teeth chattering, she pulled her statement free. All the while, thinking; she loved her cousin, she really did as much and she was sure as he loved her too. But maybe, she thought, it was time she asked him about wiring her the money instead. Sneezing once, twice and then a third time, Kaoru stuffed the statement into her pocket and thought, yeah, it's definitely time she asked. Pulling on her sleeves to cover over her hands, she slowly turned and began to walk away when the doors to the bank suddenly exploded with such force, she staggered back, unable to see beyond the cloud of dust showering debris in large fragmented heaps all around the street.

As she coughed, watching the remains of dust settling into bits and slivers—a masked man suddenly ran out from where the bank wall had stood just moments before, looking anxiously around. When he spotted her, Kaoru tried to back away—gaze, intent on the building across the way.

"Where's you car?"

Kaoru's attention quickly came back to thief. Raising her hands in surrender. "I don't have one," she said, lightly admitting. "I can't drive." But his eyes fell on her jeans and she realized, if belatedly, that she'd left his keys hanging out. _Damn it!_

"You're a _liar_." He sneered and pointed his gun at her. While she watched him approach her, briefly unsure if he could _really _be that dumb. She wondered—why he didn't just ask for the keys to get tossed to him. It would have been safer.

As he made a grab for the keys, she knocked the gun out of his hand with her left while her right hand drove upwards in a forceful thrust to the throat. Making him choke and stagger as tears sprung to his eyes Kaoru moved without any further warning, breaking his nose with the heel of her palm, with an exact crushing precision.

He sank to his knees, bleeding profusely now, she kicked the side of his head, sending him flying into a wall as she effectively knocked him out—just as she'd been taught. Only now, did she tremble, amazed to see that all her years of Kempo training had finally paid off. She pulled out her cell from her purse and began to dial the police.

"Put that down."

Kaoru's eyes turned back to the bank's entrance. "You have got to be kidding me." She dropped her phone and raised her hands in surrender, again. How many more where there?

The masked man shot the phone on the floor and turned the gun back to her. "Keys." He demanded.

"I don't have a car."

He cocked the gun. "Now."

"I don't have a car."

"Fuck," he approached her wearily. He'd seen the last blow she'd delivered to his brother. And as the eldest, not to mention the more cautious of the two, he put the gun right at the hollow of her throat making sure she understood the threat behind the action before he slowly reached for the keys himself.

Only Kaoru didn't seem to care anymore her eyes were intent on the building across the street, fear and worry no longer a part of what she felt as she murmured. "Kenshin . . ."

The thief's face jerked up and immediately hid behind her. Putting the gun to her temple, he peeked out from behind her shoulder. Until—_there_—across the street, he saw a red headed man, gun out and pointed in their direction.

"Let her go!"

"That's my husband." Kaoru said, breath short and warm. Appealing in away he didn't want to think about just then. As his hand settled on her shoulder, slowly making her move with him. He asked her, "Which car's his?"

But Kaoru kept silent.

"Don't make me shoot you." He growled. "Just tell me and I'll let you go once I'm inside." For a moment, as her face turned, just slightly but enough for him to glance at her, he thought she just might do that when the voice of someone else cut her off. "Drop your gun. And let her go. NOW!"

"Kenshin's really short-tempered." She said, almost conversationally while the thief kept his eyes on the approaching man.

"Stay back." He warned. "Stay back or I'll shoot her."

"No, he's the best marksman -"

"Shut up, shit I only needed the fucking keys." He gritted out in frustration. "Just tell me which car's his."

"_I'm **not **going to **warn **you **again**_." He promised, eyes already the color of burnished gold. Kenshin pointed his gun higher, ready for then opening he would need to put a bullet though the man's head. His intent, only too obvious.

The thief looked around fearfully now, until it struck him suddenly. And he pushed the alarm on her keys. A car to his right suddenly beeped and flashed its light. "Perfect." He thought and began to pull her along, carefully maintaining his head hidden behind her. Until the unexpected sound of rushed footsteps abruptly made him pause and he saw, for the first time at least a half a dozen men with guns running out of the building from across the street.

"He's a former S-9 agent." Kaoru explained, sensing his confusion.

"Fuck." For a moment, he cursed at his luck before gripping her tighter. "Come on." He growled, pulling her along, slowly, inching his way to the black sports car. His eyes, cautious, constantly roamed over the rooftops but it was too hard to see. It was getting dark. And either way, he imagined any sharpshooter of theirs would probably know better than getting themselves seen until they took their shot. Which he was not about to let happen. _Shit! _He used the control on her keys to unlock the car, keeping her in front as a shield. They neared the driver's door still keeping his movement's slow, he opened it carefully, peeking out from behind her one last time before getting in—he caught sight of the redheaded man, eyes locking on gold.

Kaoru closed her eyes. Just a second or so it seemed before the silence around them abruptly shattered, cracked, by the loud deafening sound of a shot rippling across the sky. Echoing, sickly as it hits mark and something wet splashed against the wall behind them. Making Kaoru glad at least that she'd closed her eyes, as the grip on her shoulder began to loosen, she sighed, glad to be free.

"Kaoru come to me!"

She nodded enthusiastically and ran to his side when the angry look across his face suddenly darkened, Kaoru stopped where she stood. In the middle of the street. A second shot rang out, echoing just as loudly as the first. Kenshin's gun was still raised but there was a look of horror on his face.

"Kaoru!"

She didn't understand.

"Kaoru!"

She fell to her knees.

"Kaoru!"

He was running . . . towards her. As she blinked, slowly, feeling her world begin to tilt. There was a split second of awareness, a feeling of something gone horribly wrong, quickly followed by blackness as her head connected with the pavement, Kaoru's eyes closed.

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I'm back. _Please don't hate me. _I know what I said. But you guys, really have to understand how hard it is for me to edit. I have no beta at all. And asking one of the readers to do it for me just seems a little too pushy. Because . . . well, I am pushy. I'm a perfectionist and those of you who email me regularly know I often write up to 35 version of just one chapter. Besides that, I got sick and lost my internet connection. So, I'm hoping the lot of you will simply forgive me if I just post this all the way through. Meaning, you count on reading the end today. (How's that, huh? Will all of you love me again . . . huh? I'll await reviews and see. ) In the meantime, lets move on to the second part of this, yes.

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Though don't forget, anything between _these lines_ means dream sequence. Alright.

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Alright. Like always email me if you have any questions. I posted a lot this time so I that aught to hold you guys off for a while. Thanks for reading and please, don't forget to review


	27. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments 0o you may contact me at or through the website.

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Any life, no matter how long and complex it may be,

is made up of a single moment -

the moment in which a man finds out,

once and for all, who he is.

- Jorge Luis Borges

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Chapter Twenty-Six

His gun was still raised, aimed at the perp. as he called her to him, sparing her a glace before his eyes returned to the falling man. A part of him noted she was half way to him when the man's arm hit the pavement, the gun hitting last. As a loud shot resonated out of it, he watched in horror as the bullet caught her in the back.

"Kaoru."

No, he couldn't believe . . . No.

"Kaoru!"

She was going to fall . . .

"Kaoru!"

He ran to her side, shouting her name, seeing only confusion in her gaze as she fell to her knees.

"Kaoru!"

Her head connected with the cement, eerily making no sound as he picked her up, turning her in his arms. The warm wetness on her clothes made his heart sink. "Koishii?" He put his hand over her breast trying to stop the flowing of her blood, as it stained his hands and clothes all he could do was try to stop it from seeping out. His free hand traveling to the cut on her temple, seeing more of the dark liquid oozing out, coating her dark hair. "Koishii . . ." He felt the hot sting of tears behind his lids.

"Himura!"

Loud sirens swept over the block as police and ambulance stopped in front of the bank. Men and women bolted out of their cars, rushing to the scene a bit too late.

"Himura the ambulance's here!"

And still, his ears heard nothing but the rushing sound off her blood escaping the confines of her heart. As tears sprang to his eyes, feeling like his heart would literally tear apart. _"Koishii . . ."_ his voice cracked, chocking on words—on emotions too overwhelming to ever see past.

"Can you hear me?"

"We need to take her." A hand settled on his shoulder and he shook it off, snarling at the stranger until he realized it was a paramedic. As hoped bloomed in dying embers, he thought—_they could save her_. Heart screaming, he nodded and hugged her tightly, a few of his tears falling on her face as he kissed her pale lips and relinquished his hold, if reluctantly.

"He's still alive! _Someone_, get another medic."

It was this that made him turn suddenly; golden orbs, glinting crazily, as he stood. Gaze locked in the direction of his car, where another paramedic crouched, kneeling besides the man who'd shot his wife.

"We'll have to take him to -" The paramedic could not finish, as he was shoved aside, he could only watch as Kenshin stood over the body, unloading his gun in a succession of five point-blank strikes. Kicking the body over, making sure the man was dead.

"Wha -what are you doing?" He said, watching Kenshin turn, pale faced and glinting eyes, hands stained red with blood. "Take my wife to the hospital." He raised his gun. "Now."

The paramedic scrabbled to his feet immediately, fleeing away from the crazed man as he ran past several officers and even more PSB agents on his way back to the ambulance.

Silence reigned, despite the sound of sirens and helicopters—and people rushing to get the media behind some yellow tape. Kenshin stood stock-still, watching as the ambulance drove away . . . for a moment before his gaze moved back to where it'd been.

A sudden flash on the right of him made him suddenly aware of the line of reporters standing just behind a line of caution tape, PSB agents were trying to control. As he looked at them, a moment, with dark-yellow feral eyes, glinting eerily in the dark of night, he gazed at them, with such menace. He couldn't have made his statement any more clear; _he wanted to kill them all._

Too much, maybe—as he stood there, a dark scowl etched on his weary face. Anger and hate veiling around him like an invisible second skin . . . He turned away.

"Himura! You can't just leave."

"I'm going to the hospital." He said, continuing to move towards his car.

"We can't let you go."

Kenshin turned, fixing his old commander with a deadly look while Iwakami Toru leader of the Kagemusha just shook his head. "I'm sorry Himura."

"Not as sorry as you could be."

Arms went up at his tone of voice and still he stood unflinching, with his hands at his sides, making no move to draw out his gun.

"Come Himura, we can take care of this quickly and then you can go. I swear it."

Kenshin's gaze moved in the direction the ambulance had gone, he regretted not getting in with her, but he'd known what would happen after shooting the robber.

For a moment, he stilled, pausing where he stood as he tried to decide his course of action. If she was badly hurt which he feared she might be. She might not make it. And just the thought of it, seemed enough to make his heart constrain. So, maybe, if he hurried up here, they would release him right away . . . like they promised. Kenshin turned, focusing his attention back on Toru, hoping that was the case, he said. "If I don't get there in time . . ." his eyes burned . . . "I'll have to come back here." His not so subtle threat to kill them all didn't go unnoticed but he didn't care. Madness and despair were closing in, his world was slowly collapsing, fading into darkness with the threat of her passing. And _that_, he knew he could never bear.

· · · · ·

Kamiya Kenji ran through the halls of the hospital, feeling his heart somewhere in his throat. He angrily rushed down a hall, muttering and cursing. He knew. He never should have left her all alone. She should have never left his sight at all.

Stopping suddenly in front of the nurse's desk. "My daughter," he wheezed. "Kamiya Kaoru," he took a breath. "Please, where is she?"

"Kamiya-san!"

He turned, seeing a woman a few years older than Kaoru call his name.

"Kamiya-san, she just came out of surgery." Sekihara Tae had dashed to his side the moment she saw him run past her. "She's been moved to the ICU, it's on the west wing of this floor. Come on I'll take you."

He nodded and quickly followed the brunet that would lead him to his koneko. Heart pounding, constricting in his chest, he was suddenly glad he'd decided to come back to Tokyo. He hadn't been able to rest since talking to her on New Year's eve, so he'd come, been on his way to their house in Shinjuku when his cell had rang.

They came to stop suddenly and in front of them he could see, rows off beds on either side, each set several feet apart. Sound's of respirators and heart monitor's was all he could hear as he took a step in, frantically looking to where his daughter might be.

"This way," Tae said, pulling on his sleeve, leading him to the last bed on the left.

Moisture gathered at the corners of his eyes, seeing her hooked up to so much machinery, the sound of her own monitor overshadowing her shallow breathing. "Kaoru," Kenji reached for her hand, as bad as it had always been when she'd fallen into her deep sleep, she'd never once looked this bad. "It's your papa." He said, noting with growing worry just how cold she really was. As he pulled up a blanket by her feet, covering her all the way to her chin, he brushed a finger against her cheek, lightly caressing.

"This is all his fault," he said.

Making Tae jump, slightly, startled by his statement. Like many of the other nurses here, she'd been glued to the tv, watching the scene outside the bank unfold. And as a witness to what'd happened—she couldn't understand, _how_ he could say that. No one could say he hadn't tried. "He killed the man who shot her -"

Kaoru's father turned, his eyes glittering with anger and grief. "I should have come for her sooner. I should have taken her with me the last time I came." He turned back to his only child, moving some strands out of her face. "What's her condition?"

Tae sighed. "She was semi-conscious when she arrived." She paused afraid of how he might react. "She - she told the doctors not to give her a new heart, no matter what."

"What?"

"Please Kamiya-san," she tried to appease him. "We're in the ICU." She looked around nervously. "They removed the bullet without any complications, she's weak from loss of blood, but she has a good chance of pulling through."

"But she'd have a better one with a new heart."

Tae was reluctant to respond but his eyes bore into her, dragging the truth with his penetrating gaze. She lowered her eyes and nodded, feeling wretched for revealing the truth. Kenji released the young nurse, his eyes moving away instead to the monitor by his daughter's bed. The numbers didn't give much hope. As his gaze turned back to the laying form. "As her father, can I not void her decision?"

"She's over age."

"But if she was declared incompetent and the hospital was provided with proof, couldn't her decision be overturn then."

"Kamiya-san, I - I don't think you should go against her wishes." Tae's eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

"But can I?" He insisted, turning his face to stare her down. "Can I?" He snapped

"NO." Kenshin appeared to the right of the bed, startling the other two people at her side. "She's my wife." Kenji half leapt, reaching across the bed with surprising strength and hit him, brining blood out of the corner of his mouth. Kenshin eyes glinted wildly though he remained in place. "Does that make you feel better?"

"Killing you would make me feel better." Kenji spat, loathing the mere right of him.

As Kenshin moved forward, control just barely restrained, his hands fisted at his sides just barely stopping himself from acting on impulse. "If you weren't her father," he said voice like ice. "I'd make you eat the floor."

"Her heart rate's dropping." Tae said worriedly, tapping her finger against the monitor. "I'm going to get a doctor."

Kenshin picked up her left hand, hurt by the absence of her ring. His heart felt small in his chest and all at once, he found it hard to breathe. "Koishii."

Kaoru's eyes fluttered open, hands gripping those who held them. She licked her dry lips; her head turning from left to right. "Papa, you've met Kenshin?" Her voice was coarse, grating against her throat with the effort of every word.

"Koneko," he pulled on her hand trying to draw all her attention to him.

"He's my _husband _papa." She gripped his hand. "I wanted to be his wife . . . before I - I fell asleep, again." She blinked suddenly, trying to focus on her father, her gaze already faltering. "It looks like I'll be sleeping soon."

"Don't say that." Kenji begged.

Kaoru smiled regretfully. "I think I always knew this is how it'd end. I'm sorry I have to leave you papa. I never planned to leave you." Tears filled her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. "I had plans to go back with you but- I found Kenshin. I'm sorry, so sorry papa." Her monitor beeped drawing her attention to the machine. "Papa, please, can I speak to Kenshin alone."

Kenji glared at the silent man but nodded just the same, bending over, he laid a kiss on her cheek and released her hand. "I won't be far koneko."

Kaoru waited until her father left before her attention came to rest on the redheaded man in front of her. Her eyes, shinning a clear blue, filled with too many emotions for him to read. "Kenshin," his name was life off her lips. As she sighed, feeling regret fill her soul. "I'm happy I got to have your affection," she said, "even a fraction of it . . ." She pulled her hand in, trying to bring him closer. "I love you, you know, more than you could ever imagine."

"Kaoru I lo-"

"Shh," she waved off his statement. "All I need from you is the promise that you won't let them take my heart."

"But if it will save you."

Kaoru shook her head. "I can't live with another heart, I won't." She gripped his hand. "I have struggled too much with this one to let it go. There's been so much I've had to overcome so that I could be with you." She raised her hand to wipe a tear from his eyes. "I have waited-" Her monitor beeped, again drawing her attention. Her hands were beginning to tremble and she felt her time growing short.

"Please Kaoru, if you loved - "

"_Don't_," she cut him off. "_I don't want _to pass on angry." She amended in a softer tone. "Please don't make this harder than it already is."

Tears fell from his eyes and Kaoru felt the trembling in her hands now spread to her limbs. "I thought I'd only see you cry at the birth of our children." She didn't remember ever seeing him cry. Though it was hard to say if that were truly the case, her past memories were hazing over.

"I love you."

"No," her hands flew to her heart as pain cut across her chest. "Why did you say it?" She hissed, feeling the tearing sensation in her heart grow strong. "Kami," her monitor began to beep continuously. "It hurts, my heart -" Her lips parted in pain.

"Kaoru," she ignored his worried tone, the anguish on his face. His pain, it brought her no joy now; she didn't revel in it like she'd once thought she would. Though sadly she realized, "We're even . . . now" She griped his hand as a pang cut across her chest; the pain was growing worse.

"Some day, _Oow_." She took a half a breath. "We'll meet again." She gasped as tears slipped out of her eyes. Whimpering, at the knot forming in her throat. "I'll be free." She trembled feeling her heart expand. "Ken-" Her binds shattered and the rhythmic beeping of her monitor wailed a long flat sound.

Kenshin's face twisted in agony; as life as he knew it was ripped away from him. Rational thought abandoned him and without thinking, he picked her up, shaking her body in an effort to restore life. "Kaoru." His heart was numbing over. "No," he whispered, halting his shaking. He drew her body closer, holding it to his chest. "Kaoru." He laid his forehead over hers, closed his eyes and breathed against her mouth, "Koishii, _please_-"

He was pulled back suddenly, caught off guard as her body was forced from his grasp. And he fell, struggling against the others trying to pin him, restrain him from breaking free. As he fought, almost wildly, pushing and thrashing, refusing to let them take her from his sight—Kenshin struggled until he managed to stand, again. Trying to catch sight of her—until he felt a small prick on his arm and he turned in time to see something been injected . . . As they wrestled him back to the floor, he moved grief stricken eyes back to her bed, watching from below as doctors and nurses moved around her bed, assiduously trying to resuscitate her. For him, hope was dying but something else, something stronger whispered in his ear, brining life to dying words as he thought . . . _Oh _w_hat he wouldn't give for the chance _. . .

His eyes grew heavy and his body relax, too late, he realized they'd drugged him. And as he felt his captors easing their hold on his arms and legs, slowly, drawing away from him as his vision began to blur. The thought distantly . . .

"Kenshin . . ."

He caught her last breath. As the orderlies watched him, sadly, begin to slump against the cold white sterile floor. His deep violet eyes, already closing, breath, stilling. They could only watch as one of the doctor's, shook his head.

"She's gone."

All eyes turned to the still form on the bed. Her lips parted, with half a formed name.

"No."

Eyes wide, they all turned as he blinked. Blinked and steadied a normal breath. Light amber eyes, flashing, deepening to the color of molted gold as he stood, growling menacingly. His hair rising with his ki, billowing around him, moving with unseen force as something in having been a samurai whispered of his strength, breathed life in him again and wrapped all around him, enclosing about his instincts until he almost unconsciously, reached for a weapon he no longer possessed. Probably wouldn't even need . . .

As he took a step stirring fear and dread, his ki escalated to heights unseen by normal men and though they no longer understood, they could sense the on coming danger, emanating from the lithe man.

"Haven't you done enough?" Kenji asked, tears streaming, features twisted in grief and pain, already at his daughter's side.

Gold wavered then hardened. "_She's mine_, no matter how much you detest the fact. She's mine and will be buried with _me _and me alone." Kenshin said before turning and stalking out of the ICU.

Along the corridor as he almost neared the elevators, he began to feel his adrenaline start to waver, fading with every step until he felt darkness begin to pull on him again, calling out for him to come and rest but he shied away, staggering in his step.

His eyes narrowed on a sign as the borders of his vision blurred, his gaze losing focus, he shook reading the name of a shrine. He blinked and tried again, this time reading the sign properly.

He sighed and made his way, slowly pacing the last couple of steps until entering a chapel. His mind, though a little fuzzy, registered no surprise as he stepped into emptiness. Not many people in Japan were of Catholic faith so . . . Reality seemed to blur, for a moment as the objects in his vision seem to dim; he was forced to sit, slumping into a bench in a dark nearby corner, where the shadows there at least seemed to offer him a little solace.

As he sat there _despite _knowing what he did, his mind still seemed a bit reluctant to understand. _Everything _had been fine, _just _this morning he had awoken with her in bed; arm draped across his chest, happily asleep until he'd brought breakfast to eat in bed. Kissing her lightly, licking sugar off her cheeks—that he would never get to that again—Kenshin suddenly laid his face into his hands. He didn't understands, at all. How could _she _leave _him_ when he could still _feel _her. Close his eyes and see her . . .

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Lips, slightly parting, drawing breath as he slowly drove coherent thought from both their heads. Slowly, at first, while he watched her take short, shallow little breaths before giving in to her insistent hands and conceding to what she liked. As he growled, deep his throat trying to bear her whimpering and mewling, almost caving in as she panted out his name . . . All he could think, as he kissed the side of her throat is just how much he truly wanted her, all of her; mind, body and soul . . .

"You belong with me." He said, slowly trailing kisses up her jaw. "There isn't any place . . ." she could go where he wouldn't follow and bring her back to him. She was _his. _And as she arched against him, silently begging him to release her body from its torment, he whispered, "_mine._" Softly against her cheek before kissing her, so deeply, he felt the threads of her love twine around his heart. Enslaving, it to a fate he couldn't quite yet comprehend. Not that it mattered, for him or for her, as he kissed a trail down her throat—"There's no escaping that," he thought. As she closed her eyes, arching her body into the heat of his mouth and loving hands . . .

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Kenshin pulled his gun out of its holster, unnoticed tears falling on his lap, as he carefully looked it over. He knew they hadn't wanted to let him keep it; afraid he'd shoot someone else, in his state of mind. As he held it, counting the bullets in his clip . . . He thought, he could -

"Onii-san."

Kenshin put the clip back in immediately, turning, his eyes fell on a small child. Familiar in a way he couldn't quite explain. She seemed about the age of five, with long dark hair and blue-black eyes.

"Have a cookie."

Kenshin looked at the offered treat, pink and blue pale frosting swirled over the _top _. . . like the colors of her cotton candy . . . He felt knot form in his throat and he watched, almost absently as she wave the cookie around before placing it in his palm. Adding, more grief to the already hollow, feeling he felt rising somewhere inside him . . . Beneath the shell, of what he'd been maybe of what he'd always been until he'd met her.

"My name is Kaiya."

Kenshin nodded, trying to focus. "My wife's mother-" He paused, momentarily consumed by too much grief. "That was her name too." He said, after a moment, swallowing the knot in his throat.

The little girl smiled, laying a tiny hand on his knee. "Eat the cookie; it'll make everything all right. You'll see."

She was so earnest. His eyes narrowed, slightly, feeling there was more to what she said. Before he realized, sadly, he wanted to believe her, so much—he s hook his head. It seemed he was already loosing his mind, he thought as he tossed the cookie into his mouth, chewing it twice before swallowing it.

"It'll be okay now." She said, patting his knee. Almost reassuringly before she turned, slowly moving away, heading back towards the door where she seemed to pause, just a little, as she smiled at him. "Just sleep," she said.

As a drowsy feeling began to descend down upon him, Kenshin frowned but it was too late, already his eyes were closing as he turned, head cocked just a little to the side, looking at the smiling child with half lidded eyes. He heard her whisper . . .

"Just sleep now Kenshin. It'll be all right. You'll see."

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It was dark when awoke. Half sitting, in the initial startled rush, as he was released from the dream. Sweat beaded down his brow. Confusing him, for a moment as all those old feelings of pain and loss, washed over him, all over again—until anger surged into his veins. Though it vanished just as quickly as it came, he had no other choice but than to slump back onto his cot taking several deep breaths before unconsciously raising a hand to his face, wiping at the drying trail he found . . . there . . . almost, as if he'd been crying. Again—he'd been crying.

"Himura let's go!"

Himura Kenshin; age thirty-six and long time agent of the PSB rose in the dark, already dressed as he made a mad dash for the door and into the corridor where several other men ran down the hallway along with him, men he'd known for years as well as some newer ones the academy had just sent over. Either way, they all ran in the same direction, heading down to the front where they'd all form into a single line before filling into the van.

Now as Kenshin took his seat near the front bus, more than glad this was his last job. He took the assignment board from the driver before quickly reviewing the details as his men filed in . . . He read the repost on the assault on the embassy. Before scanning down, eyes narrowing, catching details. He noted it was classified, a Red-level 2 which meant there were hostages involved, important people no doubt with even higher connections. A '_Do not compromise' _clause had also been added which meant, they would have no other choice but than kill the captors.

As he looked up, the doors just closing, he stood up, holding on to the rail on the ceiling as the van began to move. "We have a black code eight at the embassy," he said, watching the newbies carefully. "There is a 'no arrest clause' on this assignment. So load your weapons, this is a contract assignment."

· · · · ·

It was fall and Kamiya Kenji stood atop a large grassy span. Looking around with dark, sad eyes, seeing all the reminders of his daughter's youth as he clutched at the deep blue Azure Alliums he held in his hand, cotton candy almost forgotten now, had been bought in her favorite shades of pink and soft, pale blue swirled into a perfect cloud. A favorite of hers, he thought . . . when she'd only been just a child.

"So this is where you ran off."

Kenji turned seeing the apple of his eye, standing in dark robes, smiling larger than life. He presented his gifts rather dejectedly. He'd known this day would come, though he'd always hoped for it to happen later. Much later, perhaps once he'd passed on. He sighed knowing how selfish he was just in thinking that . . .

"Papa, you act as if I've been diagnosed with a terminal decease." Kamiya Kaoru said, smiling at her father before enveloping him in a hug. "I'm twenty-five. Please rest assure. I am more than capable of taking care of myself."

He nodded. "I just don't see why you need to move out?"

Kaoru shook her head, long strands of black swaying to the sides with the moment. "I need to be closer to the hospital, you know that. It's taken eight years to become a doctor and I just think that it would be best for me to live with the other interns for a while." She sighed at the expression on his face. "I'll tell you what, If living at the North Gate doesn't work out then I'll move back home."

Kenji nodded.

"I'll still be close papa." She tilted his chin, making him smile as she tugged on his hand. "Come on," she pulled him along. "Let's go celebrate my graduating Med-school." Together they walked off the campus, heading for the car, parked not too from where they'd stood.

Despite it all, Kenji couldn't help but smile, feeling a lot more at ease now with the promise and the hope of her returning to him soon. He smiled, a bit more genuine this time as he thought of his koneko, a doctor; it was still so hard for him to believe. Not that he wasn't proud of her or anything but he'd always harbored this small of hope of her following him into business maybe even sharing a few of the ceo duties. Still being an MD, how could that not make him just as proud. Pediatricians made good money and the way she shopped, well he was just glad she'd found a calling that paid so well.

Opening her door open, waiting for her dainty feet to be in before he closed it and walked around, over to his side. As he sat, starting up the car, he said. "I'd made reservations at Kaigan (Seashore) by the side of Tokyo Bay but Maekawa wanted me to bring you by first, is that ok."

Kaoru nodded, watching his face. "You know, we don't need to drive all the way to Kaigan, right." She wasn't too fond of seafood and if this was her last chance to get out of it . . . she'd take it.

Kenji smiled to himself, carefully backing out. "I figured you might say that, so I told him we'd be going there after the ceremony."

She nodded in acceptance; she'd take the House of Pasta over any restaurant, on any day. It was her favorite place, after all, so . . . She yawned suddenly, leaning her head against the back seat. She tried to stay awake but she was just so exhausted from all the cramming she'd had to do these last couple of days. They'd been tested almost right up until the very last day. With minimal amounts of sleep and tons of coffee, Kaoru had barely managed to stay alert. But now the tests were over and she couldn't help but yawn, as she settled further into her seat, closing her eyes for just a minute . . .

A thoughtful look appeared on Kamiya Kenji's face as he wondered whether or not; he should take her out still. It had been a good idea a month ago, when he'd realized, she'd really be graduating at the end of terms but now . . . He could only imagine how stressful these last couple of days had been. She didn't appear tired in his company, usually but that didn't mean she wasn't. As his eyes went back on the road, gaze remaining fixed, he carefully drove out of the city, quietly making his way back to Shinjuku as he avoided all the major streets. It would be a longer drive but a quieter one as well . . .

Sometime after, as Kaoru's eyes began to open, slowly, still yawning as she sat up. She noted the car had actually already come to stop, parked outside the House of Pasta, she imagined with her father already inside. As she closed her eyes, shaking her head, clearing it of a few cobwebs her short nap might have provided. Before looking around, glancing at the ignition, making sure the keys weren't in the car—before stepping out. Lightly, feeling a cold breeze brush against her neck . . . Kaoru turned, face perplexed, as she looked around, noting the oddity of the day. Her eyes slightly narrowed; fog wasn't an uncommon occurrence in Tokyo but there was something about it . . . today, she couldn't quite explain. Still—sighing she dismissed the thought and closed the door.

A few seconds later, chimes announced her entrance as she walked in to the restaurant. Seeing her father already seated by the kitchen doors—"Papa," she called, bowing respectfully to Maekawa-san.

"Congratulations, Kaoru-chan we're all very proud of you," he said.

Kaoru smiled, "Thank you." She said, a slight blush tainting her cheeks. Maekawa chuckled and pulled out her seat as she nodded her thanks again to, he excused himself as he was suddenly called away.

"I changed our order to takeout, I thought you could use the rest."

Kaoru opened her mouth in protest but readily closed it instead deciding that maybe she could really use the rest. "That's fine I guess."

Kenji smiled and ruffled her bangs. As much as he'd been looking forward to having a celebratory meal, he'd pass it up and drop her off at the North Gate. She started work early tomorrow and he didn't want her to be late.

· · · · ·

"Mo-ou," Kaoru muttered as she ran home. It really was always something with her, she thought. Just as she'd thought that once her internship had started, she'd be able to leave homework-filled days behind her but no—baka. Of course, her mentor would assign the reading of her book. Why wouldn't she Kaoru thought, as she sighed, quickening her pace . . . The bookstore wasn't too far from her old house but it was quite a bit longer from where she now lived, so, she had quite a bit more distance to—.

"Umph," Kaoru suddenly reeled, arms flailing ungracefully as she tumbled back. A set of strong arms reached out for her in time, catching her before she fell. As Kaoru smiled, grateful for the save, the words in her mouth died on the tip of her tongue, entangle by a set of such intense blue-violet eyes—her rescuer helped her gain her balance again before slowly letting go. Though she remained in place even after his arms had dropped away.

Kaoru stood in front of him, feeling her heart leaping over several bounds. Snared by his gaze—so involved in his eyes, she'd failed to realize her proximity to him, standing less than half a foot away. The corners of his mouth turned up, just slightly, noting what she had yet to realize.

"What's your name?"

"Kaoru," she answered, mindlessly unaware.

As life drifted back into his eyes, he smiled, a soft enigmatic smile. "Like the empress." He said, watching her nod and smile.

"Yes, you know the story."

His smile slipped and sadly shook his head.

Kaoru noticed the sadness in his eyes despite his quickness in covering it up. "We'll maybe I'll tell it to you sometime. I have homework so I have to go but-" She hesitated. "Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?" She blushed furiously, biting her lip in embarrassment. She wasn't used to asking people out.

Nonetheless, his eyes darkened and his tone lowered, dropping an octave when he said. "American style food makes nice for a first date."

The soft drawl of his voice made her stomach tumble and her heart pause in its wild sprint as she just barely nodded at him. "There's - there's a bookstore about two blocks south from here." She said, blushing. "We can meet there, if you want."

He nodded.

"Kay, I'll see you tomorrow then." Kaoru smiled and turned, aware of his gaze as she walked away, almost as if he were waiting for something . . . Kaoru's step suddenly faltered, remembering, she turned. "_Wait . . . _your name?"

"Himura . . . Himura Kenshin."

For a moment, recognition seemed to fleet across her face and he thought she might remember but then she smiled pronouncing his name as if it were the firs time. '_Kenshin_,' it seemed to roll of her tongue, _Himura Kenshin_, she smiled.

"See you tomorrow then . . . Kenshin." She raised her hand to wave at him before she continued her jog home.

"See you tomorrow . . . _koishii_." He whispered to her disappearing form. As he smiled, turning back towards his apartment. He thought, she might not remember him but he did remember her. The haunting dream he'd had of them had been quite disturbing—his previous choices leading to her death. But they'd been younger in the dream, almost four years younger, which was almost just as long as the dreams themselves had managed to daily haunt him.

Even now . . .

He'd been dreaming about her for so long now, catching a glimpse here and there, every time he fell asleep. Without end, the dream continued from where it'd left. And because it did, some of the choices he'd made in the dream he'd avoided in real life. Mainly because . . . he'd been afraid. Wondering, if he found her . . . would he doom her to the same fate. If he could live through that again though He had thought . . . perhaps in time . . . he could seek her out.

But that had been before the dream had unexpectedly completed the night before. Now after seeing her . . . he knew things would be all right. They were even now. His pain, had in all its overwhelming claim of him, mended the rupture in her heart. The torment he'd felt at her death, the pain—all that suffering had served for something, at least, he'd given her peace.

_This, _he knew, would be their second try, only this time he held the upper hand because he knew her every weakness . . . he felt her every thought. And by Kami, he would exploit them to his advantage. He'd make her fall in love with him before she even realized who he was.

As Tae had told him, '_some people _marry on their first date.' Tomorrow, he thought, he'd see just how much truth there really was to that statement. Before smiling and slowly walking off.

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Don't forget, anything between _these lines_ means dream sequence, okay.

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Now, like always email me if you have any questions. Otherwise continue onto the Epilogue, all right. Thanks for reading and please, don't forget to review.


	28. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments 0o you may contact me at or through the website.

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Epilogue

Lingering touches and gentle kisses rose around him like hushed whispers in a breeze, slowly easing his tension and luring him back, deep, deep into sleep. As the soft crooning continued, caressing his senses, he sighed and completely surrendered, calming under the strange sense of serenity that now mingled in his heart. As he relaxed in the semi-darkness of his haven, continuing as he had been—for the most part—he remained, deep asleep. As the soft chanting drew to a close, a light silver bracelet was secured around his wrist, enforcing the bind on the spell just cast.

Slowly then, did an old woman with dark black hair and white streaked bangs, step away from the bed. Carefully turning to face the expectant features of a young pretty woman, who waited for her just beneath the frame of the door. As she reached her, watching her glimpse at the sleeping figure on the bed, she smiled. Before together, walking away from the bedroom and to another room, quietly, so as to not wake the sleeping male.

The elder woman paused near a window, gazing out at the clear blue sky, before turning quite abruptly to face. "The past . . ." she said, "won't intrude on him again. The spell just cast will make the dream fade away until one day he won't remember. As for the bracelet, it's merely an enforcer of the spell; he will be able to take it off after a couple of years. Rest assure, he won't remember."

"Thank you Wei."

The elder shook her head. "It's the least I could do."

"Still, I thank you."

The elder woman nodded. "Do you want me to bind your dream as well?"

"No, it's not necessary. The dream for me is just an account of what happened. I have no ill feelings." Blue eyes, glittered. "The memories of another reality were bothering him and I didn't want him to suffer over something that was my fault."

Wei nodded again. "If you're sure?"

"I am," she assured. "I love him dearly and I just rather he forget."

The old woman nodded. "Well, you know where to find me should you need something." She said, grabbing her coat, pausing at the door. As she glanced at her, knowing she would never see her again—in this life, at least. She embraced her. "Take care Kaoru-chan." She said, smiling a little as she left.

While Kaoru stood there, staring after her, as she disappeared behind the thick metal doors of the elevator—waving, Kaoru bid her one final farewell before turning and closing the door, as a small smile began to blossom on her face. Thinking, her dear husband had some rather pressing matters to attend to today.

She carefully padded back to the bedroom though she knew that his normally excellent sense of hearing was rather hindered by the side affect of the newly cast spell, she also knew it wouldn't last very long. And with the way he was, she didn't doubt he'd hear the beat of her heart if she came close enough. Biting her lip and holding her breath, she first peeked into the room. Watching him a moment, waiting for him to stir . . . Kaoru remained by the door.

Until once assured, of his sleeping still before she entered the rest of the way: careful of her step, as she came to stand at the foot of the bed. Admiring the scarlet mane that spilled over the pillows, like dark wine on pale soft covers. As her gaze, slowly began to stray, gliding over the sleeping figure of her husband . . . It seemed to linger, on the sharp facial features of his face; features that relaxed only when he slept, she thought. As her gaze drifted down a bit lower, enamored with his mouth, she sighed, gaze slightly sweeping over lips that thinned when he was angry and curved alluringly when properly enticed . . .

As her gaze continued its downward trail, skimming over softly bronzed skin and smooth planes of chest exposed now by the falling silk, that covered the taught muscles of his abdomen, she sighed. Gaze, slightly glazed as it drew over slender thighs and well toned legs, thinking, he was utterly beautiful in his current state of undress . . . She blushed several shades of red, embarrassed, obviously but not all that surprised.

He had this way about him; she'd just never been able to properly explain. But _just _something about the way he looked at her sometimes. Or even the way his voice seemed rumble deep in his throat—would always somehow manage to make her forget just how savage a yellow glint in his eyes could determinedly become or how terrible a veil the silent shadow of danger emanated from him still.

Not that it'd mattered but—she still figured it was an unfair advantage for him to everyday exploit. As she patted her stomach, almost absently, she smiled most lovingly at the sight of him. Knowing however fair or not, it was a part of what bound them still like their love, though old and indefinable now; was still just as precious . . . like the baby she carried inside her.

Kenshin shifted very suddenly, causing her heart to flutter so wildly, he nearly scared it out of her chest. She knew, he would be awake soon and like before, she didn't want him to catch her standing over him, again. Watching him like she so often did but as he murmured her name; abruptly, making her forget. For whatever reasons . . . a dark fiendish gleam entered her blue-black gaze as her lips began curve. Smiling at his sleeping form, she jumped on him without warning, starling him out of sleep.

As he awoke, for a moment, bewildered, at how he'd come to be caught off guard . . . His eyes narrowed, even more when felt warm curves pressed against him, shaking in a fit of giggles. _Of course_, he thought. Not at all pleased, he pulled on ebony locks, ready to chide the blue-eyed imp for startling him with her little wake-up call, when she turned just as swiftly latching on to him, with a strength he wouldn't have believed her possible to hold. Still, smiling against his neck, his eyes narrowed even further . . .

And a split second later, in a show of inhuman strength, she was lifted off his body and flung down onto the bed. Startled, her laughter subsided to soft puffs of breath, so warm against his face, her eyes locked on heated pools of gold; forgetting her previous train thought . . .

"You need discipline."

Was all she was allowed to comprehend before she was crushed down beneath a warm body and soft lips, aggressively claiming her mouth in a kiss that made her pulse quicken and her skin zing. As he pressed himself down further, sending tiny jolts of crackling energy down her vertebrae, he smiled and shifted further, extracting a soft moan from her—until he altered the kiss, deliberately, slowing it down, turning it into something so wanton—it swept away any resistance there might have been.

So when he pulled back, a small sound of protest escaped her lips, her small hands grasping at his neck, tried in vain to bring him back, to kiss her just that way again. She whimpered, already lost to her desire, her eyes completely darkened, blackening with such need—she clutched his hair tighter, attempting to forcefully bring him down.

When he suddenly began to laugh—thoroughly amused—he caught her wrists, in a firm hold, easily breaking from their grasp. "Bad Kaoru," he chided as he brought her hands up over her head. "What . . ." He asked slowly, "was so important you had to wake me up, hnh?" His words could have fallen over a suddenly deaf, for all she was listening to him, as she continued to struggle, straining against his hold—"Koishii." He suddenly pressed his lips against her face; curving against her jaw, as he watched her gaze refocus, training on his gaze. He pulled a bit away.

"Did you _want _something?"

And still, Kaoru blinked, her mind struggling past the haze of desire he'd imposed, trying to remember why she'd jump on him in the fist place. She remembered . . . she'd wanted to say . . . _something _or go some place—_maybe _. . . it was all too hazy now.

"Koishii?"

She quickly shook her head and tried to reach for him again, grasping at a few wisps of hair. He laughed, suddenly, releasing her hands as he rolled off her. She pouted prettily, huffing in frustration as she sat up. "Kenshin-_baka_."

He smiled at her and moved away from the bed before she became obstinate, coercing a response out of him like she so often did. He shook his head and headed for the bathroom while she stayed behind; calling him, things that weren't at all nice.

For a few seconds at least and after another long string of vilifying comments, she grudgingly left the bed. Padded across the cold hardwood floors and kicked the bathroom door hard before she headed for the kitchen. Mumbling under her breath, she jerked the refrigerator open, more than annoyed by the redheaded man. She popped a small donut into her mouth, chewing angrily on it before she pulled out the box with the rest. And sighed, as she set the box on the table, pulling out another—she shrieked and dropped her donut as strong arms wrapped around her waist.

While Kenshin laughed, keeping his arms around her in a forced embrace.

"Baka." She muttered, feeling her heart, somewhere in her mouth.

He smiled against her skin, laid a small kiss on her cheek, and spun her around to face him. Her lips parted, forming half his name before he covered her mouth in a rough kiss. A snaking arm, pulled her even closer still as the other threaded through her hair, slightly tilting her face as he slid his tongue into her mouth. She shivered then moaned, rapt by the erotic patterns he drew on her tongue, moving in a sensual dance as it swept over every crevice of her mouth . . . She purred into his mouth and was surprised when he growled in response, grasping her tighter as he molded her against him.

Until lack of air forced them a bit apart, separating with a soft, moist sound that left her all but panting, as she drew in ragged breathes. His eyes kindled, feeling his blood warm. He tightened his grip around her waist, descending on her neck, as he laid hot open mouth kisses on her throat, laving at the skin until she shuddered and held him close.

"Why the bracelet?" He asked, breath, hot against her face—just a moment or so, before he caught an overly sensitized lobe between his teeth and suckled it into his mouth. As Kaoru's eyes shut tight, willing the heat in her blood to cool, enough at least for her to respond. His mouth became all the more insistent; and as her body, such a traitorous, conspirator arched against him. His teeth scraped down her neck, biting her suddenly until she cried out, too overwhelmed by his touch—her legs buckled beneath her weight. And she collapsed, panting against his chest. As he picked her up, carrying her back to bed, she could still not remember _why _she'd had to wake him up . . .

· · · · ·

Hours later, after she eventually remembered though she dragged him out the door. Now as Kenshin walked along side his wife, his right hand tightly grasped by her left as they made their way into a furniture store. He looked around, a bit bewildered still by the endless rows of tiny beds and larger cribs.

'They were having a boy,' she had said and though he was six moths in coming, Kaoru didn't want to have wait till the very last second before beginning to decorate _his _nursery—though she'd already had the room painted with a Muriel (of all things, she'd assured him, he'd come love.) He still didn't know what do to . . .

"Kenshin?"

His inner dialogue quickly came to a sudden halt as he looked at her. Kaoru's hands smoothed over an antique crib, newly refinished with a dark colored gloss. "Do you like this one?"

He wasn't sure but—something about the way she touched it. "I like the dark cherry finish; it costs a bit more than some of the newer models but I think it's worth it." She said voice soft. "I don't want him sleeping in anything plastic."

"Take it then." He said, as Kaoru turned, peering at him closely, watching her hand glide over the rail.

"Do you really like it?" He nodded, surprisingly meaning it, before she smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying a kiss against his throat. "Thank you," she whispered, slowly, pulling back, brushing his bags away from his eyes before dragging him along.

It was late in the afternoon already and they had to hurry still if they were to find the rest of the furnishings today because tomorrow, as she had already decided, would be especially dedicated to an all toy shopping expedition. Though that wasn't to say, if she could somehow manage to drag him out of bed early enough, she still wouldn't try to find the baby a small variety of clothes. With any luck, she'd have time to buy him shoes as well, she thought. Sighing a little, just thinking about his tiny little matching outfits . . .

Kenshin smiled, only guessing at her thoughts. He already sympathized with their son and all he'd have to endure with a mother with an eye for clothes. He'd intervene when necessary of course but with her temper, he wouldn't always win, not unless he cheated. He thought, smirking just a bit.

"What are you thinking?"

He raised a brow suggestively, causing her to blush and his smirk to grow large. "Hentai," she hissed softly as to not draw attention. Though as leaned forward, stirred by her accusation, her eyes grew wide and she looked almost frantically around, watching for any signs of people—"Okay," she consented.

Making him smile a bit more devious. "Okay?"

Dark-eyes narrowed. He'd schooled his features into a blank facade, useless in any case, since she see could see the mirth hiding in his eyes. "Why do I even bring you?"

Eyes glinting, he bent to whisper in her ear. "Because koishii, you can't carry nearly as much as I can." He said, as she scoffed and tried to turn away, his mouth suddenly sealed around hers, kissing her without regard to any of the salespeople who might have been standing by. As he released her, finally, taking a small step back. Noting her flushed face—nearly out of breath, as she grasped his hand mutely, turning and pulling him along, as they made their way to another section of the store. He tried hard not to smile.

At least, not until much later—hours later, actually, after they'd returned to the apartment and his hands burned raw along with several other places on his arms where he was sure the circulation had been cut off—did he finally begin to unwind.

Slowly as he set eleven bags down on the nursery floor, arms aching from the strain, did he finally begin looking over what they'd bought. As his eyes scanned over the room, drifting over the many new pieces set around the lavish crib. He couldn't help but smile. Already, she loved their son and already, had she promised him siblings—a dynasty, actually is what she'd said. Which had mystified him at first until he remembered, what she'd always said, when first revealing her name as—_'Kaoru_ . . . _like the empress.'_

Which reminded him suddenly, about asking her what she'd meant; he'd been meaning to do it for the longest time now but something always seem to distract him, making him forget. Today however, he was determined to ask. And firmly decided on this, he silently stepped out of the room and into the bedroom.

"I was thinking," she said without needing to turn. "That it would be nice to move into a house, a nice residential area where our kids could play in the street, run over the neighbor's yards and run after stray dogs." She said, smiling at the thought. She just knew they were going to be troublesome little monsters. They'd always been so before, she thought, as her smile grew wider. She turned, walking over to the bed where he now lay. Regarding her with an unreadable expression on his face, that disappeared the moment her brow began to crease.

"We can move, if that's what you want."

He sounded sincere, she thought. But now, she couldn't help but wonder if that's really, what he thought. If he didn't want to move, he could just say, she wouldn't object really. There were plenty of rooms still left in his apartment. And moving had only been just a thought but still–

He seemed to guess at her thoughts as he pulled her down to him, making her yelp in surprise as she tumbled on to him. Flushing, such a nice shade of pink; he half smiled and lowered his voice to a silky drawl that always seemed to make her spine melt. As he looked at her, eyes suffusing shades of amber, coiling around her more securely than his do snaking arm around her waist. He said—"Now," setting aside her previous musing with mere tone of his voice—"Tell me about this empress you mentioned . . . back when we first met."

He was so casual, so deceptively . . . curious. Kaoru couldn't help but frown, wondering why he'd want to know such a thing, all of a sudden. But as she looked at him, seeing nothing more than mere curiosity in his gaze, she decided there was no real harm in telling him the story. She would tell it to her children after all and he was bound to hear at some point. So, nodding her head, she shifted to his side, tucking her head under his chin as she began her story; much like all stories begin.

"A long, long time ago, there was a small child, raised within the walls of a dying empire. This child, completely isolated from her birth, was slowly taught at first, the significance of her mother's blood. So that as she grew, instructed by her mother's line—the sense of one became her way of life."

"And still time passed, and as she grew. Learning of ways to lure men and extract imperial power, she had yet to realize that what they wanted was for her to one day _cease _that power." She said, sadly. "As more time passed and her thoughts remolded, it was instilled into her head, that one day, she would become an empress. The greatest empress her line had ever known."

And still, more time passed.

"Until one day, shortly after her fifteen birthday, she was summoned to her father side. A stranger though he was to her, she still held a sort of love for the man. And after a short bow, she took a seat in front of him. It's then that he told her she would be leaving, her marriage had already been arranged and she had but a month left, before she departed from his lands."

"She was surprised but didn't argue against his announcement. In truth, she didn't know him well enough to have dared talk back to him, unknowing of what he might do; she did as she was supposed to do. She nodded her and bowed low in respect, shortly before leaving him again."

"That last month, passed in the blink of an eye and then, as he father had said. She was sent away, her wedding gift, four personal guards to keep her safe. And so with them she traveled, guided by a soldier from her betroths domain. It was another month before they finally arrived and there she found, a kingdom, greater than she'd ever know though ruled, they rumored, by a man with no remorse. Once inside the castle walls, she heard even more distressing news, he was a widower, they had said. Six times over and as it seemed all his previous wife's had died mysteriously on their wedding night."

"She worried now, afraid, she might not be able to fend him off. As she sat there, quietly waiting in her chambers, dreading the moment her summon would soon come, she began to get a little restless. Because she knew, once that ceremony had begun, she would only be a step away from the wedding night. And by then . . ."

"A sudden knock on the door, startled her out of her thoughts as she called her permission for them to enter. The door, crept open slowly, surprising her, as instead of one guard, there entered three men: two rather older looking warriors and then a younger one." Kaoru said, smiling fondly, "by her count, he couldn't have been more than five or six years older than her, he looked awfully young . . . As she looked him, her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by one of the older men handing her a letter. Which upon its seal been broken, made the younger of the men, drop to one knee. She thought it curious but paid no further heed, turning her attention to the letter instead, she quickly realized it'd been written by her mother, shortly after she'd been born and just a bit before she'd died. In it, she explained certain rights, the bindings of this ones life and the hold she would always have . . ."

"Now, as the soon to be empress, looked at her new found pet—her protector, if she'd read the contract right, is all he'd ever be. But as she'd been taught that all men, in one way or another, were slaves to women she thought, so this one, would be too—beautiful though he might have been. He was nothing more than a slave, one who would do as she wished or cry out in punishment."

Kaoru's eyes veiled, for a moment. "He didn't know it when he first met her but her beauty hid something dark, a cruelty and temper, he would later come to know, but as it was, when they first met," Kaoru smiled, watching his eye flutter close. "He felt his heart stop. So beautiful and young, she smiled just for him and that was all it took to seal his fate. Bowing to the would–be–empress," she murmured, softly stroking his hair. "Is how the story truly began . . ."

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- Owari

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Yay! I'm finished. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone. It took me months and months of editing and rewriting but I hope all of you enjoyed it. There were are no _Small Notes _towards the end as it must have become obvious but I didn't want to contradict or hint towards anybody's idea of what might happen in the end.

Still if any of you have any questions, I'll be hanging around my website. So don't be shy and drop me a line. After, such a long story, I hope you don't mind if I take a couple of days off before continuing _Echoes_. As for _Obscuring Shadows_, all I can ask is for you to have a little bit more patients. That story is twisted and it takes a great deal of maneuvering around.


	29. Author's Note

Well . . . I'm back because it seems that a lot of you have had a bit of problem following the story line. I believe that might be my fault for not putting up the chapters up sooner and so a lot of you have probably forgotten some key moments in the story that become relevant at the very end.

Now, I won't go through all of it because it seems a waist of time. But I can however, add the small notes to chapters 25-28. I will go in order and from there you can pick up from where you got lost, yes.

All right.

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Small Notes

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Chapter 25

Begins some days after x-mas . . . at the end of the year. Kenshin has gone off to work. Despite Kaoru's sudden request to stay behind, he leaves the apartment and resumes his duty as head of security. Working almost up until a quarter past eleven before he can no longer stand it. He's suspicious. Wondering if she's alone . . . He becomes angry, just the thought of her being unfaithful is enough to drive him mad. She is _his_. And by Kami, he would rather kill the obstacle between them than to ever give her up. As he has warned her before. He wouldn't just let her go, more to the point there wasn't any place she could go where he wouldn't follow and bring her back. In time, he knew, '_she'd realize just how much._'

That line, specifically, reveals just how much he can still feel, not just their past but the tumultuous strings of their love. Now, he might not be able to remember, why or how the feeling of love ever came to be so strong but he knows, beyond a doubt that Kaoru was meant just for him.

It's this that drives, him forward.

As he leaves the gala, hoping he won't be too late, he sighs. Clearly seeing the image of her face, in the park as she danced around in his arms. He remembers only how much in love with him she had seem. And would hopefully always be.

· · · · ·

When he finally arrives, he is surprised to find her on the phone, even more when he hears her say she loves the other person on the phone. More so, because he himself, has not been so fortunate. Despite her obvious affection towards him, she has never said the words.

As Kaoru turns, happy to seem him. She immediately becomes aware of his anger. But as to why . . . She approaches him slowly, asking him what's wrong. When he reveals his reasons, asking her why she'd stayed at home. She can't help but laugh. She wouldn't have thought he'd be insecure . . . For someone whose been with as many women . . . She thinks it's ironic.

Her laughter, however innocent, is immediately misinterpreted. As he looks at her, an icy barrier already built between them, her laughter subsides. As she reaches for him, meaning to soothe rather than further provoke. She smiles, revealing to him a apart of her reason; to tell her father.

Which proves, not just how much she cares for him but how much she is willing to do to prove her love. As he looks at her, reaffirmed in his believes once more, he does that which he'd planned to do at the ball. He proposes.

Which is so unexpected, Kaoru can't help but faint. As she lies there, caught between reality and her haven, constructed out need and a selfish wish to bind him. The Kenshin of her past returns. Hiding within the shadows, her mind has created, for what purposes, Kaoru doesn't think. She only wants—and needs, more than anything for him to remain within her grasp. So much, she could cry. When he avoids her, teasing her with his nearness. She comes to realizes, he's doing it on purpose. And still, she wants him. More than life and more than breath . . .

Kaoru is reawakened by something in his voice. Something so close to despair and grief, it calls her back to him. Though she does not know this when she awakens, she does feel the shift his question provoked.

As she looks at him, not quite sure if he's asked. She begins to tremble. And though he reaffirms her, lightly, kissing her as she accepts. Kaoru still can't help but feel the first pang of pain, as she realizes, at last how inevitable it will all be. Because where there is a beginning . . . there must all be an end. No matter how much it hurts . . . Kaoru accepts her fate. Though as tears, bloom and fall down her face, Kenshin pulls away. At once, worried, feeling the underlining guilt for her pain. Kaoru tactilely draws his attention away.

Asking him when he wishes for them to be married. Does indeed draw him away. As he becomes lost, in the comfort of her arms. Kaoru comes to realize just how much control over her emotions she has lost—with the fracture of that first bind. Kaoru becomes lost. Even with him that close, nuzzling against her throat, she felt distress. Until she realizes, that the only way she'll manage is by somehow finding herself again. Asking him to kiss and love her, then, were only intended for that purpose. Having him claim her . . . as he did, was too much for heart to take, as he shattered her resolve. Kaoru accepted; whatever pain her loving him could mean, she would not run away.

· · · · ·

The very next day, just as he had wanted, they were married. No matter how anxious she might have been the night before. Kaoru was happy now. As she looked at the marriage certificate. Reading and reading her name;

Kamiya Kaoru had officially become Himura Kaoru.

Just as she had always wanted, no matter what lifetime they stood in or in between. He was hers. And bound to her now by something concrete. And that, she thought would surely keep him with her . . . this time.

As she cried, Kenshin came back to the car. Surprised, to find her in such a state, still. He had thought, after she had cried so much through out the ceremony she'd be fine . . . And as he asked her, watching her smile, and smooth out the paper in her hands. He realized she was . . . just happy.

Knowing his heart echoed her joy, he started up the car. Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, they drove in silence. At least, for a while, as either stole a glance of the other. Kaoru thought of his rings . . . a symbol of their love now, both in the past and present. As she sighed, happily twirling her ring, she remembered she hadn't eaten.

Reminding him of that, only made him laugh. Suspecting, that be the case. He had already been on the road, to what she'd once mention, had always been her favorite restaurant.

Eating there was a bit of a revelation for him. As she interacted with Maekawa, watching her smile and talk. He knew he was in love with her, had maybe even known so, right from the start but admitting it. What that meant for someone, with now parents or siblings. For someone who'd only had acquaintances and never any real friends. It had been hard for him to realize, just how deep . . . that feeling went. How it revolved around her and the means to her happiness. He had not been able to admit, as right away as the idea that he was infatuated with her. And later on, when the feeling grew so great, when he realized he was in love with her. He had only thoughts of making her fall in love with him.

When that soon came to be the case, when he admitted how much he loved her and she collapsed against him, crying because she did too. He thought only of how to keep her. Wishing she would tell her father, he had realized was but a means of asserting a stake in a heart that had only ever loved one man. Even if he was her father. He had wanted to know that she loved him more.

Going against her father's wishes and marrying him anyways—he now had what he'd wanted all along and so, could no longer deny. How much that truly meant to him.

For all he'd promised her; _for today, tomorrow and everyday after_—for all the days of his life now . . . she was his as he was hers. Kami only knew, after finding her—there wasn't much of anything he wouldn't do to keep that. _"Not anything."_

Falling asleep that night, with him drifting off before her. Kaoru had but a few seconds before a deep sleep, slithered across her conscious as it stole away the whispers of her abyss, encompassed in an all surrounding warmth—Kaoru didn't dream at all.

· · · · ·

Now threes days after. On a cold Thursday afternoon, Kenshin has stopped off at her old house to pick up her mail. Which she seems really grateful for after she opens her fathers' present. Not all surprised, Kenshin refrained from comment. He knew how she'd been brought up. So, as one of those who would now be competing in the events of this grand gestures, he merely paid attention to what she liked. As they drove back home, with her avid descriptions and few glances, Kenshin kept an eye on what she got.

It was when he was watching the road and switching lanes, that she turned to him. Stating confusion, as she handed him the package with the black baccara inside. She did not know what to make of it. But he knew, though he was reluctant to admit it. Preferring to have the S-9 labs look at it first. He switched lanes and ramps, heading downtown as she read her letter from Misao . . .

It wasn't till the car came to a stop that she noticed. Wondering what they were doing in Shinjuku still, he stated something vague, telling her he needed to drop something of was the easiest way he could tell her and still not lie. As he kissed her, distracting her while he hid the package behind his back was enough.

As she watched him leave her, distracted by the way his hair seem to waver in the breeze. She didn't notice the fading light too much until she turned back in her seat and tried to continue reading. When that was obviously not possible, she looked around, wondering where they were until she spotted her bank. And since it was but a few steps, she decided she'd just deposit her cousins check now.

It was oddly cold when she opened the door, despite it been winter, she wasn't anywhere near the northern part of the state and couldn't help but shiver as the blanketing cold around her seemed to run inside her clothes. As she made her way over to the atm, grumbling though she might have been, it didn't take her long to finish.

It was as she turned around to get back in to the car that everything seemed to slow. As the doors to the back blew open and she staggered back, coughing. Watching a cloud of dust slowly setting. Having it dissipate just seconds before man ran. Kaoru's vision refocused. Watching wearily understanding the thread he might pose . . . She did as he was told. Though as he neared her, trying to take her keys by force. Kaoru reacted out of instinct, performing as she been taught, so long ago. Shortly after her mother was gone and her father, had promised never to loose her a man such as that . . .

Kaoru knocked him out. And tried to call the police when a second man came out. Much more careful than the first, as he made her drop her phone before shooting. Trying to get her to toss her keys instead. She became worried. Maybe even a little more as he put his gun to the hollow of her throat.

But even as he took the keys from her. Kaoru's worry vanished with the sight of Kenshin. Watching him catch sight of them, seeing him draw out his gun. She could only think to call to him. Whispering his name . . .

Caught the thieves attention. As he turned, immediately seeing the red headed man. He hid behind her. Using her as a shield, while he figured out what car she'd been driven in. The idea to check the alarm came to him and once seeing the black sports cars' flashing light. He slowly made her walk out in front of him. Carefully, hidden just from view, he was smart enough to keep her angled just right. It wasn't till the very last moment, when he was getting ready to get into the car and was having a final look around that he peeked out from behind her.

And as the breeze slowed, catching sight of Kenshin hateful yellow gaze, Kaoru could only close her eyes. As the shot rang out, Kenshin's voice overshadowing the thick wet splash the bullet made behind her. She ran to him as he called her.

Though it was then, when his face suddenly changed. His expression becoming pale and horrified, that she stopped. Wondering why . . . he would at her like that when . . . Something caught her in the back. It must have . . . though she didn't understand. She was falling. As he shouted, running towards her as fast he could . . . in this life.

Her world suddenly lurched and she understood only that something had gone horribly wrong. Something maybe fate had not intended . . . Her thoughts could not finish then, as pain exploded along her senses, the rest of everything faded into darkness.

· · · · ·

Now after having read the story and the small I think there are certain things that must have become obvious to you, ne?

The dream for instance. After Kenshin proposed, when she fainted in his arms and returned once again to that haven her memories had created . . . It should seem odd, no, that he should appear like that again, hidden beneath a dark blanketing darkness, so much like before . . . When they hadn't yet met and it could be said still, that a part of him called out to her at night. But now . . . She's met him, touched him and talked to him. She has loved him.

So why . . . was that other one even there. This shadow . . . this echo of his past. And why most importantly still does the dream Kenshin seem to remember more than her present one . . .

Amidst all of this, what does a black baccara have to with things. Is it an omen, a joke perhaps . . . who sent it.

Kenshin suspects . . . Something but his thoughts are never revealed as to who he might think could be sending her flowers. What he does know, and always keeps in mind, is the incident with Kaoru's mother. Despite the neighborhood they'd lived in, she'd been followed, attacked and killed.

After Kenshin found this out, a little before housing with Kaoru in Kyoto, he swore to himself to be more careful than Kaoru's father had been with her mum. Only now as history seems to be trying to repeat itself. All he can do is take the proper precautions.

Though sadly, it's this precaution that ultimately leads to Kaoru's . . . injury.

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Chapter 26

Back tracks just a bit. Continuing from Kenshin's point of view . . . As the thieve peeks out from behind her. He takes his shot. Killing him on the spot. As he calls out to her, waiting for his body to hit floor. He keeps his gun raised, waiting for her to come to him . . . Though its then, in waiting for her to reach him, that a look of abject horror crosses his face . . . unable to believe . . . the bullet caught her.

And as she begins to tumble, slowly falling to the ground, he can only run towards her, as he picks her and turns over, he becomes overwhelmed by the sight of too much blood. As he cradles her, beginning to feel too much, of soon to be all consuming grief, all he can is put his hand over her breast, trying most desperately to hold her blood back.

Crying over her pales face, the paramedics suddenly arrive. Taking her away while in a moment of grief, he turns on the source of his pain . . . Killing him immediately. Leaves the rest of the world in silence. As they watch him, slowly turn, watching the ambulance drive away . . .

The media once again intrudes . . . Though they are silent, catching as much of the moment, as they can. Watching his distraught pale face . . . and the unmistakable hatred in the depths of his dark yellow gaze, they can only watch.

As he turns, intent clear as he heads for his car . . . He is stopped by surrounding agents; arms raised, guns loaded. The PSB will not let him go. Even as he threatens them, knowing what his capable of . . . they make him stay behind. His only fleeting thought, remain with Kaoru and the hope that she would be all right. Because anything else . . . he knew, he wouldn't be able to ever.

· · · · ·

Aa he arrives at the hospital, finding Kamiya Kenji already there; hostile and full of grief. He is both, stricken and suddenly angered. Overhearing his remarks to against her wishes . . .

Kaoru interrupts there argument, as her eyes flutter open, revealing sad, dark eyes. His heart is quieted. For a moment, watching her talk to her father . . . dismissing him to remain alone . . . He feels the sting of tears rising inside him again.

Watching her cry . . . openly confessing her love. He begins to cry as well, as the world fades away, leaving them alone . . . He knows he cannot bear this. To hear cry out in pain . . . speaking to him in riddles he doesn't understand.

Kaoru's binds finally shatter . . . and in that moment, as too much pain and love overwhelm her . . . She passes on. Taking with her, the need to live and love, as sanity overtakes him. He shakes her, crying and whispering, hoping to coax her eyes open. As he breaths in to her mouth, lips soft and caressing against . . . Until he's pulled off. And wrestled to the floor as the doctors Tae went to get, arrive in time to try to resuscitate her. He struggles, needing to be with her, to hold her hand . . . He can't stop fighting and it becomes only too obvious to the others as well.

When he's injected, realizing too late, he begins to fall, succumbing to the rising darkness all around him until he hears . . . the whispers of her voice . . . Her only breath upon being brought back annunciates his name. Giving him strength, in world turned cold. And something in her passing, begins to stirs his soul . . . Something in his previous lifetime, in knowing he was the cause . . . the Kenshin we know . . . the rurouni who'd love his Kaoru, releases himself in the present Kenshin. As his ki rises, unleashes the strength that once named him Battousai. Kenshin finds the will to rise. And return to her side.

But it's Kenji's which stops him, laying the blame solely on him. Kenshin wavers, knowing it to be at least partly true makes him suddenly angry. As he faces the older man, claiming her as his. He promises Kaoru would be buried with him and him alone.

As he leaves, stalking off in anger. Kenshin does not think, feeling the rising darkness trying to overcome him. He finds solace in the shadows of an empty chapel. Still quite unable to comprehend . . . the sudden turn of events.

Remembering her . . . only makes him want to die. And as he pulls out his gun, counting how many bullets he has left. He decides, without her . . . life would not be worth living so . . . as he's about to put the clip back in his gun and do it.

A little girl wonders in, offering him a treat that only makes things worse, as he chokes on memory of her love for sweets. The little introduces herself . . . as Kaiya, which is so familiar to him . . . He recognizes it as he remembers Kaoru once having said that had been her mothers name.

Insistent . . . the little girl got him to eat the cookie, promises it'd all be all right. Kenshin felt himself begin to drift, and as he turned towards the door, seeing the child he could have had with Kaoru . . . She smiles, calling by name . . . when he never introduced himself but it's too late to ask now . . . As Kenshin falls asleep, everything he knew, fades in to darkness . . .

· · · · ·

When he awakes again, feeling ghostly pain and grief, veil around him. Kenshin knows it was all a dream. Everything he had lived . . . her dying, it was all a dream that night but even while knowing it, it hadn't been enough to keep him from crying.

His thoughts are interrupted then as his unit is called out into the field and we see, as if a camera were zooming out. A thirty-six year old Kenshin, still a member of the Kagemusha. Leader now, as we see him reading off a clip, explaining there assignments as they drive off towards the embassy.

· · · · ·

And now, at the end of summer as Kaoru graduates a whole semester early. We see her father, sad and lonely, reminiscing about her youth . . . remembering when she was still just a child.

It's there, on top of a little hill that she finds him and smiles, comforting him as only she can. Before slowly leading him away back towards the car.

It's there however, on their drive to a celebratory dinner that she falls asleep and Keji realizes how selfish he must still be . . . keeping her out, when he knew she was so exhausted still. He sighs and decides to pick up take out instead. Before driving her back to her apartment.

When awakes from her nap, finding her father gone, she yawns and stretches, looking around to make sure he's got the keys before, rising and exiting the car.

As she stands outside, noting the oddity of the day. She feels a chill run through her. Feeling something . . . she couldn't quite place in to words. She sighs and dismisses the idea, entering the restaurant, greeting Maekawa as she takes a seat. She lets herself be cuddles by her father still.

· · · · ·

That same day, later in the afternoon, she realizes she still had the instructors book to buy. And so, dashes out of her house to the library she'd always bought her books from.

When she crashes into someone, she seems to almost fall back when a set of strong arms, grasp her suddenly, holding her securely a moment or so before slowly letting go. As she looks up at her rescuer, Kaoru is struck dumb by something in his eyes. And she gazes at the rest of him, something in her stirs. Watching his mouth curve into a smile.

He asks for her name.

Unaware of how much is revealed when she announces it's Kaoru. Like the empress, he can't help but say. As she watches, something, flicker across his gaze. She nods, smiling a most disarming smile. Asking him if he knows the story.

Sadly it seems, he does not.

Before she can think then, words of invite are coming out of her mouth. Asking him if he'd like to have dinner with her . . . He smiles and almost immediately agrees, answering her in such a dark silky tone. Kaoru feels her heart might actually stop.

As she turns, happily beginning to walk away. She realizes she does not know his name and turns back. Asking him.

He answered her simply; _Himura . . . Himura Kenshin._ Wondering if she remembered . . . watching her test it. Saying it softly. He knew she did not.

But that didn't matter, anymore. She was alive and happy. Free of the pain he had caused her. Even at the expense of his own. He could not begrudge her. He already loved her.

And now, with this second chance handed down to him. He would make her fall in love with him before she even realized who he was. He thought, smiling. Before slowly turning away.

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Small Notes

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Epilogue

Begins with Kenshin being asleep and as Wei, Kaoru's old teacher (from DK:BB), and now friend finishes up a spell to bind his dream of their past.

While Kaoru can only watch from a distance. Waiting for her to join her, so that together they may walk out.

Outside the room, bidding each other farewell. Wei seems like she might tell Kaoru something else . . . When she turns to ask her about having her dream bound as well. She is wondering if she should tell her how he came to have that dream . . . But when Kaoru refuses, choosing to remember the ghostly pain of betrayal she once felt at being abandoned by him . . . Now healed by the torment she'd made him suffer . . . She would not let it go.

And so, Wei decided, since she had no memory really, of her other past self's it be safe enough to let it be. Hugging her goodbye. Wei left, knowing she wouldn't ever see her again until the next life, where even Wei couldn't imagine what the hands of destiny might reveal.

As Kaoru turned back, all ready preoccupied by thoughts of a red headed man. She slowly crept back into the room. Watching him asleep. She couldn't help but smile. Even more when he murmured her name and she realized he dreamt about her still. In what way . . . Kaoru did not bother to think about. As she jumped on him.

Starling him out of sleep. She began to laugh. As he turned angry eyes on her, she merely laughed a little louder, smiling against his throat until he physically removed her from her hiding spot.

And flung her on the bed, with such strength, her laughter subsided. Watching him, feeling his warmth suddenly all around her, she could barely comprehend him telling her she needed discipline. Before he crushed her down against the bed. Kissing her so passionately. She forgot why she'd woken him up in the first place.

Which wasn't so much what he'd intended to do. As he pulled back, asking her why she'd had to wake him in such a way . . . She was in no state to answer him, trying to draw him back instead. He laughed and rolled off of her before she coerced a different type of response.

More than a little annoyed, Kaoru begrudgingly rose off the bed and kicked his door before going out into the kitchen to stuff her face. She had but barely taken out her favorite box of donuts when he suddenly came up behind her, scaring her so much, she dropped her donut.

She would have gotten angry again if hadn't been so quick to silence the litany of words she'd had in mind. Though as he kissed, barely allowing her a chance to breath before he crushed his lips against her throat again. Kaoru seemed to loose all resistance. Even as he asked her about the bracelet, his insistence actions made her forget but his name . . .

Until hours later when she dragged him out of the house. Remembering they had planned to buy the babies furnishings that day. She dragged him around from store to store, until well into the night.

When they returned home, as he set down, many of the bags he'd carried around most of the day. He looked around at all the things she'd bought baby. Thinking about how much she loved the baby and all the siblings she'd promised him . . . He remembered what she'd always said about her name. The ways she'd always introduced herself . . .

He left the nursery hoping to finally hear the story. And as he entered their bedroom, watching her fold a couple of shirts into a drawer while he settle back against the bed. She began speaking to him about moving, which was find with him. As long they were together . . . He wouldn't have cared if she'd suddenly decided they go live in a dojo bearing her name.

When he didn't respond to her musings, she turned around regarding him a mere second before her brow began to crease. He knew something of his thoughts must have shown and immediately closed of his expression. As she neared him, he said it was fine. If she wanted to move. They could.

Wondering if he were really being sincere, Kaoru neared the bed a bit more, enough for him to grasp her arm and pull her down. As she landed on top of him, a little embarrassed by the shrill scream she'd just had scarred out of her. He smiled, using an oh-so-casual tone, he asked her to tell him the story about the Empress, she'd always mentioned.

After of moment of inner wandering, Kaoru decided he was merely curious and so, settled nicely against him before she began her story. Not exactly as it had been but more . . . in a sort of abbreviated type of summary. As she recounted bits of her childhood and then her departure from her fathers land. She watched him from the side of her eye.

Recounting her moments before being married to the emperor, her smile turned sad. Remembering, as she told him about their first introduction. As protector and sovereign, how her way of thinking had twisted their relationship to one of dominance and obedience. To a loyalty and love that would all later come. She remembered . . . how he didn't know. That her beauty, for all its revered account, hid something dark, a cruelty and temper, he would later come to know, but as it was, when they first met he felt his heart stop. She said, watching his eyes begin to close.

She knew he was tired.

Still, she continued telling him how despite being young . . . He was beautiful and how her smile, always just for him, was all it took to seal his fate. As he bowed to her . . . "the would–be–empress," she murmured, softly stroking his hair. "Is how the story truly began . . ."

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There isn't much more I can say in regards to The Impious Empress without giving a way much of the beginning. Which of yet remains in my head and few pieces of paper. Which isn't too say I haven't written anything I have, I've just skipped tons of chapters, writing out certain other ones instead.

You'll see what I mean when you begin to read it.

All right, well that should have answered most of your questions but if you still any others please feel free to email me, okay. Ja!


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